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We got a big one going tonight, so let’s get started. We’ll start off with the lesser important stuff.
NCAA Tournament Action: It’s the Flacco Eight! Winners move to the Wrongly-Named Four.
West Regional Final: #1 Gonzaga vs. #3 Texas Tech (6:09 Eastern, TBS)
South Regional Final: #1 Virginia vs. #3 Purdue (8:49 Eastern, TBS)
Didn’t the Flacco Eight use to be on CBS? What’s going to be on instead? (Probably an episode of Young Sheldon, because.)
Women’s NCAA Tournament: Chi**** Regional Semifinal, #2 Stanford vs. #11 Missouri State (6:00, ESPN2)
UFC: People fighting on ESPN, don’t ask me who (started already)
Boxing: Other people fighting on ESPN, still don’t ask me who (10:00, ESPN)
NBA: Raptors @ Bulls (8:00, TSN)
MLB: Giants @ Padres (8:40, FS1)
Okay, unimportant stuff over. Tonight a championship is fought over. But let’s go to the results to see what will square off. Your Penultimate Four results!
1BL. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” beats 2G. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” 32-13
4S. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” beats 13BO. “I haven’t seen a group of Saudis go down in flames like this since 9/11” 26-19
And now it is time for the championship.
Yes, we actually did get “Sweet Victory.” Now, CHOOSE YOUR CHAMPION!
The 2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament Championship!
- 1BL. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” (65%, 33 Votes)
- 4S. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” (35%, 18 Votes)
Total Voters: 51
You have until 10:59:59 PM DFO time TOMORROW, March 31st, because that’s 23:59:59 here on the East Coast. So it’s still March when it ends. When you next hear from me, we’ll know the winner and the authors of each banner quote.