Your “Oy! What’s This Then?” Sunday Morning Football Open Thread

I’m glad that the NFL heard my wailings and gnashing of teeth last week and ended up scheduling a morning game. And by ‘heard’, I mean ‘went about their business and did what they were going to do anyway’. They’re quite gifted in that regard.

So, you see the the banner pic. That is A Full English Breakfast and according to my minutes-long research, dates back to the 12th or 113th century, was likely fried in mud and has a number of slight variations across the once-mighty U.K. Much like a game, let’s break ‘er down.

Eggs: Well yeah, of course. This is par for the course. Sunnyside, over-easy, scrambled-I’ll take what you got and ask for more.

Bacon: Mmmm, nothing wrong at all here. As far as pig conduits are concerned, this is the best. A wee bit crispy please!

Sausages: Tread carefully here-I’ve had some nasty versions of these over the years and now I just pass.

Black Pudding: Oatmeal and pork blood can’t be made edible in my opinion and yet the Brits keep banging away at, eight frickin’ centuries and counting now.

Beans: I never think to add beans to brekkie but this is a good idea. Protein-rich and something I loved to pile onto toast as a kid, I prefer mine delicately sweetened with maple sugar. Next!

Toast: A venerable addition to any morning breakfast across the civilized world, get at it quick before it goes cold and/or mushy. A finer conveyor of anything else on the plate, its crunchiness offsets some of the more water soluble items. Speaking of…

Roasted Tomatoes: Just stop it. I’ve never had a good one, ever. It’s bad enough that all tomatoes (outside of your lovely garden of course) now have lost any semblance of flavor, the amount of liquid in this ‘fruit’ guarantees that it will lose its structure immediately when you knife into it.

Mushrooms: A tolerable pass. I prefer mine in a creamy soup or beside or on top of a lovely steak but that’s just me.

TO THE GAME!

Panthers/Bucs:

It’s just hard to predict how teams will react to conditions, the flight, the food, the strange accents, driving on the wrong side of the road, the buses with the extra story, the shouts of ‘guv’na’ everywhere, the fact that kickers of the ball are so revered, the fog, and so many other variables. I provide last week’s game as my primary evidence. The defense rests, yer onour.

Isn’t time you had tea? Type away, gents and lady folk.

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King Hippo

Mike Evans, Golem Hands

Senor Weaselo

He won’t get the precious that way… wait, that’s Gollum hands.

King Hippo

That was pretty stupid for a white guy ,, smgdh

herodotus450

I’ve decided to follow Yeah Right’s lead and also cut down on dairy consumption by only watching lactation porn on Mondays.

litre_cola

That is a thing eh? I was always look but don’t touch during Decilitre’s feeding phase.

Unsurprised

Misread. Please ignore.

King Hippo

THAT’s what Balls should search – one lesbian nursing another (who is also wearing a diaper)

King Hippo

yet again, I shall hope FOAR the fair catch FG attempt by MRSA

Col. Duke LaCross

YES YES YES YES

Unsurprised

Maybe Cam drives better on the left – when he’s supposed to be on the left

King Hippo

I have accepted my fate. Just traded Hopkins and David Johnson for Lindsay and Courtland Sutton (keeper league).

Horatio Cornblower

Tough, but fair

Horatio Cornblower

“Turn right at Gertrude’s, but mind her cats.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“2 miles north of the landfill” sounds like a place where a body would be buried. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, now would you, scotchy?

King Hippo

that would juice up purty good

Horatio Cornblower

I see the US lost to Tonga, a country that may or may not actually exist*, in the Rugby World Cup.

*I kid, of course, but thanks to global warming that joke will make more sense in 20-30 years.

King Hippo

should we buy this nation, just for the ruggers?

Horatio Cornblower

And allow moar immicants to take our jerbs?!? Hell no! MAGA!

King Hippo

But then they wouldn’t BE immigr…oh yeah, they’d still be brown. Never mind.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Absolutely!” – Bobby “Two-Strokes” Kraft, mishearing you.

Unsurprised

Two strokes in every Kraft Single

Unsurprised

IHATERUGGERS is the most famous P*ts fan on Twitter

yeah right

Revised breakfast includes 1 slice of whole grain toast and 1 smoothie made with 2/3 cup of orange juice, 1/3 cup of blueberries and one banana. Puree with an immersion blender and place in freezer for 13 minutes.

As for English breakfast?

I’ll have the lot.

litre_cola
Fronkenshteen

If dummy turns it over again, the buc defense will pack it in.

King Hippo
Fronkenshteen

I wish we had a military made of clones of Christian McCaffery.

Horatio Cornblower

Me too, because then my FF opponent probably wouldn’t have McCaffery on his team.

litre_cola

Scotchy I switched to the BC feed and now apparently Trevor Linden has opened a bunch of gyms to compete with Steve Nash’s apparently.

litre_cola

That name should have a shrine in this house, him and Buono are patron Saints for this family.

litre_cola

This is all lining up well, except for the beating at the hands of teh Hippo I am about to take.

herodotus450

Jameis Winston getting intercepted more than UK shipping lines in the North Sea in 1940.

Fronkenshteen

CATCH

Fronkenshteen

Boy. It’s like bad decision-making is a pattern with this guy.

King Hippo

Brits are surprised at all the punting. Surely one of these sides should try playing it out from the back?

herodotus450

Fooking poonters

litre_cola

This is some seriously bad playcalling by Riverboat Ron et al.

King Hippo

speaking of Ms. Jolie, I re-watched Gia last week. OK, 7 minutes of it.

Unsurprised

Elizabeth Mitchell is hotter in that and in general.

herodotus450

Better not let the authorities watch this game and hear about Matt Gay, or else he’s gonna be Matt ChemicallyCastrated by the time he gets back over here.

King Hippo

OJ Howard, post-Hippo cutting

Fronkenshteen

Me too. Did you get Waller?

King Hippo

Ummmm, nae. Somebody had him from the auction. I re-acquired Gerald Everett off waivers (now that all his points have been spunked away), plus Hunter Henry.

I don’t think I’ve broken 5 points from my TE slot all goddamned season.

Fronkenshteen

That’s why I removed that slot in my league. You can use them as FLEX, but you don’t have to.

Fronkenshteen

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litre_cola

Remember cut against the grain.

King Hippo

Down the street, not across the tracks!

King Hippo

Exactly what Tampa needed? I’d say Cipro in the drinking water supply.

King Hippo

English breakfast pic does help me resolve to go back on the juice, though. Made a batch last night.

3 large gala apples
2 medium zucchini
pack of 6 mini-cucumbers
container of kale
one large lime

Redshirt

Ohio has only two seasons, summer and winter. We’ve heard theories of a few other seasons, but we’ve seen no tangible evidence they exist.

litre_cola

Inlaws have the full tv package so I am watching the Atlantic Canada feed in BC.

litre_cola

None, yet however I do have my eye on a swarthy real estate agent!

litre_cola

Top o’ the mornin! Full English with no mushrooms, extra blood pudding please.

herodotus450

I’m jsut assuming that Peyton Barber is some kind of genetic experiment where some insane football journalist combined the DNA of Tiki Barber and Peyton Hillis to form the perfect RB.

King Hippo

the ONLY item on the British diarrhea breakfast plate I’d eat are the (non-blood) sausages

King Hippo

if Kyle could vulture this TD, I’d appreciate

King Hippo

I am 1-4, facing a McCaffrey AND Dalvin Cook side. It’s hopeless.

litre_cola

Except against me Hippo! you got that one in the bag

King Hippo

1-4 is money league. I am 4-1 with a REALLY BULLSHIT LOSS in DFO-ball. No moneys.

Redshirt

You know, when I imagine Angelina Jolie in leather calling herself the Mistress of Evil, it wasn’t in a Disney-produced film.

herodotus450

Well she is a Devils fan
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Fronkenshteen

Lately? She looks like she could use a sandwich.

King Hippo

Donks WOO!!! are represented by a faux-Sikh man waiting for the bus.

King Hippo

yes, HIPPO SET HIS ALARM FOAR THIS

Fronkenshteen

Well there’s a gif

Fronkenshteen

“Godwin is Clapton”

– spray painted on TB underpass

King Hippo

Does Rich Eisen have a day job? If so, he prolly shouldn’t quit it.

Fronkenshteen

I used to like him on sportscenter because if he was speaking, it meant Stuart Scott wasn’t. Usually.

King Hippo

speaking of spotted dick, THESE QBs ,, amirite??

Viva La Tabula Raza

So far the only completion has been the interception.

King Hippo

maybe Jamies couldn’t find any English ladies with enough teeth to rape last night?

Fronkenshteen

Toothless women can still eat crabmeat. Ppl forget that

Fronkenshteen

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’d think National-Anthem-singing-dude would have at least shaved for his big moment.

King Hippo

those eyes spoke of Michael Irvin-caliber beak usage

King Hippo

pretty sparse FOAR mandatory, I can’t help but notice

Fronkenshteen

KICK THE FUCKING BALL IN THE AIR

King Hippo

fuck yo Queen

Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought this was the British national anthem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvMxqcgBhWQ

King Hippo

FIST RAISED!! for mandatory FITBAW

Viva La Tabula Raza

I understand why we have to watch the Cowboys/Jets game down here in TX, but why is CBS subjecting the rest of the country to that game? Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?

Viva La Tabula Raza
herodotus450

If I remember my Pork 101 class correctly, bacon in England is like our bacon but they also leave on part of the loin, so you get a slice of that as well. That piece by itself is canadian bacon, the other part is American, and together it’s English or Euro bacon; is that like a metaphor or something?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oatmeal and pork blood? I think I’ll just stick with scrambled eggs, toast, and a Sausage McMuffin or two.

‘MURRICA!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait till you see what’s for dessert…
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