Your 2019 Banner Tournament Championship and Flacco Eight Saturday Evening Open Thread

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

We got a big one going tonight, so let’s get started. We’ll start off with the lesser important stuff.

NCAA Tournament Action: It’s the Flacco Eight! Winners move to the Wrongly-Named Four.
West Regional Final: #1 Gonzaga vs. #3 Texas Tech (6:09 Eastern, TBS)
South Regional Final: #1 Virginia vs. #3 Purdue (8:49 Eastern, TBS)

Didn’t the Flacco Eight use to be on CBS? What’s going to be on instead? (Probably an episode of Young Sheldon, because.)

Other Sports
Women’s NCAA Tournament: Chi**** Regional Semifinal, #2 Stanford vs. #11 Missouri State (6:00, ESPN2)
UFC: People fighting on ESPN, don’t ask me who (started already)
Boxing: Other people fighting on ESPN, still don’t ask me who (10:00, ESPN)
NBA: Raptors @ Bulls (8:00, TSN)
MLB: Giants @ Padres (8:40, FS1)

Okay, unimportant stuff over. Tonight a championship is fought over. But let’s go to the results to see what will square off. Your Penultimate Four results!

1BL. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” beats 2G. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” 32-13

4S. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” beats 13BO. “I haven’t seen a group of Saudis go down in flames like this since 9/11” 26-19

And now it is time for the championship.

Yes, we actually did get “Sweet Victory.” Now, CHOOSE YOUR CHAMPION!

The 2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament Championship!

  • 1BL. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” (65%, 33 Votes)
  • 4S. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” (35%, 18 Votes)

Total Voters: 51

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You have until 10:59:59 PM DFO time TOMORROW, March 31st, because that’s 23:59:59 here on the East Coast. So it’s still March when it ends. When you next hear from me, we’ll know the winner and the authors of each banner quote.

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nighyeah rightblaxabbathALXMACBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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blaxabbath

Pretty sure I wrote both of these and if I am not revealed as the author then this entire bracket and voting system is illegitimate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Donald?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, yeahright, does el segundo brewing can yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Yes. Not all of their beers but some. They also have 6 packs of 12 ounces in bottles.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So pour out a sip in honor of the plant version of Ethel Kennedy, who was lobotomized yesterday.

(whoops I mean Rosemary. It’s very potent; clearly I’m still incapacitated more than 24 hours after handling the buds)

SonOfSpam

Just like John.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

JFK really earned that pernament vacation to Secret Rich Island to nail Marilyn Monroe every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Brocky

I thought it was his sister who got their brains scrambled?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

America: A Perfectly normal country. During an active shooter drill, four teachers at a time were taken into a room, told to crouch down and were shot execution style with some sort of projectiles – resulting in injuries to the extent that welts appeared, and blood was drawn.Then they were told that this is what would happen if they cowered.

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/21/active-shooter-training-for-schools-teachers-shot-with-plastic-pellets/3231103002/?fbclid=IwAR1fZB3eL31bvWVDGjprp8nyoNpxLrWjmn78OozAxnpoOTX4vNuHywnTRoA

Brocky

Man is it just me or does everything about indiana suck except my hometown and Bloomington?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

No. Everything about it sucks.

blaxabbath

Florida del Norte?

Brocky

Fun fact:

All of the big division I schools in Indiana have a combined 5 NCAA tournament victories. 😀

SonOfSpam

Hickory High had one, so who were the other four?

Brocky

Some other team named Hoosiers

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

My high school freshman P.E. teacher was on the 1940 Indiana U NCAA championship team and was All American in 1942. If he didn’t like what a freshman boy was doing he would just whack you in the side of the head.

Brocky

Ah yes the 1940 team

Or as my grandpa referred to as, when people from Indiana ACTUALLY FUCKING WENT TO IU

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did I miss the end of this game by like 5 minutes or something?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Apparently? It’s been over for a while now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, okay. Thanks. For some reason it feels like it just ended.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Both contestants in the final very much belong there.

Brocky

My facebook feed is so fucking quiet i can hear crickets

Brocky

Your ass survives this round twbs

Gratliff

Edwards announcing he’s going pro before he even gets to the locker room

Brocky

Good

SonOfSpam

Didn’t realize Chris Webber was the color guy until he called for a commercial break he didn’t have.

Gratliff

I love that he had a numb expression before he even dropped to his knees.

Redshirt

I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE WORK!!!!

SonOfSpam

Doesn’t explain the boner.

Redshirt

When I am elected Evil Overlord for Life: all basketball players will have two steps when attempting a shot on the basket. Not three. Not four. And not 12 like that player did.

If they say they need more steps to fly to the basket, they will be spliced with hummingbird wings and thrown out of a 84-floor window.

SonOfSpam

TWO-HANDED SET SHOTS FOR SOME, BRISK CHEST PASSES FOR OTHERS.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I KNEW I shoulda kept all those peach baskets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Mrs. Andy Reid, after having made enough peach cobbler to get her husband to stop pestering her.

Brocky

This haarms dude is rapidly becoming my go to example of “white guy who does things a black guy would get criticized for”.

SonOfSpam

whiite priivilege

herodotus450
herodotus450

All you gotta do is rearrange one letter and you get Harams smh

Brocky

Why the fuck is the announcer rooting so hard for purdue?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

White privilege?

Brocky

First thing haarms did after whiffing a game winning block was adjust his stupid hair

SonOfSpam

He just wanted his bangs out of haarms way

Redshirt

COME ON UNDECUPLE OVERTIME!!!!!!!!!!!

WCS

No one else but me cares here (in my place place), BUT HOLY HELL

Brocky

I care. I demand boilermaker tears

WCS

Edit above.

Brocky

I don’t follow…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

FREE BASKETBALL!!!