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Your “Losing Faith In Mankind” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

It’s been a week and a half.

The home renos are taking the usual forever, as I anticipated. The guys tearing up the floor nicked the radiant heat coils, so now they have to cap the copper tubing & pour new cement for the pad. So they can’t tile the bathroom until that gets done.

WineWife just can’t settle for the Home Depot vanities, so we have to order the special one – which has a 5-6 week time lag. So, in the interim, whenever the bathroom is finished, we will have to use the old one until the new one arrives.

At least the new fridge arrived on Friday. BUT! The fun with that is that it was delivered Friday, but can’t have the water hooked up until Monday. So I loaded it up, only to eventually have to empty it Monday morning for 20 minutes, because I just don’t feel like throwing all that stuff away.

It’s only been three weeks so far.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics: (not bothering listing specific networks & times)
    • highlighted events:
      • early Canadian block (8:00pm) – Beach Volleyball, Softball, Shooting & Tennis
      • late Canadian block (midnight) – Tennis, Cycling, Weightlifting, Judo & Basketball
  • MLB:
    • Rays at Cleveland – 7:00pm | FS1
    • Blue Jays at Yankees – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
  • Futbol:
    • Gold Cup: Quarterfinals
      • Qatar vs. El Salvador – 7:30pm | FOX / Univision
      • Mexico vs. Honduras – 10:00pm | FS1 / Univision
    • MLS:
      • Chicago vs. Toronto FC – 8:00pm | TSN
      • LAFC vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:00pm | TSN
  • Fisticuffs:
    • UFC Fight Night: Sandhagen vs. Dillashaw
      • Prelims – 8:00pm | ESPN / TSN5
      • Main card – 10:00pm | ESPN / TSN5

The only blight on this schedule is that the Olympics is allowing TSN to not broadcast live AFL matches.

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scotchnaut

Fascinating. This Van Vleuten woman had a minor crash, fell behind the peloton, caught back up, then passed the peloton and is now chasing the leaders who are 3.5km’s out in front. She’s cycling at about 40-45 kph and the lead group is doing 35 so it’s just a matter of time.

1
Beerguyrob

It’s ridiculous. But almost six minutes is a lot to make up in 35 km.

1
scotchnaut

Yeah, she’s running out of gas.

1
Beerguyrob

Jesus – Simone Biles fucked up a vault. She landed off the side of the mat. She still goes through, but it was awkward to see her miss like that.

0
Beerguyrob

Canada wins silver in the women’s synchronized diving. The Chinese are machines on another level.

2
scotchnaut

Is that our first medal?

1
scotchnaut

nvm, we got one in the pool yesterday.

1
Beerguyrob

Two silvers so far.

1
scotchnaut

The ever-changing strategy in this women’s cycling race is absolutely riveting. The announcers seem to feel that it belongs to the Dutch. We shall see.

2
Doktor Zymm

OK, pretty sure those are fireworks, but the ‘fireworks or gunshots’ game is def less clear cut in this case. Verrry directional

1
Beerguyrob

Does the number of responding sirens give you a hint?

1
Beerguyrob

I am watching women’s synchronized diving, and the suits are… bunching. I might end up on a watch list.

1
Beerguyrob

One thing with no fans is that you can hear each team count down as they start their routine.

1
Dunstan

Ok, but when is the men’s synchronized swimming?

“Hey, you, I know you, I know you!”

5
scotchnaut

“I’m not a strong swimmer.”

4
Beerguyrob

One of the greatest bits ever.

3
Beerguyrob

The Mexican divers are last-named Hernandez Monzon and Mendoza Hernandez.

1
Dunstan

Hey folks. Weird feeling tonight because I found out that an old law school professor of mine died. I hadn’t kept in touch, but he was from the same hometown as me and was a good guy. Also, he let me write my third year paper about Anna Kournikova. So pour one tonight for a good mofo who that asshole disease Alzheimer’s fucked with.

5
Doktor Zymm

Condolences, that sort of thing is always unexpected and upsetting

2
Dunstan

Thanks. Like I said, I didn’t keep in touch and we weren’t particularly close or anything. But reading his obit was oddly affecting.

I’m also revising some annoyance that my shitty hometown has never given him his due. By which I mean, pretty much any due. Because it never gives anyone from there their due, unless they play hockey. (To be clear, *I* deserve no accolades from them. But this guy accomplished a lot more than me.)

3
Gumbygirl

I’m feeling kind of grumpy. Gonna go read.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m lucky I’ve made it as far as I have in the shape I have, but I’ve known enough people of all ages who have just randomly stepped wrong and sustained horrible injuries that yeah, giving up is noble and we should all consider it

1
scotchnaut

China! Italy! 3 on 3 Women’s Basketball! Who ya got?!

1
scotchnaut

It was China.

1
Beerguyrob

My Huawei phone said “not the Uighurs”.

3
scotchnaut

China’s favoUrite defensive tactic is the “O-Press”.

6
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Fuck this noise.

1
Beerguyrob

That seems appropriate. Carry on.

0
Doktor Zymm

“Joey, do you like moves about Gladiators?”

3
Doktor Zymm

This might be the dirtiest PG rated movie there is

1
Doktor Zymm

The joke in Airplane! I didn’t get until I moved to California : https://www.thatericalper.com/2015/04/14/the-joke-in-airplane-hiding-in-plain-sight-that-everybody-missed/

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow fuck that guy

1
Doktor Zymm

Yuuuuuuup

0
TheRevanchist

I’ve been playing Skyrim all day. It’s been one of those weeks where I need to turn off the brain.

0
Doktor Zymm

I haven’t played that in ages, I ought to pick it up again. Quality game. I’m turning my brain off by watching Airplane!

2
Beerguyrob

I’ve gone from watching GCW Homecoming to the Ted Lasso premiere. One has less blood but more sweating than the other.

What an evening.

0
Doktor Zymm

Amazon is recommending that I watch “the wheels on the bus” or “Bob the train” next. Which one of you internet people with small children has been using my amazon video account?

1
TheRevanchist

Generic Bob The Builder and even more generic Thomas The Train? Amazon hates kids

0
Horatio Cornblower

Closing the evening with a 13.3% Bjorn Dork.
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As one does.

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Doktor Zymm

He’s got a strong serve!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Boo! We were hoping for a Bjork Dorn.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

What are you drinking out of, an urn?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Stock image, not my own. It was the best photo of the can, but that drinking vessel is certainly…a thing, anyway.

0
Doktor Zymm

Having X-Games flashbacks

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Doktor Zymm

I think strawberry cheesecake is the only Ben and Jerry’s flavor they didnt ruin by adding unnecessary chocolate

1
litre_cola

Bryson Dechambeau out of the Olympics got done by the Rona, he is a supreme douchebag of the highest order, good for him.

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Mr. Ayo

Can’t wait for him to blame his former caddie or sponsors for it.

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Beerguyrob

It’s like a spy film, with Brooks Koepka as “The Virus”.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Funny, I’d figure him to test positive for cholesterol.

1
rockingdog

found a funny:

Her: ur gonna love him, funniest guy I know!
Me: ok,
Friend, walking in: *budweiser frog voice* wazzzuuuuup *Peter Griffin voice* freakin sweet to meetya *Seinfeld voice* whats the deal, w our plans tonight? *Ron Swanson voice* are we grilling steaks *Jim Carrey voice* or smoki

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
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Doktor Zymm

Got Locast running on my fire stick so Olympics is a go! Took me long enough!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard do you think Tucker Carlson roots against American swimmers if they’re black? I’m thinking 12, 12.5.

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Doktor Zymm

I hope he ends up painfully dying of poor loseriness when Simone Biles wins everything

0
Horatio Cornblower

“I hope he ends up painfully dying”

Stop drilling, you’ve struck oil.

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Doktor Zymm

So, apparently Amazon Silk is not a stripper, but a web browser on the fire stick

1
litre_cola

We also would have accepted self pleasuring device. Wild and smooth.

2
Mr. Ayo

Also on Kindles. Thought they would have abandoned that POS software some time ago.

0
Doktor Zymm

There are lots of reasons living in California is better than living in Chicago, but good bars is not one of them. Chicago is the clear winner in that category

0
Brick Meathook

Hey kids I want you to watch this video.

Do you see all those impossibly hot dancing girls?

Those girls are your grandmothers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqcDG_xLWPY

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Mr. Ayo

I’ve been sleeping with the wrong grandmothers

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Beerguyrob

“Nailed her” – John Holmes

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rockingdog

Yo so psyched to see skating and surfing in the olympics

thats ROCKING!!!!

also Midlers ender on this is legit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYAzo5OdqHM

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SonOfSpam

…and a softly hit opposite field double with one out in the 9th ruins the Angels no-hitter.

Now to watch them blow the game.

0
SonOfSpam

Angels hang on for a 2-1 win.

1
Don T

Buy a beer card, pour yer own tap. I can’t believe this place is 8 blocks from La Mansión.
Dun Fact: I thought the card was up
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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

If you’re nawt sure which way is up on the card, then it might be time to go home

Or hard.

Whatever

4
Don T

HARD BAB—
/yawns, scratches eyes

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That is a great invention.

1
Don T

duro

1
Dunstan

Seen that in wine bars, never with beer. Very cool.

0
Don T

Sokka gif AND bitching about contractors? When yer ready, Beerguy, let’s elope
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Beerguyrob

I’m well rounded! (Thanks to the “Pandemic Pounds” ™️)

1
SonOfSpam

Angels P Sandoval throwing a no-hitter, one out in the 8th.

1
SonOfSpam

On to the 9th, no Twins hits yet.

SPHINCTERS ARE TIGHTENING.

0
Mr. Ayo

Walker Rangers also getting no-no’d.

1
SonOfSpam

Just haven’t been the same since baseball genius Dubya left.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“DAMNIT PANTERA THIS BEER IS WARM, GET ME ANOTHER!” except saying it to myself since I’m the one who didn’t plan ahead well enough

2
SonOfSpam

Will never ever be unfunny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pRZauWIAo&ab_channel=GaryDiablo

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can confirm, tummy is sore from laughing at “AW, IS THAT A TEAR? IS DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL UPSET? I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS INTO NEXT TUESDAY!”

3
Beerguyrob

Truth.

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herodotus450

(Watching an Oklahoma(n) slowly tear down the Big 12)
“Hmmph. I coulda done it faster.”
-Tim McV.

0
Mr. Ayo

Gold Cup Bananacakes alert!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

This is actually a fun game to watch.

0
litre_cola

And here I am watching sexy rower ladies.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching Olympic surfing in one screen and the soccer game on the other.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to respond with something about “sexy flower ladies” and post the Pasadena ladies that Sprague used to use at KSK, but I can’t find the image.

2
SonOfSpam

If Qatar wins does we have to become QONQAQAF?

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litre_cola

Pretty sure that is a splinter group at the Trump rally tonight.

4
Mr. Ayo

I think the bribe was only for their participation and to look the other way until the World Cup.

2
rockingdog

LOL
Padres coaches are beefing with the ump
one just got tossed

goooo Padres!

0
Doktor Zymm

At the bar, not too crowded. Got a vodka soda and probably gonna order a BLT

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Had tacos for dinner. But they were in nann and the filling was curried chicken. An Indian Mexican fusion place. Mmmmmm

2
litre_cola

Sounds delish. We are having bison tacos tomorrow night!

3
Doktor Zymm

Twins! I had a chicken korma burrito for lunch, it is a quality crossover

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Could have got it in a burrito but wanted the nann

1
litre_cola

You forgot a y in that last word – M. Chmura

4
Anthony In TX

Mine was pork loin sliders on Hawaiian rolls, but now I’m jealous of your dinner.

3
yeah right

Audrey Hepburn was quite fetching in her day. Watching Love in the Afternoon. Another Billy Wilder joint.

3
Beerguyrob

She was fetching, but also weighed 58 pounds soaking wet.

I’m sure Seamus has a Karen Carpenter joke that would go here.

2
yeah right

You are absolutely correct on that point.
Brief gust of wind and all that.

Those eyes though.

Last edited 4 years ago by yeah right
1
Horatio Cornblower

“I’m sure Seamus has a Karen Carpenter joke that would go here.”

Well it’s certainly not gonna go to the buffet.

5
Beerguyrob

There we go.

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1
Doktor Zymm

FedEx app just updated, delivery date is now ‘pending-no scheduled delivery date is available at this time’

Gonna walk over and see how busy the bar is, maybe get a burger

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We got Korean fried chicken tonight. The item we ordered was called the “director’s cut” (a perfect name for a menu item, IMO) and was covered with fruit salad. A strange topping, but not at all unpleasant.

3
Anthony In TX

There’s a national chain called Bonchon that makes outstanding Korean-style fried chicken. You can get it in a few different flavors, but splitting your order into half spicy/half soy garlic is the way to go.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[frowns]

“This is not what I ordered.”

– Jay Cutler

1
Horatio Cornblower

The cat waited until I turned my back and then stole a shrimp right out of my shrimp scampi, and didn’t even have the common decency to even pretend to feel bad about it.

Clearly a sign to get the dog walked and then proceed to start cracking open beers. Unless that little feline shit has stolen all of them, too.

6
Doktor Zymm

Smart cat, and good taste too!

3
Anthony In TX

It’s very important that you stop licking your fellow DFOers’ cats, Zymm. We’ve talked about this.

Last edited 4 years ago by Anthony In TX
4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That little scamp!

1
litre_cola

*scampi

2
BeefReeferLives

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Doktor Zymm

That thing your ordered which is supposed to take 5-6 weeks to arrive? Fat fucking chance. That’s the time frame the company gave me when I ordered windows back at the end of April and now they’re saying we will be lucky to get them before October.

Meanwhile, I’ve been waiting all day for FedEx to deliver the sofa I ordered. It is scheduled for today, but isn’t listed as out for delivery and was last scanned last night at 10:48 pm as leaving the local facility. I’m about to say fuck it and go get dinner.

2
litre_cola

Order in an curry and have some white wine!

2
Doktor Zymm

That is an excellent idea. Still need to pop out and grab some wine, all I have in the condo right now is a bunch of Model and half a bottle of rye

0
litre_cola

Well you have a chard and a red coming from Canadia next week!

1
Doktor Zymm

Looking forward to it!
I should have been clearer though, I’m in my Chicago condo right now. Sleeping on an air mattress, sitting on a folding camp chair, and woefully understocked in both the food and booze departments. That’s also why I have to be present for delivery, although I’m guessing a package that heavy probably wouldn’t get stolen immediately even in Chicago

1
yeah right

There’s a Lou Malnottis’ walking distance from you in Lincoln Park. They also have buckets of iced down Goose Island beers.

Just saying.

0
Doktor Zymm

I think that’s about a half hour walk, to the Wrightwood location, which incidentally is near where the Redacted bar used to be! Not sure I’m quite up for Chicago pizza tonight, although I could always throw the leftovers in the freezer for later… Hmm

0
yeah right

I walked there the last time I stayed in Wrigleyville. There was a really chill indoor outdoor bar along the way where we drank and played corn hole and that’s another conversation about Lincoln Park.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[doorbell rings]

DR. ZYMM: Oh good, that curry I ordered is here.

[opens door]

DR. ZYMM: [nods appreciatively]
comment image

8
Anthony In TX

To be fair, technically that IS a “good Curry.”

0
herodotus450

If the pandemic has taught us nothing else, it’s that Apple is the only company who’s competent at logistics.

0
Doktor Zymm

Apple delivers sofas? Is the only option the iSofa which only lets you sit on it if you sign in to the sofa on your iPhone?

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Now with 2 cheek authentication

4
litre_cola

Hartford up 1 nil Horatio! Yes, I have a stream and I am aware I have a futbol problem.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching right now. I like Miami’s unis.

0
litre_cola

Yours are faaaarrr better.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Well, there’s no beating the classic Whalers coloUr scheme.

2
litre_cola

Those are absolutely delicious.

2
Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees just beat the Red Sox, so I don’t think they’ll be playing the Blue Jays later tonight.

(Everyone is so glad I’m back from vacation)

1
Beerguyrob

Schedule said Yankees. Turned out, Mets.

0
litre_cola

Balls I was not aware that the Puebla beisbol team was the Parakeets!!! I mean they aren’t the Hartford Yard Goats but pretty cool.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, is that last gif from Avatar? I just started watching it and am finding it quite enjoyable.

Also here’s another suicide gif:
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1
Anthony In TX

Normally I don’t like anime-style shows, but damn is Avatar incredible. Just immaculately-written, -paced, and -animated. Enough silliness for the kids, but serious and dramatic enough for adults.

2
blaxabbath

I think it’s bullshit Biden didn’t go to Tokyo for opening ceremonies and to support US athletes, even if just for a Mike Pence Minute. Backing our Olympians and formally saying, “it’s the position of the nation that we support you and celebrate all you’ve done to get here and your performance and behavior here will be taken to heart — good or bad — because you’re representing us on the global stage,” seems like a baseline effort to reintroduce to a country in which Tucker Carlson and an anti-military Ted Cruz are filling the void anytime the chief executive doesn’t explicitly say, “I’m speaking for the nation when I say, America is rooting for our Olympic athletes and we celebrate their efforts for helping the most obese nation in history absolutely dominate the summer games.” But that’s just y two cents.

And, no, it doesn’t mean I think we should impeach Biden and install Trump so he can turn America’s fourth graders into Ashlii Babbitts, because that bitch is a dead piece of shit who got off way too easy for being such a cut rate piece of shit animal.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think it’s complicated by the fact that the Japanese public doesn’t want *anyone* to come to Tokyo for the Olympics, including the athletes. Jill is just fine as a proxy; people won’t politicize her appearance nearly as much.

2
Doktor Zymm

Dr. Biden attending not good enough?

Have past presidents attended? I really have no idea

Last edited 4 years ago by Doktor Zymm
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In 2018 the president’s daughter-wife attended, and then at the White House reception (which many athletes skipped) her [redacted] father said something completely [redacted]:

But all of a sudden, those crowds got very, very big, very powerful, and it became a very, very successful Olympics aside from everything else. They had a lot more people show up than they thought. And you think you know why, right?”

1
Anthony In TX

About 75% of the bullshit that spews from that orange asshole’s face is the sort of stuff that would land most septuagenarians in an old-folks home. And literally millions of people just buy into everything he says, regardless of how stupid, immature, ridiculous, obviously false, egomaniacal, or just plain silly it is.

4
BeefReeferLives

Not sure, but I imagine that it might also be part of a “Joe ain’t got no time to golf, Joe’s got shit to do – For The American People(tm)” kinda push…
(&\or maybe he’s having “Bachin’ It Nite” in the WH basement with his crew)

0
blaxabbath

How are most nations handling fielding Gold Cup and Olympics squads this summer?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

The Olympic squads are always Under 23 players with the exception of 3 players of any age.

0
blaxabbath

Oh so the rosters sort of shakes themselves out considerably by this age filler. That’s cool.

2
Anthony In TX

This is the high-quality sportz analysis and information we come to DFO for.

1
Mr. Ayo

Sound like my dating life.

2
litre_cola

As for the Coupe D’Or up here, Lille would not let Johnathan David play in a bullshit tourney and Alphonso Davies got a little owie so Bayern said NEIN!

They will be back when the totally no slavery Qatar World Cup octo qualifier starts again.

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