We got a big one going tonight, so let’s get started. We’ll start off with the lesser important stuff.
NCAA Tournament Action: It’s the Flacco Eight! Winners move to the Wrongly-Named Four.
West Regional Final: #1 Gonzaga vs. #3 Texas Tech (6:09 Eastern, TBS)
South Regional Final: #1 Virginia vs. #3 Purdue (8:49 Eastern, TBS)
Didn’t the Flacco Eight use to be on CBS? What’s going to be on instead? (Probably an episode of Young Sheldon, because.)
Other Sports
Women’s NCAA Tournament: Chi**** Regional Semifinal, #2 Stanford vs. #11 Missouri State (6:00, ESPN2)
UFC: People fighting on ESPN, don’t ask me who (started already)
Boxing: Other people fighting on ESPN, still don’t ask me who (10:00, ESPN)
NBA: Raptors @ Bulls (8:00, TSN)
MLB: Giants @ Padres (8:40, FS1)
Okay, unimportant stuff over. Tonight a championship is fought over. But let’s go to the results to see what will square off. Your Penultimate Four results!
1BL. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” beats 2G. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” 32-13
4S. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” beats 13BO. “I haven’t seen a group of Saudis go down in flames like this since 9/11” 26-19
And now it is time for the championship.
Yes, we actually did get “Sweet Victory.” Now, CHOOSE YOUR CHAMPION!
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.You have until 10:59:59 PM DFO time TOMORROW, March 31st, because that’s 23:59:59 here on the East Coast. So it’s still March when it ends. When you next hear from me, we’ll know the winner and the authors of each banner quote.
Pretty sure I wrote both of these and if I am not revealed as the author then this entire bracket and voting system is illegitimate.
Donald?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX6kOC_4Zyw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8g0IeQnFSY
Hey, yeahright, does el segundo brewing can yet?
Yes. Not all of their beers but some. They also have 6 packs of 12 ounces in bottles.
So pour out a sip in honor of the plant version of Ethel Kennedy, who was lobotomized yesterday.
(whoops I mean Rosemary. It’s very potent; clearly I’m still incapacitated more than 24 hours after handling the buds)
Just like John.
JFK really earned that pernament vacation to Secret Rich Island to nail Marilyn Monroe every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
I thought it was his sister who got their brains scrambled?
America: A Perfectly normal country. During an active shooter drill, four teachers at a time were taken into a room, told to crouch down and were shot execution style with some sort of projectiles – resulting in injuries to the extent that welts appeared, and blood was drawn.Then they were told that this is what would happen if they cowered.
https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/21/active-shooter-training-for-schools-teachers-shot-with-plastic-pellets/3231103002/?fbclid=IwAR1fZB3eL31bvWVDGjprp8nyoNpxLrWjmn78OozAxnpoOTX4vNuHywnTRoA
Man is it just me or does everything about indiana suck except my hometown and Bloomington?
No. Everything about it sucks.
Florida del Norte?
Fun fact:
All of the big division I schools in Indiana have a combined 5 NCAA tournament victories. ?
Hickory High had one, so who were the other four?
Some other team named Hoosiers
My high school freshman P.E. teacher was on the 1940 Indiana U NCAA championship team and was All American in 1942. If he didn’t like what a freshman boy was doing he would just whack you in the side of the head.
Ah yes the 1940 team
Or as my grandpa referred to as, when people from Indiana ACTUALLY FUCKING WENT TO IU
Did I miss the end of this game by like 5 minutes or something?
Apparently? It’s been over for a while now.
Oh, okay. Thanks. For some reason it feels like it just ended.
Both contestants in the final very much belong there.
My facebook feed is so fucking quiet i can hear crickets
Your ass survives this round twbs
Edwards announcing he’s going pro before he even gets to the locker room
Good
Didn’t realize Chris Webber was the color guy until he called for a commercial break he didn’t have.
I love that he had a numb expression before he even dropped to his knees.
I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE WORK!!!!
Doesn’t explain the boner.
Well Purdue just fucked that chicken.
Yes they did
Pre-basting dinner.
When I am elected Evil Overlord for Life: all basketball players will have two steps when attempting a shot on the basket. Not three. Not four. And not 12 like that player did.
If they say they need more steps to fly to the basket, they will be spliced with hummingbird wings and thrown out of a 84-floor window.
TWO-HANDED SET SHOTS FOR SOME, BRISK CHEST PASSES FOR OTHERS.
I KNEW I shoulda kept all those peach baskets.
– Mrs. Andy Reid, after having made enough peach cobbler to get her husband to stop pestering her.
This haarms dude is rapidly becoming my go to example of “white guy who does things a black guy would get criticized for”.
whiite priivilege
All you gotta do is rearrange one letter and you get Harams smh
Why the fuck is the announcer rooting so hard for purdue?
White privilege?
First thing haarms did after whiffing a game winning block was adjust his stupid hair
He just wanted his bangs out of haarms way
COME ON UNDECUPLE OVERTIME!!!!!!!!!!!
No one else but me cares here (in my place place), BUT HOLY HELL
I care. I demand boilermaker tears
Edit above.
I don’t follow…
FREE BASKETBALL!!!
Bonus cantos!