Your Franchise Tagged Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob


NFL Nuggets:

The big news of the day is that today is the day Franchise Tagged players have to sign the multi-year deals they were offered, or they get a one-year deal under the tag.

  • Here are the standards, according to nfl.com:

Players may sign the tender at any point after officially being tagged. Until the tender is inked, the team can rescind the franchise or transition tag. Once the sheet is signed, the player’s salary is guaranteed for that season. If a player does not sign the tender, they remain without a contract, and therefore are not subject to fine schedules for skipping offseason workouts (as we saw with Le’Veon Bell last year). A player who has not signed the tender can also not be traded.

  • If they refuse to sign the deal, the holdout unofficially begins.
    • It officially begins the first day of training camp.
  • There are three players awaiting signature or resolution:

Meanwhile,

I agree with Spilly,


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Phillies – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Blue Jays at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA Summer League Basketball:
    • The Championship: Grizzlies vs. T-wolves – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN3
  • World Series of Poker
    • 2019 Main Event Final Table Continues – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Brock Lesnar is once again your Universal Heavyweight Champion

It’s back to the grind, people. Training camps open … this week for rookies?! IT’S ALMOST BACK!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Please Login to comment
18 Comment threads
29 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
13 Comment authors
Brick MeathookSenor WeaseloBrettFavresColonoscopyRikki-Tikki-DeadlyDon T Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Darkest Timeline Joe Flacco looks like a hobo, the kind that kills other hobos.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When a cashier screws up and forgets to charge Darkest Timeline Joe Flacco for something, he quietly laughs to himself and mutters “sucker” before walking away without correcting their mistake.

Don T

I met a lady and she’s so fine I’m taking salsa lessons. If all goes well, the Titans better suck.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve never had luck taking lessons from a teacher for a lady.

Better to get her to teach you instead of getting a teacher. She’s the one you’ll be dancing with anyway.

Don T

My second step needs work. So I’ll take ANY help.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Step 1) salsa lessons
Step 3) sexy time

We all need work on our second step

Senor Weaselo

Steal underpants?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I made avocado toast for dinner. In my defense, it started as a sandwich.

blaxabbath

I feel like 2019 Joe Flacco is ready to take another D2 National Championship.

Change my mind.

Senor Weaselo

It’s hot and I just ate an entire thing of Annie’s mac and cheese (used slightly too much milk). How are things, lizard people?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey I did that last night. It did not end well for me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My whole fucking body hurts

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I stopped listening to chapo a while ago but I had to listen to yesterday’s because their safari adventures are usually fun. This better not suck.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Even the cranks are out of ideas.

Oh, God. This is going to be Hell. It’s about a meeting of liberals, who are as bloodless as Al Davis the year before he descended to Hell.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

The “NSA stole my penis” line cracked me up.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, this episode is just depressing. I remember Daily Kos at its apex in 2003. I didn’t go further left. The Dems have gone to the right of Reagan, who was already right of Nixon.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

What was more depressing was having people explicitly acknowledging the actual problems but just shrugging when it came to doing something about them.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Okay, the idea of Stav moderating a panel naked (of course) made me stop from throwing my bluetooth speaker out the window.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I tuned out for a bit when they irony poisoned themselves into liking Marianne Williamson who is just another Oprah-created revenue generator.

herodotus450
herodotus450
scotchnaut

Me: [bragging] “We have *by far* the best distribution network within our region!”

Multi-National Corporation: “We’ve heard good things about you. We’d like you to submit a detailed proposal outlining how you’d be able to distribute our product within your network. Total sales would be low 8 figures.”

Me: [shits pants]

herodotus450
herodotus450

You: “Product comes in, I distribute it. Next question.”

scotchnaut

You’re killing me! I had just this sort of experience back in 2010 when a multi-national came crawling back to me after they tried to set up their own distribution in my area and failed badly.

Me: “You’ll be back here in a year asking me to do your job for you.”

Them: [50 weeks later] “Uh, little help?”

/I’m not an arrogant guy, I just know the challenges involved

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Now, let’s talk about how your money, is going to distribute itself into my wallet.” You can have that one for free.

SonOfSpam

Scotchnaut: “Um, can I have some money now?”

scotchnaut

Way better than my final pitch-“Trucks go ‘vroom’, very loud, make ears hurt. I have seashells for pay? Or maybe big blanket to cuddle with?”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Need a general counsel?

SonOfSpam

He can barely afford a lieutenant counsel.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’ll be private counsel for $40

SonOfSpam

Like the Tina Turner song.

“…counsel for money, and any old lawsuit will do”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

comment image

herodotus450
herodotus450

I can see Prime day on the 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, or 13th, but the 15th?

SonOfSpam

Also, the 2nd ppl forget that smdh

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

And those idiots that think it should be on the 1st.

scotchnaut

-Matty Matheson

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Man we’re not that far from having football back, are we?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Arthur Blank is as good as his word.

Unless you ask his first two wives…

scotchnaut

“We’ll take ‘infidelity’ for at least half of his total fortune, Alex.”

-Arthur Blank’s ex-wives

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Meanwhile in the original timeline…
JOE FLACCO: I wonder if a darkest timeline version of me would drink :shudder: chocolate milk

herodotus450
herodotus450

I keep hitting myself trying to kill a fly that’s in my house; it’s getting so bad you’d think Chris Brown was just here.

scotchnaut

In the darkest timeline, Jeff Goldblum beats the shit out of Chris Brown.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s the Just Timeline

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Darkest Timeline Joe Flacco pours Tapatio in his eyes when he wakes up each morning, just so he can feel something.

SonOfSpam

“Gotta try that.”

– Derek Carr, jerking/crying to Joy Division

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Darkest Timeline Joe Flacco pounds a bottle of rubbing alcohol at the bar and then calls you a pussy when you ask him if he’s alright.

scotchnaut

[tries to paint The Starry Night, fails] “I hate this darkest timeline!”

-Van Gogh

SonOfSpam

At least he doesn’t need sunglasses in the darkest timeline.