Your “Old JJ Tantrum Watch in Full Effect” Thursday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

The downtown Sudbury railyard is a bit of an eyesore but it’s my eyesore. It’s a little puppy compared to the Symington Yard in The Peg or the MacMillan a few hours south in Vaughan but it’s where I return every year. Plus there’s a soup kitchen a hop, skip and a jump from the center of the place. Most times I wander over there but this time of the year me and a few boys get together and have our own little cookout under the International Bridge which spans the skinniest part of the yard.

As usual The Bear showed up-this year he brought a pig’s head. A gift from a butcher that he helped out. See, that’s the thing. A lot of people like to call us bums like we don’t do a thing but we always try to earn our keep. Some days you can rake leaves for a few bucks and a sandwich, or maybe help a guy that’s re-doing the roof of his house. More than once I’ve just walked into a place and got a job mopping and cleaning toilets, it’s no big thing. This time of year that money all goes towards the get-together we like to call “The Big Feed”.

Rosie likes to work the farms all over and no one knows why. She’ll always have carrots and onions and the like. And so it goes. Some stuff gets put into foil packets and thrown into the fire. If there’s a source of water nearby some other stuff is made into our trusty old “Mystery Stew”. It always turns out okay but I think that food tastes much better when you’re in good company.

Tonight went as planned-our bellies were happy and we started filling it with some sort of fermented apple booze. It wouldn’t be right to call it cider but it’s not bad at all. As usual the old stories came out and a few new ones sprouted but we were all waiting for the yearly roundtable question to get started.

I went first-

-“I’m thankful I made it back here safe and sound and I get to see all your sorry asses again.” There were a few groans until Rosie barked, “Not mine, brother!” and then the circle erupted with laughter.

Porcupine Charlie went next-“I’m grateful for that Sally that licked my druthers in a coal car on the way to Topeka back in ’85!” He nodded and looked round, drinking in the hoots and guffaws that he knew would follow his proclamation.

Charger the Dodger, 54 and looking every year of it and more spouted, “I’m thankful I’ve got a little pisser on the way. She says it’s a boy.” Silence. Then Old Cobb spoke, “C’mon Charge, you can’t tell me you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Whoever she is, she just wants to rope you in! Goddamn!” Both of them were shaking their heads and Charger replied, “You takin’ me for a fool? She’s got a belly and the whole deal. I ain’t never had a scrambler around before-it’ll probably make me stick around for eight, maybe ten months!” More laughter.

It always turns into a bit of a game, with some giving thanks more than a few times. The themes are usually the same, good health, a new friend, a new spot to make some dough or to lay down one’s head. After all, in the end our needs are simple, but specific to the life we choose to live. I know for a fact that whether you hop trains, sit at a desk, deliver/build things, pour beer or shuffle paper, the desire for comfort, some peace and maybe a little affection is something we all share. Good night.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Cowboys:

It’s been made known to Jason Garrett that he can’t rest on his non-existent laurels for much longer. It’ll be curious to see if/how the players react to the swirl of jabberings that surround the team. Look for a gameplan that takes the ball out of DAK!’s hands and onto Zeke’s feet because the Bills can be run on. I’ve remarked on it before but Josh Allen’s Carnival of Wondrous Spontaneous Play-Making is the most entertaining football you can set your eyeballs on this year.

Go For It! (down below)

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Horatio Cornblower

I want the offense to come out, throw it deep four straight times, then shrug and walk of the field

Brocky

Last minute fantasy advice:

Brees vs Atlanta

Or
Wilson vs Minnesota

Minnesota has the better defense, but brees has the better matchup.

My dilemma is that I just have this hunch NO won’t be lighting the world on fire tonight due to the short week and underperforming opponet

King Hippo

ATL got to him 2 weeks ago, and Breesus don’t like the road. I think RW is at home, as long as that is the case…start him.

Brocky

True, but I also wonder if Sean payton is the vindictive type to treat this like a revenge game,

IE go all out against atl

Brocky

Eh fuck it, going with Wilson, I’m all but eliminated from my money league, wanna ruin other people’s season, have to go for the throat

King Hippo

Very plausible. Or they might run it 40 times.

King Hippo

7 minutes to I am teh Egg Bowl! Coo-coo, ka-choo!!

Horatio Cornblower

Prescott needs to do more of that.

Just, like, not when the game’s already decided. Like now.

King Hippo

You have the chance to get everybody hurt in a lost cause, you jump on it. I’m from The South, ah get it.

Horatio Cornblower

Jerrah’s gonna get under that salary cap if he has to kill every other player on the roster.

Brick Meathook

The Japanese say “ah so.”

King Hippo

wut yeeeeeewwww call me???

Viva La Tabula Raza
King Hippo

They put. Cooper. Back. In.

King Hippo

0.04 from 69. SO CLOSE to niiiiiiccccce

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I watched the early game at a friend’s house in the company of a bona fide lifelong Lions fan. His frustration watching the game put me in mind of my former self as a P*ts fan in the late 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. The empathy was palpable. Poor fucker.

Brick Meathook

I used over a pound of butter today, and that’s just what I stuck up my ass.

BaldingSpiritually

It made Dallas play poorly today, so do it again next week

Brick Meathook

I will. Join me.

Brick Meathook

Haha fooled you. I’m in America right now.

TheRevanchist

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Gratliff

Oh boy. That’s the season if he’s hurt

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah. That’s the season.

King Hippo

One also questions why Zeke is still in the match, though I’m ok with him taking extra hits.

King Hippo

now Coop, he die

BaldingSpiritually

Franchise decision just became easier for Dallas

Horatio Cornblower

Ball game.

Just kidding, that was last quarter

Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys also clearly miss Dawson’s Creek villain Leighton Vander Esch

King Hippo

why on Earth did he THROW that??

hippofant

Josh Allen? Am I missing something? Are you guys ahead of me? 🙁

King Hippo

Brokeback. Just take the 3, it ends the game. He got it anyway, but was risky.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dak looks constipated. Maybe he could use some yogurt

Unsurprised

He’s been in the can too long. All the goop congealed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just exploded in the bathroom, so I can give him some tips.

Redshirt

DFO Artistically Dramatic Interpretation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBtC_eKVVEE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wetter

Redshirt

So is Garrett fired on Monday, tonight or on the field postgame, or on the field in the middle of the game?

Horatio Cornblower

d. Friday

King Hippo

Jerral keeps him around just so he has to listen to the day-after abuse

Unsurprised

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Out of a cannon.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas D seems to be at least trying. No idea what the offense is out there doing.

King Hippo

getting worn down now

Horatio Cornblower

Yep

WCS

“Neither do I.”

— Dak P., Dallas TX

herodotus450

This is what happens to Dallas when they don’t make their annual Sean Lee sacrifice.

Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of Al Pacino, I watched The Irishman last night. Joe Pesci did an amazing job, but otherwise it’s just another mob movie, albeit a really long one. Good enough movie, but nowhere near worth the hype.

TheRevanchist

It was a bad week to start Dak when I had a perfectly good Indy QB sitting on my bench.

King Hippo

This is a rough day for the Non-Gendereds.

Horatio Cornblower

True, but the thought of roughly 100,000 unhappy Texans in one place is giving me no small amount of joy.

King Hippo

lots of hound dogs wisely hiding under beds tonite

Horatio Cornblower

Mine’s asleep. Wayyyy too many treats.

Horatio Cornblower

Rocket Mortgage is working hard to end homelessness.

Just not as hard as Scotchy.

King Hippo

watch ’em kick the FG. And miss again.

Redshirt

I can see Dallas is showing how much they want to keep Jason Garrett as coach.

Horatio Cornblower

They really do seem to be leaping at the opportunity to get rid of him. Quick TD just to show what they’re capable of, then absolutely nothing.

King Hippo

It’s cute how they pretend like Tracy eats.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, she eats. Digesting is another story.

Redshirt

She replaced her digestion system with an incinerator.

Mistborn Impossible

You never want to get Cole in your stocking! Hahahaha geddit?
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BaldingSpiritually

Trubs would have hit a fan in the head with that spike

ballsofsteelandfury

Even after this Ole Jerrah won’t fire Princeton.

Gratliff

Jesus Christ. Jerry might jump out the window

bk109

and swan-kick the… uhh… kicker and then go after the Clapper?

Horatio Cornblower

Good. The Cowboys might have a chance.

King Hippo

MOAR LIEK Dall-ASS, amirite??

WCS

SHANK’LOR better save some room for the weekend.

King Hippo

Our Goddess is infinite!

Col. Duke LaCross

HAIL SHANK’LOR!

WCS

YOU LEAVE HUEY LEWIS OUT OF THIS YOUNG SHELDON

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Where’s Fitzpatrick Bateman when you need him?

Horatio Cornblower

I think I can see why Hauschka is having all these problems kicking.
comment image?itok=-bxhE1s6

Helmet’s too big

WCS

DOINKGOAL

Petronel

BONNNGGGG

WCS

Oh, hi Jay.

Gratliff

A weird bit of darkest timeline news coming out as the PIR is selling the .org non-profit domain registry to a new private equity firm, Ethos Capital. This is hilariously shitty. Some creative bean counter has stumbled on to a way to leech money from non-profits

hippofant

Also the two principals of Ethos Capital are both associates of the former head of ICANN who made massive changes to the .org domain policies to make it more commercially viable, “coincidentally” enough.

Gratliff

I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been a play to monopolize the backbones yet

ArmedandHammered

Was that kids name Corinthian?

herodotus450

His brothers Doric and Ionic are proud.

Mistborn Impossible

Don’t forget about their cousin Hard Corinthian

Brick Meathook

Corinthian is the best leather

Gratliff

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MIKE BLOOMBERG

King Hippo

I seriously have no idea what his possible constituency is.

Gratliff

His base is Mike Bloomberg

Mother Puncher

People that like Biden but wish he didn’t hang out with that black fella so much.

Mistborn Impossible

Whoa, Ellie Goulding is mainstream now? That’s cool I guess. They made her sound pretty bland for this little show though

ArmedandHammered

I turned on the TV to watch the game and what the hell is this shit?

WCS

Further proof humanity is a mistake.

WCS

People get paid to come up with these “ideas.”

ArmedandHammered

And just think, there were ideas that got turned down!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m beginning to think the 2019 Cowboys are just falling apart.

Gratliff

Who the fuck are these people

Mother Puncher

Should have flown Brothers Osbourne down to play a second time with electricity

clint greasewood

We’ve reached the half way point of Turkey Day football.

Don T

Who picked out Nantz’s light blue shirt and green tie? John Dalton? Krusty’s haberdasher? Nantz’s wife in a fit of jealousy?

Gratliff

SHA’NKLOR FAVORS NONE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We haven’t even eaten yet and I am already so gassy.

Mistborn Impossible

The Cowboys fanclub should be called the Boy Lovers. I wonder if boylovers.com is taken

King Hippo

boiluverz??

Brick Meathook

N.A.M.B.L.A.

Beerguyrob

BLEERGH & SHAN’KLOR are going to Cass Elliott if they feast any more today.

King Hippo

PASS TEH GRAVY!! – Bill Maher