There’s a Sirius XM station that is completely dedicated to fantasy but there are no women on it (that I have heard). So you know what that means-men screeching at the top of their lungs about how much they love those big and fast Men In Pads. I’ll do my usual ticking off of the tilts on offer tonight and tell you what I’ve gleaned by listening to these fellas that like to holler. TO THE GAMES!
Hou/Dal:
No one likes Lamar Miller and everyone was disappointed on the news that D’Onta Foreman was IR’ed. Everyone lines up on the side of management with respect to the Zeke Elliot Debacle. One guy called the whole situation, and I quote, “uppity”. Wow. Oh, btw, they will all be taking him third or fourth if they have the opportunity.
Chi/Ind:
The 5’6″, 180 pound Tarik Cohen is getting no love at all except as a PPR play. Mike Davis, who has 37 pounds on Tarik isn’t liked by anyone either. All the love is centered on rook David Montgomery.
N.O/NYJ:
Kamara is the consensus #2 behind Saquon. No one expects Latavius Murray to fill the stat sheet the way Ingram did last year but the talkers lament the fact that they have to grab Murray later because he’s the handcuff. The collective wisdom states that Jared Cook will go on a tear like Jimmy Graham did way long ago.
S.F./K.C.:
If Jimmy G doesn’t show out tonight he’ll fall even further down the rankings. (is there that much more to go?) That tidbit of him throwing 5 straight picks in practice has gained a lot of traction. Also, the bloom is off the rose as far as Damien Williams is concerned. Many are stating that he’s over-ranked.
Broncs/Rams:
Courtland Sutton is getting all the love-the logic being that he’ll take the second-year jump with the help of a competent qb. I didn’t hear a single Jake Butt joke.
Sea/LAC:
Chris Carson is gaining traction after an initial crush on Rashaad Penney slowly dissipated. Hunter Henry is set to go second among the second tier of te’s, right after Evan Engram.
Aside from this stuff there’s some baseball and a college football game! Entertain yourselves as you see fit, as usual. And if there are any reprobates from last year skulking about, give us a little hello to let us know you’re back on board when the games get all ‘real’ and stuff.
I had a perfect comment. But no one is here so I refrained.
Not wasps!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBOhQamGGuI
Jesus Christ this helicopter has been circling over my house for the length of two full episodes of Chernobyl.
Not at all a metaphor for your life.
It was weird because it was the episode where they were using helicopters to drop sand and at times I couldn’t tell which was which.
That’s one of the scariest shows I’ve ever watched. even when all done up for Hollywood to think it’s based on a real event.
And the use of the Geiger counter sound at the end of the show always gave me goosebumps
I know Colts fans are understandably upset about Andrew Luck’s retirement from football and it’s a very emotional time for them, but it’s important to remember that David Koch is dead and will soon be six feet underground, becoming compost to feed into the cycle of life on earth that he so desperately tried to ruin.
May he rest in piss forever.
I, for one, love DIEt Koch.
Good night bitches and bitchettes, which is possibly similar to a baguette
Sunday Gravy teaser? Tune in tomorrow morning to find out!
And yes, I just ordered 100 1.5″ rubber ducks.
For “research”?
I get in earlier than anyone else on my team. I’m gonna hide them EVERYWHERE in/on people’s desks
That workplace is going to become a madhouse of duck squeaking.
Great job. Guaranteed promotion.
4 containers are lost off ships every day. In 1992, a container of Rubber Duckies was lost. THIS is the story of those duckies. DUN DUN DUN!
Damn you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8
So…..you probably don’t want me to link to the techno remix?
Quite the opposite! Link away!
It’s German! https://youtu.be/sCid7BkRdbE
das ist gut
Barnacles have the largest penis to body ratio of any animal
— Cuttlefish
I’m in Iceland for 1.5 days in Jan….I was just going to go to the Blue Lagoon, but I bet I have time to go to the Icelandic Phallological Museum
“I would like a grande whale milk latte please”
Gather all the baggies. We still got another 6+ hours.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK4ec9SYFdM
How can you tell when you need a new mattress? I think I don’t, I’ve just seen too many mattress commercials, BUT WHAT IF I’M WRONG AND MY BED EATS ME
Did someone say…. bed that eats?
https://youtu.be/01l1WIC9mBo
https://youtu.be/01l1WIC9mBo
Or…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01l1WIC9mBo
400!
When did this turn into a Houston live thread?
Don’t kid yourself; what that cat is doing is the equivalent of me checking the meat thermometer to make sure the roast is done.
I don’t Twitterr. How many people have noticed that “Suck” “Luck” and “Fuck”, or possibly “Cuck” all rhyme?
Well #pewdiepie is trending right now, so you’ve made a wise life choice.
The tubby 4th guy on Ghost Adventures is crying in the dark. It appears he ghosts wont communicate with him
Bothered by the fact that the kid in episode 2 is playing a gameboy color even though the Gameboy Advance had been out for 4 years at that point
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2019/08/24/your-no-injuries-no-injuries-no-injuries-saturday-night-open-thread/comment-page-3/#comment-680428
Does wine prevent scurvy? I’m gonna go with yes.
I, for one, have partaken of wine and do not currently have scurvy. Ergo, yes.
Fucking science man; you can’t argue with it.
GLOW season 3 was lacking
So in addition to doing my open water diver cert, I’m also re-obtaining my motorcycle license and taking some additional handgun training in the next couple months. I’m not out of line in feeling SUPER badass, am I? What if I wear a wet suit on a private jet to Las Vegas? Too much?
Are you an organ donor? And are your organs in good shape?
If so, proceed.
Just remember, the Spartans put up a hell of a fight at Thermopylae, but they DID all die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJGglf38RMU
This ain’t Hot Rod magazine, pal.
So in unrelated unsexy news, my dad got attacked by fucking yellow jackets right before the game started.
I got home, noticed him riding on the lawnmover. Being the good son i am, i move the lawn furniture to an already mowed portion so he can mow the side yard.
He finishes up, he gets to talking about landscaping he wants to do, points to one of our planters/light holders is tipped over halfway. He goes and sets it right….
Then he swats at something. Then he slaps himself in the neck, like as fucking hard as he can. Then he does it again, this time hard enough to send his glasses flying.
I’m standing like 15 feet away wondering what the fuck was going on, then i see the littler little fuckers flying around him. He starts running towards the garage, i notice no less than 6 fucking wasps just fucking hanging on the front of his shirt. I yelled for him to take it off. He did, runs into the garage then finally lets out with a big GOD FUCKING DAMN IT .
Got him inside, gave the pain killers, and started applying ice packs. He got stung 8 times. Twice on neck, one on his right temple, one on left wrist, two on his right hand and twice on his right leg.
I wasn’t about to take this shit lying down. I had a thing of ant spray in the garage, i changed into jeans and a hoodie, waited for the sun to go down a little more, went out, kicked the planter, and started spraying anything that moved. 25 minutes later the planter stopped buzzing, I kicked it twice more, and i was out of spray. If those fuckers aren’t dead, they ain’t happy.
Also, bonus cosplay chick for reading all this
I am hoping for a followup tomorrow morning that involves gasoline and a controlled burn.
Me too.
There’s no way the yellow jackets are gonna take this laying down.
If they’re still there tomorrow they’re gonna wish they had followed luck’s lead and gotten the hell out of Indiana when they had the chance
You’re going to boo them mercilessly?
Sure. Lets go with that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J2kc4oZTVU&ab_channel=jdittmarphoto
If it comes to that. Gonna get proper bee spray and a a weed wacker tomorrowa. Gotta remove the foliage.
Those fuckers deserve death. Just the 8 stings ain’t awful for caught in a swarm. Well done taking em down.
I honestly stopped counting at 8
eek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICXkH4Arqag
She’s a treasure.
My ridiculous trip is merely days away! I’m flying SFO-TPE-BKK (bike tour) BKK-CMB (bird watching, food tour) CMB-DXB-SIN (overnight) SIN-DXB-CMB, CMB-DEL-AMD, AMD-SIN-SFO. This is all over about 6 days, I leave 1 am Thursday, return 9:40 am Wednesday
Restarting Always Sunny and shocked at how bad the early episodes look now
that show didnt start until DeVito joined
“The Gang Goes on Welfare” is still my fav
The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention or Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass
The abortion wars one is one of my favorites.
Big fan of the Eagles’ Super Bowl two-parter, myself
And let’s not forget The World Series defense
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6cEOk7x4HA
“Oh shit, there’s stickers.”
I know what it is. It looks like a shitty British TV show. Like they borrowed their cameras from Eastenders, which reminds me: i heard this a billion times as a kid, and it still blows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixg1WjfMbV4
I remember watching it when it debuted and not thinking it was that great. Wasn’t till like 5 years later people told me to give it another chance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7r55rLFUmk
Damn. The White Walkers finally got ol’ HODOR
Wow, someone’s got some catching up to do.
Allow me.
STOP WATCHING AFTER THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF THE FINAL SEASON.
They stop trying and it all goes to shit.
Sweet dreams.
Is this some sort of Warrant music video?
If you’re hitting hay, holdup, i got a long story im writing
Great. Now I have epilepsy and a pathological craving for cherry pie.
Farewell Andrew Luck. Now, if you pee blood, you have only yourself to blame.
Possum has been extracted with no shots fired.
(I was joking about the shotgun, fwiw)
They’re quite slow and stupid. I feel a kinship.
We have one around us that will sit in our recycling bin for hours if there’s a peanut butter jar in there. Cute little fella.
To be fair; I’ve done the same.
Dead, alive, or maimed?
Just killed a black widow outside the garage. Feeling kinda badass.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???
Not without pictures or video.
Make sure it did lay eggs
I’m not even on Tinder and I’m swiping left on this.
Hadn’t Coretta Scott King suffered enough?
You are so Thích Quảng Đức tonight!!!
I killed some insects earlier, I’m writing that story now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YMh_SLnNIg
So if you play season mode on madden with the colts, does he retire in franchise mode?
The madden franchise should be updated with CTE, early retirements, behavioral suspensions and fines for not talking to the press
Oh, but when I do it…
I played two 21-year olds in Wiffle Ball tonight and while I held my own, dear god does everything hurt right now.
Which one was shirts and which was skins?
Well there goes my plans for this evening.
You’ve been spared, widowed sock.