Horse Shoes Are Not So Lucky Thursday Night Open Thread

Before we get started, I want to give a pre-Thanksgiving shout out to my mom and dad, my homies from the north side, my totally fresh crew of Johnny, Nick, Christopher, and PhatBoyMegaNastyMac10 himself, Tanner Anderson, my aunt Matilda who makes amazing Frito boats, whoever made these comfy tighty-whiteys, the Jamesville Township Brass Tuba Band, the Society of Orchid Growers, McDowell’s, the people of Zamunda, the doctor who cured my anal warts rash, and Eugene Stogmire of 462 Clover Drive for letting my dog pee on his lawn all the time.  I pee on his lawn, too.  And I’m probably sleeping with his husband.  Maybe.  Not admitting to anything here.

Image result for mcdowells"
I hear the daughter of the owner got married to some prince.

Once upon a time there was a person sitting on a bench knitting some mittens in hopes of making a paycheck without having to do much work.  Then, Brady got hurt.  And our hero, kind of, of this story led a team of Patriots.  Maybe that’s how it happened.  It’s how I remember it.  I’m old.  Let’s pretend that was what happened.

And that same guy is hurt this week.  But, still going to play QB for those mini horses.  Don’t worry to much, though, as no one has sent him to the glue factory yet.

Even worse, their star back, Mr. Mack, with the hand crack, is back to the bench.  His backup did well in his absence last week.

The star WR has a calf strain and may play.  Should play.  Let’s call it a maybe.

Do the Colts have other receivers?  I can’t think of one damn receiver besides Hilton.  *Googles*  ehh…. Let’s move on.

My knee jerk reaction is that this team is going to be hosed.

Image result for horsing around"
Just look at this sad little fella

On the other side of the ball, we have the Texans.  Everything is bigger in Texas, except for brains, but that is mainly the coach and the population of the state.  Watson is a pretty smart QB.  He’s got some good talent in the receiving core of Hopkins, Fuller, and Stills.  This team can put the ball in the air.

Running the ball?  Well, if you count Watson as a part-time RB, then yeah, maybe, they are okay.  Carlos Hyde, still living, is putting up some decent numbers.  Not top-quality numbers but good enough for a team where running the ball is not a priority.  And he needs to stay healthy, because the Duke of Johnson just never lived up to the hype.  More like Dookie onmy Johnson, amiright?

The D could lose it for Houston.  While J.J. is at home watching the game in the comfort of his home, I’m just curious if he gets pissed off enough to tackle his TV.  Especially last week when he could have had a chance against the real MVP this season (not any Dallas or Seattle QB).  Does he finally get to see how bad the secondary really is instead of his normal back to them?  I wish him a speedy recovery.

With that in mind, let’s talk about things.  How are you feeling?  Are you going to see Frozen 2?  Are you playing the Frozen soundtrack in the car when no one is looking?  Let’s get to it.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
TheRevanchist
A face only your mother loves… repeatedly.
http://www.hamsterdance.org/hamsterdance/
Subscribe
Notify of
328 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
yeah right

I’m thinking of dropping a Sunday Gravy special on my Thanksgiving guests.

I’ve covered pork tenderloin many times but the one I’ve got in mind takes the 2 tenderloins, seasoned with salt pepper and Hungarian paprika then sear them in a cast iron skillet, 4-5 minutes per side.

Let cool, then coat with a slathering of dijon mustard followed by a covering of fresh garlic and rosemary – fresh from the herb garden if possible, wrap each piece in foil and cook for 35 minutes at 350.
comment image

Then let rest for 10 minutes, slice on the bias and serve with some of the pan drippings over the top.

Unwrap and walk the fuck away.

Yeah. That works.

Unsurprised

Please do.

I’m debating whether I want to drive down for Thanksgiving or stay in the city. I hate driving and I saw a bunch of people pulled over on the drive back when I went down last weekend (after the Beavers game, but still.). Also, I just don’t want to do anything. But damn that sounds good.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Or you can just do a honey-glazed ham and be celebrated as a hero for all time.

SonOfSpam

Well, at least the Bruins aren’t losing to Hofstra late.

/checks Pac-12 Network

Well, damn.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I got Vlad back down on the ground, but he won’t roll because I think I tightened the parking cable brake drums too much.
I also realized that with the new stance, the exhaust on the car sits less than 2 inches above ground level. So, that shit ain’t gonna work.
Taking tomorrow off for a mental health day and gonna have to put the car back up in the air and figure out a way forward.
Too much detail to elaborate upon in my current drunken state. Will advise and update when and if appropriate.I did get the car started and running, so that is encouraging.

Pretending here that anyone on this site actually gives a flying fuck about some old “OK Boomer” guy’s project.

JerBear50

What you working on?

ballsofsteelandfury

He calls it Vlad The Impala. Don’t know the year.

JerBear50

Ah, gotcha. Actually saw an old Galaxy the other day in pretty good shape. Oh, and there was a really clean Ranchero, probably 58 to 60 or so. It got my inner white trash pretty goddamn excited.

ballsofsteelandfury

My inner Mexican tingles at the sight of an El Camino.

JerBear50

The whole car or just the stereo?
/ducks

BC Dick

I was going to say upholstery.
/goose

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve had to tell more than one Hipanic/Mexican fella of my acquaintance that, after failing to properly ID my car, they are required by law to turn in their Mexican Man Card due to failing to properly ID a Chevy Impala.

Unsurprised

I used to own an 82 and I wish I still had it.

JerBear50

I gotta say Chevy did a pretty shit job of rebooting a fairly iconic car as a really fucking plain mid-size, but how furious did the Galaxy designer have to be when he saw it turn into a minivan?

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

This guy. 1965 SS

BC Dick

Beautiful. What a paint job. And those wheels are right on.

JerBear50

Damn, nice ride man. Rebuilding the original engine or complete replacement?

ballsofsteelandfury

We do care. A buddy of mine is trying to finish his hot rod. He’s had similar setbacks, so you’re in good company.

BC Dick

Did you have it sitting for a while with the parking brake on? I had mine seize up good once and had to rock it back and forth until they gave way. Was a ‘92 Camry. 320,000+ km. Last year made in Japan and that thing would’ve run on cooking oil. Never should have sold it and I bet it’s still going somewhere.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wish it was that elementary of a fix. Replaced old drums with Wilwood 4-wheel disc setup. Beneath the disc brake rotor in the rear, there is a cute little drum setup for parking brake, which I think I must have adjusted too tight. Also have realized that the headers coming off the engine are now too low to use as actual exhaust, gonna have to figure some shit OUT!

BC Dick

Damn. That was the only car advice I had. Did you turn the key, too?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brocky

??‍♀️

Brocky

I discovered an interesting emoticon

8?=====D

8=?====D

8==?===D

8===?==D

8====?=D

8=====?D

8====?=D

8===?==D

8==?===D

8=?====D

8?=====D

8=?====D

8==?===D

8===?==D

8====?=D

8=====?D

8====?=D

8===?==D

8==?===D

8=?====D

8?=====D

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nobody squeezing the balls?
2/10, would not yank.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brocky

Run for cover. Brocky remembered he has emojis

?????

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better?

Unsurprised

Penguins smell disgusting

JerBear50

What about flamingos?comment image

Brocky

??????????????????

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just checked early FF scores.
It’s time to delete Game Time Decision. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!!

I’m the commish and I can delete you if you’re about beat me in an embarrassing fashion.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Brocky

At least you’re not yelling at me this week

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

I checked on Amazon to see if I could buy one of these, but apparently they have been on back-order since 1888. SAD!!!

Game Time Decision

I’m sorry that the warm body, that I picked up off the waiver wire with everyone else on my team on bye or injured, put up 20 points.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, yeah tell me about it right? I’m not even sure how warm the bodies are at this point.
I think we’ve all been shuffling RBs and TEs for what now? 6-7 weeks?

Brocky

Colts lose

This is a great night for brocky, and therefore the world.

Except Elvis.

Man FUCK Elvis!

King Hippo

Dude, he’d be sooooo decomposed by now.

Brocky

…. Ed Gein

Viva La Tabula Raza
theeWeeBabySeamus
JerBear50

Saw him last week. Solid show.

Viva La Tabula Raza

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dftqcobNtAM
“I ain’t a fag, but if I HAD to fuck a guy, I’d fuck Elvis.”

Since I live in Texas, and I am from Massachusetts, and a Patriots fan for over 50 years since they were Boston Patriots (Babe Parilli rocked), and my cousin is the attorney for Steve Grogan’s Mansfield sports equipment store (bulk equipment sales to local school districts [she says he’s kind of a dick in the flesh]), and I have to have a Texas team since I live here, and I have hated the Cowboys since 1968 (that’s another post), and my second team was therefore the Oilers, and that went away 20 years ago Fuck You Bud Adams, and I’ve been an AFL/AFC fan since Namath beat the Colts in 69, so Texans are my 2nd faves after the hated NEP, and what was my point? Am I Jim Jordan hiding the sexual abuse of your son at OSU. I COULD BE!

What was the question? Man, I just made myself feel like I was a participant in the impeachment hearings.

Unsurprised

There are no Texans fans because there is no Texans team.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State covers the spread.

Baby steps.

King Hippo

why would you risk a handoff after that? Take a knee, then throw it out of the stadium on 4th down

WCS

BILL O’BRIEN IS AN IDIOT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

WCS

That’s a fumble.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems a guy with a last name like Reich should be working in the White House these days rather than in some stadium.

Unsurprised

I don’t know why he isn’t in the office next to Eliot Abrams trying to overthrow Venezuela even though Trump’s attention has completely disregarded that place, but then again he’s probably still creaming himself at what’s going on in Bolivia.

My point is that this fucking ghoul worked in the Reagan and Bushes White House to destroy Latin America and if there is a Hell, he has a spot reserved. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Reich

Viva La Tabula Raza

Check out “Smedley Butler USMC” on the google. Eye-opener if you are not already familiar with the guy. True fucking American.

Unsurprised

I went to high school with a guy whose great-grandfather was part of the Business Plot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can they get the ball to Fells, dammit?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess not

Horatio Cornblower

Have him on my team as well, and I’m not even sure he’s still in the stadium, let alone in the game.

King Hippo

Now again, here’s the thing. DON’T CALL TIMEOUT AFTER FIRST DOWN, AND THEY WILL HAVE TO SNAP IT TWICE BEFORE 2:00

King Hippo

OMFG, Reich gets it right!!

Horatio Cornblower

Easy there, Adolph.

King Hippo

One first down beats you, this is a good call

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

the chance of DRAW, GLORIOUS DRAW! rises

blaxabbath

What would IND be with Luck?

King Hippo

HODOR!

JerBear50

Removed from the map?

Horatio Cornblower

Do you suppose that OJ made the NFL All-Time RB list? I’m gonna take a stab at it and say no.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Certainly something they will have to handle with kid gloves, whether those gloves fit or not.

King Hippo

an OJ trial musical would be pretty fun

Horatio Cornblower

/copyrights the idea before that son-of-a-bitch Manuel-Miranda steals another one of my ideas.

King Hippo

You could do a really flowery number for the “schoolhouse door” scene in George Wallace: The Musical! too

JerBear50

I think Stone and Parker could make this work.

Unsurprised

Just mix together Ryan Murphy and the producers of The People vs OJ. BTW, this is my favorite scene and it’s a shame they had to edit and mix the song so much. Still, JC walking into court to Black Superman rules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDhUL_nuIHc

Unsurprised

As an aside, Sterling K. Brown was wasted in Black Panther as T’Chaka’s brother/Eric’s father that gets killed off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is a cutting edge joke.

BC Dick

Is there a thing such as justifiable homicide? I mean, you come home and Ron Goldman is banging your wife? There aren’t a lot of legal reactions to that situation.

King Hippo

Why is Don Draper all up Richard Jewell’s ass?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t paid enough attention, is this movie an attempt to validate Jewell and make his seem the hero? You never know with an Eastwood movie, dude is like your conservative uncle at Thanksgiving who occasionally exhibits a flash of humanity.

King Hippo

the commercials would indicate so, I ain’t gonna watch the film

Viva La Tabula Raza

yeah, no, I think the last Eastwood film I watched and enjoyed because he reminded me of my not-previously-but-now-racist dad (I think it’s an age thing with these Depression babies, a regression if you will) was Gran Torino, which I did enjoy. That was a while back, though, and nothing of his I’ve seen advertised since appeals, except maybe that one where he plays an old fool who decides to be a drug mule. Maybe I will never see it, even though it looked interesting.

Unsurprised

It is because he is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Free lube?

King Hippo

OF COURSE, with my #1 waiver priority, I went with Scarbrough Fair, thinking Williams wouldn’t get all the carries in Humpland.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BC Dick

How do you even get that thing started? Asking for a friend.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PERSISTENCE, TRAINING, GOALS, STRENGTH OF WILL.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Will takes a lot of showers.

Unsurprised

You never made sculptures with the bar soap as a kid (or as an adult)? You know how it gets really soft on one of the long faces? just finger a divot into it and then keep going and keep going. The trick is not breaking the bar in half.

I should mention that I haven’t used bar soap since college.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

The strictest legal sense of SFW. I mean, maybe not for that particular McDonald’s, but generally speaking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe if his noise was deeper?

Horatio Cornblower

“I’ll have what she’s having”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Worst sportsbook ever.

Senor Weaselo

Talk about having it her way.

King Hippo

Holy cats, TheAndre!

Viva La Tabula Raza

This has quietly turned into a pretty decent game.

King Hippo

yep, keeping me off teh ESPN, which I appreciate

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

King Hippo

underwear is inherently fascist

Viva La Tabula Raza

My “PREV CH” selection is the motor trend channel so maybe I can catch a drag race or a smokin’ burnout. There’s a reason that weeknight college football games are played and televised on weeknights.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Kremer-Storm 2020

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wonder what that Peloton bicycle seat smells like when she gets done with that hot sweaty workout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Deeeelish.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I meant, how does it smell to a normal person?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice use of La Grange for bumper music, although I think that best little whorehouse was closer to Austin. Stop stealing shit, Houston!

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, if you are an Asian homophobe that doesn’t like your broker patting you on the shoulder, use Fischers Financial Consultants, it’s hands-off with us.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Molly McGrath running down the field at Bobby Dodd Stadium is not the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Low-grade civil war that has been going on in this country for the last several years, in the guise of mass shootings, is probably going to escalate as this impeachment process moves forward.
He’s skirted the fringes a few times at his Nuremberg rallies, but sooner or later the orange guy is going to come right out and tell his peeps to start shooting anyone not a follower of the cult of personality. I’ve got a Colt 1911 Model 70 with 200 rounds of .45 ACP, and the powder is dry, so I’ll get a sandwich before they get their fucking meal.

King Hippo

I have a redneck buddy in PA that will probably offer sanctuary if I make it up there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve also got a couple of potential sanctuaries, but to be honest, in the near-term post-apocalypse, I’ll probably be taken out by the first roving gang of cannibalistic feral Cub Scouts that comes around.

King Hippo

I mean, without televised sports, and access to moar books and opiates…what’s the point of living anyway?

Gratliff

Oh, there will always be opiates. The civil war’s gonna be a cold war between Pfizer and Astra-Zeneca

King Hippo

I’d bet Bob and/or his wife would know how to set up a poppy field, anyway.

Gratliff

I’m of the mind both that the idea of a civil war is extreme yet , and also that if some shit goes down for real, history’ll look back and wonder why we didn’t crack down after the incel ecofasicsts starting shooting at minorities. Also wonder just how badly the general public underestimates how many left-of-center types own guns, while overestimating how many Republicans carry. The NRA is a minority group within a minority, but you’d think everyone not registered D is walking around with a six-shooter on their hips the way people go on about it.

Gratliff

(Also, both sides are gonna get fucking smoked by the US military which is gonna curb stomp any uprising as soon as it starts from either side. Land of the free, home of the domestic drone strike targets.)

King Hippo

yeah, have all the guns you want, it ain’t radar or tanks or drones

/assuming the military didn’t also split down the middle

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, Yo. survivalist, how long is your AR-15 gonna hold up against an M-4 on full auto, never mind an armored troop transport, an M-1 Main Battle Tank, or a Predator drone firing Hellfire missiles.

As long as my 3rd Amendment right preventing the quartering of troops in my house is respected, I’m cool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Other selections that I would consent to quartering in my home.
comment image
comment image
comment image

Oh, and JK on that last one…

Unsurprised

Army cops
comment image

Unsurprised

We can’t even curb stomp Yemen.

Unsurprised

wonder why we didn’t crack down after the incel ecofasicsts starting shooting at minorities

Those are just the cops.

Unsurprised

Anyone agitating for a fight is totally full of shit. The U.S. has the most cowed population on the planet. Stalin would be in awe at how docile and impotent Americans are. Beyond the fact that rugged individualist survivalists can stand out as long as they can stay awake (sleep, fire, water are the biggest enemies in TEOTWAWKI), actually taking on an “occupying” force or just an existing security and law enforcement structure is pretty well controlled. There’s a reason that the two Bundy standoffs aside (and they succeeded because Obama was a fucking chickenshit) it’s only done by loners like Chris Dorner: the moment you declare war on the state, the state declares war on everyone you’re related to, everyone you know, or just anyone you’ve said hello to more than once. It’s the same reason revolutions don’t happen everywhere all the time for the entirety of human history. People will endure, well, chattel slavery rather than risk having not just them but everyone they know and care about punished and killed as collateral damage. That’s the alternative. It really comes down to people having nothing to lose, and no one to lose, which in itself also makes any sort of collective action really difficult.

Also, let’s be clear: every asshole on both side – and I’ll definitely acknowledge this is true on the left with the most hardcore antifa and M-L tankies and larpers – would crumble in an instant if shit ever went down because these loudmouths are coddled, entitled middle-class blowhards who can run their mouths forever knowing that they will never in their lives have to put their words into action. The 3%ers, Oathkeepers, Proud Boys, antifa, SRA, and all the like are just performance artists and the art they practice is “Bullshit.” They have no capacity for surviving on their own without any of the base creature comforts even the working poor have access to. That’s the genius of how well this country has been made complacent. The real poor, the ones out in the sticks or in the ghettos, the ones who survive by “making do” or “we get by” – those people couldn’t give less of a shit about politics. If you live in a suburb or exurb, basically if you own a house, you’re not taking up arms under any circumstances. There’s too much to lose and nothing to gain.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Shan’klor is displeased that she has been deprived of her Rightful Sacrifice

Senor Weaselo

Doink is grounded!

Col. Duke LaCross

The good doink.

WCS

DOINK GOAL

Mr. Ayo

Who here has Fuller on their bench?

King Hippo

the hamster wheel of “when do I play the 500s’ #2 WR?” has driven many a man mad

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

It’ll clear your ass out!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Must taste pretty bad when you are so constipated that your shit has backed clear up your throat and furred your tongue. That is fucking gross.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

JULIE STRAIN!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TIT FU!

Dunstan

Andy Reid doesn’t believe in not eating the cheese

theeWeeBabySeamus

Silver lining to NC State playing on Thursday night?

I don’t have to watch them suck on Saturday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mistborn Impossible

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

That was a very nice throw/catch for Watson/Fuller.

herodotus450

comment image

Mistborn Impossible

Workin’ on my knight chess

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

So I got a letter today from my jailbird brother. Nothing unusual mostly. He writes regularly to ask for books, etc. Amazon loves it.

But in this letter, in addition to book titles, he asked for calendar/ day planner for 2020. You know….to organize his busy schedule. Sorry, but I had to laugh.

Jan 1 – smuggle meth inside up my ass.
Jan 2 – get shanked foar selling fake meth.
Jan 3 – open

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Gotta keep track of Law Library day

ArmedandHammered

Or when it is your turn to be ‘the bitch’.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t be sorry. My brother is a shithead. He’s where he belongs and he better hope he never gets paroled.

King Hippo

I mean, if his brother ain’t cool enough to smuggle in a butt-smartphone ,, smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why you think he’s in solitary for the past six months. Some asshole sociopaths never learn.

Senor Weaselo

No, open is the night of January 2nd, after the shanking but before the stitches.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What happen in leap year?

Senor Weaselo

We’ll find out next year!

King Hippo

So…is there a “Not-so-L’il Sebastian” porn parody somewhere? Ask FOAR a friend. ok, Balls.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

She seems a little ashamed…

Viva La Tabula Raza