Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread

The countdown has begun. Only two more games after this one. Well, I’m sure people started counting down before now but I’m not able to handle anything beyond three so this is when I start. Both games today are rematches and the googler tells me that when teams meet again in the playoffs the winner of the first tussle is 22-14. Make of that what you will.

TO THE GAME!

Titans/Chiefs:

-Many on this site have adopted the Titans as their squadoo for the playoffs, forgetting The Ancient One’s prophecy regarding Mahomes being a multiple Super Bowl winner. It starts here.

-That is of course if they can stop the run. Another 30+ carries, 125+ yards rushed seems to be a mortal lock for Henry because the Chiefs give up 4.87 yards to opposing rb’s.

-And then the play-action passing game kicks into overdrive. Will it actually involve A.J. Brown though. He’s disappeared to the tune of 4 total targets the last two games. Perhaps Tajae Sharpe and his 70% catch rate (highest of all remaining wr’s) is the player to look for.

-One other mathy tidbit to keep in mind-Tennessee is 4-0 in games this year when they’ve been 4 or more point dogs.

-But ya gotta think that the Chiefs just have far too many weapons. They hung 51 points on the Texans last week and Tyreek didn’t even get involved. And conventional wisdom dictates that Kelce will keep on rolling against a team that gives up the 4th most scores to the tight end spot.

-Prediction Time! The Titans will score but the Chiefs will score more-they’re far healthier than they were the first time around. 35-21.

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King Hippo

I’d challenge that.

Spur

Romo is dressed like a hobo. I saw him stuffing newspaper in his jacket.

Dunstan

Don’t tell scotchy

King Hippo

Pretty big BLEERGH there.

Gratliff

I feel like that’s maybe not the best way to measure support

theeWeeBabySeamus

James Brown looks cold.
No, the other one.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Those bidets can get the better of you sometimes.

Unsurprised

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Game Time Decision

First play of fitbawl I saw today. Wow

Unsurprised

Same

Redshirt

“The part of Lamar Jackson will now be played by Patrick Mahommes.”

Gatoraids

Riker keeping that shirt open like the Lovers skit

Redshirt

If you’re married to Deanna Troi/Marina Sirtis, you’d want to be ready to go whenever she was in the mood, too!

Gratliff

Just took a look at a modern pic and she sort of looks like Shohreh Aghdashloo now

Petronel

At least it’s not Angel One…

Brick Meathook

I’d like to go on a Disney cruise and drop acid.

SonOfSpam

“Id also like to go on a Disney cruise and drop a kid.”

– A, Peterson

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d like to go on a Disney cruise and drop acid.

Game Time Decision

Naw , wall to wall kids would freak you the fuck out

Dunstan

“Tell me more…” — J. Sandusky

King Hippo

This half was as good as FITBAW gets.

Gratliff

Getting the feeling the back half won’t be so meaningful

King Hippo

I think the Tit Men have one surge left in ’em, but likely won’t be enough.

Dunstan

“Slo-fies” : because narcissists were running out of excuses to photograph themselves?

SonOfSpam

Bad. Ass.

Gratliff

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SonOfSpam

Matt Groening draws Kelly Anne Conway?

Redshirt

Nah. This drawing still have her soul.

theeWeeBabySeamus

MaMobileHomes?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Spur

Andy Reid cannot stop Mahomes

litre_cola

Ok, that was special.

Old School Zero

hoooooleeeeee mahomes…

Mr. Ayo

Mahomes to the house!

King Hippo

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Dunstan

Chiefs still have 2 timeouts? Did Andy Reid take a nap like I did?

Gratliff

You had a good run, tits

Dunstan

— Menopause

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was going to make a breast cancer joke, but that seems out of line.
(ahem)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og1QRtcWdEY

Redshirt

You can blame Seth MacFarlane for that -1

theeWeeBabySeamus

Glad someone got the reference.

Redshirt

– transmale going into reassignment surgery

Spur

– Angelina Jolie

Gatoraids

I’d only Kern played for the Bengals so his punting ability could shine

King Hippo

has anyone ever franchise-tagged their punter?

Mr. Ayo

Apparently that’s happened twice before.

BC Dick

Pretty sure a kicker has been tagged. If anyone really cared about punters they might have that kind of info.

Redshirt

Probably. If you have a punter that can punt the ball half the field and pin it inside the five constantly, you wanna hold on to that guy.

EDIT: Giants (who else) franchised their punter in 2012.

Redshirt

You really trust the Bengals punt team to block for him?

Redshirt

Oh no. That Harley Quinn Birds of Prey movie was real?! I thought it was just something they made up to scare people like the Boogieman or bipartianship.

Gratliff

I almost feel like I should watch the DC movies just to see if I can understand why they keep making them. All I see is people complain about them, but there’s somehow more always in the works.

King Hippo

did that ad hint at lesbian content?? I’d watch that.

Redshirt

They’re going to rape my beloved memories of Cassandra Cain/Batgirl. Does that count?

BC Dick

Those and anything with magic, superheroes, or lasers are all just kids movies

King Hippo

PREACH, DICK.

LemonJello

But…and hear me out here…what about a movie where the laser is the superhero that uses magic to make things explode?

Game Time Decision

Michael Bay starts to write screenplay based on this idea

Dolph Ucker

I liked Aquaman. But, yeah.

Gratliff

Dion Lewis should take himself out of the game. They’re gonna hit him with a piledriver one of these plays

King Hippo

VERY important to score here, and use all the time on the clock. Since KC gets la pelota first in Q3

King Hippo

This guy Scotchy, I call him Chuck D ’cause he noes wut time it is!

litre_cola

Wouldn’t that be Flava Flav?

King Hippo

nah, he had the clock, but then he had a VH1 show chasing some white devil

Old School Zero

No, see, Flava Flav wore the giant clock so Chuck D could always easily check what time it was

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice toss. That was pertty.

Gratliff

Can we have someone other than Tyreek Hill be the star of a very good game?

Old School Zero

Realized earlier this week I’ll be traveling for work on Superb Owl Sundae. Have to go to Orlando, via Newark, and I’ll probably miss most or all of the game. Figures.

Mr. Ayo

Resign ASAP

Old School Zero

I keep hoping they’ll lay me off but noooooo

Redshirt

Why is the referee holding napkins in both hands?

Old School Zero

Coach Andy found the pulled chicken catering tray

Redshirt

I never thought I would ever say this in my life, but please so Pittsburgh Steelers videos. Matt Vrabel played for them too!

tomsellecksmoustache

Kind of. Coach Chin couldn’t figure out how to use him. He failed that way a lot.

Redshirt

Ah. Like Kordell Stewart.

If it wasn’t for Pittsburgh getting a QB who could throw and Palmer getting his knee blown up, he wouldn’t have gotten his ring.

Old School Zero

Now that’s excellent

Redshirt

fat guy and tight end

Are we still doing Pornhub search requests?

Petronel

FATTISHGUYDOWN

King Hippo

FAT GUY TOUCHED DOWN!!!!

Old School Zero

FAT GUY TOUCHDOOOOWWWWWNNNNNN

Mr. Ayo

FATDOWN!

Redshirt

So they have a Play Package centered around Marcus Mariota?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

YO MOMMA SO FAT HER PLAY PACKAGE GO AROUND MARCUS MARIOTA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/duck farts

Oh my God. That’s Marcus Mariota’s music!

Old School Zero

I haven’t seen a bunch of titans bailed out like that since 2008

King Hippo

DPI on 3rd and 22, when just checking down. YIKES

King Hippo

and a good call. HAIL BLEERGH

rockingdog

LOL
Henry Totes gonna score here…

litre_cola

Why did The Cardinals give up on Mathieu?

King Hippo

In fairness, the GM was likely drunk

theeWeeBabySeamus

They give even less of a fuck than the honey badger?

BC Dick

Fast, physical, versatile DBs didn’t fit their scheme.

Redshirt

Thanks to a commercial break, I got caught into the last third of a 25th Season episode of Simpsons. Its like my elderly grandparent who is still alive into their 90s: they both show flashing of past brilliance, but the rest of time they show a discombobulated staleness that if I had any heart, I should risk eternal damnation in the fires of Hell and smother them with a pillow so they can be released from this corporeal existence.

Anyway, back to the game!

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State women’s bball won just now to move to 17-1.

I know you were curious.