I went by the office on Tuesday morning, to print some shit and sign my privilege license (practicing law, it’s well complex, eh?). On my way out, I saw this storefront, and it spoke to me on multiple levels.
No, I am not trying to riot shame, since everyone is 100% right to be angry, especially if black – and, of course…it doesn’t involve using the butt for non-poop purposes.
I did go back and think of the documentary I saw many years ago, about the famous Watts riots. Reminded me that, beyond Feeding the Nixon Monster, one very unfortunate side effect was all the black business owners who saw their life’s work vanish in an instant. Damned white devils are NEVAR the ones who end up getting hurt. We always come out just fine, and it’s shameful.
I felt multiple levels of shame looking at this plywood messaging. I don’t know how to fix this Broken As Fuck society, or where to even start. Guess I can take SOME solace in the fact that Herr Fuhrer doesn’t have 10% of the strategic thought capacity as Tricky Dick. As a result, Diamond Joe looks even MOAR set to ride his chopper back onto the White House lawn.
As is apparently the prevalent reaction to Biden in the black community – he is Barack’s guy, and that’s enough. Despite all of his political flaws (which seem minor now), it was an honour to have the Obamas as the face of America. Let’s be worthy of the example they set, and the IMMENSE sacrifices that entire family made to create history.
Be a good person. Listen. Accept, if you are indeed Honky Like Me, that white privilege is – at a MINIMUM – an extra layer of original sin. I don’t care how not-raycess you might be…you’ve benefitted from your status. And you need to make a conscious effort to do SOMETHING to atone for it.
Also, the Krauts continue to provide us with Lesser Footy. The Santanders too, as of yesterday. Glorious Premiership next week.
Don’t let all of the lessons of this bloody June fade into happy sportsball-laden routine. It matters, and the impression on us all needs to last.
Watch this whole episode, if you haven’t already (and why haven’t you, Donald Glover is a genius when not rapping). Cringe to your core:
Of course, never forget #HailGAMBLOR.
/watching The Poseidon Adventure
It might be the first and only time Gene Hackman showed up for the paycheque alone.
Nevermind. There’s that dumbass Superman movie out there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtx5NTxebJk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DGzijoY-us
In lieu of the real Stanley Cup ceremony, which would have been around this time of the year, the least the NHL could do is announce the lifetime ban of Brad Marchand.
Or at the very least some Senator Bashing.
Ok, I’ll start: Lindsey Graham is a hypocritical closet case.
Mitch McConnell is a waddle neck demonic troll.
This is kind of fun.
I call him “Tofu” Ted Cruz because he amorphous and not made out of animal protein.
Important public service announcement:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXD0-dwIyRw&feature=youtu.be&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAXD0-dwIyRw%26feature%3Dyoutu.be&has_verified=1
Barcelona 2 Mallorca 0 at the half.
Are you pronouncing the “c” in Barcelona as “th”?
I pronounce it like a ‘k,’ just like Julius Kaiser would have.
Yeah, I took 3 years of Latin in high school too.
They don’t even offer it any more. Today’s kids don’t even know, man.
Ah, if I’d known your pedigree I would have used the even more correct spelling: “
Insane ManiacIulius Kaesar”My pedigree: 1/4 nerd, 3/4 drunk, 5/8 math guy
The story of Sextus Puer Molestus transcends all pedigrees.
“Boingus!”
– Ierrius Sanduskus
No, but I enjoy shortening it to Barça
Heh, the “c” has a poop hanging out.
I like to call it the Spanish Dingleberry!
Illinois?
Really is a pity that wine goes bad within 4 hours of opening a bottle, so you gotta drink it all.
If it’s any consolation, heroes are rarely recognized within their own lifetimes.
Barcelona 1 Mallorca 0 in the first minute.
The faster the car the faster the drying.
Oh, I thought it was an air freshener.
Only in Japan.
Or my car.
*Neighbor can’t find her …….
I guess I have to like JJ Watt now. 2020 is full of surprises.
BARCELONA IS BACK!!!
KISS MAH HAIRY PALE ARSE, Osijek.
I didn’t know octapussies were fresh water.
Litre reverse image searches to see where that is and packes his fishing rod
Look, I love cheese as much as the next Italian, but a BLT should never have it.
Didn’t like giving away a penalty in the 83rd minute, but at least he kicked the guy in the stomach and got his dinero worth.
Seriously, how are things in 2041? Do we still have bridges that can support horse-drawn carts?
/asking for great grandson
In the Pretend Year of Our Lord 2043…the Pretend Redshite have hired Roberto Fucking Martinez!
/Pretend Everton just fired Messi, no idea how that guy keeps getting work (he’s been fired by almost every team imaginable now)
Love the 80’s music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWJE0x7T4Q
My favourite aspect was the prevalence of multiple song titles (in parentheses):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opkzgLMH5MA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Ik_x-xkQs
This was the Golden Era of music, no doubt. I used to write down the Top 40 each week as a kid. Think this got to #3??
Weird. I did the same. It’s like finding another Milhouse.
Family weekend trips were THE WORST. I had to find another station/time broadcasting, and that was well difficult in the pre-internet era. On the very rare occasion when I couldn’t avoid gaps, I had my poor mother take me to the mall record store (which posted the countdown pages from actual Billboard magazine).
And I wrote everything down in my pad.
Then, one day…I just stopped. No idea why, no memory of making that decision.
All very “5 minutes to Wopner” for sure.
I also memorized heights/weights on baseball and football cards.
Utterly shocking that more of us aren’t virgins.
I really should go to Taco Bell…
2-nil Valladolid, bitches!! AH AM A GAWDDDDD!!!!
Twitter continues to remind us why not to ever go there.
Two of the top trends today:
#ExposeBillGates
#MichaelJacksonVindicated
I don’t want to to see either one’s dick.
So there is a dick out there you do want to see?
Rock Hard Eagle Boner (posted below) always makes my day.
Well, yours is too small (obligatory).
I’m hoping to lose enough weight to see my own again….
Well, I don’t want 2 see urs, neither!!! – Ghost of Michael J., knowing you are older than 12
Damn, for a second there I thought Bill Gates was awarded a baseball franchise in Montreal.
Les Windows 10!!
Tomorrow is Mango’s birthday, so I will make a rare exception to go on twitter and post a photograph of Obama along with all the #bestpresidentever and other tags the redhats will be using, just to fuck with the “trending” shit.
I am up to the “slut dragon” episode of Season 4. Peak Rick and Morty.
Peak Rick and Morty is a mountain I’d love to climb.
As a redneck German soccer fan I think you’d have no choice but to cheer for “Barn Moonitch”.
Ian Fleming
007 is more reckless than you might imagine. Yes, he checks into hotels using his own name, making him arguably the least secretive secret agent of all time, and yes, he’s slept with enough women to warrant his own sexual health clinic, but possibly putting him at more peril than a Walther PPK to the back of the head, a 2013 university study of Ian Fleming’s works found that the spy drank on average between 65 and 92 units a week, working out to around four times the recommended limit. This over-consumption was on par with that of his pen-father Fleming – a man also plagued by demons of war, loss and geopolitical secrets, who on occasion polished off a bottle of gin a day. Well, until Fleming’s doctor suggested bourbon was narrowly better for his health. You only live twice, after all.
Drink of choice – Gin Martini
Shaken, not – oh you know the rest…
Wait…are you saying that tWBS was actually a secret agent?
Just stating Ian Fleming’s drinking habits from an article….. which may or may not resemble those of certain commenters (resemble)
I am not going to say who, after all we are not judging fetishes here, just having a drink…..
[slowly removes 2/3’s full bottle of 15 year old The Glenlivet* from anus]
“Who said what now?”
*as we in the ‘partial insertions of single malt scotch’ community like to say, ‘it’s the perfect weight and the perfect shape to tickle the prostate’
2/3s full, 2/3s in….. I see…..
Jerry Richardson always insisted on 3/5’s. We caught on to him real quick. He was banned from the community long before the NFL figured it out.
Hopefully the NSA bot doesn’t leave out words from that…..
Welp, I’m watching German soccer and hoping to see a third boner. Everything is fine, really.
“This just in-fascism on the rise in the U.S.“
A third boner always sounds like a good idea, but it never ends well.
“You’re going to feel a slight pressure.”
Well it wasn’t a boner, but it still scored.
Tiny Rick!!!!!
“You got a license for that privilege?”
Yeah I picked it up from the office on Tuesday
“Very well, carry on then”
“I’ll give you my naked hypocrisy when you pry it from my cold, dead white hands.”
Ayo, check for boner #2.
OG, ninjas!!
Huh, maybe I’m on pornhub.de?
“Hmmmm, needs more fecal matter.”
-Ayo
Bayern goal scorer crosses himself and thanks God after he scores. He should be thanking the keeper for that massive fuckup.
That was such a major boner I had to double check I wasn’t streaming pornhub to my TV on accident.
Narrator: “History will prove that Adolph Hitler was the worst human monster ever.”
Trump: “Hold my hamberder.”
In five years, the wikipedia entry for “death cult” will include a photograph of the Tulsa rally.
Re-posting this from Slack. It’s well important.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tR6mKcBbT4&feature=youtu.be
If Napoleon doesn’t try and fail to invade Russia, do you think Hitler doesn’t try to outdo him? Discuss.
No, my understanding is that the Nazis really, really hated all Slavic peoples.
And communism.
Today’s Glorious GAMBLOR tribute:
Valladolid, Osijek, Alcorcon
Manana:
Orebro, Ostersunds
Weekend reading:
https://story.californiasunday.com/wuhan-after-lockdown
Let us see how VAR takescthis one away.
soccer talking guy: “I don’t like all this acting going on.”
Uh, I got some bad news for ya guy.
You’d think the world and America could all come together on sprots for their similar hatred and bafflement at video review refs.
What in the actual fuck was that?
At some point the players will have to have their arms removed from the shoulder down to be able to play. And they will still get hand ball calls.
The Rwandan national team says hold our beer!
/literally, they could use a hand
Nice goal.
What?
A German coach encroaching some else’s territory? Say it ain’t so.
He was just defending his personal lebensraum.
Disgusting:
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/prime/trump-convention-rally-tulsa-jacksonville
Drew is right, this IS a fucking nazi. He can’t claim THAT much ignorance.
At this point motherfucker should have two jobs: shut the fuck up and get the fuck out.
When I first heard about it I immediately thought, ‘this has Stephen Miller’s fingerprints all over it’.
Does whatever species of creature Stephen Miller is even have fingerprints?
I am sure his greatest regret is not being in 1930s Europe, so he could sell his fellow Jews to the Gestapo.
I wonder if they edit out the racist chants in the recorded crowd noise or leave them in for authenticity?
LOL
FRASIER: Niles, it’s the darnedest thing. You see these protesters—
MARTIN: you mean hooligans
FRASIER: protesters, Dad. They’ve taken over 6 city blocks. They’re calling it the “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone”
NILES: *shocked* the…CHAZ?
DAPHNE: *walking in* I dated a Chaz once.
Beautiful words Brother Hippo. We can’t stop now, we’re just getting started.
If you ever end up feeding all the folks here, I’d love to be your prep cook.
It would be an honor to have you dice the veggies.
You can start today.
yeah right: “Oh for God’s sake! Your brunoise technique is garbage! Start over again!”
Fronensteen: “Yes, chef! I’ll do better chef!” [beads of sweat form on forehead]
v
Artificial crowd noise in Düsseldorf is fucking LOUD.
YEAH! Wout Weghorst, motherfucker!
A brace for Weghorst!!
Found a funny:
bearded guys with heavy southern accents and progressive politics are our most powerful trojan horse
truth
a statue of columbus at the bottom of a lake is actually historically interesting because nobody learned about columbus from the statue but you can learn a hell of a lot from why it’s in a lake now
I plan to watch more television shows featuring black cast-members.
It’s the most that we can do.
I’m from New York. On my dads side are NYPD and FDNY. My mom’s side moved out to Arizona when I was young. Now, they’re Fox News hostages. I moved to buttcrack Virginia and disassociated myself from the lot of them. The latest viral videos from Long Island confirm I made the right choice. I’m a worthless piece of shit, but my house is not racist. We teach love and equality. That’s a hell of a lot better than the last two generations of my family. The kids in the streets have made me proud to be American, something I haven’t felt in awhile, and I’m a veteran. We donated money to the Minnesota Freedom Fund, but even that felt like a hollow, lifeless swipe at the underlying issues. I don’t know what the hell im even talking about. I just don’t know how to help the way I want to.
My only quarrel with your comment is that you’re a worthless piece of shit. I do that to myself all the time too, but it’s not true. For either of us.
Can’t get that love of self thing down, man. But thanks.
Why do all you “white” people hate yourselves?
I’m half Spanish and half Irish. I was never accepted by either group, but I learned not to care. That’s life. I didn’t whine about it either.
I sure as shit don’t care about anyone else’s self-esteem. Sorry.
That’s why I mostly lurk here.
My point is: don’t hate yourself, dickhead. It doesn’t make any sense.
It’s not about making sense, Brick. Mental health issues are by definition irrational.
Amen. And without my self-hatred, I feel like I would blow away in the wind like an empty husk.
Look, they’re both worthless pieces of shit, OK, but they’re our worthless pieces of shit.
Why is it that Humpty Dumpty repeatedly sent the message that pandemic response was up to state and local leaders but when people peacefully protest police brutality against blacks suddenly he wants to flex federal military muscle?
Because it was a different day?
/realizes that I answered a question with a question
When someone shows you who they are, believe them
. . . the strategic thought capacity as Tricky Dick.
Of all U.S. Presidents, at least of the Twentieth Century, Franklin Roosevelt is easily the most strategic thinker of them all, and for FDR that is both geo-politically and his own voter-owned ass as well.
But Dick Nixon was a hard-scrabble second, and he deserves to be second. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=m0t9yezcVlo
Given Nixon’s *insane* lack of charisma, it’s pretty amazing that he was chosen bear the standard for the GOP enough times to actually win. I’m sure there’s some NFL head coach equivalent of him (kept getting chances despite sucking until he finally won it all) but nobody immediately comes to mind.
We’d have to figure out which nfl coach was most likely to get drunk and try to order a nuclear strike
Somebody could always hire Wade Phillips again!