Your Tuesday Evening World Series Opener Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob
(As a Canadian, I should have gone with Joe Carter. But that was a Game 6; tonight is Game 1.)

NFL Nuggets:

  • It’s Trading Season!
    • Somehow, the Patriots still have enough cap room to acquire Mohamed Sanu from the Falcons.
      • For a 2020 second-round pick.
        • It highlights the fact that the Falcons already believe the season is over and are now active sellers in the trade market.
      • I swear to God, I will spend my remaining years researching the Patriots salary cap to find where Brady hid his off-the-books payments.
    • The Broncos traded Emmanuel Sanders to the 49ers for a third- and fourth-round pick in 2020.  
      • The Broncos also get sent a fifth-round pick.
      • Apparently, only Von Miller is unavailable, should another GM decide to call John Elway & offer him some fresh oats.
    • The Lions traded safety Quandre Diggs to the Seahawks.
      • Along with a 2021 seventh-round pick to Seattle, in exchange for a 2020 fifth-round pick back to the Lions.
        • Given the Seahawks penchant for giving up early deep balls, this makes sense.
      • Diggs’ former teammates are quite upset.

  • The Chiefs have elevated backup QB Kyle Shurmur to the starting roster from the practice squad.
    • He is the son of Giants coach Pat Shurmur.
    • This ends speculation that they were looking to bring in a third QB for the duration of Mahomes’ injury.
  • Sam Darnold says he “saw ghosts” out on the field last night, in what is clearly the most mocked thing to emerge from that Jets debacle.
    • Darnold’s nemesis, pictured right working on the Jets new plays, helped him go 0-fer during last night’s game, much like the rest of the Jets’ receivers.
    • Naturally, the thing the Jets are most upset about is the fact that ESPN broadcast the comments, and not – y’know – the effort of their QB.
      • He added the team will be thinking “really hard” about cooperating with any future requests to have players miked up by networks.
    • His teammates were more succinct:

Finally, the XFL has released its full schedule, which you can find here.

  • The season starts Saturday, February 5th, and concludes Sunday, April 26th with their championship game.
    • Unless they fold mid-season, like the AAF.
    • Every XFL game in 2020 will be televised by either ABC, ESPN, FOX or FS1.
  • As a “valued member” of the CenturyLink “family” – by virtue of my Seahawks season tickets – I have been afforded the “privilege” of early access to XFL tickets for YOUR Seattle Dragons. Here’s what you’re looking at:

  

  • Plus, there’s all these member benefits:
    • VIP Field Pass for one Dragons home game (limited time only).
    • Season ticket price-lock for the first two seasons.
    • Early access to the XFL’s Football Advisory Network: an online community that will give football fans opportunities to share their thoughts, ideas, and feedback, and help the Dragons create its football and fan experience.
      • Because if there’s one thing Vince McMahon is known for, it’s listening to the fans.
    • 25% discount on merchandise at XFL.com.
    • Priority status for playoff tickets and season ticket renewals.

Yeah, I don’t think so. Even if I didn’t think it was going to be dogshit football, because they’re only using the lower bowl, from February through April, it means you’re going to get soaked every game. Three hours drive each way just to get rained on? If I’m going to spend three hours going somewhere to get wet, something something Tijuana donkey show or weed farming with Seamus.


Since Game 1 is tonight, let’s relive one of the greatest finishes to a Game One in recent memory.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • World Series: Game 1:
      • Not Montreal Expos at Houston Astros – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
        • Sportsnet might have “Not Joe Buck” as the announcer, so that’s something.

  • NHL:
    • Canucks at Red Wings – 7:30PM | Sportsnet360
    • Leafs, Jets, Oilers & Flames are all regional coverage only tonight
  • NBA: oh yeah – season openers
    • Pelicans at Raptors – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
      • Toronto raises their banner.
    • Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
      • The guy who won them that banner plays here now.

I’ve tried, but I just – say Jay, what’s the phrase?

about basketball. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Game Time DecisionBrick MeathookUnsurprisedyeah rightMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Little Eva:

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Grand Funk Railroad:

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

BAH

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I swear to God, I will spend my remaining years researching the Patriots salary cap to find where Brady hid his off-the-books payments.

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yeah right

In another hour or so I start my 58th trip around the sun.

It would be better with acid.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Happy Birthday from the other side of LAX!

(it’s already tomorrow over here in Playa)

yeah right

FUCKING TIME ZONES MAN!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Happy Birthday.

Game Time Decision

happy birthday

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

“Man? They just a miserable pile of secrets. Now get outta my friggin’ castle.” pic.twitter.com/XFOxOeMnoh

— Page (ページ) (@ThePageofHeart) October 22, 2019

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Taubman addressed a group of three female reporters, “including one wearing a purple domestic-violence awareness bracelet” and yelled “half a dozen” times, “Thank God we got Osuna! I’m so fucking glad we got Osuna!”

Ha ha. Suck dirty stump water through a pygmy blowgun, Taubman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So I was invited to a Halloween party this Friday by this British ex-pat couple. I was gonna blow it off but decided to attend, if only to show off the costume idea I came up with, both items ordered off of Amazon this afternoon at happy hour down at my local. I will wear a cheap cardboard mask that looks like this:
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And will stain my hands with this:
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going as the blood of the Kurds.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I approve of this costume, provided it doesn’t include pants.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I was thinking of wearing the dishdasha I bought when I deployed to Kuwait, as an accessory, as well as a tribute to Jamal Khashoggi, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and the Bonesaw guy. No pants required.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That sounds like a lot of work. I like the Elvis glasses because they just slip on and off and you don’t really have to dress up:
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And you can look as suave as this guy:
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah, the dishdasha takes 30 seconds to put on (it’s been my no-effort Halloween costume for over a decade), shouldn’t take more than a couple minutes to stain my hands, and the cheap-ass cardboard mask will be tilted back immediately upon arrival so I can drink. The trickiest thing will be concealing the Colt Model 70 1911 45 cal I will feel obligated to arm myself with in case any of the Trump-felchers with whom I share this exurban sanctuary should take issue with my blatant message.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE!

rockingdog
rockingdog
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
rockingdog
rockingdog
rockingdog
rockingdog
Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

They are our very own brownshirts.
I kinda felt a small victory when I made my nephews understand that the police are NOT your friends.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Dude, some of your posts are like the internet equivalent of an out-of-body experience.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oddly enough I was high as fuck when I first watched that movie.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, is that shit for real? They are actually going to play a major league baseball game in a fucking cornfield???

King Hippo

yep, I originally thought it was Onion Sports, too

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Yes, but will it get them off their tractors?”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Important question: before or after harvest? If before, I might even watch an inning or two.

King Hippo

I hope a terrorist group bombs THE SHIT out of that “Field of Dreams Game”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How about all of Iowa?

King Hippo

ah mean, if want to be SURE you hit the target…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

They’re not even using the field from the movie.
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Motherfuckers….”
—Kevin Costner

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s play a fun game and try to guess bow many of these player are currently abusing opioids!

King Hippo

Bro, don’t PILL SHAME!! 😀

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Signed,
King Hippo, Michael Jackson, Prince, and Tom Petty.

King Hippo

#DieDoingWhatYaLove

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Allow them to start taking PEDs again and maybe it’ll even itself all out.

King Hippo

YES, let’s just have zonked-out freaks of nature again! Can do MMA fights in the off-season.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Who wants to live forever!?!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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King Hippo

I bet that’s a WAY MOAR fun crowd in Sudamerica than in Oilville

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Damn right.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Lotsa bats tonight, entertaining game so far!

King Hippo

I would like Boca Juniors to DO BETTER, but they’s all like you ain’t my REAL Dad

King Hippo

EDIT: WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Pizza Hut ad: “You can’t have football without the Hut.” Kinda clever!

Ayn Randian Omaha Steaks (Omaha Steaks International, 10909 John Galt Boulevard, Omaha, NE) advertising agent: “Let’s get Peyton Manning to do a series of ads with the punchline ‘You can’t have football without the Omaha!'”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What do you think happened the first time a toilet got clogged in Galt’s Gulch? Civil war?

Horatio Cornblower

Well the author’s fans are full of shit, so they’re probably used to it.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah, they’d probably just dig a hole and shit in it, like those Bundy neanderthals did when they occupied that nature preserve up in Oregon a few years back.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They did that to purposefully fuck with the government and specifically Native American materials at the refuge, just like they purposefully destroyed relics. And they got away with it because Obama is a pussy and the USAO’s office here in Portland is incompetent.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I was nauseated by how the government handled that whole Bundy fiasco, both the original and the sequel. (full disclosure: am federal employee/civil servant/government agent [the last of which sounds coolest)].

King Hippo

they’s just TWO MUCH GUBMENT in thar!!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Now where the fuck is my subsidy check?

King Hippo

cuz ah is #MakerNotTaker

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“It’s like starting into the Gates of Hell!”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

If the Nationals win the WS, I hope they give the bird to a WH visit.

King Hippo

Youppi! demands tribute to the Prime Minstrel instead

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

That’d be cool. And likely make our orang-utan-in-chief go berserk.

King Hippo

DFO could be Official Shoe Polish Advisor for this grand event!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Because most of the commentariat here knows shit from Shinola?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Since they were the Expos, a trip to visit President Macron at the Élysée Palace in Paris seems fair.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

What the fuck is an EXPO, anyway? Some kind of World”s Fair? What kind of mascot is that?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hookers with STIs from across the globe

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Hulu’s feed of the World Series so far has been shakier than Trent Green’s spoon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamnit, LCSS, that was a perfect Ryan Leaf / Todd Marinovich joke and YOU BLEW IT.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Just like Ryan Leaf had to in order to score that dime bag.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Traditionally, the blowing is done after you buy the drugs.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Nice try, Todd. I’m not falling for that one again.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck you Sinclair Televison Group and fuck your Full Measure.

Gratliff

Sinclair really giving Vince a run for his money as most soulless promotion owner

Fronkenshteen

Max’s last hitter?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Max’s friends, debating whether to take the bong away from him

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Nationals tied it up,with a dinger, while Joe Buck claims Soto bats clean up and “just cleaned up,” with no one else on base.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing is, Joe Buck is very casually racist and was just making a housekeeper joke.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

King Hippo

ah, that old school Republican White Lady Hair!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

STILL fashionable in some bastions south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Fronkenshteen

Did a 4-man, 3-hitter draft for this game. Grabbed two left handed hitters in Eaton and Álvarez and took Zimmerman with my third pick. Not bad so far, I guess.

King Hippo

Man, that would have been a sweet-ass own goal

King Hippo

I can’t imagine the beisbol is MOAR dull than this scoreless lesser footy.

/huh, I stand corrected

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Joe Buck:
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“JJ Watt was pumping up the crowd while wearing an Altuve jersey before the game,”
Of course he was.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

#nooffdays
#riseandgrind
#brokemybackhumblebragging

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I would wish for his brain to fail him mid-game, but he doesn’t even have one.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

He makes Gronk seem like a Rhodes Scholar.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I see no comments from the America’s Hat contingent this evening regarding the results of y’all’s election. Reactions at all?

King Hippo

From what I’ve read, the result was exactly in line with polling/expectations.

nomonkeyfun

Did the moose or the beaver win?

King Hippo

the start of el match has been delayed by what looks to be a fuckton of 4×6 index cards on the pitch

Gratliff

Speaking of WWE, it seems physically impossible that 2k is puking out a game that appears to have regressed a decade graphically
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Gratliff

That autocorrected from putting and I can’t disagree

Gratliff
Senor Weaselo

Ride to Hell in a Cell?
/Someone get Yahtzee to rag on Madden 20

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Ah, I see they’re following the “EA Method” now.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m getting a pedicure right now! Ha ha fuck you!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Making sure you have that nice gap so she look right up your leg? I like your style.

Gratliff

Thoughtful of them to provide a fan for your balls

King Hippo

Ugh, that’s so creepy sez the Hippo who gets his eyebrows waxed

herodotus450
herodotus450

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

If that Joe Buck tweet is legit, then I must admit I have an electron or two more respect for him for at least being able to laugh at himself and have a little self-awareness. He still sucks though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sure it is – he’s lightened up considerably over the years. He’s still a terrible broadcaster, but doesn’t seem to be as much of a terrible human being as I originally thought he was.

King Hippo

wasn’t there something about how he loved the Brockmire bit?

Gratliff

AEW Dark is such a good idea that I can’t figure out why WWE didn’t do it first. Take all your shit you couldn’t fit on your show, throw it on YouTube, and build some good faith with your fanbase. It’s basically the same production method they used for 205 Live but without the pretentiousness and network subscription. Looking forward to little ass Darby Allin becoming a household name. This mother fucker let a guy put him in a body bag and throw him out of the ring. Just a fucking terrible idea.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Don’t they have a whole network to throw that onto? I can’t read.

Gratliff

They don’t put dark matches (matches put on before or after the TV taping) on there and you’d still have to pay for it. Unless you’re talking about TNT which to my knowledge is dead air outside of NBA games, then probably.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT! I fell asleep on my couch right as Kirk Gibson came out of the dugout, though my mind registered same as an interesting thingamabob. Woke up during the late local news, and even they were talking about it.

/also will mostly be watching BeIn, as I have moneys on Boca Juniors against River Plate.

//there will also be less comerciales

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Fell asleep”.

King Hippo

hey, that was pre-nods era! 😀

Senor Weaselo

Oh, they’ll be rioting in Buenos Aires!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That MRA dickhead from Houston made it really, really easy for me to pick who I’m rooting for in this World Series.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Which one?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up

https://deadspin.com/astros-drop-failed-smear-campaign-against-sports-illust-1839269728

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah. I’ve pulled for the Stros since I moved to South Texas in 1976, they were my NL team because as a native-born Masshole of course the Red Sox were my AL team. But then they got moved to direct competition with the Sox (fuck you Rangers), so I would not be able to cheer them each season until one or the other of them was out of contention.
But the bullshit with that asshole was a bridge too far. Go Nats.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Tom Brady is the undisputed greatest quarterback in NFL history

Big Daddy Drew has lost his fucking mind.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well, it did try to shut itself off last December…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Stockholm Syndrome.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Seahawks absolutely stole Diggs from Detroit.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck.

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Game Time Decision

As a long time guy doing printing for a living,this sucks

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Just use Comic Sans for everything you print. Even if it’s the Bible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Donks gave them a 5th and Sanders for the 3rd and 4th.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’m curious to see what happens with the Lakers/Clippers game – someone raised $43k to hand out pro Hong Kong shirts.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They made Donald Sterling sell the Clippers because he called Magic Johnson the n-word.

Adam Silver will burn down the fucking Staples Center with everyone in it.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Guarantee no shots of fans in the stands.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

A “Joe Buck Sucks” t shirt would be a much less boring broadcaster than Joe Buck.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Darnold already has CTE?

King Hippo

mild-to-moderate retardation (aka “Touch of Downs”)

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

As a 14 year old in Southern California, I recorded the entirety of the 1988 World Series and re-watched Gibson’s home run enough to wear out the tape. Little did I know this would become a Brownsian torture as the Dodgers have continued to fail, often spectacularly, over the subsequent 31 years.

The Dodgers show the goddamn homerun ALL THE TIME. I believe it’s on the Diamondvision board before every single home game. And of course, when they make the playoffs, they play it for a national audience, usually 4 to 7 games before LA’s season blows up.

Edit: it’s still the greatest positive sports moment I’ve ever seen in my lifetime and of course the Dodgers should be proud of it. It’s a top ten baseball moment. (The greatest negative moment for me would be when the Eagles stripped Brady a couple years back.)

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hell I remember watching it probably once per Tigers game on tv, possibly just because Gibson once played for Detroit.