T’was a long weekend as far as the footballing was concerned so let’s check on the-
Fallout-
-Out for the year are D-Jax and Preston Williams.
-Out for the year for other reasons is one Jermaine Whitehead. Having missed several tackles during the game, he tried to tackle some folks on twitter and, uh, it did not go well.
-In related news, Freddie Kitchens breathed a sigh of relief when his key card to the Browns facility worked earlier this morning. Team GM John Dorsey later commented, “Fred did a great job-in the whirlpool, keeping his head above water”.
-Seguing to another struggling coach-Dan Quinn ‘shook up’ his coaching staff. No one was fired but several assistants were looking for their new seats on the Atlanta Hindenburg.
-The Dolphins’ Kalen Ballage is out there playing 3D chess while the rest of us are trying to guess heads or tails. The guy managed to get Kenyan Drake traded and then follows it up by spiking new rb starter Mark Walton’s energy drink to the tune of a four game suspension. Dude has read his Sun Tzu.
TO THE GAMES!
Cowboys/Giants:
Oh boy. As a Giants fan that knows that Dallas hasn’t lost to my team for three years now, it ain’t look good. The Giants have trouble defending between the sideline and the numbers and that’s where DAK! shines. He leads all qb’s in completion %, yards per attempt and passer rating on attempts to that spot. Cooper will go off. Engram will get about 72.4 yards. (it’s his average vs. the ‘Boys) Zeke will run for 100+. Daniel Jones will fumble at least once. It is written.
Get at it.
just run it with zeke and let Maher try a 60 yarder
just call a slant or slant-and-go, dipshit
Like Robert Kraft at a massage parlor?
-Bill P., Scranton, PA.
C’mon NFL. Catch up to the proper hand signals:
Note the replay officials just allowed Garrett to take back that brilliant off tackle run call with less than 30 seconds left and a field goal kicker who has missed once already. This is White Privilege at its finest!
indeed
oh, chuh chuh
Looks like the halftime salute to Eli Manning started a little too early.
Bad throw, receiver didn’t track, the Giants in primetime
Clock struck midnight earlier than expected.
woopsie doodle
ffs daniel jones
Arm punt
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1191543390577528834
Kevin Harlan enjoys things on the field that are not normally on the field. Science.
“Someone cover Eli’s eyes before there’s another wardobe malfunction!” – a panicked Olivia Manning upon hearing there was a “black cat” sighting at the game.
Mikey brought Jerrah the GOOD coke tonight!
All that and only down 2. I;’ll take it.
What’s a Blake Jarwin and why is Blake Jarwin?
MEESA TIGHT ENDSA
Roger Goodell wearing camo-how can someone be so out of touch?
it gets him hard, maybe?
He saw what happened to Trump at the Nationals game and the MMA fights – Goodell is hoping the audience won’t see him.
In his defense, he is a huge coward
Roger Goodell is a national disgrace,,, Ppl forget that
/takes camo tuxedo out of suitcase, packs regular tuxedo for Scotchnaut’s bar mitzvah.
Bar mitzvah? That’s the last time I stumble in drunk and sing “Od Yishoma” then. Also I have no idea what the words are because I don’t know Hebrew.
I’m debating whether a sticky is also auto-entry for the 2020 bracket because how often do we get one?
Yes
Ah, of course, the Gints
National Disgrace (Not Trump) Sighting!
I want to hear Kevin Harlan’s call of the cat on the field.
Above.
Zeke turned into cj2k so quickly I noticed immediately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOgSm7EQA2Y
We shouldn’t be showing videos of pu-
/gets hogtied and dragged behind the DFO limo
Everton turned it into a pet adoption campaign, as there were thousands of inquiries re adopting the lucky, pitch invader cat.
Speaking of Everton, how is Gomes?
Still lusting after Morticia all those years later.
4-6 months is the best case estimate, but was apparently a clean break and dislocation of the ankle, and the surgery went as well as it could.
Darth is probably just a less cynical DogRates, but I do enjoy the content
Daniel Jones is a scoop of ice milk on a rice cake.
“Whoa, let’s not get crazy now.”–
Joe F., Denver, CO
That’s some ALPHA SWAGGER right there! I actually had a similarly broad-shouldered black cat once. He was the only one who I asked for permission to propose, some 24 years ago. Hawkeye was his name, and he truly wasn’t fat – built like a goddamned tank. Like 17-18 pounds.
1) It was a capybara
2) It was also a drug-fueled hallucination
#FoodFOARThought
The mouse had no chance.
Good thing Aaron Rodgers wasn’t there, else he might’ve ea-
/gets dragged behind the DFO offices and beaten all to hell
Sexy. Who’s a naughty little dessert?
GS says “cream pie”
SLOW MO KITTY
Within 3 in Money League, up 2 in DFO-ball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuUrNukZxvc
Black Cat?
Giants gonna score right about meow.
I think that’s most effort I’ve ever seen from Jay Cutler.
This is past feline to gain.
Jesus, dude can take a punch. Too bad he’s not a lady, he could court Tyreek Hill…
Dallas and Philly are the most schizo fucking teams in the league right now and it makes it real hard to get a feel for how much I should care
Don’t carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre
-Smoking Jay
Technically, it’s
Why, yes, that is a pinned Note. Why do you ask?
That cat was well fed. Jared Lorenzen is that you?
lol Engram with the irish whip first down
I need more Engram. Specifically, 2 receiving TDs will give me a win.
That was one seriously freaked-out cat.
ELi wants to take home the cat
Cat is doing better at getting the crowd into the game than either team
This cat is more entertaining than the game.
Booo bring back the star
CATGATE!
PITCH INVASION!!!!
/this was good luck for Everton last season
Dreamboat just threw up watching Daniel Jones actually block someone.
Are you sure it wasn’t cause he accidentally bit into a strawberry?
So, they’re really working this “Danny Dimes” thing hard.
BIT ON THE NOSE
Daniel got lit up. Please keep making him the lead blocker
MANNINGFACE WOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Based on my international travels of the last 90 days, I can confidently state based on personal observation:
1) The UK has the stupidest TV commercials;
2) Canada closely follows with the second stupidest TV commercials;
3) Surprisingly, the United States of America, birthplace of Thomas Edison and adopted home of Albert Einstein, is only third in this category.