Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
- Request Line: Names, Names, Names! – July 19, 2019
- Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 8 (The Morning After) – July 12, 2019
- Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 7 (Pillow Talk) – July 5, 2019
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
ABBY MANNING releases DANIEL JONES’ wrist and he steps back, rubbing it. At that moment…
— [door flies open] —
ELI MANNING: …so about those pizza rolls…
ELI: Oh, hey Abby.
ABBY: Hello, Eli. [looks at him more closely] Eli, what’s going on with your eyes? Did you catch pinkeye again?
ELI: [nervously] No no, I just, uh…I got something in my eye and was rubbing it.
ABBY: Both eyes?
ELI: Uh, yeah. I accidentally sprayed, uh, cologne on my face.
ABBY: [smiles knowingly] Trying to be your best for all the ladies, eh?
Everything in the kitchen is silent for a moment.
ELI: So…just gonna get some pizza rolls.
ABBY: Sounds good, kiddo. You help yourself.
As ELI takes a step towards the refrigerator, DANIEL sidles over to him and speaks softly in his ear.
DANIEL: Abby can tell.
DANIEL: Abby can tell how high you are. She can tell how high you are and she’s gonna tell your brother and he’s gonna tell your mom and then you’re gonna be grounded. Probably for like two whole months.
ELI: I’m not…wait…am I high? Is this what being high is like? [looks at ABBY] Can she…can she hear us?
ELI: Oh man oh man oh man…
DANIEL: And it’s even worse than that. You see, Eli, you and me, we’re just figments of Abby’s imagination.
DANIEL: She’s asleep right now. She’s having a pretty ordinary dream, and the two of us are characters in her dream, and as soon as she leaves the room, you and I are going to cease to exist.
ELI: [freaked out] No…
DANIEL: Yes. Sweet oblivion awaits.
ABBY: [has finally had enough] Okay, okay, that’s enough, Daniel, stop fucking with him. You’re making him paranoid. Eli.
ABBY: Eli, look at me.
ELI: [refuses to make eye contact] You’re gonna yell at me.
ABBY: No I’m not, Eli.
ELI: [finally looks at her]
ABBY: You’re going to be fine, Eli. You’re just a little high. What did you take?
ABBY: [to Daniel] What did you give him, you asshole, and how much did he have?
DANIEL: [giggling] Just some CBD gummies. He’ll be fine.
ABBY: How many?
DANIEL: I don’t know, like a dozen?
ABBY: Jesus. Welp, Eli, looks like you’re gonna be riding high for a little while.
ELI is now staring at the refrigerator, eyes glazed.
ABBY: Let’s get your stomach settled, at least. I guess I’d better give you a hand with those pizza rolls so you we don’t end up with the fire department showing up. Again.
Today’s topic is FEAR. Should be pretty straightforward, and there’s no limit, so go wild! Sorry for my absence, I was sicker than I can remember being in the last ten years. If only I had known the “t” in “tWBS” stands for “typhoid”.