Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

T’was a long weekend as far as the footballing was concerned so let’s check on the-

Fallout-

-Out for the year are D-Jax and Preston Williams.

-Out for the year for other reasons is one Jermaine Whitehead. Having missed several tackles during the game, he tried to tackle some folks on twitter and, uh, it did not go well.

-In related news, Freddie Kitchens breathed a sigh of relief when his key card to the Browns facility worked earlier this morning. Team GM John Dorsey later commented, “Fred did a great job-in the whirlpool, keeping his head above water”.

-Seguing to another struggling coach-Dan Quinn ‘shook up’ his coaching staff. No one was fired but several assistants were looking for their new seats on the Atlanta Hindenburg.

-The Dolphins’ Kalen Ballage is out there playing 3D chess while the rest of us are trying to guess heads or tails. The guy managed to get Kenyan Drake traded and then follows it up by spiking new rb starter Mark Walton’s energy drink to the tune of a four game suspension. Dude has read his Sun Tzu.

TO THE GAMES!

Cowboys/Giants:

Oh boy. As a Giants fan that knows that Dallas hasn’t lost to my team for three years now, it ain’t look good. The Giants have trouble defending between the sideline and the numbers and that’s where DAK! shines. He leads all qb’s in completion %, yards per attempt and passer rating on attempts to that spot. Cooper will go off. Engram will get about 72.4 yards. (it’s his average vs. the ‘Boys) Zeke will run for 100+. Daniel Jones will fumble at least once. It is written.

Get at it.

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Spur

just run it with zeke and let Maher try a 60 yarder

King Hippo

just call a slant or slant-and-go, dipshit

SonOfSpam

Like Robert Kraft at a massage parlor?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Bill P., Scranton, PA.

Sharkbait

C’mon NFL. Catch up to the proper hand signals: comment image

Downfield Matriculator

Note the replay officials just allowed Garrett to take back that brilliant off tackle run call with less than 30 seconds left and a field goal kicker who has missed once already. This is White Privilege at its finest!

Spur

indeed

King Hippo

oh, chuh chuh

litre_cola

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Looks like the halftime salute to Eli Manning started a little too early.

Gratliff

Bad throw, receiver didn’t track, the Giants in primetime

SonOfSpam

Clock struck midnight earlier than expected.

King Hippo

woopsie doodle

Gratliff

ffs daniel jones

Spur

Arm punt

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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SonOfSpam

Kevin Harlan enjoys things on the field that are not normally on the field. Science.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Someone cover Eli’s eyes before there’s another wardobe malfunction!” – a panicked Olivia Manning upon hearing there was a “black cat” sighting at the game.

Fronkenshteen

Mikey brought Jerrah the GOOD coke tonight!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

All that and only down 2. I;’ll take it.

SonOfSpam

What’s a Blake Jarwin and why is Blake Jarwin?

MEESA TIGHT ENDSA

King Hippo

it gets him hard, maybe?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He saw what happened to Trump at the Nationals game and the MMA fights – Goodell is hoping the audience won’t see him.

Gratliff

In his defense, he is a huge coward

Unsurprised

Roger Goodell is a national disgrace,,, Ppl forget that

Viva La Tabula Raza

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SonOfSpam

/takes camo tuxedo out of suitcase, packs regular tuxedo for Scotchnaut’s bar mitzvah.

Senor Weaselo

Bar mitzvah? That’s the last time I stumble in drunk and sing “Od Yishoma” then. Also I have no idea what the words are because I don’t know Hebrew.

Senor Weaselo

I’m debating whether a sticky is also auto-entry for the 2020 bracket because how often do we get one?

Unsurprised

Yes

Gratliff

Ah, of course, the Gints

Sharkbait

National Disgrace (Not Trump) Sighting!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to hear Kevin Harlan’s call of the cat on the field.

Sharkbait

Above.

Fronkenshteen

Zeke turned into cj2k so quickly I noticed immediately.

Gratliff

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King Hippo
SonOfSpam

We shouldn’t be showing videos of pu-

/gets hogtied and dragged behind the DFO limo

litre_cola

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King Hippo

Everton turned it into a pet adoption campaign, as there were thousands of inquiries re adopting the lucky, pitch invader cat.

Sharkbait

Speaking of Everton, how is Gomes?

SonOfSpam

Still lusting after Morticia all those years later.

King Hippo

4-6 months is the best case estimate, but was apparently a clean break and dislocation of the ankle, and the surgery went as well as it could.

Gratliff

Darth is probably just a less cynical DogRates, but I do enjoy the content
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Fronkenshteen

Daniel Jones is a scoop of ice milk on a rice cake.

WCS

“Whoa, let’s not get crazy now.”–

Joe F., Denver, CO

King Hippo

That’s some ALPHA SWAGGER right there! I actually had a similarly broad-shouldered black cat once. He was the only one who I asked for permission to propose, some 24 years ago. Hawkeye was his name, and he truly wasn’t fat – built like a goddamned tank. Like 17-18 pounds.

SonOfSpam

1) It was a capybara
2) It was also a drug-fueled hallucination

King Hippo

#FoodFOARThought

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The mouse had no chance.

SonOfSpam

Good thing Aaron Rodgers wasn’t there, else he might’ve ea-

/gets dragged behind the DFO offices and beaten all to hell

litre_cola

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SonOfSpam

Sexy. Who’s a naughty little dessert?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GS says “cream pie”

Gratliff

SLOW MO KITTY

King Hippo

Within 3 in Money League, up 2 in DFO-ball

Viva La Tabula Raza
WCS

I think that’s most effort I’ve ever seen from Jay Cutler.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is past feline to gain.

King Hippo

Jesus, dude can take a punch. Too bad he’s not a lady, he could court Tyreek Hill…

Gratliff

Dallas and Philly are the most schizo fucking teams in the league right now and it makes it real hard to get a feel for how much I should care

Game Time Decision

Don’t carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre
-Smoking Jay

Unsurprised

Technically, it’s

DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE

Why, yes, that is a pinned Note. Why do you ask?

Spur

That cat was well fed. Jared Lorenzen is that you?

Gratliff

lol Engram with the irish whip first down

TheRevanchist

I need more Engram. Specifically, 2 receiving TDs will give me a win.

Spoiler
I’m not going to win.

Petronel

That was one seriously freaked-out cat.

Spur

ELi wants to take home the cat

Game Time Decision

Cat is doing better at getting the crowd into the game than either team

Dunstan

This cat is more entertaining than the game.

Gratliff

Booo bring back the star

Sharkbait

CATGATE!

King Hippo

PITCH INVASION!!!!

/this was good luck for Everton last season

WCS

Dreamboat just threw up watching Daniel Jones actually block someone.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you sure it wasn’t cause he accidentally bit into a strawberry?

Dunstan

So, they’re really working this “Danny Dimes” thing hard.

Gratliff

BIT ON THE NOSE

Spur

Daniel got lit up. Please keep making him the lead blocker

King Hippo

MANNINGFACE WOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Brick Meathook

Based on my international travels of the last 90 days, I can confidently state based on personal observation:

1) The UK has the stupidest TV commercials;

2) Canada closely follows with the second stupidest TV commercials;

3) Surprisingly, the United States of America, birthplace of Thomas Edison and adopted home of Albert Einstein, is only third in this category.