Your “Let’s Get This Party Started!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get right at it… TO THE GAMES!

Pats/Fins:

Guh. Nice start. The spread in this game is 19, which is about 19 more points than my level of interest. Btw, Brady’s record in Miami is 7-10.

Cards/Ravens:

What’s better than young love? Only a battle between young, dynamic qb’s, that’s what. That reckless hypothesis will be tested today.

Niners/Bengals:

Kittle owners had to be pissed that 2 TD’s were called back on penalty-but fear not, he was targeted more than twice as often as the next wideout. Jimmy G had a trash day a week ago but every opponent should be loving Cincy’s secondary. It’s almost as bad as the Giants.

Bears/Lions:

T.J. Hockenson had the very best day that any rook te ever had in his splashy debut. I’ll bet that the Bears lay some pads on him, unlike the Cards.

Vikes/Pack:

Cousins threw a mere 10 times last week. You knew that they were committed to the run but that’s crazy. Thing is, they got up by 14 very early and could do whatever they liked and what they liked was running down the clock starting in the second quarter. Don’t worry, wr’s Theilen and Diggs are still there and will be used.

Jags/Texans:

The Constant Gardner Minshew gets his very first starty-start quite a bit earlier than even his mom expected. And she expects a lot! You would think that de Watt will spoil his milk but he had exactly one pressure last week and nary a a sackeroo.

Bills/Giants:

What can you say about this game that hasn’t already been said by the spittle running down the chin of a homeless heroin addict? Yeah, I’m gonna watch.

Seahawks/Steelers:

Speaking of talent-less secondaries (see, Giants above) Seattle’s has a distinctive lack of BOOM these days-expect the Steelers passing game and their talented wr’s to have a pleasant bounce back.

Colts/Titans:

With Devin Funchess gone, (he’s always been a ‘meh’ guy to me) Deon Cain looks to step in and make a difference. What happened to Parris Campbell?

Cowboys/Potato Skins:

Dallas backers are all agog regarding Dak’s newfound passing prowess but those TD’s last week were the result of missed tackles and assignments. (Antonio Hamilton is a bum) Dak only threw into the endzone once all game. Maybe OC Kellen Moore is onto something but in my books the ‘Boys qb is a glorified game manager.

Well, there you have it-everything you could possibly need to watch the early afternoon slate aside from pills, booze, dope and munchies. Have at it!

 

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King Hippo

yep, 19-0

Doktor Zymm

Holy shit, do you think the reason Pete Carroll is a 9/11 truther is because the NY Jets consistently lose to the Steelers?

Spur

Lucky Doink

Spur

WOOT WOOT. DAK BOMB!

Doktor Zymm

I don’t really know how to react when the Seahawks legitimately score a touchdown

Spur

Cowpokes waking up. Let’s see how Dak screws up.

Gratliff

So did Gints just stop handing the ball off or did Bills get smart and load up on the line?

Sharkbait

Yes

ArmedandHammered

If the Bills beat the Giants, I may have to find a stream of NY sports talk.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Agent: Did we just have a “moment?”
Aaron: Yes.

Doktor Zymm

I wanna buy this bike. I should buy this bike. Provide validation that this should be my daily ride
https://www.cycletrader.com/listing/1977-Honda-CB-750-5009057859

LemonJello

You’ll look cool riding it up the stairwell at work?

ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t get it.

Horatio Cornblower

A mere pittance compared to the value of your DFO stock.

ballsofsteelandfury

That Valladolid goal was amazing!

Horatio Cornblower

Gotta go refill the propane tank at the local Tractor Supply. Anyone need any Carhartt clothing while I’m there?

Gratliff

I need a diecast John Deere tractor

Horatio Cornblower

/scribbles furiously

Gratliff

And a pink camo beer coozy

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Grab me some hunting overalls

ArmedandHammered

I love their t-shirts. As a fat ass I appreciate the generous cut.

LemonJello

I could use a pair of leather gloves, whichever kind Scotchy prefers…

Gratliff

Cowboys just gonna derp themselves into a loss to the Slurs of all teams.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, they’ll do that.
/drinks

Doktor Zymm

Division games gonna division

Spur

Yep. Washington Voodoo is most effective

Doktor Zymm

But don’t worry too much, Redacteds can’t play a second half to save their lives

ArmedandHammered

One step closer to having JJ stroke out.

Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t say they should stop.

Doktor Zymm

Will we even notice?

ArmedandHammered

A Young woman no longer needs to be around for him to be drooling.

Doktor Zymm

So Ramsey is gonna be cut and go to the Patriots?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Worked on the new brakes on the Impala all morning and hung the steering yesterday. My back is killing me, so hello NFL and pitcher of beer margarita. And y’all, of course.

LemonJello

Definitely seem up for anything.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is there such a thing as a Trailer Park Renaissance Man?

Spur

“Lucky ass touchdown, I could have ran that in” – Gruden

Horatio Cornblower

Who the fuck is doing the color for the Dallas-Washington game? AP’s agent?

Sharkbait

Josh Allen. I know your terrible, but throw it to John Brown

clint greasewood

Just missed a wide open 50yard bomb.

Spur

or hand it off to Devin ?

Fronkenshteen

Peterson used to get that in.

Spur

Did Devin Singletary insult the Buffalo staff? Did he diss wrestling? I saw the replay from last week. Every time Devin got the ball, he was trouble for the Jets.

King Hippo

Captaaaaaaiiiinnnnn Dingleberry. AHOY!!!

Fronkenshteen

YOU LIEK THAT!!

Gratliff

lolvikes

Fronkenshteen

If the Red Zone production team doesn’t win the Emmy every year, there is no justice.

King Hippo

and godfuckingdamnit, David Johnson already hurt hisself

King Hippo

hee hee, snatch route

LemonJello

Search term for Balls?

King Hippo

We gon’ see some kicker blood after today. That’s always fun.

King Hippo

My auction league team is so shitty, I had to start Brokeback QB. WOO!!!

bk109

Soooo, uhhhhh, the Shitbirds @ Yinzers is a puntfest… Of course, why show the Pats game at the airport, when we could watch this shite…

Gratliff

These are the Vikings I’ve come to know and love

Spur

DAK! you could have ran the 1st instead of throwing the INT.

ArmedandHammered

I have never understood why it is the qb’s fault when the receiver volleyballs the catch, which he should have made. I think it should count against the receiver.

Doktor Zymm

too complicated for sports stats. Next you’ll say that a no hitter should involve no one hitting the ball or something

ArmedandHammered

A hit is defined a hell of a lot better than a catch. I would think it was simple, did the receiver touch the ball before the interception

LemonJello

DAK DAK DAKerception!

Doktor Zymm

Lyft or BART (including the walk/bus/drive to the BART station) to the Coliseum this afternoon?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

Gratliff

Makes me very happy that Adrian Peterson is currently sitting at 1 carry for -4 yards right now. I hope they bench him for it.

bk109

Meanwhile … AB almost scored his first TD, so that may explain why I could hear the high-pitched scream from Yinzerville…

Spur

If Gruden doesn’t like North/South runners, then why sign Peterson?

Horatio Cornblower

He’s trying to switch things up?

Bortleback

I think the Gruden boys always got the opposite of whatever they asked for for Christmas, and it stuck

Gatoraids

Dolphins crossing the 50 should be a touchdown

Horatio Cornblower

Announcers are justifiably shitting all over Arsenal. Need more of this in the American sportsball announcing.

Gatoraids

fellow dolphins fan I see

Horatio Cornblower

You bite your tongue, Sir.

and then emit a series of high-pitched squeals and clicks.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a spectacular collapse.

Horatio Cornblower

If they have a defensive scheme beyond “run around and bump into things” I’ll be damned if I can see it.

ArmedandHammered

I had hoped that the NE -MIA game would be so bad they would not cut to it much, but no, Red Zone is the AB show.

Gatoraids

Only want to see that game on the Black and Blue Zone showing a career ending injury to Tom Brady

ArmedandHammered

The only injury clip I would watch again and again is Brady being Theismann’d.

LemonJello

A good Shazier-ing would be a close second…

Doktor Zymm

It’s too bad smug doesn’t cause cancer

Unsurprised

Where do you work again?

ArmedandHammered

You sure about that, Shkreli is one big tumor.

Doktor Zymm

Niners apparently not sucking this year. Still don’t care to go to a game.

Horatio Cornblower

jesus Christ, Arsenal.

Gratliff

Oh yeah. Saquon is gonna fuck me sideways today.

Spur

It’s the Penn State Way.

ArmedandHammered

Fire on the field in Tenn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s 1862 all over again?

Spur

I took the Seattle, Viks and Tits. Let’s make some money.

Smithchez

Howdy ho, motherfuckers?! I stopped looking at any and all related football news the second the Jet game ended last week. Anything interesting happen? I can’t imagine it did.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trade Antonio Brown.
That is all.

clint greasewood

I really was expecting the McCourtey Twins coming out and tubing cocoa butter on themselves.

yeah right

See you all after the early session.

yeah right

For the record I’m cooking a roasted garlic, rosemary pork tenderloin with lemon herb Greek potatoes and a spinach salad for dinner.
Yep.
Every fucking Sunday.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’M DOING A TENDERLOIN TODAY TOO!!!!!

It’s like we’re the Corsican Brothers.

Unsurprised

GFDI

Spur

Let’s get this Shit show underway. Got a bad feeling about this Dallas game.

Unsurprised

That’s what happens when you fly JERRAH AIR

King Hippo

SO HEROIC

Redshirt

At friends watching game. No radio. Listening to TV commentators. Beer supply is nonexistent.

King Hippo

non-imaginary friends?? They are THE WORST

theeWeeBabySeamus

You ain’t wrong.

ArmedandHammered

And you did this willingly?

Spur

Thought and prayers

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmm…Redshirt…
(ahem)

You ummmm…..do know where the beer store is, right?