Did Fitzmagik come through? I’ve no way of knowing because I’m writing this at 10am EST and I can’t see the past from this here future.
TO THE GAMES!
Chargers/Jags:
Mike Williams had 10 TD’s on just 64 targets so he was a sexy fantasy pick back in August. Before he was dropped long ago by his owners he rewarded them with a big, fat zero 6 spots. With a bit more Williams magic he might become just the twelfth player with 700+ receiving yards and nada to show for it. That weirdo stat seems to be code for the Chargers entire season, don’t it?
Titans/Raiders:
Since he grabbed the reins in week 7, Tannyhill is fantasy’s QB5. My question: How does this make any sorta sense? His best wr is ranked #43 and his te is #20. But this team belongs to Henry and the Titans will ride him until the wheels fall off.
Chiefs/Pats:
Perhaps the smoke and mirrors show finally comes to an end here? Brady is delivering some god-awful stat lines week after week because he has no difference-makers at wr-no one that can bust off a huge chunk play. Edelman is fine as a first down picker-upper but that’s about it. I’m looking forward to the battle between Tyreek and the Pats secondary because you know Mahomes is gonna take his shots and why would he bother directing them at that bum Sammy Watkins?
Steelers/Cards:
What do we do with Kyler? His running ability keeps him in the fantasy starter conversation as does his 6 games with 2 or more TD throws. But what about those other 6 games with no TD tosses at all? Do you trust him, at home, vs. the Steelers, in your fantasy playoffs? Very tough call. As far as younger brothers of established pass rushers are concerned you could do worse than T.J. Watt and his 15 sacks.
Bring it. Again.
DENIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m only listening to CardinalsTalk instead of watching any football. I think I have perfected my NFL Sunday interest.
“To those of you expecting to see 60 Minutes, get fucked”
Even people who watch 60 Minutes are surprised their clicker landed on it each week.
Enough of Col. Sanders trying to nail Mrs. Butterworth! Get back to the game!
Missed opportunity to Trent Green Das Dreamboat…
Oh, come on! You had Brady dead to rights for a six yard penalty!
My teevee has been off for 15 minutes, and ain’t coming back on until SNF kickoff.
Turn it back on. TURN IT BACK ON!!!!
“T.Brady scrambles left tackle to KC 12 for 17 yards.”
Is that even fucking legal?! Tom Brady running?
Jdjsyywgsuhdhdhuxyrhdhucjfjdusyd6dhh**@^@< ^#&$,$>$,=&’dnej
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
Oh my god that is a brutal non-call.
“A runabout? What was he doing in a runabout at 4 in the morning?”
“Apparently, he was getting murdered”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUQdlrQGM3s
/sees ad for Tim Horton’s new bagel line
//realizes that drive-thru girl with huge tits will try to up-sell me on said product tomorrow morning
//is resigned to the fact that I will buy this new bagel product
OBEY THEM BIG OL’ TITTIES
Win it for Odo, Andy
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/rene-auberjonois-actor-featured-in-star-trek-and-altman-films-dies-at-79/2019/12/08/3f59c822-1a0d-11ea-b4c1-fd0d91b60d9e_story.html
Dago Red
Shit 🙁 He’ll be missed
DO IT FOR BIG BIRD AND OSCAR THE GROUCH!!
Oh no!
Why did I turn this on? The Steelers won, I was happy. Fuck.
You’re a masochist like the rest of us.
Must be. Hey, I have a health and safety question: I found a chewy caramel edible that’s about 4 or 5 months old. Do I take a chance on it, or is it certain death by food poisoning?
Are we all watching the Steve Harvey dick joke beauty pageant? Cause these girls need some affirmation.
Just got home. They are going to score a referee assisted td and go for 2.
This game is the Andy Special, and not the one that involves tying a live goat to a post
Penalties/Yds per ESPN: KC 10/136 NE 4/20
To be fair, the refs have literally taken 12 points off the board for the Patriots.
Tyreek Hill made a poor decision there, but I suppose I can hardly be surprised by that.
Christ they’re going to win arent they
Yes.
“Coach Reid, what was your strategy for covering Edelman”
“Glad you asked. In practice and in video we either had a guy wearing a yellow star or marked him with a yellow star so that we…”
/PR guy dives over the table to disconnect the mic
“If he criticizes Israel, we’ll say he’s anti-semitic. If he is pro-Israel but anti-Trump, we’ll say he’s being paid by Soros. If he’s pro-Israel and pro-Trump, we’ll take his money, but we won’t let the FBI investigate white nationalists.”
“In practice, we put a sausage on the back of the Jersey with duct tape. Not any kind of sausage, but one smoked while wrapped in duck fat, a total of 3 hours. I ate that sausage. And the jersey.”
Shit. I opened a beer, then had some bourbon. Then I opened another beer. This night is going off the rails in a hurry.
Where are the adults in my life? I can’t manage this situation.
Last I heard Higgins is in Hawaii waiting for Thomas to return the car.
/raises hand
Right over here. Bring the bourbon.
Got any weed? Bring that too.
This is some Reidian shit taking place right now
Humanity’s ONLY hope is the Ratbirds winning out. I don’t see them losing in the playoffs with home field.
“You see Jim, the eight consecutive holding penalties against the Chiefs is really what allowed for the Patriots come from behind win today. As well as the fourteen consecutive Pass Interference calls during the 2-point conversion.”
Facemask on the Quarterback?!
Fuck a Duck is now 3-0.
Time to watch the inevitable…
I am strongly leaning into turning it off.
whaaaat the fuuuuuuck
… Uhm… Refball seems a pale word nao..
Not even ONE goddamned first down. Thanks a bunch, Kelce.
Yes, that’s what I want to see: Chiefs receivers running around while swinging the ball like a purse. What could go wrong?
Bleergh is overdoing it, even by His standards.
Bleergh is well past his Major Tom phase, and is clearly at Ashes to Ashes
Someone punch Brady!
You know how I know that The Canada is better than youse? We just had a shootout in a city and only 1 person died. Suck on that, America!
Who was shooting? The mooses or the bears?
Bettman points getting out of hand
#TryHarderEh
Canadians can’t aim right I guess.
True. Most of us aim left.
I hate bars with fixed barstools. They are built by and for amateurs.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. Sounds horrible. What else am I supposed to swing when things get out of hand?
And here I would argue that most Barstool employees and fans should be fixed.
Yinzers gifted Qardinals at least 3 extra plays
/but Kyler has the pocket awareness of a squirrel
I might have to steal that for my next description of Josh Allen.
Confirmed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrm8TV7K4zo
Oh baby that’s the good stuff
straight into my veins!!
Right into my fucking veins.
I can picture Hippo and Horatio lying in bed together and each typing that joke into their individual iPhones.
I think this is my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten off the couch and stopped napping
Refs took 4 points away from P*ts, that’s good!
No, this one is all on Travis Kelce
Kelce’s trying to remember why his nose hurts.
Kelce’s trying to remember which one is the nose, and which one is the ear
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/884cbad008279d3957f9861b60d2f6d4/tumblr_nz9s0eGnSb1rs3j1zo7_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4Fvsgv0bYw
That isn’t even close. These refs are fucking horrible.
At least you see them murder both teams? That’s progress, I guess?
I just look forward to the NFL telling us what a great game the refs had, despite what our lying eyes told us.
And despite both teams being united in their utter disgust at the refballing in here?
indeed
Romo’s right, KC is dead
Bleergh, as is tradition
Belicheat out of challenges, at least
The Tits looking scary good.
All three of them look good.
So the uh resurgent RAIIIIIIIDAAAAHS aren’t really a thing, I guess
Dumbass Kelce
WTH refs.
They’re having themselves quite the game tonight.
Travis Kelce is literally the dumbest person on the field