NFL Notes:
- The Cowboys, since there’s nothing else to do, have started contract negotiations with Dak Prescott.
- The mavens at NFL Network seem to think the sticking point will be about duration rather than compensation.
- It’s rumoured that Dak wants a four-year deal so he can hit the market again while still in his prime.
- The contract rumours also point to Dallas offering $33 million per year with $105 million guaranteed.
- The mavens at NFL Network seem to think the sticking point will be about duration rather than compensation.
- Ravens president Dick Cass is the first team official league-wide to come out & admit OTAs may not happen.
- Via the team’s website, he added, “I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping we can get some players in [the facility] in June, but I’m sort of doubtful of that.”
- He’s predicting that training camp is the date most teams should reasonably target for getting players in the door.
Stealing from Crimebeat! – civil courts edition:
- Tom Brady files trademark application for ‘TB x TB’
- The trademark is sought for commercial use, including on t-shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, sweaters, jerseys, sleepwear, athletic tops and bottoms, and headwear.
- Brady filed the trademark application the same day it was announced he was joining the Bucs.
- ESPN notes this was his second trademark application, as Brady had previously filed a trademark request for the phrase “Tom Terrific” in June of last year but was denied because the USPTO stated, “TOM TERRIFIC points uniquely and unmistakably to the identification of Tom Seaver and the fame of Tom Seaver as “Tom Terrific” is such that a connection between Mr. Seaver and the applied-for goods is presumed.”
- So, another NY team not named the Jets was able to beat Brady.
- ESPN notes this was his second trademark application, as Brady had previously filed a trademark request for the phrase “Tom Terrific” in June of last year but was denied because the USPTO stated, “TOM TERRIFIC points uniquely and unmistakably to the identification of Tom Seaver and the fame of Tom Seaver as “Tom Terrific” is such that a connection between Mr. Seaver and the applied-for goods is presumed.”
- Lamar Jackson sues Amazon over unlicensed apparel sold by third parties.
- He has sued in federal court, because – like with Brady – it involves the US Patent & Trademark office.
- According to ESPN, Jackson has asked for “the court to require Amazon to count sales it generated from merchandise that features Jackson’s name, image or likeness and ban the website from offering such items without authorization,” according to the lawsuit.
- Jackson is also looking for additional damages that he feels “Amazon inflicted upon him and his company.”
- 49ers agree to settle mobility disability case for $24 million.
- It involves access to the stadium from the parking & transit areas.
- Specifically, the lawsuit alleged that the defendants “violated state and federal disability access laws by failing to make Levi’s Stadium, the parking lots, pedestrian right of way, and shuttles that serve it, as well as the ticketing and other services Defendants provide to the public, readily accessible to individuals with mobility disabilities and their non-disabled companions.”
- Florio makes sure to point out that each person who submitted a claim will receive up to $4000, but the lawyers will get $13.4 million.
- The also had to publish a public notice on their website & social media:
- It involves access to the stadium from the parking & transit areas.
https://twitter.com/49ers/status/1243245118179536896
In lieu of today’s “Good dog” segment, may I present to you Ms. Lynda Carter.
Keeping fit while social distancing.
Be as strong as you can, everybody! pic.twitter.com/vnuX1a84fY— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) March 26, 2020
Yep, that’s the good stuff.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 8:30 PM | NBC / City
- When a prank goes disastrously awry, things at the Nine-Nine take a distinctly Agatha Christie turn.
- Classic NHL:
- 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- 1989 Stanley Cup Final – Flames/Canadiens Game #6
- 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- Classic MLB Baseball
- 7:00 PM | ESPNCLS
- Los Angeles at New York Yankees in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series. The Yanks won 8-4 to clinch the Series.
- 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- Blue Jays Classic – 1992 World Series Game #1
- 7:00 PM | ESPNCLS
- Top Chef – 10:00 PM | BRAVO
- After an exciting Top Chef All Stars LA Season 17 premiere, the cheftestants look to honor the late, great Pulitzer-Prize winning food critic Jonathan Gold.
- Reminder – both Padma & Gail will be there.
- After an exciting Top Chef All Stars LA Season 17 premiere, the cheftestants look to honor the late, great Pulitzer-Prize winning food critic Jonathan Gold.
So, there’s plenty to discuss.
To hell with feet. More squirrel dirty.
HOT SQUIRREL AAAAAAAACTION!!
Are those… are those GAY SQUIRRELS?
But I was assured that homosexual behavior was unnatural?
SQUIRREL STRAPON ACTION!!
oh wait…
I think they’re just tiny furries.
It is. Squirrels are an invention of the commie left wing media. They’re just rats with genetically engineered feather boas for tails. Even their squirrel chirping has a lisp, but in squirrel.
How does that thing turn
It takes four brave and stout men at the helm.
This is possibly the greatest cat gif I have ever seen.
You see Hippo, some fetishes start when you are very young.
Also deep seated fears.
Slumber Party
Nudie Times
Drinky Drinky
You got one of your kinks disparaged below.
I know you’re on my side. That’s all that matters.
I think social distancing is getting to you.
Why was someone filming that?
If I saw that I’d start filming…. for the record.
True. I was thinking they were just waiting in line filming life. Or they set it up.
Best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzMLLmcD1mE
On the ticker at the bottom: “Must start fantasy QB: Terrelle Pryor”
Oh how things have changed
“Sean Lee injured, out for the week”
Oh how things haven’t changed.
The two most impressive throws I’ve ever seen (just launching it with all their might) is this one and Joe Namath at Alabama in 1965. (of course I can’t find it). Bear Bryant did say that Namath was the most gifted athlete he’d ever coached, ever.
Found a funny:
40 pizzas in 30 days doesn’t sound so crazy anymore does it
He did say “The Reckoning” was coming. Is Papa John responsible for all of this? Jesse Ventura needs on this shit now!
Aw man. I remember that guy Kommenting back on the mothership.
i thought that was one of the all-time great user names
Aw man, I can’t believe the beer got spilled!
“Hold my beer!”
Hope they were wearing their brown flight suits that day.
As a blackshoe engineer in an airdale AIMD in Corpus Christi, and later as a flight deck crash crew scene leader for our pair of H-46 helos, I got to watch this too many times during my service. You probably saw it too. Fun fact, much later found out it was John McCain’s plane from which the missile detached itself and fired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6NnfRT_OZA
oh yeah i had to watch this several times
I became a bit of a firefighting maven on the supply ship I was on. As the only MR on board, I was attached to R division with all the HTs (they hadn’t split out DCs yet), and to be honest was pretty bored for most of the time; not a lot of MR work to be had. I kinda got into the whole damage control thing so I could avoid as much as possible having to go unclog shitters with the HTs; told the HTCS I didn’t know how to weld so I was able to avoid stringing welding leads all over the fucking ship; updated and re-wrote the ship’s DC PQS booklet; got 88 bucks a month haz pay to be the flight deck crash crew chief, and was the only dungaree-chambray-dixie-cup-wearer to be made a member of the previously khaki-only DCETT team. Firefighting training was always a blast, whether at the Fleet Trng Group at Yokosuka or underway in the IO or the North Arabian Sea or the Sea of Japan for Team Spirit with the ROK navy.
I went through the smokehouse at Great Lakes and at Charleston. I did the submarine flooding trainer (the “dixie cup”) twice at Charleston.
How anyone can know about how he acted that day and not think he deserved to be a guest of the Hanoi Hilton is beyond me.
????
Maybe the whole “shut everything down and go in quarantine” thing is a subtle way of the government telling us we’re all fat and could stand to skip a few meals.
Kitteh!!1!11!!
Let’s start this “I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE MY TEAM PULLED THIS PLAY OFF!” properly. As a Jizziants fan, I’ve no choice but to go here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxiHMIM4NWI
I was in tears (FUCK YOU, was a kid), then this happened:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5rQmdKKQgI
Dick Enberg calling AFC playoff fixtures is sommet I still miss. Righteous dude.
NOOOOOOOOOOW who has a weird fetish?!!?? SMGDH.
oh my??
FACK YOU YOU FACKIN’ FACK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJPf4h9GZvg
That was a heartbreaker. Just like this one. The Giants were a beast that year and Flipper “Fucking” Anderson did this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwyHGP4k5Es
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCRF5EpPNwU
Also, if anyone is ready for some POKAH, I am sitting, waiting and ready to take your fake monies.
Maybe we could post absolutely insane plays that your team pulled off that spun your brain round. I submit Karlsson to Hoffman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZ_EuE0Ks4
Germans can’t figure out how big she is!
To this day, I’ve never come closer to cumming in my own pants due to sports than when I saw that play unfold.
Well, other than the Olympic women’s beach volleyball tourney, but that’s kind of a gimmie, really.
The shift: Richards edition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs_3PeQQUxc
So…when the economy starts back up and there’s, like 20% permanent unemployment – can we at least opt for drones to liquidate us from the sky? Because I ain’t into #HoboLyf
That must be from Lampoon or some other Onion precursor. I have 5 cardboard boxes full of 70s & 80s Lampoons, underground comix, and Conan the Barbarian comics from number 1 onwards. I was gonna toss them, but now I think I will save them for fire fuel after the coming Poxaclypse.
“Our Dumb Century” from The Onion
a book that I indeed own
Last year I bought all 12 1971 issues of National Lampoon (in a binder) and I paid $100. If you’re going to toss those give them to me.
I do have complete 1974 in the yellow binder. Trick would be shipping, shit is heavy.
I think that book is on the toilet tank in my cousin’s bathroom up in Massachusetts. I know I have perused it.
I wouldn’t mind going out like old Edward G in Soylent Green. Hell, you could even turn my remains into a cracker, I wouldn’t be around to give a fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efIYD73BXF8
Balls?
Funny, she (?) doesn’t look Thai…
But if I squint a little she looks like Keri Russel
one on.
Not to kink shame, but FUCK IT let’s kink shame. I don’t get the whole “foot fetish” or “crush porn” genre. Feet are fucking gross.
Nah. Ladies have nice smooth little feet. Men’s feet are gross, women’s are nice. Like legs.
I also am partial to a nice lady armpit.
Especially when they make fart noises.
Wait till you get old. Men’s feet go from gross to downright repulsive. Source: personal experience.
Don’t pull an internet “I don’t like, so it SUUUUCKS!” bullshit just because you don’t get it.
I also don’t understand how every woman isn’t a lesbian, because MEN are so fucking gross.
I’ve dated two women who absolutely wanted their feet treated as if you had a foot fetish. Don’t be such an closed minded dipshit.
Also; those with Gummy fetishes should not those dildos.
From some wobsite:
That is some top-notch psychobabble right there.
“My name is Blonde. Jane Blonde.”
/I’d prefer to be stirred, not shaken
My name’s Plya. Plya Bull.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=415Rdmbg2Qc
Halfway through Im noticing that they show Babcock after pretty much every one of these plays; I wonder why/how he got such a big ego?
That has gotta be shopped. Awesome though.
YA THINK?!?!?
It’s from one of the Megacrock movies.
Dolphins can be real jerks
Gotta be. Real 90,000 ton crocodiles live in fresh water.
On a dive trip down Baja back when I was about 15, we camped at this place called Bahia Gonzaga about halfway down the eastern coast of the peninsula. There was a neat little bay there (hence the name), and on our 2nd day there this school of whale sharks showed up. We were able to go out where they were hanging (munching plankton, I guess) and climb on their backs and go for a ride underwater, they didn’t seem to mind at all. At 25-30 feet and several tons, they could have definitely wrecked your day if they so desired. You just had to keep an eye on your depth gauge in case they decided to head for the bottom you could let go and not have to go too deep.
So we went out and rode the whale sharks a couple times a day for two days. On the third day, the weather was shitty so we stayed ashore. A school of orcas came into the bay that day and slaughtered them. The beach next day was covered in whale shark offal. We decided not to dive anymore and headed home before it got stinky.
It probably is, but seeing how 2020 isn’t pulling any punches, it wouldn’t surprise me if this becomes real later this year.
She wants it. Ya know why? You did the dishes for once. WAKE UP MALE SHEEPLE!
Happy Fauxpening Day, everyone!
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2020/03/26/social-media-reactions-opening-day-home-mlb-cincinnati-reds/2921449001/
The next time someone bitches about COVID-19 and being stuck at home, tell them if Cincinnati can delay Opening Day, they can stay at home into COVID-19 goes away.
I’ve resorted to doing play-by-play commentary for my Out of the Park baseball simulation league…
I also play simulation baseball (over 30 years now), but using Diamond Mind Baseball
Nice. Never used it, but have heard of it.
If you, or anyone else here, wants to join, my online league is looking for owners. We’re wrapping up our 28th season right now, so it’s a good time to take over a team and handle the offseason GM stuff.
Also related? That’d be “Bye, Bye, Love” by The Cars. ZING! POW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msAcTMKMSKA
how to pause a gif
Sorry, that was supposed to be a Google search.
If you’re a wrestling fan, check out “Dark Side of the Ring”. They did a two-parter on Benoit and is both fascinating and heartbreatking.
Also, you may as well check out WWE. Because Vince mortgaged his company using his own shares to keep the company afloat. It may be going bye-bye in a few years.
I CALL THIS PAIR OF GIFS ‘KISSING COUSINS’ BECAUSE THEY’RE RELATED.”
Advantages of working from home: I can babysit a vat of chili and make sure it doesnt burn while it simmers for 5 hours.
What is the first commercial break at Halftime in every Super Bowl?
I’ll take “Animal Genitalia Audio Clues” for $400, Alex.
Spoilers to Season Finale of Star Trek: Picard
Star Trek: Picard: “Hey, wait? Picard is dying. Why aren’t you upset and emotional?”
Viewers: “Its obvious you’re gonna plug his brain into an android.”
Star Trek: Picard: “No, we’re not.”
Viewers: “You’ve been leaving obvious hints and there’s a Season 2. He’s gonna live.”
Star Trek: Picard: “Fine! We’re uploading his brain into a golem.”
Viewers:
Star Trek: Picard: “That’s it! Just for that and your attitude, you guys get to watch Data die again.”
Viewers: “No! Wait! We’ll be good!”
Star Trek: Picard: “Too late.”
Viewers: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!”
That’s not gonna end well. Well, unless you’re the shark.
Everyone was really glad to get a female superhero movie, but no one wants to talk about how DC turned a intellgent woman brainwashed into wearing a jesters costume into a crude woman who in some stories cheated/blackmailed to get her PhD, who wears scantly dressed clothes and is sometimes promiscuous.
At least they got her paired with Poison Ivy. That’s a OTP I whole heartily support.
who wears scantly dressed clothes and is sometimes promiscuous.
So what the fuck is wrong with that part?
Because it is objectifying the character in this MeToo era, which is why everyone was happy to get this Bird of Prey movie. To me, its less “woman’s pride” and more “look at Harley’s Quinns”
DC does have a history of ruining female characters. As evidence, I refer you to Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown and of course the contents of Green Lantern’s fridge.
PS: This Birds of Prey movie is to me is what DraganBall: Evolution is to DragonBall fans. My opinions about this and Margot Robbie’s incarnation of Harley Quinn may be influenced by this. You cannot insert logic and reasoning into fanboy butthurtness.
PPS: This doesn’t include Margot Robbie. She’s an innocent bystander in this mess.
A woman can dress how she wants and slut shaming is out.
As for the rest;
“You cannot insert logic and reasoning into fanboy butthurtness.”
Truth.
Weird, seems I’ve had an entire comment disappear after posting. I’ve occasionally had one held up in moderation for a few minutes, but never had one completely disappear here.
Maybe I’ll retype it later if I get bored. As usual, it was nothing earth-shattering.
Are you wearing camo while commenting?
How else could he hide in bushes with no one noticing?
Here goes another Kate Bush video and innuendo.
Fuck It, going full Bush!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOlkRP6zNlY
Huh, I was just going to post the Homer Disappears Backwards Into The Shrubbery gif.
Lorenzo Charles enters the game with just over 3 minutes left
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m92tuqthJw
OOK-OOK!
I live in Comal County, exurban, North of San Antonio, and fastest growing county in Texas (second fastest in the country). Just received an email from the county Public Information Office announcing the county’s first virus death. Guy in his 40s. Glad I went to HEB today; although the guy lived 20+ miles the other side of the county in New Braunfels, I’ll bet people over this way are still gonna flip out in another grocery buying carnage.
Same thing here, a guy died from COVID that was 40 years old that worked in a grocery store near me.
Getting closer to home
Stay safe yall
The Feds chipped in for Colorado and gave us a bunch of medical equipment….. enough for a day’s use.
Nurses are sewing their own masks up now at the hospital. Fun times.
Oh great – I’ve got relatives in New Braunfels. Now I have to call.
Here’s the story from the local paper, more informative than the county PIO’s release, anyway. Hope it’s no one you know…
http://herald-zeitung.com/community_alert/article_bbfebc9e-6fb1-11ea-b3c1-2b92cd2d34f0.html
If Olajuwan was just in it for the money he would have been an above-average rebound and defense guy like Ben Wallace or Tree Rollins. It’s so obvious he put in the work on his shot and footwork judging by this game.
TSN is showing NC State/Houston
Benny Anders (fuck, I loved him back then) did a Euro step and was called for a travel.
A player was put into the game because “he’s a really good in-bounds passer”, according to Billy Packer.
edit: Good start, Moosey*
*I get called scotchy, you can be Moosey
“The Passer and The Packer” is the title of my upcoming transexual buddy cop interactive interpretive dance installation.
Huh. Just one question. How long have you been a burden on society?
Ah yes, that is the tagline; so you’ve seen it?
Not the original production but I did walk by the pastel chalk drawing of an arrow pointing to your sodden, soon-to-be corpse.
Seven Samurai or Rashomon?
“Don’t they all look the same?”
—Some racist Trump MAGAt