Your “What Does A Male Cow Excrete?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The internets are alive with football’s ‘finest’ spreading it pretty thick today:
    • Mike Florio today suggests the Seahawks will trade Russell Wilson after the 2021 season.
      • Because the cap hit drops from $32 million to $13 million.
      • And because his salary demands will top $40 million per season, which is equivalent to converting 38 lacrosse players into offensive linemen.
    • Joe Buck admits FOX will likely use fake crowd noise during broadcasts to make the action seem more exciting.
      • I’m sure the Falcons still have the CD they were using two years ago.
        • If not, I’m sure Vince McMahon can loan them whatever they use to make Roman Reigns sound popular.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu6dQ6NGuKE

  • The Packers sent a letter to all their “shareholders”, informing them of the reserves they are using to supplement the team during the shutdown.
    • In it, they say they have a $385 million reserve fund to draw from until they can begin collecting revenue again.
      • One expense was sending Packers face masks to all registered season-ticket holders.
    • As for visiting Lambeau Field or the annual general meeting, Murphy states that, “under Badger Bounce Back, Wisconsin’s plan to safely reopen the state, we need to reach Phase Three of necessary criteria before we can have a gathering of more than 50 people.”
      • So expect white guys with guns trying to worship at the altar of Bart Starr sometime after Memorial Day.
  • Eric Dickerson hates the new jerseys.
    • Which is what you want to hear from the Rams’ vice president of business development.
      • He said the horns on the helmet look like “two bananas” and that the changes make the team look “soft.”
        • “The helmet and the logo, they both suck,” he said.

Finally, Deebo may have brought Bountygate (ugh) back to life.

  • He was on Barstool’s podcast (UGH!) & said that after he hit Browns wide receiver Mohamed Massaquoi in 2010, Tomlin gave him an envelope after the game:
    • “I ain’t gonna lie to you, when that happened, right?” Harrison said. “The G-est thing Mike Tomlin ever did, he handed me an envelope after that. . . . I ain’t gonna say what, but he handed me an envelope after that.”
  • Plus, he’s still sore about what he considered then, and considers now, a legal hit:
    • “Listen, on everything I love, on my Daddy’s grave, I hit that man with about 50% of what I had, and I just hit him because I wanted him to let loose of the ball,” Harrison said on the podcast. “If I had knew they was gonna fine me $75,000, I would have tried to kill him.”
  • If you hate yourself, you can read PFT’s comments, or go on Twitter & read every Masshole’s opinion on the topic.
    • But by bringing it up, it’s going to force the league to look into it, which is something they don’t want floating around while they are restarting the season.

Today’s good internet dog is this Celtic fan’s White German Shepherd, & they both clearly hate Rangers.

Oh sure, that’s fine & dandy like sour candy, but what’s his reaction to Celtic taking a piss every Europa season?


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Top Chef – 10:00PM | BRAVO / Food Network Canada
    • The chefs head to the mountains, a few hours outside of Los Angeles to go to Summer Camp where they are challenged to an outdoor grilling Quickfire for Padma and “Top Chef” Kentucky winner Kelsey Barnard Clark.
    • Before the sun rises, the chefs get to work on an upscale brunch buffet for 200 moms vacationing at the camp using a very limited stock pantry.

We might finally be running out of new shows to watch. Dear. God.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BC Dick

A great mostly Canadian band. Or somewhat Canadian. I don’t know that much about them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbm-9zpljg8

BC Dick

And a good cover, I think.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wanJQC5KAfo

Brick Meathook

She got the words wrong.

Brick Meathook

In the original Levon Helm sings “til Stoneman’s cavalry came, and tore up the tracks again” (in the original) which refers to the Union Army of the Potomac Cavalry General George Stoneman (who was actually a pretty shitty cavalry general).
In the cover, Joan Baez sings “til so much cavalry came, and tore up the tracks again.” She had only heard the original version, and had never read the written lyrics.

It’s at the very beginning of the song; and Helm’s vocal sounds very much like “so much cavalry came,” particularly in context, but if you listen he actually sings “Stoneman’s cavalry came.”

BC Dick kindly posted both songs above so you can listen and judge for yourself.

Baez’s cover was released as a single and was a big hit, doing much better than the original. Levon Helm hated her for it forever (and for the royalties she got for fucking up his song); the last time he ever sang it was for the movie The Last Waltz.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
BC Dick

Alzmzax you got some good weird music. I won’t remember it all but I like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRlWbzdmJQA

ALXMAC

No worries brother. The way my drunk posting works is “themes” similar to DFO Radio posts.

“Please don’t confront me with my failure
I’m aware of it”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SEiCFQNK9M

ALXMAC

“sign of the times”

BC Dick

I like that. This one, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q70IvSzbJnA

BC Dick

My drunk music posting is: a pile of unrelated shit I love and have listened to in the past day or two followed by deep sleep on the couch.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
BC Dick

Duck I feel like I’m at an English folk festival. I like that.

BC Dick

Maybe but the accent. Fuck it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRzq7UoPA9E

ALXMAC

I can dig it. Great song.

ballsofsteelandfury

AFL IS BACK BABY!! Games resume June 11!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I got my email too. No worries about tough road games at west coast, either.

ALXMAC
BC Dick

Goddam right. What a movie. Makes you stand taller for a day after watching it.

BC Dick

I’d be proud to get my ass kicked by at least three of those guys.

yeah right

I read a really cool longform piece about someone who was so overwhelmed by our current situation that she underwent hypnotherapy to help deal with it.

I won’t get into the piece but one of the symptoms she described was an inability to focus.

I thought, “My god, that’s exactly right.”

I’ve experienced the same thing since we’ve all well, you know.

The only thing I can compare that to relates to people who have smoked and then tried to quit.

It’s the same fucking thing!

It’s where it used to be easy to form a cohesive thought but now it’s impossible.

My thoughts don’t form a cohesive idea.

Turns out this is one of the first signs of anxiety.

That makes so much fucking sense.

BC Dick

Just let it all go. Fuck therapy. Fuck analyzing. Just go feral. It’s not a bad thing. This overwhelming feeling isn’t a plague it’s the cure. Give in and be free. Be a wild ape. That’s what we are.
Live at the front of the brain. Do what it tells you. You are not going mad, you are getting right.

Gratliff

Anxiety literally gives me ADHD, so that’s my normal response. Outside of anxiety early on relating to my concerns for the well-being of my gf while she works in the ER of a population center and all that entails, it’s been easy? I’d almost say I’m less anxious now than I was in February, but a huge piece of that is being incredibly lucky to not have taken any financial hit. A few years ago, this may have been a very different story. People respond to the while thing in such wildly different ways, though. I just simplify the world in my head. My only priorities are my family, and I accept that the rest is out of my control. Everything else is peripheral, even work. As much as I dive headfirst into the literature and politics of it all, that’s primarily to distract me from the boredom, which was the case even before it all started. Once I knew what was needed day-to-day, I just sort of went on autopilot.

BC Dick

I kind of get that. The autopilot for day to day stuff. I don’t have a family to care for so I don’t get that part.
But I think anxiety can get you any time. It’s always waiting. It must be fought at every corner, yeah?
Like if I feel weird about going and doing something I just force my mind into a different mode. A mode that is dominant and confident. And I ride that mode and just do it. And let what comes comes.

yeah right

Crowd sourcing again.

I just finished Sunderland till I die, loved it.

Midway through season 3 of Ozark.

I’ll take suggestions.

BC Dick

I thought Ozark was hokey. All gloomy imagery and no guts. I liked After Life. Derry Girls is funny as hell. Nate Bargatze has a good stand up. Fuck it watch Observe and Report.
But I’m a techno dummy. I don’t know what’s new anywhere. I watched trailer park boys twice just cause I don’t find anything else good except old movies on cable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A fun thing for the old SNL guys to do should be to reshoot the “Bad Idea Jeans” commercial but with coronavirus stuff.

BC Dick

They’re too busy revelling in the fact their SNL didn’t absolutely blow every week.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh man, Cheryl Blossom is going to WAR against that new principal!

BC Dick

Going golfing this weekend. A Two group though to be safe.
Maybe the cure is the cause. Imagine how much ODs and suicides will spike when hundreds of thousands have no jobs to go back to.
I hope not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

One day you’re the greatest in the world:
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Another day you’re all washed up:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

LEFT: “Where the fuck am I? What the hell is going on?”
RIGHT: “This is great. I love you guys.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck yeah, time for a new season of RIVERDALE.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Had no idea Gretchen had her own shipping company.

Unsurprised

Are ships supposed to bend that way?

litre_cola

I too am interested in the scientific answer we are about to get.

Gratliff

It’s the CS Alex Smith

Brick Meathook

“Hello, Lloyd’s of London? We have a problem. Yes, I’ll hold.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, I’ll hold.

– Garret Bolles

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYO

Col. Duke LaCross

I was at that Bears V. Donks game last year and he got called for holding three plays in a row at one point, and I honestly thought somebody was gonna run on the field and murder him.

BC Dick

Sometimes athleticism doesn’t equal talent. See Ifedi, Flag Factory.
Though Bolles is a better athlete. He should’ve never been started week 1 at LT though.

Sharkbait

“Follow up!”

– G. Lightfoot.

BC Dick

Don’t care about context.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH0K6ojmGZA

Unsurprised

I think I have a sinus infection. Good times for the next two weeks, but at least it won’t kill me.

SonOfSpam

Beer is good for that. (Beer is also good for anything)

Unsurprised

No beer and no TV make Homer something something.

BC Dick

Try rubbing it on your gums for a while, eh?

SonOfSpam

Wife and daughter are watching and enjoying “Cast Away”

I think they’re tired of being inside.

litre_cola

I have never seen that movie. I believe I would lose my mind on a desert island by myself.

SonOfSpam

Yes, I agree completely.

It’s a good movie (once anyway) – Hanks was pretty incredible in it.

Gratliff

The ice skate scene is the only part I remember

Gratliff

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SonOfSpam

Brutal. But I guess you’d have to? I’d just die, but then I’m a giant soft eclair.

BC Dick

Who needs a desert island?

litre_cola

Well I personally am slowly starting to lose it with very minimal human interaction after 8 weeks inside.

BC Dick

You have a family. If you lose it it’s your fault. I’m not losing it with my dog. I have visitors. But I was on the verge already so now I just drift in the ether of semi conscious reality

BC Dick

Sorry. I am losing it with my dog. Misspoke there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I find that I am more fearful and nervous when I go out, even just to the liquor store and grocery. Becoming very paranoid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Fuck it.”

[Hippo takes both]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Now Eli, just because it looks like candy doesn’t mean it is.” – Olivia Manning

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Big Man Japan is a film worthy of tracking down and streaming. Extreme Kaiju.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRny1wok0Ao

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s quite a delicious booty

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lots of them….. hit play.

BC Dick

A good sport. I like the sprinters with their muscly thighs. And the swimmers and divers.

SonOfSpam

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BC Dick

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BC Dick

We should run this race over again. So I can kick his ass one more time.
Put him on a bill, folks. Him or Terry on the 5 or it’s a travesty.

BC Dick

But you know the sprinters I mean.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

LOL
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Is that Mel Brooks’ last movie?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As director?

No: it was this;

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112896/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_1

As an actor HE STILL BE WORKIN’!

Sharkbait

For some reason I thought that came before Men in Tights.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

2nd to last and a good one IMO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Balls still has plans for the weekend.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah I do!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sharkbait

I guess that was not Ice Cube’s good day

ballsofsteelandfury

Mountains a few hours away from Los Angeles?

They shot this in Mammoth?

Gumbygirl

Running Springs! About 15 miles from me in Big Bear. It really is beautiful up here, I am lucky.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, you are. I’ve been up to Big Bear many times. It’s kinda crazy they say it’s “a few hours away” though. From my house to Big Bear it’s two hours tops with traffic and I’m in Pasadena.

Gumbygirl

Foothills Freeway is pretty much a straight shot though. It would be a lot longer from say, Santa Monica.

Gratliff

So, Michigan now has 17 confirmed cases of the *google* pediatric multi-system inflammatory syndrome that seems to be coming as an after-effect of COVID in some kids. The kids who have it are testing negative for COVID but positive for the antibodies, so it’s apparently showing up weeks after the virus that takes weeks itself to manifest. I honestly don’t know how there’s a moral path to in-person schooling for children until there’s a vaccine for all this shit. Starts asking the question of what this shit’s going to do to the infected population in the long term.

BC Dick

I believe Harrison. I don’t believe Florio. Florio is just filling space. Harrison is a real football player. It’s a man’s game, quit crying over busted heads.

BC Dick

He should not have outed his coach though. Maybe he’s mad about not getting resigned. Every good coach would hand that envelope.

scotchnaut

“You’re fucking speaking to the goddamn choir over here!” [busts a Bud Light can against his forehead, pees into the oven, dies a much too early death]

-Mike Webster

BC Dick

Bright eyes, clear heart. He didn’t regret a thing, I bet.
Could’ve got a job at Sears.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

[takes exactly one puff of drugs]
WHAT IF ALL OF JAY-Z’s PROBLEMS WERE LUFTBALLONS

Gratliff

The @MiramarPD said an arrest warrant has been issued for Giants’ CB Deandre Baker and Seahawks’ CB Quinton Dunbar for four counts of Armed Robbery with a Firearm and four counts of Aggravated Assault with a Firearm. Incident occurred May 13.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) May 14, 2020

Gratliff

May have a future with Dallas, though

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

converting 38 lacrosse players into offensive linemen

Not sure about converting them to lineman but think they ( the pll) will create some fans at the end of July with games on the TV ( nbc in place of the Olympics) and being able to bet on the games, like, legally.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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