So I was listening to the fantasy football channel on my way home from work today (not a sponsor) when I heard a yeller describe a specific play as “bananacakes!”. Sure it could be just a coincidence but I think the long reach of DFO is manifesting itself, peoples! Let’s head over to that thing that gets done on Mondays…
Fallout:
-Is this the year of the backup qb? Sure seems like it. The whole football got rolling with a bit of news that resulted in Brissett being under center. From there we’ve seen Minshew, Rudolf, Bridgewater, (Taysom is just a matter of time) Rosen, McCown and tonight Sieman. And Daniel Jones is right around the corner. That’s about 20% of teams leaning on the guy they feared they wouldn’t have to lean on. And we’re all of two weeks in.
-Speaking of the Giants Jones, coach Shurmur won’t commit to Eli this coming week. He’s in a wee tight spot because owner Mara/GM Gettleman are Eli guys but now he’s asserting himself. He’ll win out eventually with the help of the NY media.
-Those fantasy owners that took a flyer on the Steelers James Washington, don’t throw in the Terrible Towel just yet. New qb Mason Rudolf and JW were teammates at Oklahoma State very recently and did some good things together. I’m not saying that they’ll be gangbusters but just give this a chance.
–“J’accuse…!” So says a lady mural painter employed by Mr. Antonio. An unsubstantiated rumor started by me just right now was that the mural was of an id running wild…
-Broncs fans can take solace in the fact that Manny Sanders is back and doing damage again but be aware that he was matched against the incredibly awful cb Buster Skrines yesterday.
-Adam Vinatieri, unless you get your shit together next week, the noble thing to do would be to take the decision out of your coach’s hands and hang up that kicking tee for good.
TO THE GAME!
Browns/Jets:
Good lord, New York is almost literally limping into this tilt. I fear that rb Bell and his wonky shoulder are going to be called on to carry far too much of the load because Siemian and he’s going to break down. Cleveland had a letdown last week and should come out super aggressive. As with all things Cleveland, this one won’t be pretty.
Do that thingy that you do. It’s so sexy!
Why the fuck are we all still watching this?
You got somewhere better to be?
And, if so, mind if we tag along?
We’re one hit away from Hot Emergency QB Action?
we want to feel something
Go ahead and advertise two starters for next Monday, NFL. They’ll both drop of scarlet fever or some shit by then.
Scurvy? Rickets?
After mono, you can pretty much say anything and some asshole in the NFL will get it this year. Bubonic plague seems possible.
MRSA
Maybe Fox can bring back House, and every week he can try to diagnose the QB of the week.
It’ll be fun: he can grill Russell Wilson about extramarital affairs, Aaron Rodgers about … affairs, Brady about whatever weird supplements he’s on.
But it’s not lupus. It’s never lupus.
Related:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnFCAbR84RA
[starts working on “Year of the Backup, Backup QB Post”]
I am now thinking it would be fun to do a version of Love Island where Sam Darnold is a special guest and ends up leaving with mono.
So Falk is employing the “if I don’t move, they won’t see me” defense?
Jets lost another QB? What happened?
He grabbed a kid in a zoo
Wait. Wrong Siemian
Nearly the same time; well done.
Harambe’s revenge?
Will the Dolphins manage to tie the Jets at one point this season?
They’ll both be eliminated from playoff contention at the same time?
Yeah, tonight at midnight
Says here this Luke Falk guy is from Washington St. and was drafted last year. So he was a backup to Minshew? A backup WSU qb got drafted?
Minshew transferred in after Falk.
Okay I referred to Season 1 of Love Island as “Melanoma Island”, I think Season 2 is going into the book as “Promiscuity Island”.
16-3? That score doesn’t set the stage for a tie nearly as well as I’d like.
Sacha Baron Cohen trying out a new character?
Hank Williams Jr. is not happy with this
Is this a robot singing?
then why’s it wearing a coat?
So who are these Tainty and Anal music people? They sounded furrin in the intro.
Am I a wuss if I go to bed before 10pm? Meh screw it, I was up at 3am this morning. I’m going to bed.
This game is worth stayi—- oh who am I kidding? These teams could fuck up a wet dream
Hopefully I’ll have one.
MOM WE GOTTA WASH MY SHEETS!!!!!!!
Godspeed
I’ll still have the game on fwiw. Just with my eyes closed.
Your retinas approve
But not my corneas. I’m too lazy to take my contacts out tonight.
Fuck it….they do corneal transplants right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_IEk12RyZ8
“For the last time, it was a pre-snap huddle! It wasn’t a prayer circle! We don’t believe in God at this point!”
-Adam Gase, post-game interview
Awkward watching Suzy introduce the Namath interview segment….
Remember, the Jets and Giants play each other this year so someone will have a win!
4-4 tie
I’m hoping for a tie.
Perfectly balanced
SexDragon-esque throw by Bakersfield there…
Someone predicted Bell would have 200+ carries this season, but they probably didn’t mean by week 2.
Drinking Bunnahabhain 18. Got it as a gift over the weekend. The bottle is half gone already.
Nice. I like the 12, not sure if I’ve had the 18. (Insert Epstein joke here.)
Always feel like Bunnahabhain is underrated because it’s an odd duck as a low-peat Islay. Well, that, and nobody can pronounce it.
So who is the jets emergency QB?
Most NFL coaches just have pudding heads
Andy Reid wants their names to hire as assistants
Adam Shefter on QB Injuries:
“Starters done got fucked up”
So you’re saying there’s still a chance trubisky makes the pro bowl?
In an age where every other piece of nostalgic media gets called “underrated” mask of the phantasm really deserves the name.
I was too young when i first saw it, caught it on tv some years later, holee crap
If you wait Mayfield out, holy crap will he make some ugly throws. If you wait the jets defense out though, they’ll just stop covering people.
On the road back home from one of the most batshit weekends in recorded history. This story is gonna be a doozy. And I’m probably gonna be needing TWBS’s advice. But it’s too long to type on my phone in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. If you want a preview of how Saturday night went though…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cqoq2E7Muw0
Yeah, we’re gonna need the story
Minus the jail part though.
“BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
So the New York Post sports headline tomorrow will just be “WE’RE FUCKED” over a Jets/Giants logo, right?
Not “Get ready for a Ficken?”
It sells more copies than Sevy’s first start of the year tomorrow.
You don’t remember the ‘Toilet Bowl’ of ’96?
https://youtu.be/pj4G7tHYxSY
Judging by the comments it’s a good thing I’m not watching this game.
What the fuck was that shitty ass graphic?!
Madden 2K21 beta?
Not enough glitches and failures of physics.
NFL QB lineup before year over
“Did you know that Simon Zinc-Trumpet-Harris went to OXFORD?”
Nice. Would’ve excepted “played cricket in college”
Fun fact: i saw the jets kicker play soccer in high school
That’s certainly one way to define “fun,” sure.
Ficken was kickin back then too?
Yep. We were making that joke back then.
I actually saw him play more soccer than football, only saw him kick field goals once in high school.
Years later i hear he’s playing for the rams
Without pants/ shorts.
Ive put it off long enough. Time for scotch
For showing that kind of restraint, have two.
Thanks for the reminder. I knew something was missing here.
Finally! [assembles sex swing]
THREE POINTS! THREE POINTS! THREE POINTS!
Dunkin Donuts has a promotion here where you get a free small coffee if the jets or giants win. My friend lives in Boston and couldn’t give a fuck about football, but gets more free coffees from the patriots that we get from both teams here combined most years.
I went to Dunkin Donuts in Massachusetts once and ordered a “regular coffee” (meaning a black drip coffee not some latte shit) and they gave me cup of coffee loaded with cream and sugar. I was like “what the fuck?”
Yeah just be glad you didn’t order it black. They would’ve directed you to a Roxbury location.
That’s second and 20, not 2, you idiots
How Rivers doesn’t have measles yet is beyond me
Jay cutler: out- polio
The Lord provides.
He shoves one of his brood in front of any carriers before they can get to him.
Let Falk sling it. He’s an Air Raid cadet.
So they are going to break Lev Bell now right?
Siemian is not known to walk upright to begin with.
They’re gonna have to call Darnold at home and tell him to get his mono-ass down here.
Thought if any Jets QB was going to get Mono it woulda been Sanchez
The clap and herpes weren’t enough?
I’m pretty sure “mono” is a cover story for something else. Maybe he’s getting an abortion.
It is a disease a lot of high schoolers get
Its know as the kissing disease, so if titties in Chicago start coming down with them, we know who’s responsible
Air Raid!
Keeping with the Iraqi Air Force theme?
Evening lizard people, guess who has two thumbs and is now a TA at a community college! The road to being a legitimate professor of violin starts now!
Big deal. Scotchy is a legitimate professor of violence.
Nice work. When do we get to see said T&A?
Wait, dammit, that’s not what you said at all….
A Perfesser at the Kollege of Musical Knowledge
Once again, this is my image of señor while teaching
I wondered when the NFL 100 would look back at Joe Theisman’s career defining moment
Well, Siemian’s dead.
Oooh, he daid.
That’s a broken ape.
it broken
What the fuck is a “Post Malone”, and why is he/she interfering with my drive home?
He occurs after Sam Malone if the name means anything.
I get the impression he’s not a closer.
The New York Jets: Making the Browns Look Competent Since 2018.