The eyes of a nation shift from Kansas City to San Francisco. The tv is changed from CBS to Fox. Mozza stix have been replaced by chicken wings. A glass of scotch that doesn’t need to be topped up is topped up. Balls are scratched. Someone finally notices the huge mustard stain on his t-shirt. A thought is given to exercising and is quickly dismissed. “Japanese threesome” shows up on a search history. All this and more is going on right now!
TO THE GAME!
Packers/Niners:
-I still maintain that Green Bay is the most nondescript three loss team in ever. How do they win? It seems as though Matt The Flower tossed the keys to the other Aaron (Jones) and he’s the fella that makes the team go. Given that they’re in the champeenship game they must be doing something right. I just don’t know what it is.
-The Green Bay Smith Boys (Za’Darius and Preston) are the only teammates to have 12 or more sacks this year. I guess that’s something.
-On San Fran’s side the combo of Bosa and Ford are legit game-wreckers. The NFL’s average sack rate is 6.5%. When those two are on the field together their sack rate is an incredible 17.3%.
-Funny how Shanahan The Younger is just like the old man in that you couldn’t trust which running back he would go with. By all accounts Mostert had wrestled control of the #1 spot as the season came to a close but then Coleman went off last week. I think this speaks well of coach not embracing a specific strategy going into a game and just going with what works. “MID-GAME ADJUSTMENTS!” Are you listening, Pat Shurmur?
-Prediction Time! Let’s do 28-23, Niners.
I go for it here. Even if you don’t make it, GB is unlikely to aggressively try to score from their own 9. That’s better than 3 points in expected value.
Bill O’Brain disagrees.
49er’s Jam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GZbaXdK8Js
Chaser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQGLNPJ9VCE
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EOrJ3cxWoAEbCYK?format=jpg&name=small
I’m not sure what this is about, but am reasonably sure it has nothing to do with Bears kickers
That is definitely a run defense that they are fielding
Who’s consuming more cheese today: stress-eating Wisconsinites, or celebratory Andy Reid?
Andy already hit the pudding vaults. Cheese too much of a choking hazard
Plus it binds him up somthin’ turrible and then he can’t get all teh meats in.
Who let Jerry Rice dress himself?
apparently he’s good friends with a blind person on PCP
Not the normal type of burning sensation Rob Lowe is used to
Rob Lowe wearing a plain “NFL” hat. What a goddamned WHORE.
Kid’s size, I’ll bet.
That’s the most awkward Rob Lowe appearance since the “St. Elmo’s Fire” music video.
I would have an ETOH level of .380 if I took a drink every time Buck fucks up Mostert’s name
Beautiful. Just a beautiful blocking and running
You know, as a Bengals fan I hate it when the 49ers win…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnOSkB7O2ug
I remember mocking my little brother’s tears during that Montana comeback. Karma paid me (and Donks WOO!!) back handsomely.
Yes, Karma did went to town on your ass. My team took the Team of the 80s to the limit. Your team played the slave to the 49ers’ master for 60 football minutes.
a’ight, now who wants to huff some computer duster?
Way ahead of you white boy.
Now it’s time foar freezer vodka.
If you look long enough, a flag will magically appear
BLEERGH’s weakness is a Care Bear Stare.
That is so beautiful
It really is.
Zapruder could only dream of capturing something so beautiful
Back and to the left?
one of these teams is not like teh other…
Current mood in Wisconsin
HAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh shit! Mebbe the end of the All State Bowl?
Gives him even more time for commercials
Good night, sweet pack
Its 80s Night at Levi Stadium, because the 49ers are going back to the Super Bowl and the Packers are stinking up the joint.
Those Kenny Rogers Jackass bits were some of the funniest shit ever.
I think about Mad TV sketches a lot. Remember when we didn’t hate Frank Caliendo yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDBab-WBdIQ
No, I don’t remember ever not hating Frank Caliendo.
Check out Will Sasso on The Fighter and the Kid podcasts. He’s amazing.
Pictured: Kruger after drinking Hippo’s beer.
The colouring is pretty close. But Kruger only makes his irritated, judgy face whenever anyone drinks alkeehawl.
That’s only because you’re not a good sharer.
My late,lamented, much missed cat B-2 used to give us the stink eye when we smoked weed. We called him Nancy Reagan
I thought the game started now. I guess it is over.
Still no idea how they got to 13-3. I’m surprised any of the 5 other teams lost to them.
You know what has literally never troubled me? My fucking tailgate!
Wait until you turn 50
I was fine at 50. The three years since then have kicked my ass.
No kidding! I just eat some roadside food and that thing swings wide open the very next day!
Time for another cervesa preparada!
…is that where you open a can of PBR?
But with flourish!
I hope he’s dead
No, the alligator broke his fall.
And his tibia.
Dress for the slide, not the ride
This is true for lots of situations.
Green Bay playing like Leastert.
Get fucked Green Bay
And that’s how you show support for an injured teammate!
You could see all the tendons and ligiments pop in his arm when it hit the turf.
MostertDOWN redux
So I guess me recommending to BFC to start Coleman ain’t going so goodly.
my warning was prescient
WELL HE HAD TO START SOMEBODY!!!!
I’m so happy for Otto, where ever he is.
Tevin needs a tast.
That wrist is fucked the hell up.
This is … not good.
aaaannnnnddddd that’s a horrifyingly borken wrist
But mebbe shoulder, also?
Yeah, there’s gonna be some metal screws and plates involved in that repair.
It’ll buff right out.
[edited to put under the correct comment]
“Nailed it”
– Blair Walsh
ACCURATE
Who is gonna break it to Mike Bloomberg that nobody wants him to be President?
I’ll do it for $50k
I believe Mike will give you more to say that you do
I’ll do it for free. Fuck off, Mike.
I think he’s doing it just to troll Trump.
“Not it.” — highly paid political advisor
“Not it.” — highly paid marketing consultant
“Not it.” — highly paid social media marketing consultant
“Not it.” — highly paid person whose job is completely unclear
“Not it.” — intern suckered in to working for free who gets shit on by everybody else
“Not it.” — idiot newsrooms
I want him to win because it will hurt Trump more. I could say how much, but I don’t want the Secret Service to be visting me in an hour.
“I CALL THIS GAME NIELS BOHRING BECAUSE… NEVERMIND.”
-The remaining members of Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Because it looks like plum pudding?
INJURY PIANO do a shot and throw your back out
Brave sneak! YOU GO, grrrrlll!!
You know, the Packers are expecting us to go with a whole lotta Kittle-up-the-middle, let’s just go with an all-Mostert first half?
– the brain of baby Shanahan
DO NOT try to forecast said brain with your fantasy lineups.
“Kittle Up The Middle” was why I quit being an altar boy.
That A.A. Ron contention window be closin’ fast.
They could only get it open so far after McCarthy had it sealed for so long
So excited to see how he’ll strangle the prime of Dak’s career in the womb.
McCarthy is not a “Dallas” guy. he’s going to have to win a SB or GTFO. that’s really the only silver lining from his hiring.
Nailed it.
– You know who
“Me?”
– Trent Green
“No, me!”
– Ben Roethisberger
“I like people that hurt themselves.”
-a cutter
Heckuva punt there.
J. K. Scott – The J.K. stands for “Just Kidding I’mma shank this bitch.”
Hahahahaha
Fun Fact: Also a phrase often heard in the Prison Yard.
That’s odd. Rodgers usually keep a good grip on the balls.
Since when does the NFL let twelve-year-olds punt (outside of the PPK competition, anyway)?
You love to see it.
Packers punter looks like a disposable soldier on Chernobyl
36 Roetgen punt not good not terrible
Packers can’t melt down, not possible