Let’s get right at it… TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Fins:
Guh. Nice start. The spread in this game is 19, which is about 19 more points than my level of interest. Btw, Brady’s record in Miami is 7-10.
Cards/Ravens:
What’s better than young love? Only a battle between young, dynamic qb’s, that’s what. That reckless hypothesis will be tested today.
Niners/Bengals:
Kittle owners had to be pissed that 2 TD’s were called back on penalty-but fear not, he was targeted more than twice as often as the next wideout. Jimmy G had a trash day a week ago but every opponent should be loving Cincy’s secondary. It’s almost as bad as the Giants.
Bears/Lions:
T.J. Hockenson had the very best day that any rook te ever had in his splashy debut. I’ll bet that the Bears lay some pads on him, unlike the Cards.
Vikes/Pack:
Cousins threw a mere 10 times last week. You knew that they were committed to the run but that’s crazy. Thing is, they got up by 14 very early and could do whatever they liked and what they liked was running down the clock starting in the second quarter. Don’t worry, wr’s Theilen and Diggs are still there and will be used.
Jags/Texans:
The Constant Gardner Minshew gets his very first starty-start quite a bit earlier than even his mom expected. And she expects a lot! You would think that de Watt will spoil his milk but he had exactly one pressure last week and nary a a sackeroo.
Bills/Giants:
What can you say about this game that hasn’t already been said by the spittle running down the chin of a homeless heroin addict? Yeah, I’m gonna watch.
Seahawks/Steelers:
Speaking of talent-less secondaries (see, Giants above) Seattle’s has a distinctive lack of BOOM these days-expect the Steelers passing game and their talented wr’s to have a pleasant bounce back.
Colts/Titans:
With Devin Funchess gone, (he’s always been a ‘meh’ guy to me) Deon Cain looks to step in and make a difference. What happened to Parris Campbell?
Cowboys/Potato Skins:
Dallas backers are all agog regarding Dak’s newfound passing prowess but those TD’s last week were the result of missed tackles and assignments. (Antonio Hamilton is a bum) Dak only threw into the endzone once all game. Maybe OC Kellen Moore is onto something but in my books the ‘Boys qb is a glorified game manager.
Well, there you have it-everything you could possibly need to watch the early afternoon slate aside from pills, booze, dope and munchies. Have at it!
yep, 19-0
Holy shit, do you think the reason Pete Carroll is a 9/11 truther is because the NY Jets consistently lose to the Steelers?
Lucky Doink
Anyone make a Marquis of Quessenberry joke yet?
WOOT WOOT. DAK BOMB!
I don’t really know how to react when the Seahawks legitimately score a touchdown
Cowpokes waking up. Let’s see how Dak screws up.
So did Gints just stop handing the ball off or did Bills get smart and load up on the line?
Yes
If the Bills beat the Giants, I may have to find a stream of NY sports talk.
Agent: Did we just have a “moment?”
Aaron: Yes.
I wanna buy this bike. I should buy this bike. Provide validation that this should be my daily ride
https://www.cycletrader.com/listing/1977-Honda-CB-750-5009057859
You’ll look cool riding it up the stairwell at work?
I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t get it.
A mere pittance compared to the value of your DFO stock.
That Valladolid goal was amazing!
Gotta go refill the propane tank at the local Tractor Supply. Anyone need any Carhartt clothing while I’m there?
I need a diecast John Deere tractor
/scribbles furiously
And a pink camo beer coozy
Grab me some hunting overalls
I love their t-shirts. As a fat ass I appreciate the generous cut.
I could use a pair of leather gloves, whichever kind Scotchy prefers…
Cowboys just gonna derp themselves into a loss to the Slurs of all teams.
Yeah, they’ll do that.
/drinks
Division games gonna division
Yep. Washington Voodoo is most effective
But don’t worry too much, Redacteds can’t play a second half to save their lives
One step closer to having JJ stroke out.
I didn’t say they should stop.
Will we even notice?
A Young woman no longer needs to be around for him to be drooling.
So Ramsey is gonna be cut and go to the Patriots?
Worked on the new brakes on the Impala all morning and hung the steering yesterday. My back is killing me, so hello NFL and pitcher of beer margarita. And y’all, of course.
Definitely seem up for anything.
Is there such a thing as a Trailer Park Renaissance Man?
“Lucky ass touchdown, I could have ran that in” – Gruden
Who the fuck is doing the color for the Dallas-Washington game? AP’s agent?
Josh Allen. I know your terrible, but throw it to John Brown
Just missed a wide open 50yard bomb.
or hand it off to Devin ?
Peterson used to get that in.
Did Devin Singletary insult the Buffalo staff? Did he diss wrestling? I saw the replay from last week. Every time Devin got the ball, he was trouble for the Jets.
Captaaaaaaiiiinnnnn Dingleberry. AHOY!!!
YOU LIEK THAT!!
lolvikes
If the Red Zone production team doesn’t win the Emmy every year, there is no justice.
and godfuckingdamnit, David Johnson already hurt hisself
hee hee, snatch route
Search term for Balls?
We gon’ see some kicker blood after today. That’s always fun.
My auction league team is so shitty, I had to start Brokeback QB. WOO!!!
Soooo, uhhhhh, the Shitbirds @ Yinzers is a puntfest… Of course, why show the Pats game at the airport, when we could watch this shite…
These are the Vikings I’ve come to know and love
DAK! you could have ran the 1st instead of throwing the INT.
I have never understood why it is the qb’s fault when the receiver volleyballs the catch, which he should have made. I think it should count against the receiver.
too complicated for sports stats. Next you’ll say that a no hitter should involve no one hitting the ball or something
A hit is defined a hell of a lot better than a catch. I would think it was simple, did the receiver touch the ball before the interception
DAK DAK DAKerception!
Lyft or BART (including the walk/bus/drive to the BART station) to the Coliseum this afternoon?
Makes me very happy that Adrian Peterson is currently sitting at 1 carry for -4 yards right now. I hope they bench him for it.
Meanwhile … AB almost scored his first TD, so that may explain why I could hear the high-pitched scream from Yinzerville…
If Gruden doesn’t like North/South runners, then why sign Peterson?
He’s trying to switch things up?
I think the Gruden boys always got the opposite of whatever they asked for for Christmas, and it stuck
Dolphins crossing the 50 should be a touchdown
Announcers are justifiably shitting all over Arsenal. Need more of this in the American sportsball announcing.
fellow dolphins fan I see
You bite your tongue, Sir.
and then emit a series of high-pitched squeals and clicks.
That’s a spectacular collapse.
If they have a defensive scheme beyond “run around and bump into things” I’ll be damned if I can see it.
I had hoped that the NE -MIA game would be so bad they would not cut to it much, but no, Red Zone is the AB show.
Only want to see that game on the Black and Blue Zone showing a career ending injury to Tom Brady
The only injury clip I would watch again and again is Brady being Theismann’d.
A good Shazier-ing would be a close second…
It’s too bad smug doesn’t cause cancer
Where do you work again?
You sure about that, Shkreli is one big tumor.
Niners apparently not sucking this year. Still don’t care to go to a game.
jesus Christ, Arsenal.
Oh yeah. Saquon is gonna fuck me sideways today.
It’s the Penn State Way.
Fire on the field in Tenn.
It’s 1862 all over again?
I took the Seattle, Viks and Tits. Let’s make some money.
Howdy ho, motherfuckers?! I stopped looking at any and all related football news the second the Jet game ended last week. Anything interesting happen? I can’t imagine it did.
Trade Antonio Brown.
That is all.
I really was expecting the McCourtey Twins coming out and tubing cocoa butter on themselves.
See you all after the early session.
For the record I’m cooking a roasted garlic, rosemary pork tenderloin with lemon herb Greek potatoes and a spinach salad for dinner.
Yep.
Every fucking Sunday.
I’M DOING A TENDERLOIN TODAY TOO!!!!!
It’s like we’re the Corsican Brothers.
GFDI
Let’s get this Shit show underway. Got a bad feeling about this Dallas game.
That’s what happens when you fly JERRAH AIR
SO HEROIC
At friends watching game. No radio. Listening to TV commentators. Beer supply is nonexistent.
non-imaginary friends?? They are THE WORST
You ain’t wrong.
And you did this willingly?
Thought and prayers
Ummmm…Redshirt…
(ahem)
You ummmm…..do know where the beer store is, right?