I’m glad that the NFL heard my wailings and gnashing of teeth last week and ended up scheduling a morning game. And by ‘heard’, I mean ‘went about their business and did what they were going to do anyway’. They’re quite gifted in that regard.
So, you see the the banner pic. That is A Full English Breakfast and according to my minutes-long research, dates back to the 12th or 113th century, was likely fried in mud and has a number of slight variations across the once-mighty U.K. Much like a game, let’s break ‘er down.
Eggs: Well yeah, of course. This is par for the course. Sunnyside, over-easy, scrambled-I’ll take what you got and ask for more.
Bacon: Mmmm, nothing wrong at all here. As far as pig conduits are concerned, this is the best. A wee bit crispy please!
Sausages: Tread carefully here-I’ve had some nasty versions of these over the years and now I just pass.
Black Pudding: Oatmeal and pork blood can’t be made edible in my opinion and yet the Brits keep banging away at, eight frickin’ centuries and counting now.
Beans: I never think to add beans to brekkie but this is a good idea. Protein-rich and something I loved to pile onto toast as a kid, I prefer mine delicately sweetened with maple sugar. Next!
Toast: A venerable addition to any morning breakfast across the civilized world, get at it quick before it goes cold and/or mushy. A finer conveyor of anything else on the plate, its crunchiness offsets some of the more water soluble items. Speaking of…
Roasted Tomatoes: Just stop it. I’ve never had a good one, ever. It’s bad enough that all tomatoes (outside of your lovely garden of course) now have lost any semblance of flavor, the amount of liquid in this ‘fruit’ guarantees that it will lose its structure immediately when you knife into it.
Mushrooms: A tolerable pass. I prefer mine in a creamy soup or beside or on top of a lovely steak but that’s just me.
TO THE GAME!
Panthers/Bucs:
It’s just hard to predict how teams will react to conditions, the flight, the food, the strange accents, driving on the wrong side of the road, the buses with the extra story, the shouts of ‘guv’na’ everywhere, the fact that kickers of the ball are so revered, the fog, and so many other variables. I provide last week’s game as my primary evidence. The defense rests, yer onour.
Isn’t time you had tea? Type away, gents and lady folk.
Mike Evans, Golem Hands
He won’t get the precious that way… wait, that’s Gollum hands.
That was pretty stupid for a white guy ,, smgdh
-summarizing most of recent world history
I’ve decided to follow Yeah Right’s lead and also cut down on dairy consumption by only watching lactation porn on Mondays.
That is a thing eh? I was always look but don’t touch during Decilitre’s feeding phase.
Misread. Please ignore.
THAT’s what Balls should search – one lesbian nursing another (who is also wearing a diaper)
yet again, I shall hope FOAR the fair catch FG attempt by MRSA
YES YES YES YES
Both these qb’s plagued by Bad Idea Genes.
Maybe Cam drives better on the left – when he’s supposed to be on the left
I have accepted my fate. Just traded Hopkins and David Johnson for Lindsay and Courtland Sutton (keeper league).
Tough, but fair
There’s an auction of heavy equipment going on somewhere. The address is-and I quote-“2 miles north of the landfill”. Gotta love small town tv ads.
“Turn right at Gertrude’s, but mind her cats.”
“2 miles north of the landfill” sounds like a place where a body would be buried. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, now would you, scotchy?
I’m just about to send off my fruit and vegetable recap. Hippo, you need any starfruit, baby spinach or ginger?
that would juice up purty good
I see the US lost to Tonga, a country that may or may not actually exist*, in the Rugby World Cup.
*I kid, of course, but thanks to global warming that joke will make more sense in 20-30 years.
should we buy this nation, just for the ruggers?
And allow moar immicants to take our jerbs?!? Hell no! MAGA!
But then they wouldn’t BE immigr…oh yeah, they’d still be brown. Never mind.
“Absolutely!” – Bobby “Two-Strokes” Kraft, mishearing you.
Two strokes in every Kraft Single
IHATERUGGERS is the most famous P*ts fan on Twitter
Revised breakfast includes 1 slice of whole grain toast and 1 smoothie made with 2/3 cup of orange juice, 1/3 cup of blueberries and one banana. Puree with an immersion blender and place in freezer for 13 minutes.
As for English breakfast?
I’ll have the lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRfnV_KC_WY
If dummy turns it over again, the buc defense will pack it in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX-YfuVQmX8
I wish we had a military made of clones of Christian McCaffery.
Me too, because then my FF opponent probably wouldn’t have McCaffery on his team.
Caffy Bear!
Scotchy I switched to the BC feed and now apparently Trevor Linden has opened a bunch of gyms to compete with Steve Nash’s apparently.
How many does Lui Passaglia have? Is he a threat to Nash’s monopoly?
That name should have a shrine in this house, him and Buono are patron Saints for this family.
This is all lining up well, except for the beating at the hands of teh Hippo I am about to take.
Jameis Winston getting intercepted more than UK shipping lines in the North Sea in 1940.
CATCH
Boy. It’s like bad decision-making is a pattern with this guy.
Brits are surprised at all the punting. Surely one of these sides should try playing it out from the back?
Fooking poonters
This is some seriously bad playcalling by Riverboat Ron et al.
speaking of Ms. Jolie, I re-watched Gia last week. OK, 7 minutes of it.
Elizabeth Mitchell is hotter in that and in general.
Better not let the authorities watch this game and hear about Matt Gay, or else he’s gonna be Matt ChemicallyCastrated by the time he gets back over here.
OJ Howard, post-Hippo cutting
Me too. Did you get Waller?
Ummmm, nae. Somebody had him from the auction. I re-acquired Gerald Everett off waivers (now that all his points have been spunked away), plus Hunter Henry.
I don’t think I’ve broken 5 points from my TE slot all goddamned season.
That’s why I removed that slot in my league. You can use them as FLEX, but you don’t have to.
O.J. Howard can lick my pre-shower perineum.
Remember cut against the grain.
Down the street, not across the tracks!
Exactly what Tampa needed? I’d say Cipro in the drinking water supply.
English breakfast pic does help me resolve to go back on the juice, though. Made a batch last night.
3 large gala apples
2 medium zucchini
pack of 6 mini-cucumbers
container of kale
one large lime
Ohio has only two seasons, summer and winter. We’ve heard theories of a few other seasons, but we’ve seen no tangible evidence they exist.
I’m in northern Ontario watching an American game played in London and getting commercials from Saskatchewan-I might be one of those globalists that certain folks despise.
Inlaws have the full tv package so I am watching the Atlantic Canada feed in BC.
Any cod kissing action going on yet or is it too early?
None, yet however I do have my eye on a swarthy real estate agent!
Top o’ the mornin! Full English with no mushrooms, extra blood pudding please.
Goddamnit litre, I was starting to like you!
I’m jsut assuming that Peyton Barber is some kind of genetic experiment where some insane football journalist combined the DNA of Tiki Barber and Peyton Hillis to form the perfect RB.
the ONLY item on the British diarrhea breakfast plate I’d eat are the (non-blood) sausages
if Kyle could vulture this TD, I’d appreciate
But I need a Caffy TD.
I am 1-4, facing a McCaffrey AND Dalvin Cook side. It’s hopeless.
Except against me Hippo! you got that one in the bag
1-4 is money league. I am 4-1 with a REALLY BULLSHIT LOSS in DFO-ball. No moneys.
You know, when I imagine Angelina Jolie in leather calling herself the Mistress of Evil, it wasn’t in a Disney-produced film.
Well she is a Devils fan
?w=500
Lately? She looks like she could use a sandwich.
Donks WOO!!! are represented by a faux-Sikh man waiting for the bus.
yes, HIPPO SET HIS ALARM FOAR THIS
Well there’s a gif
“Godwin is Clapton”
– spray painted on TB underpass
Does Rich Eisen have a day job? If so, he prolly shouldn’t quit it.
I used to like him on sportscenter because if he was speaking, it meant Stuart Scott wasn’t. Usually.
speaking of spotted dick, THESE QBs ,, amirite??
So far the only completion has been the interception.
maybe Jamies couldn’t find any English ladies with enough teeth to rape last night?
Toothless women can still eat crabmeat. Ppl forget that
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
You’d think National-Anthem-singing-dude would have at least shaved for his big moment.
those eyes spoke of Michael Irvin-caliber beak usage
pretty sparse FOAR mandatory, I can’t help but notice
No one understands their obligations any more. smgdh
KICK THE FUCKING BALL IN THE AIR
fuck yo Queen
I thought this was the British national anthem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvMxqcgBhWQ
FIST RAISED!! for mandatory FITBAW
I understand why we have to watch the Cowboys/Jets game down here in TX, but why is CBS subjecting the rest of the country to that game? Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?
If you could stop touching your car’s tailpipe in ‘that way’, maybe the rest of us could have nice things once in a while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXavZYeXEc0
We’ve got a light smattering of Euro qualifying (Kazakhstan (the silent ‘h’ was placed there by the Soviet secret police)/Belgium) to hold us over before the game.
If I remember my Pork 101 class correctly, bacon in England is like our bacon but they also leave on part of the loin, so you get a slice of that as well. That piece by itself is canadian bacon, the other part is American, and together it’s English or Euro bacon; is that like a metaphor or something?
Oatmeal and pork blood? I think I’ll just stick with scrambled eggs, toast, and a Sausage McMuffin or two.
‘MURRICA!!!!!!
Wait till you see what’s for dessert…