I bet you thought I’d forgotten about this little series. Well, “series” might be pushing it considering that this is only the third installment and it’s been nearly a year since the first and second installments. And considering it’s been that long you, dear reader, have probably forgotten anyway.
But it’s that time again.
It’s time to appreciate other cultures.
(also, whomever made that meme misspelled “Tomorrow”…. just saying)
Oh just relax, Cleavon. They’ll be back next week. Probably. Or maybe not. We’ll see.
(how he ever got to be sheriff of Rock Ridge, I have no idea)
–
Sports Which Will Not Likely Center You Or Bring Peace 2Nite
NBA
- San Antonio @ Philadelphia – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- Houston @ LAC – 10:30pmEST – TV: ESPN
NHL
Holy shit, there’s a game on tonight.
/sees that it’s NJ @ Yinzburgh
//kills self
- NJD @ Pittsburgh – 7:00pmEST – TV: NHLN
(don’t get too excited, it’s only the Rangers at the Senators….what a shitshow)
NCAA BB
- Georgetown vs (1)Duke – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
- Morehead State @ Butler – 7:00pmEST – TV: FS1
- George Mason @ (6)Maryland – 7:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
- (15)Utah State @ LSU – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
- Mt. St. Mary’s @ (9)Kentucky – 7:00pmEST – TV: SECN
- Houston @ (11)Oregon – 9:00pmEST – TV: PAC12N
- Cal Poly @ Creighton – 9:00pmEST – TV: FS1
- South Dakota @ Arkansas – 9:00pmEST – TV: SECN
- Montana @ (25)Washington – 11:00pmEST – TV: PAC12N
- Temple @ USC – 11:00pmEST – TV: PAC12N
NCAA FB
- ColorAdo State @ Wyoming – 9:30pmEST – TV: ESPN2
–
They Kinda Pertty
And also somewhat Bedazzled.
Enjoy…
Well those are some lovely ladies, fo’ sho’. What say you, Mahatma?
Nice. Real nice.
OK. No offense intended to anyone. But you should not listen to that. It sucks.
Listen to this instead…
Have a nice weekend everyone.
Love ya’s.
(sorry, but that’s freaking funny)
–
https://giant.gfycat.com/EllipticalHardtofindHypsilophodon.mp4
From the appropriately named The Gift (2000): Ms. Katie Holmes
h
ttps://giant.gfycat.com/SeparateTenderJaguar.mp4
Granny says fuck you, you fucking racist piece of shit.
For you newer folks we have a DFO book club, where we suggest good reads and have suggestions and I’m not sure who tossed this out but the World Made By Hand series, is rock solid and I will cosign. The first 2 books at least.
Maybe some nachos!
Homemade pickled jalapenos!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBQ2305fLeA
“Right family?
Party of 16?
Right this way.”
Yeah, sixteen this year for Thanksgiving.
Son-in-law is smoking the turkey, eldest right with dessert and breads, I’ve got 4 sides including Grandmommies Dressin’!
for like the 40th fucking year in a row.
Some of you shitty cooks are starting to make sense to me now.
It’s a good thing I don’t have to write about this shit.
And they all say “I came for your cooking!”
Like i can deny that, shameless attention whore that I am.
Bet your ass I ain’t washing dishes.
No Sir!
Where’s my damn bourbon?
Have your bourbon, then have your fun.
No one really cares how well the Thanksgiving dinner turns out. They just care about having an enjoyable time with family. Makes everything taste better.
/Heads off to stepmom pornhub search. Yummy!
Solid advice but you KNOW my Thanksgiving game is tight!
6 of the repeat visitors say “I’m here for the food.”
Including my ex wife. Twenty one years later.
She’s alright.
For a hippy.
True. Wish someone in my family knew how to cook.
This rules.
I wish SEA still had an NBA team. But, more importantly, I wish Kawhi was on that team.
And Durant if I’m being greedy.
Point is, I hate the NBA but I love Kawhi.
The chemistry with Kawhi and George is still a work in progress since but of them are amazing athletes and neither is an Alpha Male. When it connects though?
Two of the best 2 way players in the game.
It’s the Battle for LA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w211KOQ5BMI
I’m very ambivalent about Kawhi. I thought he was the future for the Spurs, and was looking forward to his leading the Spurs to multiple championships post-Tim-Manu-Tony. Disappointed that it didn’t work out that way, not everyone will thrive under Pop’s pseudo-fascist way of doing things. Good luck to him in his future endeavours.
https://sports.theonion.com/clippers-ask-everyone-to-keep-it-down-while-they-rest-k-1839952882
That’s fair. Cannot wait for the expose on what went down. The Spurs seemed like the ideal spot for him.
Dude’s from the Inbred Empire in Riverside. Very close to his family. I saw him play live in the Wooden Classic at the Pond in Anaheim or whatever they call it when he played for San Diego State and everybody said “Who the fuck is that?”
Had no idea he would be this good.
Love his game, love his attitude.
Plus the new unis and court layout is LA as all get-out.
Probably sell a lot of “Los Angeles” tattoos in that script.
Shit, I want one.
Agreed, I thought he was the face of the future of the franchise. Have a hard time believing this on the Spurs organization, their history suggests otherwise, and I suspect some bad advice might have been offered to Kawhi from various members of his posse.
/fires up
What’s up peoples?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltFEy8C9aCI
Double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI
“Ah’m puttin’ this whole fahckin’ town in my reah view”
There it is. And I’m quite sure I’ll be using that same line when the Cowboys lose by 3 because Jason Garrett gets outcoached on Sunday.
The mayhem guy from Allstate has arrived!
He’s so fucked.
Blake Lively is just fine in my book.
Douche Pool approved!
I’m a goddamn fucking idiot. Brick is right. Anyway, I’m not ever going to change anything. So since no one else is posting more pics I’ll just go find some myself.
Best of luck. And please share with the group.
Stop reading Twitter. It’s easy. Just don’t do it.
I signed up on Twitter a few weeks ago when I learned here that I could follow the thoughts of the no-longer-on-Deadspin D. Magary as well as the delightful Zodiac Motherfucker. I uninstalled the app within a week.
I’d ask if you wanna see my penis? But everyone always says no, so I don’t even try anymore.
Where’s the fucking vodka?
The vodka. It’s in this glass.
The one my penis is in.
Hehehehe
Ah yes, the always-effective dick swizzle.
Brick since you’re already in Canada can you lodge a formal complaint with the Board of Hockey that there are only two games on tonigth? What am I supposed to do while I wait for the sweet embrace of
deathsleep?I’ll get right on that.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9Cyq5Wk0n7M
I’m rewatching ‘The Town’, god knows why, and here’s a controversial position, but Blake Lively is one hell of an attractive opiate addict.
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blake-lively-in-the-town-590×346.jpg
I’d score for her.
I love addicts.
Can’t get enough of em.
So, listening to some of the landmark rock albums of the late 60s and early 70s, stuff like Cream and Tull and Moody Blues and Kinks and the list goes on and on, it’s really pretty amazing how fast rock music evolved in just 15 or so years. Just heard Tales of Brave Ulysses on the radio and thinking about what kind of music was being made only a decade earlier, just blows my mind.
Ginger Baker was/is a psychopath.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERY0jMv9KtY
I am now able to confirm that I have done a great job raising kids. My son’s proposed comment to Kraft: “Gee Mr. Kraft, I would’ve thought you’d give that masseuse a job here at the stadium, since she’s so good at draining balls!!!”
You’ve raised that kid well.
/single tear runs down my cheek as I quietly sing along to ‘Cat’s In The Cradle’
Bravo sir. You may die in peace.
Oooh, Reek is about to get it.
Church scene now. Classic.
He’s at that bar in the best coast version. 1 hour in.
I must have the East Coast feed. I’m watching on Fubo TV.
I’m on Paramount Network.
I though they did movies only. Also, fuck commericals. I may need to find a legit stream.
I’m curious if you’ve ever been to the Village Mart in your hood. I stopped in one day and got some snacks only, but the menu looked interesting…
I’ve lost track. Where is my hood?
Across the little valley on that hill where the small fire was a while back. The Village Mart is at the bottom of that hill.
Ah. I have indeed mislead you. I’m much further north. Seattle area north actually.
Bummer. I thought for sure you were there.
I’m still curious about the food in that Mart…
Yeah, I wish. Seattle blows.
That Kingsman: The Secret Service movie had a pretty awesome Church scene too, as I recall.
*checks google*
Yep, pretty wild.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3zdYUG2_RA
Ever see a French Bulldog driving while high as fuck?
John Wick is such a great fucking movie. I’ll catch it on TV at any point and keep watching until the end.
FYI, Paramount Network.
Haven’t seen it yet. Might have to go looking. I’m bored.
Are you serious?!? OMG, do it now!
But yeah probably will. I’m really fucking bored.
I’m hoping it’s synched up with what I’m watching (i.e. I’ve got the East Coast feed)
Describe what you see
What channel is it even on? I haven’t turned on the TV box yet.
Was hoping I could find it on Amazon Video.
Paramount Network
Shit, you gon’ make me use DirecTV.
Wow, Chick on the Ferroro Roche commercial is hot.
Wait, what was I doing again?
Already two hours in. I’ll check for later showings.
Recording.
But I can already see that Neo’s face is all messed up.
Willem Defoe gon’ die.
Upon rewatch, the sequels do get worse because the world building is making him seem less cool and more like … it’s just not as good.
Agree to disagree.
I bought and watched JW Chapter 3 a couple weeks ago, but I was pretty, well not pretty but really drunk and really don’t remember much at all. So, that will require a rewatch. Guess I could have done that tonight. Bit late now. But I’ll have plenty of time while I’m convalescing from my foot surgery this winter.
The dog-fu in JW3 more than makes up for the half-baked world building.
Heinz is a product for which I will pay extra for the name brand.
A few decades ago I once dated a girl with the last name of Heinz.
Now Imma shut up and you may make your own jokes.
Did you have to really pound the Hell out of the bottom to get her to come loose?
As I said, Imma shut up now.
But it is possible that joke was made. Multiple times.
No one ever accused me of being original
You just have to tap it on the right spot.
57 Varieties? Did you have to consult the Kama Sutra for ideas?
Dammit, you passed the nut store.
Men*. Oh men.
As I may have mentioned this weekend, thanks to some new connections with some people who are about to very much regret them, I will be attending my first ever NFL game.
In a suite.
With free booze.
As a Cowboys fan.
In New England.
And men? I’ve just been advised that at some point, we will likely be joined by one Kraft, Robert.
I’m not sure how this is going to end, but “well” probably isn’t it.
*also women, but I felt it flowed better this way.
Ask him if he gives out Kraft Singles or just buys them from Asian sex slaves.
OK, I was about to say something, but yours was better.
Let the piling on commence
Isn’t that how he got in trouble in the first place?
Mmm … 64 consecutive Kraft Singles …
(By 64 different sex slaves, of course)
His dick would look like red cottage cheese at the end.
Look, I know it’s hard, but you don’t have to just accept the life of a sex slave. No matter what he says, you don’t have to touch him.
Ask him about hanging with Lev Parnas.
I’d rather ask him about hanging with Aaron Hernandez.
If the Cowboys win, and I believe they can, turn to him with an impish grin and say “now THAT is a happy ending!”
From your lips to Xenu’s ears.
The original line was “Dallas” apparently, but Oswald was a producer and made them change it.
soup nite!
LOL ohh Florida Dog….
Cousin of yours?
“fuq dat shit”
– Florida Cat
Isn’t today a holiday in Texas? Or Dallas at least?
The anniversary of the death of the last person who was alive to see a Cowboys super bowl win
I’m still quite healthy, thank you.
Unfortunately, I have seen every Cowboys SB win since their very first. The disappointment of this is more than offset by having seen most every Cowboys playoff loss since 1971 SB loss to Colts.
That picture just gave me AIDS.
Fun fact, there was plenty of time for the Cowboys to driver for a winning FG, but then Danny White did Danny White stuff.
Obligatory:
While they are staggeringly stupid, it is important to remember that they are so staggeringly stupid, that they’ll all avoid any real consequence because they were too stupid to accomplish anything actually prosecutable.
Sure sign of the metamorphosis of this country into Idiocracy: Stupidity becomes a valid alibi for criminals.
Becomes?
― Ronald Reagan
Is it pathetic that, despite all the bullshit that went on back in those days, I still remember it as a simpler more innocent time? Although I know it wasn’t. Perhaps it’s just relative to what’s going on these days. I guess you start looking at things with rose colored glasses, even though life has pretty much always been shit unless you are part of the ruling class. I’m sure there are lot of the early boomers that remember the 1950’s like they were Richie Cunningham or The Fonz.
Me? I was the guy with the weed in Dazed and Confused. The 70’s were awesome!
You’re going to need to narrow that down: everyone has weed in ‘Dazed and Confused.’
Except Mitch.
I assume he means the long-haired guy.
It was easier to not know everything about how wretched Reagan was because media was slower and more limited. However, I also remember it being this bad when W was President and yet people are acting like last decade was unicorns and rainbow farts. That’s probably also why the liberals cheerleading his wars until they realized we lost have succumbed to a new Red Scare rather than accept their complicity in creating the world that made Trump the President.
There was also a concerted effort by legacy media like the NYT and WaPo to downplay and not report on Iran-Contra for whatever reasons beyond Katharine Graham being personal friends with the Bushes and really liking Reagan, as opposed to her utter loathing of Nixon (to his credit, Nixon hated the wealthy people he took money and did the bidding of, especially blue bloods like the Bushes and Graham and her husband, right back), which does not at all have any correlation to current media coverage. Except for CNN and MSNBC, which literally just see this shit as entertainment that has made them extremely profitable because their viewers are addicted to the outrage.
YOU are addicted to the outrage. You are their target audience and you bite that rubber worm lure every single time.
True
Guilty as charged.
They’re too stupid to even know to shut the fuck up but do know enough not to trust each other. Their boy Trump can do the same but they don’t trust him – because he’s proven himself to be a deadbeat liar to everyone else in the world his entire life – and so they flip. I still don’t expect it to matter because people at this level do not go to prison.
I am across the street from the Montreal Forum, where something happened there once a while ago. I am in a restaurant and ordered the “American” burger (with extra moon rocks), a side of French fries, and a pint of Molson Canadian beer. It was like the United Nations! They asked what I wanted for dessert and you know what I said?
Looks like you’re gonna need another beer to wash down your dinner.
Edit: For a second there, I thought the butter dish was a full ashtray. Guess I need to make an appointment with the ophthalmologist.
And then two more to forget it. Never eat moon rocks, which I’m starting to think might not have been real.
I can tell you for sure that they are not real moon rocks.
Source: BSci in Geology, actually studied thin sections of real moon rocks with petrographic microscope.
You mean they told you they were moon rocks.
Hey, you’re right! Maybe they were staged moon rocks!!!
Actually, you can tell if rocks are of non-terrestrial origin under the microscope because of the lack of any microscopic air/oxygen pockets in the mineral matrix. Said “air bubbles” are ubiquitous in rock formed on this planet.
Or so they told me. Hmmm…
That was actually a mayonnaise dish.
*triggers Drew Magary rant*
light-eyed women do it for me.
Are any of these ladies Sunny Leone?
Rebecca Black’s tits look really good in all these Reddit posts.
Wait, who is this?
Rebecca Black. The girl from the “Friday” video back in 2011. She’s 21 now.
If there’s anything dumber than a drunk French Canadian I ain’t seen it.
Trump? MbS?
Trump’s the smartest guy on the planet. Plus he doesn’t drink.
Elon Musk’s worth dropped three quarters of a billion dollars today because of his dumbfuck 1993 Virtual Reality truck. The fact he can afford to be that stupid is another on the list of why billionaires shouldn’t exist. He wasn’t part of my failson billionaire rant from the Eagles bye week post, but Mr. Mars Death is also a goofy motherfucker whose rich parents made sure he had the easiest possible childhood. His dad co-owned an emerald mine in Apartheid South Africa, so there’s some super fuck questionable shit in his family’s past. His dad is famously a massive piece of shit , and to his credit, Elon publicly refers to him as an evil person, which is probably easier to do with 20 some odd billion dollars, but still highly unusual among humanity’s ruling class.
He only hates his dad to be cool.
His dad also just had a kid with Elon’s stepsister, so yeah
In case anyone hadn’t herd, Errol Musk is the one bankrolling the incest porn craze that now makes up roughly 97.3% of internet porn now.
Stop moderating my incest jokes!
His dad par-taaaaaaays. Unlike Elon, his dork son.
“Sir, that’s not going to change our mind.”
-Elon University admissions department
Also, correct. Bill Gates is fucking Caligula next to Musk.
Bill Gates is Elon Musk next to Elon Musk. Harvey Weinstein is Caligula next to Elon Musk. Don Simpson (of Simpson/Bruckheimer) was Caligula next to Harvey Weinstein’s Elon Musk.
White South Africans:
I may be inferring too much. Or it may just be I just randomly came across this and needed a caption.
These chicks got me Agra-vated.
(sari, not sari)
I, for one, love all the non-white ladies. Keep them coming!
yep.
Literally keep them coming
That’s the dream, man.
This is my favorite thing in the world that ever came out of the Indian sub-continent. Whenever I’m feeling low, I’ll pull it up and get a brief lift.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyEnG_DEB1I
She didn’t even break a sweat.
Needs more “Zork!” sound effect bubbles
Oh definitely. With one less “b” of course.
You beat ox?
They had it coming.
“I made your mom cum so hard they made a Canadian Heritage Minute out of it and Don McKellar played my dick” is probably the best line in the history of television.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHIr4YCHBok
HA!