Your “Running Out Of Topics” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • The Cowboys, since there’s nothing else to do, have started contract negotiations with Dak Prescott.  
    • The mavens at NFL Network seem to think the sticking point will be about duration rather than compensation.
      • It’s rumoured that Dak wants a four-year deal so he can hit the market again while still in his prime.
    • The contract rumours also point to Dallas offering $33 million per year with $105 million guaranteed.
  • Ravens president Dick Cass is the first team official league-wide to come out & admit OTAs may not happen.
    • Via the team’s website, he added, “I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping we can get some players in [the facility] in June, but I’m sort of doubtful of that.”
    • He’s predicting that training camp is the date most teams should reasonably target for getting players in the door.

Stealing from Crimebeat! – civil courts edition:

  • Tom Brady files trademark application for ‘TB x TB’  
    • The trademark is sought for commercial use, including on t-shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, sweaters, jerseys, sleepwear, athletic tops and bottoms, and headwear.
    • Brady filed the trademark application the same day it was announced he was joining the Bucs.
      • ESPN notes this was his second trademark application, as Brady had previously filed a trademark request for the phrase “Tom Terrific” in June of last year but was denied because the USPTO stated, “TOM TERRIFIC points uniquely and unmistakably to the identification of Tom Seaver and the fame of Tom Seaver as “Tom Terrific” is such that a connection between Mr. Seaver and the applied-for goods is presumed.”
        • So, another NY team not named the Jets was able to beat Brady.
  • Lamar Jackson sues Amazon over unlicensed apparel sold by third parties.
    • He has sued in federal court, because – like with Brady – it involves the US Patent & Trademark office.
    • According to ESPN, Jackson has asked for “the court to require Amazon to count sales it generated from merchandise that features Jackson’s name, image or likeness and ban the website from offering such items without authorization,” according to the lawsuit.
      • Jackson is also looking for additional damages that he feels “Amazon inflicted upon him and his company.”
  • 49ers agree to settle mobility disability case for $24 million.
    • It involves access to the stadium from the parking & transit areas.
      • Specifically, the lawsuit alleged that the defendants “violated state and federal disability access laws by failing to make Levi’s Stadium, the parking lots, pedestrian right of way, and shuttles that serve it, as well as the ticketing and other services Defendants provide to the public, readily accessible to individuals with mobility disabilities and their non-disabled companions.”
    • Florio makes sure to point out that each person who submitted a claim will receive up to $4000, but the lawyers will get $13.4 million.
    • The also had to publish a public notice on their website & social media:

https://twitter.com/49ers/status/1243245118179536896


In lieu of today’s “Good dog” segment, may I present to you Ms. Lynda Carter.

Yep, that’s the good stuff.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 8:30 PM | NBC / City
    • When a prank goes disastrously awry, things at the Nine-Nine take a distinctly Agatha Christie turn.
  • Classic NHL:
    • 8:00PM | Sportsnet
      • 1989 Stanley Cup Final – Flames/Canadiens Game #6
  • Classic MLB Baseball
    • 7:00 PM | ESPNCLS
      • Los Angeles at New York Yankees in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series. The Yanks won 8-4 to clinch the Series.
    • 10:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Blue Jays Classic – 1992 World Series Game #1
  • Top Chef – 10:00 PM | BRAVO
    • After an exciting Top Chef All Stars LA Season 17 premiere, the cheftestants look to honor the late, great Pulitzer-Prize winning food critic Jonathan Gold.
      • Reminder – both Padma & Gail will be there.

So, there’s plenty to discuss.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
283 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BC Dick

To hell with feet. More squirrel dirty.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOT SQUIRREL AAAAAAAACTION!!

Dunstan

Are those… are those GAY SQUIRRELS?

But I was assured that homosexual behavior was unnatural?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SQUIRREL STRAPON ACTION!!

oh wait…

BC Dick

I think they’re just tiny furries.

BC Dick

It is. Squirrels are an invention of the commie left wing media. They’re just rats with genetically engineered feather boas for tails. Even their squirrel chirping has a lisp, but in squirrel.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Game Time Decision

How does that thing turn

Brick Meathook

It takes four brave and stout men at the helm.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is possibly the greatest cat gif I have ever seen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see Hippo, some fetishes start when you are very young.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also deep seated fears.

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Slumber Party
Nudie Times
Drinky Drinky

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You got one of your kinks disparaged below.

ballsofsteelandfury

I know you’re on my side. That’s all that matters.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think social distancing is getting to you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BC Dick

Why was someone filming that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If I saw that I’d start filming…. for the record.

BC Dick

True. I was thinking they were just waiting in line filming life. Or they set it up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola
herodotus450

On the ticker at the bottom: “Must start fantasy QB: Terrelle Pryor”
Oh how things have changed
“Sean Lee injured, out for the week”
Oh how things haven’t changed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

The two most impressive throws I’ve ever seen (just launching it with all their might) is this one and Joe Namath at Alabama in 1965. (of course I can’t find it). Bear Bryant did say that Namath was the most gifted athlete he’d ever coached, ever.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

Found a funny:
40 pizzas in 30 days doesn’t sound so crazy anymore does it

Col. Duke LaCross

He did say “The Reckoning” was coming. Is Papa John responsible for all of this? Jesse Ventura needs on this shit now!

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

The Maestro

Aw man. I remember that guy Kommenting back on the mothership.

Brick Meathook

i thought that was one of the all-time great user names

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

The Maestro

Aw man, I can’t believe the beer got spilled!

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Hold my beer!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

LemonJello

Hope they were wearing their brown flight suits that day.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

As a blackshoe engineer in an airdale AIMD in Corpus Christi, and later as a flight deck crash crew scene leader for our pair of H-46 helos, I got to watch this too many times during my service. You probably saw it too. Fun fact, much later found out it was John McCain’s plane from which the missile detached itself and fired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6NnfRT_OZA

Brick Meathook

oh yeah i had to watch this several times

Viva La Tabula Raza

I became a bit of a firefighting maven on the supply ship I was on. As the only MR on board, I was attached to R division with all the HTs (they hadn’t split out DCs yet), and to be honest was pretty bored for most of the time; not a lot of MR work to be had. I kinda got into the whole damage control thing so I could avoid as much as possible having to go unclog shitters with the HTs; told the HTCS I didn’t know how to weld so I was able to avoid stringing welding leads all over the fucking ship; updated and re-wrote the ship’s DC PQS booklet; got 88 bucks a month haz pay to be the flight deck crash crew chief, and was the only dungaree-chambray-dixie-cup-wearer to be made a member of the previously khaki-only DCETT team. Firefighting training was always a blast, whether at the Fleet Trng Group at Yokosuka or underway in the IO or the North Arabian Sea or the Sea of Japan for Team Spirit with the ROK navy.

Brick Meathook

I went through the smokehouse at Great Lakes and at Charleston. I did the submarine flooding trainer (the “dixie cup”) twice at Charleston.

Unsurprised

How anyone can know about how he acted that day and not think he deserved to be a guest of the Hanoi Hilton is beyond me.

Brick Meathook

????

herodotus450

Maybe the whole “shut everything down and go in quarantine” thing is a subtle way of the government telling us we’re all fat and could stand to skip a few meals.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Kitteh!!1!11!!

scotchnaut

Let’s start this “I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE MY TEAM PULLED THIS PLAY OFF!” properly. As a Jizziants fan, I’ve no choice but to go here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxiHMIM4NWI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

I was in tears (FUCK YOU, was a kid), then this happened:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5rQmdKKQgI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Dick Enberg calling AFC playoff fixtures is sommet I still miss. Righteous dude.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOOOOOOOOOOW who has a weird fetish?!!?? SMGDH.

King Hippo

oh my??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

comment image

The Maestro

FACK YOU YOU FACKIN’ FACK

scotchnaut

That was a heartbreaker. Just like this one. The Giants were a beast that year and Flipper “Fucking” Anderson did this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwyHGP4k5Es

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo

comment image

herodotus450
The Maestro

Also, if anyone is ready for some POKAH, I am sitting, waiting and ready to take your fake monies.

scotchnaut

Maybe we could post absolutely insane plays that your team pulled off that spun your brain round. I submit Karlsson to Hoffman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZ_EuE0Ks4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450

Germans can’t figure out how big she is!

The Maestro

To this day, I’ve never come closer to cumming in my own pants due to sports than when I saw that play unfold.

Well, other than the Olympic women’s beach volleyball tourney, but that’s kind of a gimmie, really.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

The shift: Richards edition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs_3PeQQUxc

King Hippo

So…when the economy starts back up and there’s, like 20% permanent unemployment – can we at least opt for drones to liquidate us from the sky? Because I ain’t into #HoboLyf

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

That must be from Lampoon or some other Onion precursor. I have 5 cardboard boxes full of 70s & 80s Lampoons, underground comix, and Conan the Barbarian comics from number 1 onwards. I was gonna toss them, but now I think I will save them for fire fuel after the coming Poxaclypse.

Brick Meathook

“Our Dumb Century” from The Onion

King Hippo

a book that I indeed own

Brick Meathook

Last year I bought all 12 1971 issues of National Lampoon (in a binder) and I paid $100. If you’re going to toss those give them to me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I do have complete 1974 in the yellow binder. Trick would be shipping, shit is heavy.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think that book is on the toilet tank in my cousin’s bathroom up in Massachusetts. I know I have perused it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wouldn’t mind going out like old Edward G in Soylent Green. Hell, you could even turn my remains into a cracker, I wouldn’t be around to give a fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efIYD73BXF8

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Balls?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Funny, she (?) doesn’t look Thai…

herodotus450

But if I squint a little she looks like Keri Russel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

one on.

King Hippo

Not to kink shame, but FUCK IT let’s kink shame. I don’t get the whole “foot fetish” or “crush porn” genre. Feet are fucking gross.

BC Dick

Nah. Ladies have nice smooth little feet. Men’s feet are gross, women’s are nice. Like legs.
I also am partial to a nice lady armpit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Especially when they make fart noises.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait till you get old. Men’s feet go from gross to downright repulsive. Source: personal experience.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t pull an internet “I don’t like, so it SUUUUCKS!” bullshit just because you don’t get it.

King Hippo

I also don’t understand how every woman isn’t a lesbian, because MEN are so fucking gross.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve dated two women who absolutely wanted their feet treated as if you had a foot fetish. Don’t be such an closed minded dipshit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; those with Gummy fetishes should not those dildos.

comment image

herodotus450

From some wobsite:

Similar to other forms of sexual fetishism, no consensus has yet been established about the specific causes of foot fetishism. While many works on the topic exist, their conclusions are often regarded as highly speculative.

Foot fetishism may be caused by the feet and the genitals occupying adjacent areas of the somatosensory cortex, possibly entailing some neural crosstalk between the two.[19] Neuroscientist V. S. Ramachandran has noted amputees reporting orgasms in their feet.[20]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is some top-notch psychobabble right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

“My name is Blonde. Jane Blonde.”

/I’d prefer to be stirred, not shaken

herodotus450

My name’s Plya. Plya Bull.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450
herodotus450

Halfway through Im noticing that they show Babcock after pretty much every one of these plays; I wonder why/how he got such a big ego?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

That has gotta be shopped. Awesome though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

YA THINK?!?!?

It’s from one of the Megacrock movies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

Dolphins can be real jerks

BC Dick

Gotta be. Real 90,000 ton crocodiles live in fresh water.

Viva La Tabula Raza

On a dive trip down Baja back when I was about 15, we camped at this place called Bahia Gonzaga about halfway down the eastern coast of the peninsula. There was a neat little bay there (hence the name), and on our 2nd day there this school of whale sharks showed up. We were able to go out where they were hanging (munching plankton, I guess) and climb on their backs and go for a ride underwater, they didn’t seem to mind at all. At 25-30 feet and several tons, they could have definitely wrecked your day if they so desired. You just had to keep an eye on your depth gauge in case they decided to head for the bottom you could let go and not have to go too deep.

So we went out and rode the whale sharks a couple times a day for two days. On the third day, the weather was shitty so we stayed ashore. A school of orcas came into the bay that day and slaughtered them. The beach next day was covered in whale shark offal. We decided not to dive anymore and headed home before it got stinky.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

It probably is, but seeing how 2020 isn’t pulling any punches, it wouldn’t surprise me if this becomes real later this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

She wants it. Ya know why? You did the dishes for once. WAKE UP MALE SHEEPLE!

Redshirt

Happy Fauxpening Day, everyone!

Redshirt

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2020/03/26/social-media-reactions-opening-day-home-mlb-cincinnati-reds/2921449001/

The next time someone bitches about COVID-19 and being stuck at home, tell them if Cincinnati can delay Opening Day, they can stay at home into COVID-19 goes away.

Dunstan

I’ve resorted to doing play-by-play commentary for my Out of the Park baseball simulation league…

King Hippo

I also play simulation baseball (over 30 years now), but using Diamond Mind Baseball

Dunstan

Nice. Never used it, but have heard of it.

If you, or anyone else here, wants to join, my online league is looking for owners. We’re wrapping up our 28th season right now, so it’s a good time to take over a team and handle the offseason GM stuff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

Also related? That’d be “Bye, Bye, Love” by The Cars. ZING! POW!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msAcTMKMSKA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

how to pause a gif

Redshirt

Sorry, that was supposed to be a Google search.

Redshirt

If you’re a wrestling fan, check out “Dark Side of the Ring”. They did a two-parter on Benoit and is both fascinating and heartbreatking.

Also, you may as well check out WWE. Because Vince mortgaged his company using his own shares to keep the company afloat. It may be going bye-bye in a few years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

I CALL THIS PAIR OF GIFS ‘KISSING COUSINS’ BECAUSE THEY’RE RELATED.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

Advantages of working from home: I can babysit a vat of chili and make sure it doesnt burn while it simmers for 5 hours.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

What is the first commercial break at Halftime in every Super Bowl?

I’ll take “Animal Genitalia Audio Clues” for $400, Alex.

Redshirt

Spoilers to Season Finale of Star Trek: Picard

Spoiler

Star Trek: Picard: “Hey, wait? Picard is dying. Why aren’t you upset and emotional?”
Viewers: “Its obvious you’re gonna plug his brain into an android.”
Star Trek: Picard: “No, we’re not.”
Viewers: “You’ve been leaving obvious hints and there’s a Season 2. He’s gonna live.”
Star Trek: Picard: “Fine! We’re uploading his brain into a golem.”
Viewers:comment image
Star Trek: Picard: “That’s it! Just for that and your attitude, you guys get to watch Data die again.”
Viewers: “No! Wait! We’ll be good!”
Star Trek: Picard: “Too late.”
Viewers: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s not gonna end well. Well, unless you’re the shark.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Everyone was really glad to get a female superhero movie, but no one wants to talk about how DC turned a intellgent woman brainwashed into wearing a jesters costume into a crude woman who in some stories cheated/blackmailed to get her PhD, who wears scantly dressed clothes and is sometimes promiscuous.

At least they got her paired with Poison Ivy. That’s a OTP I whole heartily support.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

who wears scantly dressed clothes and is sometimes promiscuous.

So what the fuck is wrong with that part?

Redshirt

Because it is objectifying the character in this MeToo era, which is why everyone was happy to get this Bird of Prey movie. To me, its less “woman’s pride” and more “look at Harley’s Quinns”

DC does have a history of ruining female characters. As evidence, I refer you to Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown and of course the contents of Green Lantern’s fridge.

PS: This Birds of Prey movie is to me is what DraganBall: Evolution is to DragonBall fans. My opinions about this and Margot Robbie’s incarnation of Harley Quinn may be influenced by this. You cannot insert logic and reasoning into fanboy butthurtness.

PPS: This doesn’t include Margot Robbie. She’s an innocent bystander in this mess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A woman can dress how she wants and slut shaming is out.

As for the rest;

“You cannot insert logic and reasoning into fanboy butthurtness.”

Truth.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Weird, seems I’ve had an entire comment disappear after posting. I’ve occasionally had one held up in moderation for a few minutes, but never had one completely disappear here.
Maybe I’ll retype it later if I get bored. As usual, it was nothing earth-shattering.

scotchnaut

Are you wearing camo while commenting?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

How else could he hide in bushes with no one noticing?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here goes another Kate Bush video and innuendo.

scotchnaut
Viva La Tabula Raza

Huh, I was just going to post the Homer Disappears Backwards Into The Shrubbery gif.

scotchnaut

Lorenzo Charles enters the game with just over 3 minutes left

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m92tuqthJw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

OOK-OOK!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I live in Comal County, exurban, North of San Antonio, and fastest growing county in Texas (second fastest in the country). Just received an email from the county Public Information Office announcing the county’s first virus death. Guy in his 40s. Glad I went to HEB today; although the guy lived 20+ miles the other side of the county in New Braunfels, I’ll bet people over this way are still gonna flip out in another grocery buying carnage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Game Time Decision

Same thing here, a guy died from COVID that was 40 years old that worked in a grocery store near me.
Getting closer to home
Stay safe yall

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Feds chipped in for Colorado and gave us a bunch of medical equipment….. enough for a day’s use.

Nurses are sewing their own masks up now at the hospital. Fun times.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Here’s the story from the local paper, more informative than the county PIO’s release, anyway. Hope it’s no one you know…
http://herald-zeitung.com/community_alert/article_bbfebc9e-6fb1-11ea-b3c1-2b92cd2d34f0.html

scotchnaut

If Olajuwan was just in it for the money he would have been an above-average rebound and defense guy like Ben Wallace or Tree Rollins. It’s so obvious he put in the work on his shot and footwork judging by this game.

scotchnaut

TSN is showing NC State/Houston

Benny Anders (fuck, I loved him back then) did a Euro step and was called for a travel.

A player was put into the game because “he’s a really good in-bounds passer”, according to Billy Packer.

edit: Good start, Moosey*

*I get called scotchy, you can be Moosey

herodotus450

“The Passer and The Packer” is the title of my upcoming transexual buddy cop interactive interpretive dance installation.

scotchnaut

Huh. Just one question. How long have you been a burden on society?

herodotus450

Ah yes, that is the tagline; so you’ve seen it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

Not the original production but I did walk by the pastel chalk drawing of an arrow pointing to your sodden, soon-to-be corpse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Don’t they all look the same?”
—Some racist Trump MAGAt