TO THE GAMES!
Potato Skins/Cowblergs:
This is one of the rare times that I’ll be cheering for Dallas. With a win I’m sure that Jerrah will retain Princeton Red ( He gives the organization a little bit of class and shit ) thus ensuring that all the talent assembled will be squandered for yet another year.
Dregs/Snorty Horsies:
Thank heavens the season isn’t just 15 games long otherwise Hippo would rub Denver’s 6-9 record in my face the entire offseason. And he wouldn’t even have the decency to take the briefest of showers beforehand.
Unscary Bird/Vishnu Avatars:
Arizonny ambushed Seattle last week and is now in line for the 9th pick in the draft. The Rams thought that Jalen Ramsay was the cherry on top of the piece de resistance so they have all kinds of squat in the 1st round.
Smeagols/Gollums:
Both qbs are comin’ in hot! and are facing septenaries (yeah, I had to look that up) that are ready to-much like your ex-lay down and wait for it to be over while thinking about that bartender with the engaging smile and dreamy blue eyes. Or were they green? I’ll have to go back and see him again. I wonder which gym he goes to? [makes obligatory ‘uh’ noise] Where was I? Oh yeah, it’s obvious he takes care of himself and I need to start if I’m moving on from this dead end. If he talks about The Mandalorian again I’m going to shriek!
Old Guns/Shahid The Beds:
I was sure this game was gonna be flexed to the dark side of the moon.
Warholians/Poesers:
Baltimore is apparently resting a fair good’em number of starters and that’s a smart thingy because 1. risk of serious injury, 2. risk of getting banged up, 3. risk of the Pitt D perhaps providing a template as to how to defend that juggernaut of an O. I mean, someone’s gonna figure out how to limit its effectiveness at some point, right? (my money is on Belichick next year)
Nashvillians/Redundant Name Here:
Los Tits had (much like Derrick Henry) a good run right on up until (much like Derrick Henry) the wheels fell off. Like the Packers on the other side, the Texans certainly have the feel of a one and doner come the playoffs.
Do your thing.
Zeke is doing it
It’s about time he started feeding himself.
Decision made, getting drunk now and going to pack tomorrow.
Rikki is gonna black out at this rate.
I’m not drinking…oh, wait, you mean a RAGE blackout. Yeah, that’s a definite possibility.
maybe lift weights like 6 or 7 hours?
“The R******s need to lean moron Adrian Peterson”
They need to lean him on what?
That guy is getting laid later. Probably more than twice.
No shit. A cart came to take another Eagles player off the field after the TD
the silly ambulance from the old Madden game??
That wasn’t a joke! Brandon Brooks got carted off. Body bag season
RedZone just showed. That might take MOAR than dirt rubs.
That’s My Fumblers!
Hey Game Time Decision, I just go an ad for Ringo Starr and his all star band at Casino-rama. Is that like Lisa Simpsons number 2 band, with Oates, Garfunkel et al?
Rama pulls some surprisingly big names for shows
We need the Raiders to happen. Make the playoffs, beat the Pats, good mojo going into the move to Vegas.
nah, the Tits would be at least 50/50 to win. That is better than long-shot narrative.
I’ll have what you’re having and a open-minded busty, Eastern European mail order bride to boot.
In “Blind Squirrel Finds A Nut News”, Wentz throws a TD.
Eli gonna have to earn that extra juice box
Eli is getting a Red Bull today.
Olivia rushes to the sidelines after checking her phone.
Makes me think of Bart and Milhouse trippin on squishes.
FUCK YEAH EAGLES PLAYER #81!
I totally did that Grat. Perkins? 7th string?
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
He couldn’t even coordinate his td celebration better than the movie Cats
Touchdown Kendrick Perkins!
sure that wasn’t Anna Kendrick?
I’ve never understood the vest. My arms get cold too.
Brent vs Shuli and the year long “Swinging” story were great this year on Howard Stern
3-3, Eli will not be stopped
Again, to remind Most Glorious Commentist Party – Iggles can clinch with a DRAW. I am rooting so hard for this that my ears are bleeding.
E-B-O-L-A
/will rub sum dirt in it later
I am ok with this.
Giggles draw and a non gendered bovine person draw, please
oooooohhhh, better
“Pass interference…standing too close to the receiver and blocking his vision and stuff…first down Broncos.”
Horse Cock Lock!!!
I can’t wait until they codify Narrative Interference into the rulebook
it’s similar to my idea that “dogpile” fumbles should be awarded to whichever side demonstrates MOAR effectively/emphatically
You’re a Cowboys fan. They need to win to get into the playoffs. They’re up 6-3 vs. the Potato Skins. You must be a Proud Boy.
/Raiders go on to win 5-3
in OT
frankly, I’d be ok with that
BURN A CHALLENGE, CHUCKY!!!
I was joking but if the NFL thinks that’s indisputable evidence that he DIDN’T break the plane…
called nae on field, so has to be indisputable that it DID break plane (there is neither)
/oh, I meant the run on 4th. The 3rd was indeed mild-to-medium fuckery.
//apologies for errata, I got zero sleep last night. Awake since 9:50 Saturday am
Was it? I thought they had signaled touchdown, which is why it was reviewed without the Broncos having to challenge.
Yeah, according to ESPN the original call was a touchdown.
The refs really, really, really really, really
[this goes on for a while]
really really really hate the Raiders.
yeah, I would be quite pissed in your shoes.
I misconstrued – see edit above. Yeah, they said “score” on 3rd, “no score” on 4th
WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I kind of want to see DAK!! in the playoffs. Throwing lefty.
“After further review, there is indisputable video evidence that the player was wearing a Raiders uniform. Incomplete pass.”
“Per the rulebook, the New England Patriots will be awarded seven points prior to the beginning of their playoff game.”
Miles Sanders Injury. Nawt surprised.
better find some street FAs at the half
Like our DB’S!
they can go both ways!
/streams nae cross
Holy cats, Ike Yiadom MADE A PLAY??
/his man scores the very next play
He’s been improving all year. The seizures I get when I see the number 26 anywhere are hardly even debilitating anymore!
Seriously though, he is getting better, and even if Chris Harris leaves next season he’ll start the year no higher than CB #4. I think CB depth has become one of the team’s strengths.
Really liked the pick originally, but he’s had a tough go of things. Glad to hear from someone who gets to see full games!
What the fuck are the slurs doing
The fuck was that?!?!?!?!?!?
Turns out one needs one’s throwing shoulder, as a quartered back.
The usual? losing.
Trying. Ineffectively.
Safety watch in Jersey
Did RGIII break another knee yet?
I still can’t watch yet.
Mommy is such a hard taskmaster!
“Drew Lock has nice legs”
A quarter in and I still have no faith one way or the other in how this plays out
Why are you quoting my junior prom date?
Mark Sanchez is that you
Perhaps you should have paid her more than a quarter?
That was a lot of money, back in the day…
Did you tie an onion to your belt?
I wasn’t one of those foppish dandies…
Iggles gonna win 3-nil
LIne is 3.5 of course they are.
Hey, Non-Gendereds? Can you please let the Dacteds have at least a halftime lead? GAMBLOR implores thee.
How is the quarter over if there was no play due to a false start?
AP is a sleeper agent for the Cowboys.
he and Jerral were buds, may still be
Steelers losing, Titans losing, Colts winning…Raiders miss a wide open touchdown pass and then miss the subsequent field goal.
yeah, this is gonna be a dick-tripping spectacular
THAT”S YOUR RAIDERS!
Just like my coworker says, “I still think Gruden’s gonna turn them around!”
He’s a Packers fan.
Wentz is throwing to Lurie’s grandkids, and a healthy Dallas offense is looking up at them in the standings
Except the QB. These offenses are mirror-image healthwise
Miles “Better than Saquon” Sanders
JESUS CHRIST
How do Raiders non-head coaches/assistants always look like the inside of a garbage bag full of meatloaf mix?
My kids were seated next to some Raiders’ fans. They tried to refuse to move out of the seats when the ACTUAL ticket-holders showed up.
With apologies to Rikki…That’s (Classic) Your Raiders!!!
D-O-N-K-S!!!!!!
Yes, but was it because they were assholes, or was it because they were unable to decipher the system of numbers and letters that indicates where their actual seats are?
Yes.
I’m drunker than I could possibly imagine. Let’s do this!
This is the least convincing 13-3 team since probably the last time Kansas City went 13-3 or better
Now I REALLY want the Raiders to get into the playoffs, and not just for humor’s sake.
If they were to do so, and then beat the Patriots, I think it would be proof that some teenage troll had hacked into and taken control of the simulation we live in.
re, Tits game
If TEN wins, they go to Foxboro next week. Adjust accordingly your prayers / animal sacrifice.
I just killed a bunch of chickens by ordering chicken wings. Does that help ?
Gotta burn the fresh blood. Ochún is generous , but strict on ceremony.
Well then to China town I go!
I just killed millions of potential humans. Does that count?
I haven’t seen dolphins rape somebody like this since the time I went to that “swimming with dolphins” experience and the dolphins raped somebody.
Metaphorically?
That’s a nice story, Somebody.
Dallas shit show starts in 20 mins. I’m start drinking now
Heading out to the balcony to smoke a bowl now. Irish Whisky, Dayquil and weed for me.
I have a feeling the Zebras are to make some calls that are going to make the Dallas/Wash and NY/PHI games close
Let me get this straight. The Patriots pissed away the #2 seed. At home. Against the Dolphins.
Seriously?
I don’t think they did it seriously.
It’s like that time the school bully pissed his pants but instead of ending up with a concussion for laughing I just get a mild bellyache
From previous thread
Pats vs Raiders next week. Raiders win with a career ending injury to Brady on a tuck rule play
Dear Penthouse Forum…
They are pulling for the Steelers to get the 6 seed so they can spank their bare back, butt and balls in the postseason for the first time in a few years.
CBS also pulling for this outcome.
The entire gym has stopped to watch the Patriots
How are the Connecticutters?!? taking it?
Also a name of an Emo band from Hartford.
stopped…….fucking?
They’re watching Fox News? Why are you bothering us with this?