[kicks empty vodka bottles under couch, turns around]
Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Gotdamn! A lot of stuff happened today and I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it all so I think youse folks should take care of that down below.
To those folks that are wandering in for the first, second or third time, this is a spot where you can yak about what went down today/yesterday. Or you can chat about the game. We here at DFO welcome all kinds of respectful, funny, observant, cool, thick-skinned typers from all corners of the cube. (take that, flat-earthers!) Do you want to chat about Trent Williams failing his physical? Or maybe Josh Gordon getting off the weed and the I.R.? We’re all ears.
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Cards:
Breida is a go but David Johnson is not. If you’re like me and have to play Kyle Murray because you’re in bye week hell be aware that since San Franny have come off their bye week they’ve given up 11.5 fantasy points to opposing qb’s. That’s a total, not a per game average. Krikey! Expect te Kittle to get off big time-Arizonny has given up 8 TD’s to that position so far this year. The magical Kenyan is up to bat but he’s going nowhere vs. this insane D.
My game intros on Sunday will be much better-I promise! Just so you’re aware of what’s coming up in the next few days-Friday night we’ll have pics of scantily-clad ladies. Saturday morning we’ll have an open thread where we chat about the soccer games on offer and then transition to the college football games on offer. On Sunday there’ll be quadruple open thread action because of the early London game. If you happen to be a day drinker you’ll be in very, very good, non-judgmental company.
That’s it for me, now it’s you.
You guys, I’m starting to think the 49ers are not awful. I’m just worried this might be a bit premature…
They will see you in the Superb Owl!
At this point, it would be pretty interesting if both teams were undefeated going into SB LIV. Garofolo worked for Mass Satan for a few years, I reckon BB might know some of Jimmy’s weak spots?
Just watch, Sony Michel will go for 220 and 4 TDs, Superb Owl MVP? DREAMBOAT because leader obvs
Wait. Was only partially paying attention. Was that the fucking CARDINALS that called TO? holy shit.
Yeah, it took me a minute to figure that out. Talk about stepping on your own dick, then pulling out a 1911 .45 cal Colt and shooting yourself in that very same dick as a chaser. Christ.
Oh, Kliffy.
FUCKING LOL
Icing the Refs
Jim Irsay tried to do that one time but the narcs called the damed cops on him!
Thanks for the do-over, Qards
Hey! We don’t use that term h…
Oh. Oh Qards. I apologize, but you can understand my confusion as that time-out was really requarded.
On the chromosomes of that play:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV6oJWsSDRw
Ahahahaha. My favorite thing ever; a head coach thinking the defense won’t be able to stop a short run without his genius help and he completely fucks over the D.
I’m fine with it. You do you Kliff. I’ll happily take those 6 Sanders pts which never should have happened.
Attention parents: Never name your kid alliteratively. They will be a moron. Especially if you use an oddball spelling instead of traditional (you know, Kliff versus Cliff? WTF is that even?).
Love listening to Oirish Blarney Stone kissing leprechaun doing the color.
Nice goal line stand to finish the half. Edit: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Puppy has hit the “I’m so fucking okay with stairs now. Fuck yeah, I’m gonna sit on these motherfuckers for no reason.” phase of a dog’s life. I nearly die 4 times every time I try to use them. It’s great.
Oh Klifff you are a moron.
froze his defense LMAO
GO FOR IT!
you fuckadoodles owe me a TevinDOWN
If Jimmy G learned anything from Tom Brady, Samuel is going to turn up dead in a dumpster tomorrow.
Am starting to see why they’d give Donks WOO! a 3rd for Sanders…
He’s not bad when he has a real QB throwing the ball to him.
I feel like Emmanuel Sanders would have had a place on KSK’s most average 100 countdown.
lofty drop
HAIL BLEERGH, from whom all blessings flow
When the fuck did the Cardinals stop playing at “Phoenix Online Barber University” and moved to “State Farm Annoying Commercial” Stadium?
49ers are done fucking around. They’re panning hard for the gold.
Balls search term – panning hard for the gold
That might be ok…
MexiFooty on Univision Deportes. No es competitivo, que lastima
There might be some halftime Charlie Brown.
Cousin Fuckers-Rapey U is the football equivalent of watching a glass of milk curdle in the July sun.
@BFC Are you watching this game? What channel?
can watch on twitch
He claimed TNF wasn’t shown on Fox. I’m just wondering what other insane network would hire Joe Buck to broadcast football.
simulcast, Fox y NFLN
I really want to listen to the UK announcers that JSD is talking about, but the prompts on Prime pop up and disappear so fast that I can not figure out how to do it and that really pisses me off. Fucking telephone TV. So, I DO get the options icon to select UK broadcast when I pull it up on my laptop, but I have to toggle back and forth between game and DFO. Or switch to DFO on phone and put on reading glasses.
Fuck it, this game looks like it’s going in the shitter anyway. Maybe I’ll take Spur’s advice and try and find Spurs-Clips game.
Edit, Fucking Spurs game ain’t on for another hour. How’s WVU Baylor? Not a blowout at least. Fuck, it’s almost halftime. Guess I’ll just load a bowl and go pour three fingers of scotch on a giant scotch ice cube.
Usually taking Spur’s advice leads to a 2 day hangover.
Same thing happens when I follow my own instincts/advice.
Games starts in an hour. Pop wants this game. They already said Murray is out next game – rest.
The Storm-Kremer feed is pretty good too
Buck just said Drake had a “nice 1st half” at 69 yards. Scotchy just killed another hobo.
The new GMC pickup: she’ll take everything you got and more in the back.
So she’s like my ex with everyone but me?
How dare you sir! Your ex is a fine woman, and the 20 men in front of me couldn’t agree more.
Tell her ‘hey’ for me, and also that the cat died.
I was led to believe the pussy was fine
No, that’s the wagon.
Why does the BayBay coach always dress like a creeper?
Is…is he Scotchy??
Rusty Lisch sounds like a porn star name.
Or a venereal disease.
Cardinales are destined to trade Kyler to the Browns so they can draft the next Okie quarterback, Jalen Hurtz.
I would suggest we could watch the Spurs/Clippers game but its not on nationally.
It’s also the NBA. Unless it’s Nets playoffs, no way.
#NETSHOUSE
/pours one out for Ian
British play by play are taking tweet questions….
“Yes fans….despite the name, the men can use their hands”
That opening 10 minutes of Qardinals Qompetence was fun while it lasted
They peaked early.
Niners Pack NFC final?
that would be sweet….
I think so. Talking to a retired client earlier tghis week – we both agreed it’s all about the 2nd seed for GB. If the Saints have to go there, Breesus in the cold? Not happening.
Santa Clara isn’t the most intimidating environment, but I’d still favour them like 60/40 over A.A. Ron
Some halloween sexy
She’s gonna be chilly trick or treating.
I like the Bat-garters tho…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK2zzhgMlJA
Ghost Adventures is new right now. Looks like they are doing the Bell Witch house.
As a Browns fan….I am loving these nation wide Baker Mayfield commercials cause the guy clearly is a winner….
last funny:
dracula is the best costume because you can wear most of it and still go to a wedding
Good time to mention that the Netflix Castlevania adaptation is extremely good. They even throw in Bloody Tears during the climactic fight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Dil4FhKCjQ
yeah the first half season was a little shaky but the back half is solid
I like how I don’t need the order of the scores or the fact that green bay doesn’t have cheerleaders to let me know that’s a Vikings cheerleader.
They don’t have women in Wisconsin like that
Skinny meth addicts? Sure they do.
If that’s meth addict I really need to brush on my knowledge or recreational drugs
There’s nothing recreational about meth
Damn Right – A Rodgers.
“Oh yeah, I’d sex traffic her.” – Dan Snyder
Ppl forget that,,,
“Hi! I’m not smart enough to throw the ball away when I’m under pressure.”
-Kyler
Joe Buck was trying to get Aikman to play a Bosa These Nuts routine there
Kittle my bits and Bosa my nuts, sonny.
So I have 10 pounds of chocolate next to my door because apparently the lil precious snowflakes can’t handle a little “extremely hazardous freezing rain”. I’m sure my doctor won’t have any thoughts on this timeline at all.
#KidsToday
Always dress up as Gordon’s Fisherman so you are prepared for these nights and can cleanup.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS AND GIRLS?!?!
/slaps asses. Hard.
2nd and 29, better call a timeout to save 5 yards.
NFL BLITZ!
This needs, LIEK, so much MOAR Tevin
Done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Ns_uiu-yg
Their D is so good. -Houston at the 500.
Jesus Christ, Joe Buck again
you’d think that cockweasel would take a day or two off, but NOOOOOOO
“You’re blaming the wrong guy for him. Take it up with my dad.”
-J. H. Christ
I recently looked him up to figure out why he looks like such a ghoul and I came across some articles where he talked about his addiction to hair plugs! ??
Did I get incepted or was Antonio Brown not the first guest on the singing mask show?
“not since Prince Edward on the Epstein rape island have I seen tight end play like this!”
Spicy British play by play….
I think the real Buddha could’ve covered Kittle better.
True enlightenment is not found in meditation but in trucking safeties
Should you meet the safety on your journey to the end zone, you kill the safety
Both of these replies are banner-worthy, but the new guy gets bonus points for coming out swinging