Well, well, well. After complaining about ‘squirrels running circles inside my helmet’ and ‘constant rain falling off my body’, Jets team physicians diagnosed Unfrozen Caveman QB Sam Darnold with mononucleosis. Asked by reporters how he contracted it, he replied, “It was a girl from The Clan of The Cave Bear. She lives beyond the pine trees where the snow is always angry. You wouldn’t know her’.

Not all is lost… actually quite a bit is lost. Wr Enunwa is done, lb Mosley has got “The Groins”, rook dt Williams has an ankle owie, rb Bell had an MRI on his shoulder today and wr Thomas has hamstring issues. Help is on the way though-enticed by a stick slathered with honey, qb Siemian has descended from the trees and will camp behind center for as many weeks as needed.

TO THE GAME!

Bucs/Panthers:

Rb McCaffrey had a mere 29 touches last week. All his fantasy owners are yelling ‘huzzah!’ but that’s not really sustainable, is it? He’s going to be so beat up at the end of the year, if he makes it that far. Still, what are you going to do, hand the ball off to (checks roster) Reggie Bonnafon 10 times? Newton has to get the passing game flowing and according to PFF, wr’s Wright and Samuel match up well to the covering cb’s-D.J. Moore not so much.

The Tampa backfield started the season as a mess as there was no clear leader but last week Ronald Jones (I maintain he’s a bust) showed some signs of life and has now edged a few hairs ahead of Peyton Barber. (sorry)

It can’t be worse than last week, right?