T’was a long weekend as far as the footballing was concerned so let’s check on the-
Fallout-
-Out for the year are D-Jax and Preston Williams.
-Out for the year for other reasons is one Jermaine Whitehead. Having missed several tackles during the game, he tried to tackle some folks on twitter and, uh, it did not go well.
-In related news, Freddie Kitchens breathed a sigh of relief when his key card to the Browns facility worked earlier this morning. Team GM John Dorsey later commented, “Fred did a great job-in the whirlpool, keeping his head above water”.
-Seguing to another struggling coach-Dan Quinn ‘shook up’ his coaching staff. No one was fired but several assistants were looking for their new seats on the Atlanta Hindenburg.
-The Dolphins’ Kalen Ballage is out there playing 3D chess while the rest of us are trying to guess heads or tails. The guy managed to get Kenyan Drake traded and then follows it up by spiking new rb starter Mark Walton’s energy drink to the tune of a four game suspension. Dude has read his Sun Tzu.
TO THE GAMES!
Cowboys/Giants:
Oh boy. As a Giants fan that knows that Dallas hasn’t lost to my team for three years now, it ain’t look good. The Giants have trouble defending between the sideline and the numbers and that’s where DAK! shines. He leads all qb’s in completion %, yards per attempt and passer rating on attempts to that spot. Cooper will go off. Engram will get about 72.4 yards. (it’s his average vs. the ‘Boys) Zeke will run for 100+. Daniel Jones will fumble at least once. It is written.
Get at it.
The Giants will fuck this up.
This will be like the 3rd time this weekend the score went to 23-18
Lol that camera on Zeke.
Woof woof.
Is Saquon wearing the Nelly bandaid style eye black?
Who’s the best historical comparison for Prescott? Marc Bulger?
There’s a stats article I read, averages out 4 rating metrics. Best overall score this season? Good old chopped ham-head!
To me, he’s like if Russell Wilson and Drew Brees had a baby. Not the BEST of both test tube dads, but some combo.
Jay Cutler? Canned ham is like canned tuna, right?
Nailed it
Joe Ferguson.
Played with best RB of his generation, never did screw all with it.
To be fair Ferguson probably spent most of his time trying to figure out ways to hide from OJ rather than trying to learn the playbook.
GALLUPDOWN!
that were some Globetrotters shit!
Holy shit Gallup.
Prescott had the best tuck and run since Jame Gumb.
Man, if there was a banner for ‘creepy’…
I missed most of this game. Did I miss much? Gut instinct says “no”.
CAT
So does the scoreboard
Jay Cutler made a surprise appearance.
Dak Prescott: Game Manager
DAL using two backs is pretty good coaching
Hmm, yes, a fine coaching it is too. Almost as fine as the dinner Brill and I shall enjoy with some of our college chums after this tilt has been completed.
really hope “row the boat” guy can beat the Paedos
Hey guys, does anyone know why there’s a one point difference in this game? Did the Giants kicker hit an upright maybe?
Man, I’d wish they’d tell us.
Booger never shuts up yet you still know nothing about the game. “Tess” is just as useless. Next year ESPN should drop some plentiful Disney Dollars and hire Kevin Harlan and Tony Romo for MNF.
This would be fantastic.
Tessitore is really good at boxing but yeah, that has not carried over to football.
I’d back the fuck off Hernandez too. That motherfucker is large.
I know, and all that dead weight hanging around!
Also, pretty sure the unsportsmanlike was for the Dallas defender shoving the referee
They said it was taunting.
I wonder if Ajayi returns to Miami now that Walton pissed hot?
If he has two hands, Eagles need a slot receiver
Did Saquon just try the Dirty Dancing move with a Dallas defender, and then high five at the end?
“There’s a fight going on” hollers an announcer who has clearly never seen an actual fight.
Yeah, fuck you, Parabolic Mic!
It knows what it did.
DANIEL JONES COMPLETED A PASS GET THAT MAN A RESTRUCTURED CONTRACT
Great field position. How will the Giants fuck this one up
Yes.
Also, maybe I just never noticed it before, but there’s little arrows to collapse comment threads. Is this the annual “back-end automatic update that sort’ve breaks DFO and we all ironically (mostly) overreact” day?
/Copies “This is great” to clipboard just in case.
GLORIOUS NEWS, HIPPO FIGURE OUT THE UNSTICKING
Go for it you pussies.
Especially after that garbage play on 3rd and 4
What is a sticky comment thread, and why won’t it go away?
I tried to unstick
Too much hot cheesecake action?
Is the site being taken over by Skynet? What is happening?
Roger Goodell’s camo appears to have broken it
Damnit Roger!
Dammit, now he’s an internet disgrace, too!
.
.
Cowboys are going to win by 2 tds easily.
Name a good NFL quarterback named Jones, ever. You can’t.
I was watching whilst away from the computer so forgive me if someone already said this, but no matter how this game ends the most amazing thing we’ll see is that an unarmed black cat was surrounded by a bunch of New York cops and somehow wasn’t shot to death.
+1 chokehold
Jersey state troopers have some restraint apparently
Another joke shot down by facts like an unarmed minority motorist at a Texas traffic stop.
I know that, at least in North Cakalaky, you need a 4-year degree at least (to be a trooper), and they ARE usually better.
That’s been my experience in CT as well. State Troopers are generally, (although we’ve had some glaring exceptions), pretty professional. Local cops ran the gamut from professional to “holy shit how does anyone trust you with anything more lethal than Play-Doh?”
It’s sort of like the way left and right don’t adequately explain politics. You have skilled-unskilled, but also “dedicated to maintaining peace and justice” to “if his dad wanted to live through that stop and frisk, he shouldn’t have worn pants with a waistband”
Did everyone leave?
/rips massive fart
jesus fuck
Some insightful monday night mic there ESPN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw
Need moar Engram next drive Gmen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UB3to3nkjo
So there are now payday loan apps?
The only way this could be more perfectly American is if it’s a reservation-based payday loan company.
helps the repo man track you
Stop posting hardcore porn
Nuts. Yesterday was the anniversary of this:
Still need to get around to skipping the second half of S3 of Dexter and watching the John Lithgow season
Hey! No more shitty halftime music!
Man, the Giants played such a great first half they’re only losing by a little!
Woot Woot Dallas lead
thanks, I hate it