[kicks empty vodka bottles under couch, turns around]
Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Gotdamn! A lot of stuff happened today and I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it all so I think youse folks should take care of that down below.
To those folks that are wandering in for the first, second or third time, this is a spot where you can yak about what went down today/yesterday. Or you can chat about the game. We here at DFO welcome all kinds of respectful, funny, observant, cool, thick-skinned typers from all corners of the cube. (take that, flat-earthers!) Do you want to chat about Trent Williams failing his physical? Or maybe Josh Gordon getting off the weed and the I.R.? We’re all ears.
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Cards:
Breida is a go but David Johnson is not. If you’re like me and have to play Kyle Murray because you’re in bye week hell be aware that since San Franny have come off their bye week they’ve given up 11.5 fantasy points to opposing qb’s. That’s a total, not a per game average. Krikey! Expect te Kittle to get off big time-Arizonny has given up 8 TD’s to that position so far this year. The magical Kenyan is up to bat but he’s going nowhere vs. this insane D.
My game intros on Sunday will be much better-I promise! Just so you’re aware of what’s coming up in the next few days-Friday night we’ll have pics of scantily-clad ladies. Saturday morning we’ll have an open thread where we chat about the soccer games on offer and then transition to the college football games on offer. On Sunday there’ll be quadruple open thread action because of the early London game. If you happen to be a day drinker you’ll be in very, very good, non-judgmental company.
That’s it for me, now it’s you.
I am so very uncomfortable
It’s because we had to wear pants for all the new people.
Uhhh shit really?
Bullshit. Our official recruiting slogan was “No ads. No Sponsors. No pants”
Don’t tell me I bought this kilt for nothing.
UPSKIRT SELFIE OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!
GO NADS!
Pants only apply because I may have to throw candy at sexy kids.
Replace candy with wafers and you could be relocated by the archdiocese.
Goddammit. This is what happens when I have two martinis at lunch and sleep through the 3 o’clock meeting.
Apologies if you’ve seen this joke:
“Hey, when did we get a dog?”
-Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
That’s outstanding.
Kingsbury’s Daddy should slap his Momma on the mouth for cheating on him with Andy Reid.
That’s some business name.
my kinda gal
http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/now-this-I-can-fap-to.gif
Google says it’s Lexi Belle
Challenge the spot.
Ummmm, forcing a punt at 2:00 and forcing one at 1:15 is a yuuuuuuuuuggggge difference. And NO WAY will he win this spot challenge.
Jimmy Garoppolo is the one who throws the ball Troy? YOU DON’T SAY
We fantasy GMs who start Breida have a chant. It’s called “Fuck data (We stubborn)”.
Between my opponent starting Jimmy G and me starting the SF defense I think I can go ahead and write-off a FF win this weekend.
is nice to be able to do so early
Really saves a lot of time.
Enjoy your present from Donks WOO!!! Ms. Nel!
WOO!
ULTRA-MEGA-SUDDEN CHANGE IN WACO
-Janet Reno
Shit. Who shot who?
At the Copa…. Copacabana!
/looks around warily
//guess this wasn’t karaoke night
Then forgot about Drake…
Motherfuckers act like they forgot about Drake
yeah, we at DFO can haz ALL TEH STREET CRED
Dammit
Double dammit
Huh. Ain’t see that coming.
O/U on domestic abusers on the NFL’s top 100 list?
I’ll say 44.
Why is that funny? Happens to me all the time, and it fucking hurts! I should have my pool filled in.
Because I’m an asshole
Book called “Stranger in a Strange Land,” Robert Heinlein. Earth boy raised by Martians returns to Earth. Goes through a bunch of shit, but can’t understand humor. Finally, goes to a zoo and sees monkeys tormenting each other and onlooking humans laughing, comes to the conclusion that “funny is when someone else is suffering.” Pretty accurate, if you think about it.
“Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die.” ― Mel Brooks.
I don’t necessarily believe everything Heinlein wrote anymore, but he’s right about that.
Bernie was ZODIAC MF
After being advised here last night that I could keep up to date with ZMF via Twitter, I signed up today. That shit is complicated.
I find twitter to be basically unusable without TweetDeck. It turns one needlessly confusing feed into 5+ needlessly confusing feeds.
You can close those columns.
Oh, I’m well aware. Those are the ones I added.
Gotcha. I just visit the site on Incognito
John Lynch is just playing Angry Birds every time the camera pans to him.
Greetings. Why do I keep hearing this voice hissing in my ear, STICK TO SPORTS?
Holy damn. The Ice Stampeders may have the goal of the year vs. the Ice Titans
They played like shit the 1st 2 periods and had an unreal 3rd. Tkachuk can play.
Damn, that was some nice pocket presence.
There is only one Denis Leary christmas special:
I guess the Brits aren’t offended by the [*Redacted] s name. They probably wouldn’t mind a side being name the WOGs or PAKIs or something else equally offensive. I mean, they practically invented the concept of “here’s looking down at you,” dint they?
Flags for the flag god!
Cardinals look like a team that’s gearing up to win 12 in a season soon and I’m not particularly okay with it. They should trade for Bruce Arians.
Hahahahahaha!
You fool.
I still wish Fitz had won that Super Bowl.
Month of macabre concludes.
And if you get this joke, bless your heart
I don’t understand who it was that was crying for the return of Mad About You
Terrible, just terrible. My parents watch it religiously. Nothing on? Let’s watch Mad about You. It is infuriating.
Paul Reiser would be my guess.
So, their kid would be like 30 now?
They’re not Mad, it’s just Alzheimer’s swiss-cheesing their brains
1 more drink!
Don’t mind if I do!
I really like the Cards unis, I do think it would look better with a burgundy helmet though.
Color rush doesn’t allow helmet changes but those throwback steeler unis do?
Merry Halloween from the Aqua Teens:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oHiNythbZY
Youngest GTD just got in from tricker treating and was given half an onion as one of the treats. Not even sure what to think about it
Must’ve stopped by Jim Tomsula’s shantytown.
PUT IT ON YOUR BELT!!!!!!!
After watching a couple of pretty interesting and competitive TNF games this season, glad to see things returning to the mean.
Was only a matter of time.
Need a FG!
Hopkins in blueface? Das RAYCESS!!
Now Blueface isn’t cool??
-J. Trudeau
#BlueLivesMatter
Obligatory:
Bought a shitload of full sized candy bars to give out because my dying grandmother used to do the same thing, and I’ve had like six kids all night and half of them weren’t even dressed up.
More for you. Or leave them in the clubhouse, I’m sure they’ll disappear from there
Trying to burn clean these days so I can get skin-removal this winter. I’d take them to work, but there’s only like four of us.
Scotchy will do skin removal for free!
Organs too. Dude has to support his lavish lifestyle.
Heh, Something like that.
Doing God’s work though. 8 year old me salutes you
Ok the Thriller celly was good.
you thrill her, you’ll soon have a celly (see above)
HAVE A NIGHT, Janeane!!
SUDDEN CHANGE?!?! Irish guy says no.
The slow motion of the not fumble with all the turf flying around looked awesome
SUDDEN CHANGE IN WACO
I remember being really excited for that album freshman year of high school
Strange now the nurse never looks like that when I get my prostate checked
And when I imagine that my doctor doesn’t like it.
Regarding the UK booth call: How many people in Britain give a fuck about a regular season NFL football game in a foreign country? It’s not like there are Americans who give a fuck about English Soc… (thinks about every Saturday morning post on DFO) …uh, never mind.
IN Scotland I had the North American tv package, My place was full every Sunday night with people from all over who had a connection to the USA somehow. Lion fans everywhere strangely enough.
Most people try to get as far away from Detroit as possible
Why do you think they still have volunteers to spend the winter at McMurdo Sound and Amundsen station? It’s not just the cool wintering over medal the Navy gives you.
There were a bunch of Brits, all flavors (Irish, Scotch, Welsh, and English), that provided my personal security detail when I was deployed to Afghanistan in the fall of 2007 (P*ts undefeated regular season, 18-1, you know….). The games were broadcast live on the Armed Forces Network, and came on around midnight or so (it was weird watching SNF at the chow hall Monday morning during breakfast). These Brits would come in from their drinking and make fun of the NFL action we were following. “What the fook, is that a bunch of astronauts out there on the pitch? What’s all that shit they’re wearing?” They were all rugger fans, and the NFL never caught on with them.
Oh shit. Facebook reminding me of this gem from Jerrahl when Tubby Wade was crashing the Cowboys into the side of a mountain back in 2010. What a glorious era.
J.J. should have made Wade his Defensive Coordinator for Life. How SBs has Son of Bum won as DC?
Interesting time to play “Cruel Summer”
I’ve had the door bell rang three times. i think word has gotten out Spur house is not passing out candy.
It’s Halloween, so I need to watch the 1994 TV movie, Without Warning later.
The boy’s 12 now and tonight was Children of the Corn and Hellraiser. Hellraiser may have been a bit much. I don’t think I had seen it since I was his age.
I mean, Hippo saw Faces of Death at like age 9 and I turned out JUST FINE
I was 12 when my dad watched Pulp Fiction with me in the room. What a great dungeon scene!
Me and my dad watched Team America with my mom in the room. The puppet porn scene kinda made the room a little suffocating, for me at least. I was not 12, but in my forties.
Scotchy says the very same thing as he slits some random hobo’s throat.
Buddy of mine at the wine bar went to the OAK-HOU game on Sunday. He told me tonight that the tailgaters were split about 60-40 Texans-Raiders, and the Raiders fans were just as dressed up as if they were at Oakland Colosseum. One fan’s costume he noted was a guy with a pasty white face and the “Pinhead” thing on his scalp, and a long leather cloak that said “HELLRAIDERS” on the back. Sounds pretty cool.