Uneventful November Days – Sabado Open Thread

Few things make me feel my age MOAR than counting the years between “Mellow Gold” (which every fuckhead, yours included, owned) and his recent career renaissance.  This is his latest earworm, which I like very much:

And with waaaayyyyy too many JV NFL sides picking up on the SEC “play a cupcake before season finale” – it is very much an unfortunately timed, uneventful slate.  Thank fuck the international break is over.

Of course, the Lesser world is a-titter about Spurs trading their best manager in EVAR for washed-up, mega-douche Jose Mourinho.  Will they even get the short-term “new manager bump?”  A decent early test, away to West Ham to start our weekend (7:30, NBCSN).  Maybe I won’t wake up in time for the excellent pre-game, but I want in on the action itself.

I am not surprised that my beloved Toffees don’t get teevee coverage, but home to Norwich (wow, did their early spark ever fade fast) leads off the 10:00 window (NBC Gold).  It’s a must-win for the embattled Marco Silva, but he also needs to work harder at integrating Moise Kean into the attack.  Our long-term project can’t easily take Kean getting unsettled.

Saints/Arsenal (blech) is your NBCSN offering, with Wolves away to yeah right’s Cherries the best of the rest of Gold/streaming options.

Downright proper spotlight dance this week, as the Battle for Second Position heats up with Chelsea invading the Etihad (12:30, NBC).  Pep seems like he might be a bit out of sorts with this edition of City, but no reign of terror/contention window lasts forever.  As everyone (especially me) is sick of hearing, Chelsea do feature a Murrican player.  But the main story remains that Frank Lampard is a cunt.

Team Knifey hosts Man United in the only Sunday offering (11:30, NBCSN).  It’s funny, now that the Mancs no longer need to pay off Daniel Levy for Pochettino’s services?  Word is filtering out that the board is content to play the long game with Ole.  Things sure change fast in this here sport.

Of the many other Euro-offerings, I might be most interested in Atalanta hosting Juve (9:00, ESPN News).  You don’t even need “+” for a change, so gve this’un a look-see.

Now, for that subpar JV spread…

Paedo State (+18.5) at tOhio State (Noon, Fox)

Hey, I’d like to enjoy the Paedos getting their teeth knocked in…but it just locks the tree nutz deeper into the playoffs.  Meh.

Illinois (+15.5) at Iowa (Noon, BTN)

It’s a crap window, and I will mostly watch City/Chelski.  But this is my upset special, with Team Cornpone SUPER vulnerable to a letdown after sinking Row teh Boat’s championship dreams last week.  Hobo Lovie Smith is a hilarious sideline watch, too.

Texas A&M (+13) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

To my thinking, UGA has first claim on the 4th playoff slot, if they win out (including LSU for the conference title).  I have a hard time seeing the Dawgs pulling it off, though.  But they should breeze past Jimbo’s Aggies – though they already have an inexplicable “home loss to a moe-ron (Duschamp’s South Cakalaky)” on the ledger.

Michigan (-9.5) at Indiana (3:30, ESPN)

Holy cats, this makes THREE B1G fixtures I have highlighted.  I really don’t like this Timeline.  This would have been super interesting had the Hoosiers not lost their starting QB, but they still had a good showing away to the Paedos last week.  So, don’t rule out another Lesser Harbs embarrassment.

Texas (+5.5) at Baylor (3:30, FS1)

Oh, the Consent Abstinent can most definitely continue their plummet back to earth, after that devastating 2nd half collapse to Steerfuckers North.  Steerfuckers South come in with 6-4 leaving a nasty taste in their mouths.

Temple (+10) at Cincinnati (7:00, ESPN2)

With God as mah witness, this “I thought a turkey could fly” fixture is likely as competetive as you’ll get.

Oregon (-13) at Arizona State (7:30, ABC)

The wheels fell off the Herm Edwards bus fast (duh), but he gets a national spotlight tonight anyway.  Quack Attack needs to win out, including against Troy Boiz or more likely Team Secular Big Love for the Pac-12 title.  Then, they likely squeak into the playoffs.  This team bores the shit out of me.  GO UTES!

TCU (+18) at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)

Bloodeyes have quite the giant-killer reputation, and are 100% catching Boomer Sooner at the right time.  Perhaps this gets a litttle interesting.

Tweaker Time!!!

Utah (-22.5) at Arizona (10:00, FS1)

This is who Hippo WANTS as that 4th playoff side.  Secular Big Love have an incredible defense, and an under-the-radar efficient offense.  They could really win the whole thing.  Desert FITBAW continues to struggle.

***

Balls’ La Liga Minute

Actually,  there’s not much to discuss other than to mention that UCLA will win me an apple pie if it stays within 30 points of USC. Also, I’ve got a USC 2 and a UCLA 3 in a squares pool.

Wish me luck and tell me you’re counting on me!

***

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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yeah right

Today Reedley College hosted Foothill for the NCFC American championship game. Foothill gave Reedley their only loss in earlier this year.
Final score…
23-14.

REEDLEY FUCKING TIGERS!!!

NCFC American league champions!

FUCK YES!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Georgia is pissing me off.

And my last name isn’t even Sherman.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“I heard you can major in pedophilia at Penn State”
“Actually it’s only a minor.”

Fronkenshteen

*(unfortunately named) rim shot*

rockingdog

Oh NO!comment image

Unsurprised

Tesla really did build the perfect replacement for the current and most reliable standby of the Nissan pickup.

Brick Meathook

Toyota makes the preferred pickup truck for making gunships (called “technicals”) in war-torn third world countries.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Verizon almost had me until they told me they could get me tickets to the Jonas Brothers.

Unsurprised

I apologize to yeah right for burying his comment about his upcoming Thanksgiving under a pile of asses, but, you know: asses.

ballsofsteelandfury

Like these?
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ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Unsurprised

Wow. Yes.
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Horatio Cornblower

/Nods knowingly
Brazilian, eh?

Brick Meathook

A set of small plates I saw in an antique shop today:

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Horatio Cornblower

Looks like the White House has its new china!

Brick Meathook

Fuck no, I bought ‘em.

Horatio Cornblower

I really don’t see how you had any other choice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/Looks at TV and sees aTm in what looks like a very illegal offensive formation
(no flag)
//watches aTm throw a screen pass for no gain.
((ok that’s fine))

Brick Meathook

I just watched the last quarter of the Canadian college football championship (the Vanier Cup) and it was pretty good! The Université de Montréal Carabins defeated the University of Calgary Dinos.

The best part was that Montreal had a fat-guy kicker.

yeah right

Hosting Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving is fine. I like entertaining family and friends and obviously I love the cooking part. No, the part that fucking sucks is the house cleaning to get the house ready. Jesus, I’ve been going at it for 3 hours and finally finished.

The upstairs.

Haven’t even got to the downstairs yet. I’ll work on that tomorrow.
I’m fucking DONE for the day.

Unsurprised

Isn’t that why you have kids and grandkids to do that for you?

yeah right

They don’t get here until Thanksgiving. The daughters and eldest granddaughter are very helpful in the kitchen though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On the same day that poor tWBS is regaling us with his adventures in squirreling, my dog got her very first kill. Of a squirrel.

The cat had managed to corner it in the yard, and the dog came in and finished the job. It was actually a pretty stellar piece of teamwork. Clean kill and everything; seemed like a broken neck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I remember when my GS got her first baby rabbit. It was sooooo cute. God damn rabbits.

scotchnaut

I haven’t killed anything today. [sad face]

Unsurprised

/BOXCAR DOORS FLY CLOSED

theeWeeBabySeamus

Do they work foar scale?

I did finally get rid of mine today, but there will be moar. It’s still only November.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Kid Rock looks good!

Brick Meathook

Is this Croatian hip-hop? The guy in back should be playing a balalaïka.

herodotus450

Penn St. offensive line brought to you by France circa 1932

Redshirt

+eins

Fronkenshteen

Penn St. defensive line brought to you by Rome circa 37 A.D.

Redshirt

So in conclusion THAT’S WHY YOU KICK THE GOSH DARNED FIELD GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

herodotus450

Some pretty bad plays by Fields there, taking a sack and running out of bounds earlier.

Mr. Ayo

R.I.P. tree nutz

scotchnaut

Beck is a stupid Scientology dickbag. Am I wrong here?

Unsurprised

Not anymore, it would seem.

herodotus450

Backup qb magic not looking good enough for psu. Also, reffing and reviewing in this game has been conspicuously bad.

Spur

The Mandalorian is well written. Cab recommend it enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Its like Ohio State forgets they have Chris Olave and a functional passing game.

WCS

Woody Hayes never left.

scotchnaut

[hopes that this Ohio State/Penn State game ends in a tie]

-David Carradine

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[INXS plays in the background]

Redshirt

How is that not a Safety?

Redshirt

Too much time left to give up 2.

Redshirt

I’m an Ohio State fan, but this love for Chase Young is getting too Tom Brady-esque.

Redshirt

Penn State continues their fine, proud tradition of forcibly grabbing at other people’s balls.

scotchnaut

“Grabbing balls is absolutely disgusting! [whispers] What was that like?”.

-reddit user “Serry Jandusky”

Spur

Loose Balls!!!!!!!!! Pedo State knows how to grab those.

Redshirt

Announcer: “We’ve replaced the Ohio State Buckeyes with the Cincinnati Bengals. Let’s see if anyone notices.’

Spur

Right. Let this end here.

LSU
Clem
Sooners
Oregon or Bama

Unsurprised

If it’s between Bama and any other team save for ND, then fuck Bama.

Redshirt

I’m back from taking a literal dump in the toilet. I can see Ohio State just took a figurative dump on the field.

Spur

Down in Hell JoePa is smiling……..while the lava demons are ripping off his toes.

Spur

Woot! Woot! Go Pedos!

Spur

the great DFO question, Cowboys or Pats? Someone has to win.

Unsurprised

Meteor

Horatio Cornblower

Hey! I’ll be at the game.

Senor Weaselo

Care to reword that?