Eventual Balls Thoughts XVII

I worked four out of the five days last week at home. It’s wonderful. I can really get used to it.

I do have to wake up early, as usual. However, I do not have to:

  • Get out of bed
  • Put pants on
  • Drive on crowded freeways and streets to work

Actually, I am now able to do the following things that I was never able to do before:

  • Drink water often and pee whenever I want.
  • Grab any kind of snack, hot or cold, that I want whenever I want.
  • Conduct business in my underwear.

That last bullet is my favourite thing about this working at home thing. I am literally in a t-shirt and underwear all day and I call people, participate in Zoom meetings, and otherwise do every work task I need to do in my undies.

It’s magnificent.

***

The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

One of these days I’m going to click on “18 Holes with Natalie Gulbis” and not be disappointed.

herodotus450

***

The DFO comedic shaping of my 8 year old continues afoot, as he is now a fan of both Burnistoun and MXC Monday. Cheers, lads!

Fronkenshteen

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

Doesn’t seem like “miniature American flags” are gonna get us outta this one.

herodotus450

***

There’s a couple of dumpster fires in the neighborhood, so any Jets fans who miss their team should just turn on the local news.

Dunstan

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose
h/t Brick

***

The most poignant quote linking everything together came from NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar

That’s why he’s the co-pilot.

SonOfSpam

***

Is “Ten Man Lori” a Balls Search Term ™ ?

LemonJello

***

“Sign In or Whatever” really ties up the shameless plug.

Don T

***

Ok, so COVID, Ebola’s comin back, giant asteroid’s on the way, murder hornets, cane toads, just had an earthquake…I think God wants me to stop blowing goats. Sorry everyone.

SonOfSpam

That’s so saaaaaa-aaad.

—-Unblown goats everywhere.

Viva La Tabula Raza

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t LemonJello
h/t Beerguyrob

***

These are the Request Line posts where tWBS would totally fuck up and ignore the theme.

Balls

“Katy Perry doesn’t seem to have any songs about booze… she is hot though…”

Low Commander

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky

***

Lindsey Graham gonna get outed this weekend. Lady G deserves every bit of this. Hateful bitch.

Spur

Do I care that he’s (probably) gay? No

Do I care if he’s an asshole? Absolutely.

Sharkbait

But do you care about his asshole?

Also, tell me how a Senator is going to be outed in the future.

Brick

Am hearing alot of Bears Otter and Twinks got paid to care about his asshole.

Spur

***

Thanks for the Heaven 17 songs. GREAT GREAT stuff. Oh, and the cam whores.

SonOfSpam

***

h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

That is not the Catholic school I went to.

Horatio

Would you have enjoyed it more if it was?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dear god yes.

Not that I would have been any more competent with the (Jerry Lewis voice) LADIES, but at least the scenery would have been better.

Horatio

***

h/t Moose

***

See I can’t be racist because the first time I ever had feelings for someone was Toni Braxton in the “Unbreak My Heart” video. Uncle Ed thought Tyson Beckford looked like ‘that Seal guy without the fucked up face’ though.

Buddy

***

h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Moose
h/t Brocky
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t rockindog

***

h/t Moose

tWBS has a boner right now.

Balls

This makes sense, given that he has probably been reunited with his first pet, which was a sheep.

scotchnaut

Childhood Buddy: “Where’s tWBS?”

Other Buddy: “I think he’s on the lamb.”

Childhood Buddy: “Again? He needs another hobby.”

scotchnaut

Well, this thread took a ewe turn…

scotchnaut

This needs to be shepherded in.

Moose

Might be a wolf in the mix.

Moose

I’ll be right Basque.

Moose

Yeah, I’ve got mutton.

Yeah Right

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t SonOfSpam
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Brick

***

Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:

h/t SonOfSpam

***

Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Time for me to get back to work…

h/t Moose

Have a great week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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scotchnaut

Can anyone give me their opinion of Tame Impala? I’m not talking zoo-wise, I’m talking music-wise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

They fucking rule.

scotchnaut

Bark Greathank’s mention of Basmati rice reminded me of an amazing dish that a girlfriend’s father made for special occasions. It involved tough cuts of meat, beef marrow, basmati rice, butter, potatoes and a long, slow cooking time. He called it “My Basmati Dish”. I’ve never been able to find the exact recipe online.

Brick Meathook
scotchnaut

This is the *chef’s kiss* of responses.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have also heard that “My Basmati Dish” is a very hot woman from Shimla who is a girlfriend for the moment.

Brick Meathook

Today I bought two pounds of Basmati rice and some Wonder “Ready-Mix” flour (good for sauces and gravies) because they’ve both been sold out down at the local Ralphs for quite a while now.

Also, apparently the United States is currently sold out of shotguns.

Dunstan

They warned me that if Barack Obama got a second term, Americans wouldn’t be able to buy shotguns any more. AND THEY WERE RIGHT!

SonOfSpam

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Sharkbait

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Senor Weaselo

Can someone kick me in the shins repeatedly until I finish uploading the pictures I need for the extremely delayed House of Pain? Please and thanks.

Sharkbait

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LemonJello

Best I can do on such short notice.
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SonOfSpam

This afternoon in the Icelandic League Cup, IG Hafnarfjordur is hosting Berserkir.

BERSERKIR!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gFoHkkCaRE

King Hippo

Yes, I have bet them with same thought in mind previous-like.

Gratliff

TikTok Apologizes After Inadvertently Giving Platform To Thousands Of Theater Kids https://t.co/XSbNrqBvPW pic.twitter.com/taJK8cAiqm

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 8, 2020

Unsurprised

One of these days I’m going to have to write a review of Captain Marvel and how I somehow never realized that Brie Larson ever seemed as cute as she does in that above gif.

Gratliff

Following along with social media discussions on race relations today
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King Hippo

One of the many reasons why I read/follow TPM, and nothing else in the meeee-jia (Brit speak). Except for MSNBC when following election returns. Steve Kornacki is one bad muthafucka.

Gratliff

This was more a reference to the QAnon psychopaths who spend all day replying to people with things like “There’s never been any evidence of a racist police officer in the history of this great country” between attempts to have ICE raid the nearest Taco Bell from the office of the John Deere dealership their brother-in-law lets them answer the phones at

Gratliff

Also, I’d been meaning to make a “The Q is talking to me!” gif, so that gave me an excuse

King Hippo

It’s quality fo sho. Hard to wrap one’s mind around the Q phenomenon. I stand by the “rule of 10′ where you can get like 10% of the population to believe pretty much anything.

Brick Meathook

I have absolutely no idea what you people are talking about.

Gratliff

It’s better that way

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cheeto reposts.

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scotchnaut

I don’t care how old you are. That’s a problem.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True.

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King Hippo

1) Buddy channeling uncle Ed is always such gold.

2) I refuse to learn about the murder hornets. My nightmares are shit enough as is.

3) yes, I wholly WASP-judge and shame anal candling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Casual Fridays are getting a little out of control at Import Tuxedo Emporium.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Her desk chair is always missing on Monday.

montythisseemsstrangetome

You can’t go in to work unclothed like that. Come on, put a mask on, we’re in a pandemic here!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Perfection!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Was posted by somebody else leading into a discussion about Sedaris being the newer version of Russ Meyer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The nipples are not prominent enough; the director should have had an assistant apply ice.

rockingdog

New John Oliver-Last Week Tonight is good.

JustStopDude

Just remember…if your boss ever figures out how effective you are from working from home, its an easy jump to the realization that some peon working from home in Mumbai could do the same, for a shit-ton less money.

God bless capitalism…

montythisseemsstrangetome

We’re long past government agencies feeling any shame or embarrassment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Indeed, Ronald Reagan directed most of them to do so.