2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: Second Round, Day 3

I believe we’re still owed a region of results before we move onto today’s portion of the bracket. Your BOLTMAN Region first round results:

16. “THESE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS I CALL THEM ROBERT MULDOON, BECAUSE THEY GOT EATEN ALIVE BY THE RAPTORS.” BEATS 1. “[Is] there also a Cripso’s on another corner in Compton?” 21-13

And with that, Bludso’s Barbecue can rest comfortably, knowing that they are the supreme barbecue place in Compton. Even though Cripso’s never existed. This is truly a moment. And it was never really in doubt!

9. “‘Punch and Pie’ perfectly encapsulates Johnny Manziel’s philosophy on dating.” beats 8. “Just think what Dan Snyder could do with the name ‘Redblacks.’” 18-16

5. “No problem.… I’m a Bengals fan, Buckeyes fan, and Moderate Republican. I’m used to be taken in the backdoor.” beats 12. “Kicking zebras are the number one cause of Lion concussions.” 25-8

13. “I haven’t seen a group of Saudis go down in flames like this since 9/11” beats 4. “The Gang Wins a Game” 25-8

Senor Picks Good Upper Seeds

11. “I’ve got Rivers on the bench for FF, which just goes to show you that, like Rivers himself, you should never pull him out.” beats 6. “The closed captioning on the bar tv just implied Janay Rice was hitting in the celebrity softball game. I thought it was the other way around.” 24-13

3. “Wow, free porn?!?!?!? Are they also giving away a free email address and 40 hours of AOL?” beats 14. “Wow. I always knew AJ Green would snap and attack someone. But I always thought it would be Andy Dalton or Marvin Lewis.” 23-15

10. “I haven’t been this anxious for a period to start since a broken condom scare junior year of high school.” beats 7. “if you take a bunch of tires, put them in a dumpster, and set them on fire, would you describe it as a dumpster fire or a tire fire, or should I just keep calling it the [Redacteds]?” 22-12

2. “I’ll take one poster, a beer coozy, a bottle opener, and a pack of HRTN condoms – because nothing says ‘appropriate DFO branding’ like a condom named ‘Hard Ride to Nowhere.’” beats 15. “I have picked up and put down Infinite Jest so many times that I now have tennis elbow.” 24-10

Anyway, already onto the GAMBLOR Region’s second round. So that’s nice.

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Vote, and listen to fast things!