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NFL Noise: Two days until the Draft
- The League office has helped Dak Prescott in a couple of ways today.
- They reviewed the restricted free-agent signings, and revised Dak’s franchise tag value upwards, from $26.824 million to $31.409 million.
- The second assist is that this should forced the Cowboys’ hand in salary negotiations, since they just lost $5.0 million against their overall cap.
- They reviewed the restricted free-agent signings, and revised Dak’s franchise tag value upwards, from $26.824 million to $31.409 million.
- Former XFL commissioner Oliver Luck is suing owner Vince McMahon for wrongful termination.
THAT’S SHANE MCMAHON’S MUSIC! - He claims he received the termination letter on April 9, one day before the rest of the staff were laid off, and three days before the official bankruptcy filing.
- He is suing McMahon directly because he was fired, not laid off.
- Luck’s suit against McMahon indicates Alpha – the XFL’s nominal parent company – petitioned the bankruptcy court to reject many executive contracts.
- The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages, attorney’s fees and interest and a declaratory judgment on fulfilling the terms of the contract.
- He reportedly signed a $20 million contract for three years in May 2018 when he was hired; no length or terms were actually disclosed.
- He claims he received the termination letter on April 9, one day before the rest of the staff were laid off, and three days before the official bankruptcy filing.
- Hot off the presses – GRONK! is back in the NFL.
- The Patriots traded his rights & a seventh-round pick to Tampa Bay in exchange for a 2020 fourth-rounder.
- This gives TAWMMY a reliable, likely herpes-infested target to focus on while Bruce Arians tries to upcoach the new draft picks.
- Expect Twitter waves of burnt jerseys any day now.
Agent Drew Rosenhaus tells me, "Rob has agreed to play for Tampa this season.
He will honor his current contract at this time.” Gronk has taken his physical. https://t.co/Epnwrv86Ha— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) April 21, 2020
- Speaking of Dreamboat, he violated the City of Tampa Bay’s COVID parks ban, and got caught.
- PARKGATE! marks the unofficial start of the Brady era in Florida.
PARKGATE! marks the official start of the Tom Brady era in Tampa. Much like SPYGATE!, this will note the Bucs' official entry into the NFL limelight, and thus increased scrutiny from the league office. Congrats! #OnceACheaterAlwaysACheater
— Official cicerone to King Charles III (@beerguyrob) April 21, 2020
Finally, listen on the horizon for the haunting cadence from femur drums, for the Chargers have introduced their new uniforms.
the best got better. pic.twitter.com/UTXPM8yYvI
— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) April 21, 2020
When reached for comment, noted Spanos detractor Low Commander intoned, “I’d rather throw myself off the Coronado bridge than look at those abominations for another second, and that Dean Spanos deserves to die in a fire after having his balls hooked up to a car battery until it loses charge.”
In separate, horrifyingly corporate synergy news, Bud Light is teaming up with fans/cheap drunks to send virtual boos to Roger Goodell on draft night. 
In an #UpForAnything promotion straight out of a Darren Rovell fever dream & reminiscent of the campaign that killed a once-beloved site and gave birth to this popular one, “Bud Light is doing its part to keep the tradition of booing NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell during the draft alive”.
- They want people to record themselves booing their screen, hashtagging #BooTheCommish and @-ing Bud Light.
- They pledge that for each #BootheCommish thru April 25, they’ll donate $1 to NFL Draft-a-Thon up to $500,000.
Today’s good dog video is actually of a good person saving a dog from getting hit by traffic somewhere in what appears to be Iran.
This guy risks his own safety to save a dog along side highway from certain disaster.
byu/memezzer innextfuckinglevel
Next fucking level indeed.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- 2017 NFL Draft – 8:00 PM | ESPN2, 3 HRS 30
- recoil in glee/horror as the Bears trade up from three to two for Mitchell Trubisky.
- And pass on such busts as Christian McCaffrey, Patrick Mahomes & DeShaun Watson.
- recoil in glee/horror as the Bears trade up from three to two for Mitchell Trubisky.
- American Experience – 8:00 PM | PBS – THE MAN WHO TRIED TO FEED THE WORLD
- The story of M.S. Swaminathan, the man who would not only solve India’s famine problem but would go on to lead a “Green Revolution” of worldwide agriculture programs estimated to have saved one billion lives.
- No notes on whether it will discuss the longer-term sociological and financial problems that some say is now the negative legacy of the project.
- The story of M.S. Swaminathan, the man who would not only solve India’s famine problem but would go on to lead a “Green Revolution” of worldwide agriculture programs estimated to have saved one billion lives.
- Let’s Go Crazy: The Grammy® Salute To Prince – 9:00 PM | CBS / City
- CBS, the Recording Academy® and AEG Ehrlich Ventures celebrate Prince in this new special. Sheila E is one of the many starts performing.
- I predict:
- A couple of “Huh, that’s not bad”‘s
- A montage of songs you wish were all full-length
- Many covers which will have you screaming for a Hague War Crime tribunal
I’m eerily poised for the Draft, if only for the inevitable screw-ups, and sight of Mark Davis asleep in the old man’s Barcalounger while all around try to wake him to find out their pick, but they’ve lost their poking stick.
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