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Your “Get Off My Back!” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

Some might say I’m an hour late. I might say I got invited to an all-day college football drinking party, so kiss my arse. Really – it’s 50/50 as to who is at fault for why this post is on time versus an hour early like I regularly schedule it. But carrying a buzz through Penn State getting beat means I made the correct non-rapey choice, which in today’s social media culture means I win.

Did I just post some bro-country to justify my stance?

Tomorrow’s broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)

CBS SINGLE

█ Anchorage
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu

█ Carolina @ New Orleans – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

█ Oakland @ NY Jets – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

█ Denver @ Buffalo – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█ Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

█ Jacksonville @ Tennessee (LATE) – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

FOX EARLY

█ Anchorage
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu

█ Seattle @ Philadelphia – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█ NY Giants @ Chicago – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█ Tampa Bay @ Atlanta – Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth

█ Detroit @ Washington – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█ Miami @ Cleveland – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

UPDATES:

  • Indianapolis and Terre Haute IN; Utica NY: SEA-PHI to NYG-CHI

FOX LATE

█ Dallas @ New England – Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

This game will be nationally televised.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Avs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Rangers at Habs – 7:00PM | City
    • Blue Jackets at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
    • Oilers at Vegas – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • Arkansas at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
    • Kansas State at Texas Tech – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Temple at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Oregon at Arizona State – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN2
    • TCU at Oklahoma – 8:00PM | FOX
    • Utah at Arizona – 10:00PM | FS1
    • Washington at Colorado – 10:00PM | ESPN
    • Nevada at Fresno State  -10:30PM | ESPN2

I’m already drunk enough that WineWife has written off the evening with friends that had been planned. VICTORY!

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Unsurprised

Sucks for Oregon

0
Doktor Zymm

I like how sneezing makes me not sleepy for a few minutes

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Senor Weaselo

Did we make the usual Oregon joke?
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Senor Weaselo

One of these days I’ll get Frinkiac right.

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Unsurprised

Download it and rehost it.

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Unsurprised

Fun Fact: you can buy Oregon Duck merch with Donald Duck on it dating back to an old handshake agreement Walt made with someone there, but you can only buy it on the UO campus. I wonder if that includes the new Portland campus now. I’ll find out next week. Anyway:
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2
Brick Meathook

I’ve said it before, and I mean it.

Okay then. Let’s put an end to this.

1
Brick Meathook

I do so agree thusly. However? Yes. In that regard certainly. I believe this mightily. And then so? If it becomes as well, there you go.

1
King Hippo

BLOOD FOAR TEH BLOODEYES GOD!!!

0
King Hippo

Utah is ahead of Okies in the rankings now, I think they only need worry about UGA.

1
WCS

Watch Herm become the next Sea Truther.

1
King Hippo

I forgot that I had some moneys on Bloodeyes ML. WOO!!!

0
Redshirt

Arizona State does not teach Basic Subtraction.

2
Spur

but they do teach the pull out method

1
Spur

I plan to be hammered by Cowboys tipoff.

it dulls the pain

2
Spur

Big Love is ok but the Ducks are fun

1
King Hippo

WRONG. Secular Big Love are funner than hayell.

1
King Hippo

TAKE A KNEE, YOU MORONS

0
Spur

the Fluffer never stops

0
King Hippo

I always say GO FOR IT, but Bloodeyes can’t go the whole field if you punt here

1
WCS

My bad, coach.

0
King Hippo

SO SHOCKING that a side coached by Herm AND Marvin has trouble with end-of-game scenarios.

0
King Hippo

Miami just lost to Florida International. I’m pretty sure they can still win the ACC Coastal Division.

1
WCS

/Deion Sanders snorts three lines of coke to hold back the pain
//Deion Sanders would have done three lines of coke to celebrate

3
King Hippo

I wonder where the “hell 2 da naw” guy is?

0
TheRevanchist

For reasons of wanting to watch train wrecks, I am sad that I don’t get Browns-Fins.

1
WCS

BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

1
King Hippo

I can’t decide if Quack Attack or Steerfuckers North looks more laughable tonight. SAVE US some good playoffs, Team Secular Big Love.

2
Col. Duke LaCross

I think they needed to beat a 1-loss Oregon team in the P12 Championship game to have a chance though.

1
King Hippo

is still possible

2
Col. Duke LaCross

They’re gonna need help. That fucking USC game.

2
King Hippo

Steerfuckers North will lose Bedlam Game next week.

2
Redshirt

And Arizona St. gave up 14 points.

I should put forth my services online.

Redshirt the Bad Luck Viewer:
Promise NOT to view and support your favorite team………………….. $50
Promise to view and support the team you hate……………………………. $75
…………..if playing New England Patriots………………………………, $95
………… ,,if playing Pittsburgh Steelers………………………………….. $150
……………if playing Michigan Wolverines………………………prima nocta

4
King Hippo

SUDDEN CHANGE THO

0
Redshirt

Yeah I know, but I already copy and paste “prima nocta”, so I was Pot Committed.

5
King Hippo

is always heartening to see ONE OF US sober enough to use a ded language on a Sabado

2
Mr. Ayo

Looks like you’re going to need to lower those prices now.

1
Brick Meathook

It took me a bit to figure out, but “VGK” means “Las Vegas Golden Knights.”

They couldn’t just have used “LAS”? Or “LVG”?

1
Brick Meathook

Obviously everyone cares about this.

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Can’t do LAS because the Stars are going to relocate to los angeles

1
Brick Meathook

The who? The Dallas Stars? They’re moving?

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I was drunk, and therefore feeling mischievous. Although it would never surprise me after they bailed on minny, I have no information that the Stars are actually moving to LA

0
Senor Weaselo

Because they’re not the Las Vegas Golden Knights, just the Vegas Golden Knights.
/cue Travis Kelce wanking gif

2
Redshirt

Live shot of the #6 Oregon Ducks

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WCS

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2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I don’t think she’s even a scientist.

4
Redshirt

Stupid friends. It sounds like I missed one fun game here at Temple/Cincinnati.

Punter kneeled while taking a snap on his 3.
Blocked XP returned for 2pt Defensive Conversion, which is the current margin.

1
King Hippo

Nice humble brag, haver of for-reals-friends

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I used to believe that…” – Mrs. Philip Rivers

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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3
King Hippo

<3

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some concerns about heat distribution with this rib roast. Interior is still way down at 90 degrees while the outside is up around 130.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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0
WCS

Pig Soowie might as well ask to be transferred to Conference USA.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like I’m underdressed to be eating this prime rib (and drinking this wine).

0
Brick Meathook

Are you at home? EAT IT NAKED

3
Brick Meathook

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4
King Hippo

Marvin Lewis got FAT

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh dear God can you imagine what’s going to happen to Andy Reid when he retires from coaching?

1
King Hippo

#FullTimeManatee

0
Gratliff

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King Hippo

#EverybodyPoops

3
WCS

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3
Dunstan

I like how they added that “won’t somebody think of the children!” Like, if this guy had just shit on MY doorstep, it’d be ok because I have no kids.

3
Brick Meathook

No kids? Your doorstep is shittable, friend.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s why I have a sign on my porch that reads “We have kids; please take your shit elsewhere.”

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He can shit on the kids because they are short.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Man! Amazon’s delivery system has really gone down hill.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1
Dunstan

Davis Cup final tomorrow. GOOOOOO CANADA!!!!!!

2
Brick Meathook

Watching hockey in French is like watching soccer in Spanish: it’s much more exciting, because the announcers are more animated and I have no idea what the fuck they’re saying.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tu ne parles pas francais? Quel dommage!

2
Brick Meathook

EXACTLY

1
yeah right

I finally donated an entire bag of books today, probably 20 or so.
Then it dawned in me that maybe I should have offered titles and authors and see if any of you good folks were interested.

That’s a great idea for a post: used books for free! I’ll post some titles and let me know if you’re interested. We’ll figure it out.

Hey Rikki, I might have a copy of Martin Amis “Money” somewhere.

DFO Book club!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck yeah I’m interested in that!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Once I actually get around to reading The Hike I’ll happily add that to the DFO library.

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It’s pretty Meh.

1
Wakezilla

Got guilted into taking family to MILs Church dinner. It’s been hard trying to hide the smoke coming off my body. Currently in the toy room with Toddlerzilla trying not to melt.

Basically, I’m Eddie Murphy in a Vampire in Brooklyn when he goes to church

1
Brick Meathook

Christ loves you anyway.

3
yeah right

Godspeed.

Sounds interesting.

As long as you don’t have to drive.

1
Brick Meathook

Here’s a Montreal metro station with a pretty good café on the platform.

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1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Enjoy your time underground; we’ll see you in four months.

2
King Hippo

Rage napped through the 3:30 window, missed nada

0
rockingdog

LOL
Gonna tell my kids this was Cam Newton
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKAfqqzXYAAwkcl?format=jpg&name=small

2
Gratliff

Perfectly good copy of Shenmue 3 came in the mail and is now collecting dust next to my Xbox, and now I have to go find a PS4 black friday deal before my weird video game OCD forces me to go rob a neighbor’s house

0
herodotus450

Just go rent one from the nearest blockbuster

1
Gratliff

You mean the building that is now the 432nd dispensary to open in this town of 30k people in the last 12 months?

1
Brick Meathook

Pot or meth?

2
litre_cola

Do people just forget their brains the moment they step in to an airport? Jesus fucking christ I ran into 5 different people today who just stopped walking for no reason in the middle of a pedestrian walkway. Then looked at me like it was my fault.

2
Brick Meathook

Was it your fault?

2
litre_cola

No. People are fucking stupid, especially in airports.

1
Brick Meathook

That’s why they don’t let you bring guns there anymore.

4
ArmedandHammered

I hate when an entire family group just stops in the middle of the concourse and look completely gobsmacked, like Gomer Pyle walking into a strip club.

3
Brick Meathook

Jim Nabors’ idea of a strip club was the showers in a Marine Corps barracks.

2
Gratliff

“The people mover appears to be broken. Hope they fix it soon.”

1
Wakezilla

It’s a Calgarian thing. I was on the verge of losing my shit earlier today when the same thing happened to me

1
rockingdog

found a funny:
[When water has one thing in it]
SOCIETY: That’s gross you have to throw it out.

[When water has many things in it]
SOCIETY: That’s soup it’s food now.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prime rib is on sale this week, which means that there is a properly salted prime rib in my kitchen just waiting to be cooked for dinner tonight.

3
blaxabbath

Pounds?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Four and a half.

1
blaxabbath

Is this an oven thing?

0
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

YORKSHIRE PUDDING TIME MUTHAFUCKER!!!!

2
ArmedandHammered

Hell yeah, always do tenderloin and Yorkshire pudding at Christmas. At Korean New Year I do a Yorkie pudding.

3
Brick Meathook

You can taste the flavor
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5
yeah right

Dry age that bastard properly and it will be memorable. That’s New Year’s eve for me.

1
blaxabbath

I like college sports because blowouts matter. So now we’ll all get to enjoy Oregon embarrassing ASU on national primetime tv.

1
blaxabbath

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0
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Mason Rudolph got fined $50k. He totally called Garrett one of the Forbidden Words

1
Brick Meathook

Which one?

1
blaxabbath

N one.

1
Brick Meathook

Which N word?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nincompoop!” – Eli Manning

3
blaxabbath

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0
blaxabbath

The iron cross on Richie Incognito’s forearm is still glowing….

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t realize he was from South Carolina. That makes Garrett’s claim a lot more plausible.

2
blaxabbath

Oh, did Garrett claim that Rudolph is a career closet homosexual?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I should clarify that by “a lot more plausible” it quadrupled from 1% all the way to 4%.

1
Wakezilla

First weird/creepy thing Toddlerzilla said to me happened today.

Toddlerzilla: Daddy, can I check your neck?
Me: Go for it.

/Toddlerzilla measures my neck

with a scowl on her face: Daddy, it’s only 25 seconds.

Me: Uh, is that good?

Toddlerzilla: No, that’s bad! No wonder only masquitos like you

Me: How did you know. . .

Toddlerzilla in the most matter of fact way: You need to be at least 32 seconds for the Vampires to like your blood.

Me: ……

5
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It’s ok. Dr. Mrs. Mayhem apparently re-enacted the Salem Witch Trials (with accurate causes of death for each person) with her Barbies. She turned out mostly normal

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s true, I won’t go for anyone that’s less than 41 seconds, at least.” – Peter Thiel

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Our device only needs .112 seconds. And at least another $110 million in capital investment.” -Elizabeth Holmes

3
yeah right

Youngest right ritualistically removed the heads from Eldest rights Barbie collection and put them all in a neat little pile.

0
blaxabbath

Amazing how ASU manages to have uniforms that are both more bland than AND more obnoxious than Oregon’s.

1
WCS

Dinner:comment image

5
yeah right

I was leaning enchiladas all week for Sunday Gravy but fell back on old reliable beef stew. Got to use all of the veggies that would otherwise have been thrown out after Thanksgiving.

I’m trying man. I’m really trying.

0
blaxabbath

Oh snap, asu v Oregon is on the one channel I get. This may be a good opportunity to HATE.

2
Beerguyrob

It makes the world go around.

2
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

HATEHATEHATEHATE

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