Your “Look Who Came Crawling Back!” Thursday Night Football

Yeah, Melvin Gordon is back in the cranky, hardline bosom of the Spanos family. It’s about time a rich white cabal won a showdown against a lone black dude. I feel as though the universe has come back into balance. To no one’s surprise, Rikki’s Austin Ekeler shares are tanking.

Going over the numbers, this doesn’t look like a bananacakes game but maybe we could have a bananabread tilt? The kind of bananabread that is just a little bit warm, warm enough that the generous pat of (unsalted) butter melts gently over the surface. The kind that has that crust that is a bit crunchy-not burned but has sat in the oven just a minute or two longer than the recipe suggests. Where was I?… Oh, right. TO THE GAME!

Eagles/Pack:

Fantasy dudes are whining that qb Rodgers is a dud so far but it should be noted that he’s played 3 of the top 5 D’s from last year. Wagerers are taking note that Rodgers is a minor god-like 62-10 at home over the course of his career. He should get well vs. a Philly team that has not recorded a single sack from a defensive end so far this year. “But at least their secondary is keeping things tight”, is a line that no one who follows the club closely has said this year. It’s remarkably easy to pass on this unit. Like, 300 yards plus per game easy.

Maybe the Eagles offense might come to the rescue tonight? Geez, I guess it could happen. However DJax is out, Goedart has a calf issue, Arcega-Whiteside has a heel thing and Alshon is also calving. Ertz should get all the balls he wants and more this evening.

As the Mennonites like to say, “Make hay folks!”.