Before we get started, I want to give a pre-Thanksgiving shout out to my mom and dad, my homies from the north side, my totally fresh crew of Johnny, Nick, Christopher, and PhatBoyMegaNastyMac10 himself, Tanner Anderson, my aunt Matilda who makes amazing Frito boats, whoever made these comfy tighty-whiteys, the Jamesville Township Brass Tuba Band, the Society of Orchid Growers, McDowell’s, the people of Zamunda, the doctor who cured my anal warts rash, and Eugene Stogmire of 462 Clover Drive for letting my dog pee on his lawn all the time.  I pee on his lawn, too.  And I’m probably sleeping with his husband.  Maybe.  Not admitting to anything here.

Once upon a time there was a person sitting on a bench knitting some mittens in hopes of making a paycheck without having to do much work.  Then, Brady got hurt.  And our hero, kind of, of this story led a team of Patriots.  Maybe that’s how it happened.  It’s how I remember it.  I’m old.  Let’s pretend that was what happened.

And that same guy is hurt this week.  But, still going to play QB for those mini horses.  Don’t worry to much, though, as no one has sent him to the glue factory yet.

Even worse, their star back, Mr. Mack, with the hand crack, is back to the bench.  His backup did well in his absence last week.

The star WR has a calf strain and may play.  Should play.  Let’s call it a maybe.

Do the Colts have other receivers?  I can’t think of one damn receiver besides Hilton.  *Googles*  ehh…. Let’s move on.

My knee jerk reaction is that this team is going to be hosed.

On the other side of the ball, we have the Texans.  Everything is bigger in Texas, except for brains, but that is mainly the coach and the population of the state.  Watson is a pretty smart QB.  He’s got some good talent in the receiving core of Hopkins, Fuller, and Stills.  This team can put the ball in the air.

Running the ball?  Well, if you count Watson as a part-time RB, then yeah, maybe, they are okay.  Carlos Hyde, still living, is putting up some decent numbers.  Not top-quality numbers but good enough for a team where running the ball is not a priority.  And he needs to stay healthy, because the Duke of Johnson just never lived up to the hype.  More like Dookie onmy Johnson, amiright?

The D could lose it for Houston.  While J.J. is at home watching the game in the comfort of his home, I’m just curious if he gets pissed off enough to tackle his TV.  Especially last week when he could have had a chance against the real MVP this season (not any Dallas or Seattle QB).  Does he finally get to see how bad the secondary really is instead of his normal back to them?  I wish him a speedy recovery.

With that in mind, let’s talk about things.  How are you feeling?  Are you going to see Frozen 2?  Are you playing the Frozen soundtrack in the car when no one is looking?  Let’s get to it.