Welcome one and all to our annual Thanksgiving Day Open Threadganza! If you’ll just look under your seats you’ll find a little treat we placed there. (and no, we didn’t place a security camera in the room while we were there, you silly billy! How could we profit from endless hours of you scratching your butt?) You can type here as you pretend to look at real estate listings on the other side of the damn country, away from your incessant naggin! I’ll never be like Spencer because I’M NOT SPENCER! Will your mother ever understand? Or you could feign looking up foster homes in the area-maybe that’ll give the kids some pause for thought before they inevitably end up breaking something else. Don’t for a second think you don’t have options.
TO THE GAME!
Bears/Lions:
I’m not sure this is a game intro or a pre-obituary for ex-Purdue qb David Blough. He’s the rook qb that is taking his first NFL snaps today versus a Bears D that has a habit of burying his kind. But I’m sure Coach Mangy has him well prepared what with the two walk throughs he was given with the first team earlier this week. The good news is that he has a very good chance of not being the worst qb on the field today because there is a TruthBiscuit out there somewhere. Both these squadoos have tons of injuries so the quality of play might not be up to the usual standard (heh!) we’ve become accustomed to on this most holy of footballing days.
Speak to us of what is in your oven, on your table/agenda. We Must Know!
So, as I am cooking, I listened to the game on the NFL radio station. They made it sound like both QBs are fantastic at their job. Can’t trust any media anymore.
Next thread is operational.
“Getting sacked and not fumbling the ball? Interesting…”
-Daniel Jones
COCKLICKER BLOUGH, I’MMA WEAR MY INDIANA U SWEATSHIRT REST OF THE DAY.
How often does Matt Patricia shower? Every six weeks? Months?
What’s a shower? That when the trainer comes over with a rag on a stick? – Matt P., Pontiac, MI
FUCK YOUR MOTHER, AMENDOLA
*Grumble grumble mutter*
– Bill B., Foxboro, MA
HOPE RESTORED WOO!!!
Hippo feels all like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUC2EQvdzmY
come on, you liquid shits
Qarabag match is putting me to sleep.
Isn’t that a new sleeping pill from Bayer Pharmaceuticals?
Do not use Qarabag if you are pregnant, or may become pregnant.
CHALLENGE YOU DUMB FAT FUCK!!
goddamned Cuck Lioun defense
I ain’t gunna cover
yup, we both loses
field goal then ot is the only way.
Trubisky is awful. Hope he is alright but gimme some Chase Daniel!
can’t be concussed with no brain ,, ppl forget that!
Bollo ded?
Unfortunately, not yet… I wonder, what is the Cuntler doing next week… perhaps he’s open to Don’t Care y’all into the playoffs?
Yeah right, give your wife an exercise bike for an’ the only fucking thing you’ll get is an endless barrage of “Wait? Are you saying I’m fat or something?! PREPARE TO DIE!”
Clinton-Dix coming too soon, heard that before.
here’s an eveeel thought to ruin your day – there are people on this site, perhaps even right now, that weren’t even ALIVE for the Oral Office incidents 😀
Or when Bill killed a guy.
AWFSIDE WOO!!!
QB draw would be soooooo open here
DO NAE FORGET! Shitty Wolves and FedEx hoopsball, 4p on ESPN2. At…
/u noe we likes it rawwwwww
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9BOUUxdEps
Happy Thanksgiving fellow degenerates.
I don’t have a gambling problem, a certain King around here maybe.
He doesn’t have a gamblin’ problem, he just loves to bet on the goddamn Bulgarian B-league 😀
той винаги печели
Montana! They’s teh tits
Also, pills and GAMBLOR ain’t problems – they is reasons to live!
c’mon, Fox. It’s African-American Friday PLEAZ
So, Hippo ol’ boy, are you prepared to watch the Gooners perform a Viking funeral for Emery on the field and shitcan the ashes of his career via a cannon?
My body is indeed ready. And I wonder if Everton snaps him up. Are y’all going with Arteta? I assume he’s told the Toffees no already. 🙁
The name I keep hearing most is Nuno Pinto (nee Wolverhampton), but I’m personally rooting for Arteta or even Bergkamp (especially if we figured out a way to reliably put him under general anaesthesia for away games in Europe)
The Athletic says Arteta was runner-up in the last search. Nuno would also be a good move, but I see him chafing at having less control than he has at Wolves.
Yeah, he’s already playing in Europe, has lower expectations working against him and hell, where things stand he’s outplaying expectations HARD, so he has the fans and job security on his side…. Honestly, I’d love to see Poch come here, but even if he’s already in North London, I doubt that he’ll risk crossing the DMZ into the GOOD part of North London 😀
I read he has a non-compete in PL for rest of season.
Ah, but that’s the key – “non-compete” … we don’t compete at Arsenal – neither in the PL nor in Europe, so he’s still good 😀
Well all it took to get the banner joke was to let 9/11 stew for 18 years and the Jets to do something competent. How about that?
Happy Thanksgiving all!
Holy cats, NEVAR thought I would live long enough to hear the likes of Troy and Joe discuss YPA.
Yugoslav People’s Army?
Glass Field airport in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan?
unfortunamente, this result (Draw) puts both through, so no real urgency to get a winner
Oh Bolo, that was a bad read.
What’s a read? – Bollo del V., Chi****, IL
will never not chuckle at HOEDING! Bless you, Sassy Ref
what a GOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL 3 y 3
Crazy. In these conditions it is amazing how precise that was.
Univision Deportes has all teh bananacakes
I figure in a city with such a deep musical history, FOX decided to go with the halftime show the kickers would enjoy.
When I think country, I think Detroit.
Kid Rock probably recknos hisself “Outlaw Country”
/instead, he’s just a cunt
#DreamGirl
A heiress to a billion dollar fortune with a dangerously unhinged psysche, surpassed only by her love for kinky, dangerous sex? …Mine and the wife’s dream girl too 😀
I’m starting to think that reading Hippo’s thoughts with the kids around me is a bad idea, ’cause I distinctly heard one of the daughters grousing that the Cuck Lions are destroying the Bearistocrats XD
#RaisingHerRite
Man, these guy’s road crew really sucks.
Uh, kids, no point in holding your phones up like lighters when the lights are all the way on.
/mah lawn, gerroff it
GOOOOOOOLLLLLLL de Braga! 2-3
Are they playing in a pasture? That field is awful
It’s been raining buckets
By the way, is anyone else “like totally” “shocked” and “surprised”, that from the “marquee” names that left Deadspin, only Drew is actually back to being paid to write dick jokes and NFL musings? 😀
Not at all. I wasn’t a regular reader of that site but I did read his stuff if any usually and his is the only name I know.
the rest mostly wrote NBA and pissed and moaned about Most Glorious el beibol Cardinals
Yeah, I could’ve phrased it a bit better … I meant that it’s funny how basically the only guy that actually was a draw to the site is the only one that appears to be gainfully employed right now, with the rest (as per Megan Greenwell’s “roster” of “stars o’ Deadspin”) slowly realizing that Twitter famous doesn’t mean shit 😀
Drew has written actual books (that are quite good), too.
Yep (I’ve got The Hike from him), which is why I was kinda annoyed by the staleness of his writing as I know he can be so much better , but even at his laziest and phoned in, he was light-years ahead of the next best in Deadspin. Honestly, I still believe that if he’d ignored the mouthbreathers on Twitter about joining the lemming rush outta there, Deadspin would’ve emerged basically intact (or perhaps even improved) XD
I liked Post-Mortal even better
Dom landed at NY Daily News and another, who’s name I can’t remember, just started at The Score.
God, Bollo es stupido.
Happy “Thank God the Natives Had Poor Immune Systems And No Guns” Day, lads and lasses!
If they’d had guns, they would have wiped the floor with the colonists. They fricking walked to North America. Europeans took a 20 000 year break and then they got on boats. Soft.
Actually I was referring to the part of them actually dying off before the europeans came in (any sort of ) strength. In fact, according to some books I read, over 90% of the natives had the basic human decency of first planting crops and then dying XD
If by break you mean relentlessly honing their war skills against each other. There was no chance. Unfortunately. The numbers would’ve eventually overwhelmed any resistance. They had it so good, too. I think about the landscape with no roads or cars or boats or houses or goddamned prairie tourists and it seems like a beautiful existence. You might die at 35 from a broken leg but you’d live so much more life. Free and clear, canoeing and hunting and living just to keep living, not working for a comfortable death.
This is a better game than I had hoped for. I wanted the COMPLETE dumpster fire, not this half-assed playing okay.
Bearistocrats! will have to throw now. Expect hilarity.
Trubisky never a fails to fail.
Hey, how are my Bears doing? What? What do they think this is, the woods?
Dad jokes on thanksgiving. The best kind.
I might be a bit behind in the game but is Trubisky throwing a knuckleball? It’s like he’s throwing it longways. Also, love seeing Barry Sanders run. Man that guy embarrassed a lot of people. I wish I could’ve outrun or juked someone. Just once. It looks so fun.
They should just show Barry Sanders highlights for two hours instead of this game.
I could watch his highlights all day long.
BUT THEN YOU’D MISS THE COWBOYS AND WHOEVER THE HELL THEY’RE PLAYING I DUNNO WHO CARES WE’RE ALL STRAPPED IN TO THIS TORTURE CHAIR ANYWAYS
Bleergh be praised. Tithings all over.
I cover bet Chi**** for $26 at +214. Now I can relax!
Pass interference on both player, wtf?
All praises to BLEERGH!