So, how was everyone’s week?
I gather not everyone is taking things the same way. For me, the lockdown has had the perverse, yet not entirely unexpected effect of convincing more kids to try & complete courses than had we stayed open under normal circumstances. I’ve had kids that I haven’t seen since October get in touch with me to resume their studies. I guess since everything is closed or shut down, the lie they told their parents about leaving to go to school each morning doesn’t exactly float during the apocalypse.
Of course, them being teenagers, they don’t exactly understand the concept of emailing assignments at 1:00AM & not getting an immediate response upon their receipt. I have about a dozen emails in my inbox from students right now, and I’m going to pull the old union, “Sorry – not my shift” to avoid them until Monday.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
The big deal of the evening is the “One World: Together at Home” special, tonight at 8:00 PM on every US & Canadian broadcast channel except FOX,
who are broadcasting repeats of “9-1-1” & “Gordon Ramsay: To Hell and Back” in order to protect their viewers from the mean things that might be said about Dear Leader.
It’s supposed to be “a global broad entertainment special to celebrate the heroic efforts of community health workers and support the World Health Organization and the global fight to end COVID-19.” With “special appearances” including Alicia Keys, Amy Poehler, Awkwafina, Camila Cabello, Céline Dion*, Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lopez, LL COOL J, Lupita Nyong’o, Matthew McConaughey, Oprah Winfrey, Pharrell Williams, the Rolling Stones, Sam Smith, Shawn Mendes*, Taylor Swift, Usher, Victoria Beckham, and more. (* = Canadian content)
If you don’t watch, you shame not only your family but in fact will be responsible for everyone in the future who gets sick from anything!
Other things to watch:
- Classic Boxing – 7:00 PM | ESPN
- 7:00PM – 1971: ALI-FRAZIER I
- 9:00PM – 1974: ALI-FRAZIER II
- 10:00PM – 1975: ALI-FRAZIER III
- The “Thrilla in Manila”.
- Spy Wars with Damian Lewis – 8:00 PM | SMITH
- A marathon of episodes from this season.
- Bond marathon – Sundance Channel
- It dovetails nicely with balls’ feature on the Bond films of the 1960s.
- Dr. No – 6:00PM
- Goldfinger – 8:30PM
- From Russia With Love – 11:00PM
- It dovetails nicely with balls’ feature on the Bond films of the 1960s.
So pour a drink,
take off your pants,
and get to the commenting!
Alright, it’s been fun amigos. Apologize for my plethora of +0 posts.
(Just kidding, I’ll be around for much longer)
I’m going to post a plethora of posts this evening. This is now my blog. For the rest of today anyway.
I’ll yield when Sunday Gravy shows up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=m2s0nB2VPvs&feature=emb_logo
Same question as below.
How are you getting my selfies?
Wait, did the egg come first or me?
Yeah, I was first as always. And for a second time.
Is that some kind of Advent Calendar except for Easter instead of Xmas?
My wife & mother-in-law are discussing her brother’s alcoholism in the other room while I crack a fresh Pilsner & start watching “The Blues Brothers”.
If I can make it to the first “Illinois Nazis” without being interrupted, I’m home free.
When are they going to address yours?
Or has the ship already sailed?
I mean, not much else use for it.
Well, if you don’t like waxing…..
I think the difference is in the fact that I refuse to drive after having a few. Everyone knows I like to get toasty; they also know I’m not going to do anything stupid.
I’m going to assume you mean besides posting here.
Dude, I sent that with the expectation of privacy?
Not mad, I look pretty dope there.
Can’t zoom in well enough. What’s that one say over your nascent left man-boob?
Have to pay for that info.
In person.
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/901e84554e66ac6f435cb183d8f0d066/8716479c35730094-08/s1280x1920/6c8d0d28b50ea00185fbd79e182326108b39169f.gif
Here it is. This is the worst one.
This really needs a “poot” caption
Le Poot
You know, my fist is really uncomfortable when it’s not punching her in the face. I shouldn’t have to suffer that.
I have an extra ax if you need.
My ax, my choice
I need to ax you a question.
What the fuck happened to Kristen Stewart?
Opposite day.
Gotta come clean. I’m still reeling from scotchnaut dunking all over me earlier. No link to the post, but it’s easy enough to find.
Gonna take a few days to recover. I won’t be taking any questions at this delicate time.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I’ll be back better than ever after this.
Stay strong, amigo.
Alright, decent evening so far.
I’m going to ignore the couple of +0 posts I made and focus on the one +6 post I made. I’m not in banner worthy shape, but I’ve still got a live ball. Gonna keep my head down and focus on the funny and not get distracted by the misses.
I can do this and I know you’ll all be there to support me with the +1s. God bless.
Man. I had an unprecedented 11+ on one of my comments earlier. I didn’t think there were even that many people paying attention.
I’m pretty sure there’s at least 30 watching at any time.
1 out of 3 ain’t bad kid. Keep it up.
Crap, I’m really upping my +0 stats. Time to refocus and pick my spots.
Gotta -1 you here just so you stay hungry
Pwned
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/306445140c5a6c251ba4d611c6466cb5/03a976d940ea28b8-47/s1280x1920/c203cfe9535416e8d173118be6f11e282b4a2c71.jpg
That’s just one off the +12 that made the banner. I’m calling that an All Pro effort. Congrats!
This hits a little too close to home mate.
Amazing was the convergence of the popularities of the Silver Surfer and Jonathon Livingston Seagull back in the day.
Sorry, there’s probably only one or two other people on this site that are old enough to even know what the fuck I am on about.
My average is 0.
No need to flex on us champ.
pH.
I still don’t get this joke.
Fuck, another +0
Well, when you post 4,000 gifs and images per day, it’s tough for the rest of us to keep up with the upvotes.
Or downvotes.
Don’t fucking exaggerate, it’s not over 3,700.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky1RWCvxnGo
Which street corner are you begging for upvotes?
Um, the one we’re currently on?
Oh, thought you had to walk for that shit.
Whatever it takes.
Ha, I wish!
This would be a lot funnier if it wasn’t causing thousands of deaths.
LIBERATE!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjOlACHNhW8
I don’t think this is news to anyone here on DFO.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/04/trump-is-insane-and-its-time-for-leading-democrats-to-say-that-out-loud/
Can not stress enough how important it is for Biden to not talk about civility in times of crisis and instead use the exact phrase Dumb-Motherfucker-in-chief every time he speaks in front of his PS2-era green screen library
Biden says he can reach across the aisle and make common cause with rational Republicans once Trump is gone. Now, beyond this being fucking impossible on its face, isn’t it crystal fucking clear by now that they are are death cult trying to kill us all and anyone who thinks they can reason with Republicans is more insane than Trump could ever be?
https://vm.tiktok.com/W7Yygb/
https://ve.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_q8zosbV8cZ1vn5t0r.mp4
The best troll gif.
I’ll never get those 30 minutes back.
Two strikes!
One more for a turkey!
What was the one woman doing on the floor, anyway?
https://vm.tiktok.com/W71QSM/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw5TfUi5rtQ
I doont care what The Who say, Led Zep is still a better band.
Tough choice. Keith Moon breaks the tie for los Who.
I see Tina Turner got to you too!
?
I wonder if The Who ever played Cafe Wha?
I will +1 the shit out if any Newsradio gif
lil baby Joe Rogan right between a legend of comedy and a legend of back child support
I’d recommend that movie.
Absolutely.
Not the hero we want, the hero we need.
I heard Coleman Hawkins for the first time some weeks ago and it’s practically all I heard since. Uf. Really helps to ward off the edginess.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=r9N0xr09Jqs
Eh, I live by myself, it’s been something like 6 weeks since I had real conversation with an actual person or touched a non-plant living thing. So I guess it’s been okay. I’ve tentatively and optimistically rescheduled my Greenland trip for end of June, but borders probably won’t be reopened by then. I’ve cleaned out probably 90% of my storage and have both gotten rid of a bunch of stuff and rearranged for more convenience. Since I’m currently working out by myself and it doesn’t matter I can wear my short shorts and cut down on my laundry volume. Also turns out that I look pretty cute in short shorts and a flannel, but that could also be my humanity deprived brain at work. Either way, it’s super comfortable. Top tip, don’t read 2 year old travel magazines, it’s depressing.
Hold up, we’re actual people too!
pfft, so you claim
Act cool everyone. She only thinks she knows.
GIFbot here!
Oh, sourry.
Hahaha, totally intentional humour steering into the joke. lol!
See? Real person!
If I lived by myself, I’d have absolutely fallen into the WoW or FF14 wormhole and probably stayed there until I died of dehydration. I thrive without structure, but need sentient life to be responsible for to keep from being killed by video games.
I’ve played a lot lot of Civ, but that’s par and I do still have work. Can’t do the animal crossing thing since switches are sold out everywhere
“They are? Damn.” -A. Petersen
What is this…… “conversation”….. thing you speak of?
THIS DOKTOR ZYMM I CALL HER RUDY TABOOTIE BECAUSE SHE WILL BE GOING ON AN IMPORTANT (most likely cover-up) MISSION TO GREENLAND!
/I look forward to maybe one other person getting the reference
Chalkzone? WTF!
Probably going up there to finalize the deal of Trump buying Greenland from Denmark. Dude wasn’t bullshitting when he said it was gonna happen.
Sound up
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BadActualBoubou-mobile.mp4
Worth it
The bridal outfits we NEED
Hello, you’re speaking with my face!
I can’t believe scotchnaut passed out in a ditch is funnier than me.
I HAD THREE (3) BANNER TOURNAMENT ENTRIES DAMMIT. And 1 (one) was a regional champ.
It’s so sad to go to bed every night with the image of the “+0” next to one of my funny posts.
This guy gets it.
And by “it” I mean buns of steel.
Meh, still not as impressive as balls of steel. With or without the additional fury.
I still haven’t found a proper workout regime for my balls.
*not a virgin disclaimer here*
So someone else remembers the Sonny & Cher Variety Hour besides me!!!
Sonny; he couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
12. How will the priest begin the eulogy?
“We are gathered together on this slalom occasion….”
Didn’t realize my comment was going to trigger that avalanche! You must have been saving up! 😀
Death by snow:
Michael Kennedy,
Sonny Bono,
Chris Farley
How was the body found?
Sonny side up.
A tree turns out to be Sonny’s greatest hit.
It seems that the conservative Republican Congressman from California
is, after all, a tree hugger!
Funny thing is that a California Republican was probably more liberal than a Texas Democrat back in those days. I mean, he tried to save a cesspool for posterity (good for him, though; check out any number of documentaries about the Salton Sea. Pretty interesting. I remember going there back in the 70s, even then you could tell it was a place on it’s way out. And look now, there’s a new one I haven’t watched yet! https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Salton-Sea-Kerry-Morrison/dp/B07KPMB7VF See y’all later!).
Well, watched the first half of the new Salton Sea doc linked above. Some interesting info, but I also feel like I might be watching some paranoiac/Alex Jones-y type thing. Fortunately its less than 30 minutes, so I will probably slog on through the rest of it. There’s something that has always fascinated me about the Salton Sea for some reason. Even the stupid Val Kilmer movie.
All of these replies need to be captured in Eventual Balls Thoughts post next week.
Fun fact:
The cardboard center of a toiler paper roll is a more efficient wiping tool than toiler paper. Assuming you use all sides of it of course.
Also, it is far easier to throw at your enemies after you are finished wiping.
Watching a guy do a solo speedrun of what looks to be DDR? and I have never been as good at anything as he is at smashing buttons with his feet.
https://www.twitch.tv/gamesdonequick
Keith Urban just “performed” his rendition of “Higher Love” and I’ve never wanted the coronavirus to win more than ever.
I didn’t even hear and “MY EARS!!”
Petwr Gabriel’s higher love?
Didn’t know there was a one world performance tonight. We’re watching Die Hard: With a Vengeance in the living room fort.
From the air ducts*
FIFY
Just saw this debut on a Chapo charity stream. Music doesn’t do much for me, but the Tool/90’s PC horror game aesthetic video does.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGLqq-b-HYU
Every (ok most) The Shins songs are approximately 85% perfect.
Plus, they will change your life.
Try the goggles!
Not gonna help what was googled.
Ze do nothing!
Is it time for Jets football already?
How did you guess what I googled?
Ya think if Thomas Jefferson and the rest of em had running hot water they would have given so much of a shit about “liberty”?
I mean, how much less can you care about liberty than owning slaves?
What, you don’t own any property??
“Liberty of black people.”
I don’t know. She was pretty expensive.
Jefferson had many admirable qualities, but I love the way that the Hamilton musical portrayed him, swanning in after the Revolution had been fought and the Constitution drafted with a “what’d I miss?” And of course the cabinet debate lines about slavery….
It’s no accident that that quote so much beloved by faux-tough douchebags, about the tree of liberty needing to be watered with the blood of tyrants periodically, was coined by a guy who never actually fought. Easy for you to say, Tommy, you spent the war fucking your slaves.
Jefferson and his acolytes basically controlled the country for about 30 straight years. I believe the quote calls for revolution every 20…
Alexander Hamilton was a bloodthirsty maniac who demanded to lead a bayonet charge. Just because he served doesn’t change that he was a fucking scumbag.
Yeah, not saying that Hamilton was a saint either.
Was supposed to see the musical a few days ago.
Just got back from picking up my curb service pizza and bottle of cab from the wine bar. There was a big group of people hanging out and drinking at the far end of the parking lot. It was a group of regular bar habituees, and to a man (and woman) they were all known Trumpistas. No masks, no distancing. I stopped and talked for a minute to my friend Nancy the Republicunt, asked her if this was a meeting of the Bulverde chapter of the Branch Covidians, and she said “Yup, we’re going to get together despite everything.” I said “Good Luck” and drove on home.
Darwin, do yo’ thang!!!
Y’all Qaeda doin work.
You know the most interesting thing about this whole Covid shutdown?
SInce it started, my mother went from being a shut in to suddenly taking up every FUCKING HOBBY UNDER THE SUN!
NO MOM, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BURNING MAN!
Burning man is virtual this year. She can do that from home with the right medication.
FOR THE LAST TIME, MOM, NO!!!
THIS IS THE BURNING MAN JOKE WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!
Okay, I’m going to sleep for serious now. I’ve a dog by the name of Ruby. She’s the fucking best. Here’s to you, Ruby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJ1mPsOIQ4
Maybe there’s a song that reminds you of your dog. Spill.
There sure is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb8vqlmblgE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ6pLKlU-8Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4S7gMiImKc
As will this video……
Just hope she don’t take her love to town.
—Kenny Rogers
Kenny can probably stop worrying about that now.
So come Tuesday, the home office is supposed to open up again. We had a Covid outbreak.
One of the things I love is that if someone tries to contact me, I am required by my service contract to be able to remote into any computer, from any point in the world, unless I am in transit. Basically 16 hours a day, I am expect to work remotely. So what if we just make it 24 hours remote?
Oh fuck no! That would be a disaster. Cats would start fucking dogs and shit like that. I guess I shouldn’t complain. If I survived TB, what is the worst that can happen?
So the old CEO sent out an email at 1130pm on yesterday. I have read this fucking thing nine times and I still cannot figure out what he is saying.
It appears I can opt out of coming into the office, but I need a doctors note. My GP is currently on a respirator because he volunteered to assist the local hospital when medical staff started getting sick. This isn’t even a joke.
What am I supposed to do, contact his next of kin and ask them to forge a note for me?
Also, I think I am now in full alcoholic territory due to boredom and home booze delivery.
No wonder why you staggered your way back here.
Get back in your ditch
It is superb. Weed delivery up here too. I justify my on call ness with the fact that due to the situation I do not have site visits so not 8 hours+ a day of work in a row. Will I answer your question at 8 pm? Sure, my boss will know I did too so when I am stoned as fuck on my couch Tuesday watching docos, I feel better about it.
Convince the CEO to join in on the protests and let nature take its course
There has to be at least one doctor here who can do that
My neighbor is a doctor – a psychiatrist. Want me to ask him to write something up for you?
I have a Juris Doctorate degree and I say you look like shit and should stay out of the office,
Email your local public health authority and ask them (1) should I go to the office or stay home? and (2) if I disregard your answer to (1) and go to the office, what would happen?
Your CEO might decide that you working from home is better than your entire office being shut down by the public health authority.
moar liek Krakaglowa
Volcanic lightning is pretty much the most metal thing ever.
Winchester generally writes a good book, and this was one of his better ones.
I love Winchester. As a geologist, recommend this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Map_that_Changed_the_World
As well as his book about the Pacific, the Atlantic, and although now dated, I loved this one too:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outposts:_Journeys_to_the_Surviving_Relics_of_the_British_Empire
Rumors are that NFL is considering playing the 2020 season in empty stadiums with no fans. They have asked the Bengals for advice.
Tom Brady gonna win another Super Bowl MVP in a Boneyard Match.
The Jaguars have offered their stash of tarps.
Beautiful
That was funny enough for me to read aloud to my wife.
BANNER THIS MAN
Done
Daniel Snyder can offer expert technical advice on how to cover whole swaths of seating sections with advertisements over empty seats.
Binge watch update: Padre Weaselo has moved on from all the drug shows to watch G.L.O.W.
Surprised GLOW and GLEE never had a crossover. Oh one was canceled 10 years before the other premiered? Not my problem.
Welp, adding this to the spank-bank.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbwNANO5JZY
GLOW was good for two seasons. Third was not so good.
Well was it asparagus?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ7pOlUDrxE
So at today’s WH Coronashow, the orange blob apparently claimed that his early actions saved over a billion American lives. So each of us Ameros have now been saved 3 times. No word about the tens of thousands who have died, and we won’t know how many Canadians he saved until he goes off on his next Twitter rampage against Trudeau.
This dude is clinically insane.
Yeah, but HE STICKS IT TO THE LIBS!!!!!!!!11111!!
My guess is his father never gave him love or credit, except when he succeeds on something. Therefore, he has a pathological need to exaggerate or invent his successes or deflect his failures, as he defines he own self-worth as how people judge him success or failure wise. He also shows all the signs of Narcissistic Personal Disorder.
That or he has a really, comically small dick.
It can be both
“Small dick” is what my dad said back when Trump announced his candidacy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXp0v93ZRTs
Wanna contribute to this thread in a meaningful way but 7 hours of drinking has taken its toll. It’s sleepy nightmre time. Love y’all.
Lightweight. I’ve been drinking since 7am.
And still have another 8 hours to go.
Yeah, but you’re not nearly as funny as I am. [nestles down into his favorite ditch, falls asleep]
Yeah, but youre a lot more fun when you do!
/wait
Personal attack!
I’m going to have to drink that one off.
Currently migrating financial databases because I spent the last two days knocking out Final Fantasy 7 Remake. Despite the fact that I’m doing half as much work with a tenth of the stress, mostly with podcasts and j-rock in the background, my employer’s opinion of my value is through the roof. Wonder if they’ll notice if I don’t come in even when the restrictions are lifted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jtXEpMiEPw
HTFYDB!?!?
I need to be drunker.
Our daily motto.
Some sports for rerun?
Cum to Key West and Lez!
good tourism ad
Whiskey? Check
Beer? Check
Pizza? Check
Pants? Off
Crippling diarrhea? Coming soon
Pong! We had it. The thing I renember most is that you could always see a faint image of it behind whatever program you were watching on your tv.
Crippling Depression? In Check
Good on obtaining your goals.
Fun fact:
I just learned the name of Lupita Nyong’o from today’s LA Times crossword puzzle.
Sorry about the spoiler.
To avoid any judgment, I use the LA Times crossword as a warmup for the NY Times crossword puzzle.
46 across?
SPOILER!!!