Your Victoria Day Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

As I repeat every Victoria Day:

Under Canadian law, the date is reserved in anniversary of the birth of the monarch. A national commemoration dating from the time of Queen Victoria, an amendment to the Statutes of Canada in 1952 established the celebration of Victoria Day on the Monday preceding May 25. It was renamed Journée nationale des patriotes in Quebec in 2002, commemorating the struggle of Louis-David Papineau and his patriotes to establish “Responsible Government” in Lower Canada.

Whatever – it’s the unofficial start of summer in Canada, meaning it’s officially tolerable to talk about fucking off to a cabin/lake/golf resort on weekends and not feel like an elitist dick. After Labour Day, you’re a snob again.


NFL News:

  • The [Redacteds] are off to a cursed start to their OTAs, as Reuben Foster got himself a knee injury minutes into the first activity.
    • Foster was claimed off waivers after the Niners released him following domestic violence charges. The charges were later dropped because of witness non-cooperation.
      • If he had started the season, he was not suspended but was fined two game cheques.
By rights, the bag could also be labeled “evidence”.
  • Proving white QBs can catch breaks, the Colts have signed Jim Kelly’s nephew Chad Kelly.
    • He will compete with Jacoby Brissett to be Andrew Luck’s clipboard holder.
    • A sure coincidence is that Colts head coach Frank Reich was Jim Kelly’s teammate back in Buffalo.
  • Florida prosecutors were in court appealing against suppression of video evidence in the Robert Kraft case.
    • To quote ESPN, “Kraft’s elite legal team argued successfully during a hearing earlier this month that police did not avoid recording legal activity inside the spa, and that Kraft and other clients had a right to expect privacy inside the facility.”
    • If the appeals court upholds the suppression, it would end the case against Kraft and the other 24 defendants.
  • Ezekiel Elliott got himself cuffed but not charged at a music festival in Las Vegas on the weekend.
    • He shoved a security guard, but the incident was later called an “overreaction” by the security outfit.
    • On a different note – a Dallas Cowboy wearing a LeBron James Lakers jersey? Zeke is this truck in human form.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • no game; Boston awaits the West winner
  • CHL:
    • Memorial Cup : Rouyn-Noranda vs. Prince Albert – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Trail Blazers – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLB:
    • no national broadcasts, only MLBN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the fallout from “Money In The Bank”, or “The More Things Change,…”

So, I gather everyone has feelings about the “Game of Thrones” conclusion?

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick MeathookALXMACUnsurprisedBrettFavresColonoscopyLow Commander of the Super Soldiers Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My softball team was destroyed tonight and eliminated from the playoffs. It’s like January came early.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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The Padres are back to .500 and now it’s time for scotch and 60 Minutes and yes I do feel very old for my age.

yeah right

Quick question for our Portland contingent: when you first move to Portland and sign your mortgage paper, or rental agreement, are you automatically gifted a puffy jacket, tattoo and a plaid flannel shirt?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I had the puffy jacket and plaid flannel jacket from when I lived in Salem. No tattoo, though.

yeah right

Will accept but step up your tattoo game son!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m good. There’s nothing I care about enough that I’d etch a symbol of it on my skin. I don’t even like wearing watches.

I guess you could say instead of tattoos I just have a lot of extra weight. That’s the expression of who I am.

yeah right

Now while I do sport a sizable number of tattoos I share your sentiment on “bling.” I wear no watch or any jewelry. I have no intention of making myself a target.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I have no tattoos but a kick-ass collection of watches!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No joke, I just booked a hotel for a work trip to Portland and there was a “tattoo package” offering

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We suck

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

At least there’s lots of beer and a cannabis delivery service.

Gratliff

Was going to be working out tonight and then someone pointed out that Twitch has a free karaoke game that I fell into and apparently that was 4 hours ago. Anyway, that reminds me of another guilty pleasure track from high school: Robbie Williams’ version of Angels. And now I’m mad all over again at Jessica Simpson’s terrible cover of it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I hope ML smashes.
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Senor Weaselo

It’s like “Eh, we’re bored” and then GS stomps whoever.

Senor Weaselo

I think it hit Klay’s arm last as it rolled away.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I think it doesn’t matter. GS is winning this game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Should be GS ball.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Maybe? Hard to say.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, I’m wrong. Ir did graze his arm.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Portland: Dead meat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m no fan of GS, but how was that not a foul?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

David Stern demands a game 5

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Adam Silver is apparently no longer taking his calls.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t quite eat both of the pork tenderloins, but I ate half of each one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to show you how to make NC BBQ in the crock pot. Tenderloins ftw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Xtra Baxsetballing!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Curry with the Harden step back. lolol

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’d like a True Lies sequel, but this could be worth something. I doubt it, but maybe.

https://www.slashfilm.com/true-lies-tv-series-disney/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel so much pity for home crowds whose team builds a 17 point second half lead against the Warriors in a game the Warriors want to win.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This would hurt if I cared about the Blazers

blaxabbath

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Goddammit Ziggy.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He’s had a long, hard day at the power plant.
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Senor Weaselo

And now for nerdery. (Basically just for… Gratliff I think?)
Good news: Pent is finally in Fire Emblem Heroes!
Bad news: …As a seasonal groom unit. And still no Louise. AND STILL NO ANNA ALTS.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I don’t think I’ll ever get into Fire Emblem, but hey, I learned somethin’.

Senor Weaselo

Also I was wrong, Louise is the “free” unit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is the crowd chanting “Meyer Lemon”?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

We have had a rash of people leaving my company, starting with my boss’s boss last Friday, one of our main engineers today and another friend, who all gave 1 week notices, which I guess is a thing. I found out at the end of the day that my best friend there just got an offer too for a much better job, and while I am unbelievably happy for her, I am really going to miss seeing her everyday. Her boss is one of the worst people I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing, and her department is capital FUCKED without my friend around and her counterpart leaving too, so that will be very entertaining to watch in the near future.

I am quite looking forward to her giving notice tomorrow. Artist’s conception:

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Senor Weaselo

Is tWBS the guy screaming at Camden Yards?

theeWeeBabySeamus

He will be on Wednesday. He might even get nekkid and streak across centerfield and get violently tackled. We’ll see how it goes.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Later that day on DFO when Seamus needs a lawyer:

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Col. Duke LaCross
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That sucks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Our refrigerator stopped running today, so tonight I am forced to grill up a pair of pork tenderloins.

SonOfSpam

“GOD DAMMIT!!!”

– prank callers who reach Rikki tonight

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Our refrigerator stopped running today

How far did it get? HI-YOHHHHHH!!!

/loud sustained audience laughter and applause

SonOfSpam

Evening gents. Just wanted to wish myself a feliz 24th wedding anniversary and tell all you single guys that there’s no hope for any of you since the last gullible woman has been off the market a while.

Hugs!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think you’re getting the “most” gullible woman confused with the “last” gullible woman.

King Hippo

before the Jeopardy Groupie appeal wore off

SonOfSpam

Um….those exist????????????

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hell yeah they do.” – Watson, surrounded by Japanese sex robots

King Hippo

Alex Trebek? That guy FUCKS, man

SonOfSpam

You know it.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Fair.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Going out. If I don’t return, avenge my death.

Also, this is good dancing. https://giant.gfycat.com/GrimConcreteFurseal.mp4

SonOfSpam

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LemonJello
LemonJello

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think old conservatives get confused when they watch Red Dawn now that we’ve decided to be such good pals with Russia?

SonOfSpam

The remake of Red Dawn will have Californians invading The Bible Belt.

LemonJello
LemonJello

They probably get the weirdest* boners watching this movie.

*well, weirder than normal, I suppose

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
me: give that girl over there a drink on me. my usual

bartender: ok [hands her a drink]

her: *giving the glass of milk back to him* no

Senor Weaselo

So Senorita Weaselo saw this on the ferry, and then it deflated and it looked like “a giant pink saggy used condom.” Her words.
http://gothamist.com/2019/05/20/flamingo_river_nyc.php

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Astute. Accurate.

SonOfSpam

I mean, she apparently has seen giant used condoms before, so congratulations!

rockingdog
rockingdog

gooooo DUBS!!!! comment image

yeah right

Yes but as the Canadian 3 day weekend is coming to a close we have ours at the end of this week.

So much grillage.

SonOfSpam

That’s we how salute those killed in action. Cooking dead flesh.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Linked because you need to see the whole thing and not the loop cycling in the comments.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

Jesus fuck, JA Happ sucks.

SonOfSpam

Little known fact: J.A. stands for Just Awful.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Would you like a Werther’s Original caramel hard candy? There’s some in the bowl.

Help yourself.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Damn, they’re letting Darren Sharper get online in prison now?

Senor Weaselo
theeWeeBabySeamus