Your “&*$%#@& The People I Work With” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Sorry for the brevity – my staff meeting went longer than expected. Plus, somehow I am now union rep, which the length of the meeting did everything to try & dissuade me from the position.

NFL News:

  • Josh Gordon has formally applied for reinstatement. 
    • He is working out in Seattle, pending Roger’s decision.
      • But he isn’t a Seahawk – he was “active” in enough games that he qualified for free agency.
    • His lawyer is blaming Gordon’s last “lapse” on the death of his brother, and that he has a stable support network around him now.
    • Since the start of the 2012 season, Gordon has only played in 63 games (out of 96).
  • One place he could wind up? San Francisco, because Deebo Samuel has broken his foot.
    • Samuel is expected to be out between 12-16 weeks, costing him at least the start of the season.
  • Jamal Adams has demanded to be traded away from the Jets.
    • Drafted in 2017 & extended through 2021 by the Jets, he wants an extension that will increase his base salary & fulfill the “Jet for life” pledge he says the team made him.
      • His final two years will pay him $3.5 million this season, $9.9 million in 2021. The latter is the amount of his fifth-year option.
    • Rumours are he wants Eddie Jackson money, which is $14.6 million/year from the Bears.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Pedraza-LesPierre (super lightweights) – Jose Pedraza (26-3, 13 KOs) vs. Mikkel LesPierre (22-1, 10 KOs) in a super-lightweight main event in Las Vegas.
      • Also: Gabriel Flores Jr. vs. Josec Ruiz (lightweights).
  • Top Chef – 10:00PM | BRAVO / Food Network Canada 
    • Season finale!
    • In an epic Italian showdown, in Italy, the final three All Stars cook the meal of their lives in an effort to take home the ultimate title and prize.
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Western vs. GWS Giants – 5:30AM | TSN3
  • Korea Baseball Organization:
    • Doosan Bears at LG Twins – 5:25 AM | ESPN / TSN4

If I get more time, I’ll update this. Otherwise, have a lovely evening.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Gumbygirl

I will post no spoilers, but the person I thought from the beginning would win Top Chef, won Top Chef!

ALXMAC

Just being REALLY REAL here, but I don’t get the fascination with cooking shows and wrastling on DFO. We all bring our likes and dislikes but unless I can eat it I don’t care to see it. As for Wrestling I don’t think it’s a sport. They are athletes but if the outcome is predetermend It’s not a sport.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t understand cooking competition shows. If it tastes good to you, that’s all that matters. Fuck what “judges” think.

Probably the same reason I love surfing yet completely hate “professional surfing”.

ALXMAC

Kelly Slater? GOaT or no??

ballsofsteelandfury

I cannot stand Kelly Slater.

ALXMAC

No one can. He’s an asshole.

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s the worst thing to happen to surfing. In so many ways.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Gerry Lopez, OTOH, was the coolest surf-king ever.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s like asking if Tom Brady is the GOaT or not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Kelly Slater thinks so.

ALXMAC
Gumbygirl

Dude.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Unsurprised

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Mr. Ayo

I could not do that.

Gumbygirl

Put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it? Sure you can!

Mr. Ayo

I need a diagram on how that works. Sounds like a great way to pull something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I could do that!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I would think more people here approve of boobies and puppies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I have dealt with so much literal shit today, I should just move to Free Country, USA, and take up a new jorb.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I would offer you a referral, but cannot guarantee a jerb with lower excrement coefficient

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He could do may sales.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So apparently Osama Bin Laden endorsed Joe Biden? Here’s a photo of Diamond Joe accepting that endorsement:
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Doktor Zymm

I wish I could get dead people with an international profile to endorse me on LinkedIn

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Wernher von Braun: Zis lady ist going places! Zwei thumbs up!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fair & Balanced.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So I typed in the Faux News motto and it got bot moderated. That in itself is amusing.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Future Moose would know how to deal with those damn ‘bots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Probably not dirty enough to make the kids ask their parents uncomfortable questions, but still going with Rare Essence

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Interesting little fact about the Dr. Strangelove video clip above: This exact clip was posted to YouTube on December 14, 2005, the day before YouTube was officially launched (YouTube was in public beta for about six months before that). It does not yet have million views.

Also, Vera Lynn was the very first British artist to have a #1 hit in the U.S.

Gumbygirl

We sang that Vera Lynn song at my Grandma’s funeral. Always makes me teary.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

What is the hottest indoor temperature you would endure before opening your windows to the horrible sound of children playing?

WCS

80 or thereabouts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wouldn’t you have to go out said window?

Doktor Zymm

I open up when indoor>outdoor temp, and that tends to happen around 80. But these kids are loud and screechy, seriously unsure on the tradeoff

Gumbygirl

If you don’t open the windows, you can’t plink them with your bb gun.

Gumbygirl

That’s just science.

Doktor Zymm

Or…if I can hear them, they can hear me! What’s the most obscene loud music I could play?

Sharkbait
ballsofsteelandfury

This is when you really miss tWBS…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Barry Manilow?

Senor Weaselo

It’s kids, so play them the most muzak thing you can. Kenny. G.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Man, you don’t want to cause permanent damage; you might get sued.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I assume you all knew I was going to recommend this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmvzsdD3dzQ

Gumbygirl

Gary Glitter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Catholic priest sheds tear at this comment]

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, with me it’s nice because I’m the single old guy in the ‘hood and the neighbors hurry their kids inside when they see me looking out the window.

Gumbygirl

That’s because you’re not wearing pants.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Isn’t that a given?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also both neighbor moms are fairly hot, so I’m sure that helps.

Unsurprised

Drones

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Depends on the melting temperature of plastic.

SonOfSpam

Tried an image upload, failed.

Dick joke
Dick York
Dick Sargent
Endora

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have a bag or corn chips that must be a bad batch; they are paper thin and it is difficult to dip appropriately. Thoughts and prayers, people, thoughts and prayers.

SonOfSpam

Thanks Obama.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Fragile White cornchips

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Blue.

Doktor Zymm

Fragile cop cornchips, even worse

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shoulda got the yellow, red, blue mix for diversity.

Doktor Zymm

Or just use a spoon, but not gonna even try to extend the metaphor

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Crunch them up and dump them in the dip bowl like cereal. That would mean I would have to get up.

Doktor Zymm

In a sick and twisted way, I kind of hope Trump gets reelected. Bedlam was a popular tourist attraction for the exact same reason.

Doktor Zymm

(Without the senate, because I don’t want actual consequences)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All the shit the executive branch has control over? There are consequences, lot’s of consequences.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, he’s already lost the military, and he can’t issue an EO that’ll hold water to save his life. He’s uniquely incapable of fully exploiting the unwise power we’ve given the executive branch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No true; he has people doing that for him. Rolling back environmental, safety, etc., etc. regulations. Executive orders to sell off leases to formally protected lands.

Doktor Zymm

That’s mostly through appointments that have to be approved via the senate. His handlers wouldn’t be able to push nearly as much shit through if he didn’t have fucking Mitch sucking the skin tab he calls his cock

Doktor Zymm

Many of those have since been overturned by the courts, or at least put on hold by the courts. He really doesn’t know how to craft an EO that passes judicial scrutiny. He fundamentally misunderstands the power of the president, he doesn’t understand that his word is not automatically law.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, several have, a lot of the more recent ones have not. Several of the early ones were in-actionable because they were so poorly written. He is issuing orders as fast as possible to overturn anything Obama did. Agreed he does not understand, but many around him do and they are getting better at writing them. You are way underestimating the damage this asshole is doing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of course he is not the “brain” behind it, but his rich buddies have a free hand with this. Here is just a few examples:

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/02/15-ways-trump-administration-impacted-environment/

Doktor Zymm

Not really, just in my ‘make the best of it’ fantasy world. I need that sometimes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All that said I would not be surprised if he gets reelected; we are that stupid.

Doktor Zymm

He’s polling historically bad, including in swing states he needs. If he gets reelected we’re legit a third-world corrupt country. I get the pessimism, and it’s not impossible, but it’s seriously unlikely

Beastmode Ate My Baby

National polling is BS. It doesn’t matter what the popular vote is. As you point out, the swing states are where the action is. Biden should be able to win some, but I dunno…I’ve been hearing PA is Trump country, FL is going to go Trump, and I’m not sure a Dem wins Ohio. So then we get to Michigan (likely Biden) and Wisconsin (50/50).

TL;DR the electoral college sucks.

Doktor Zymm

FL isn’t even a swing nowadays. Biden has MI by freaking 10 pts, and other labor states are back to Dem. It’s still early, but if the election were held today it would be called Dem before 10 pm EST

Doktor Zymm

FL goes Red permanent, but doesn’t matter. Biden has a better midwest and midsouth grip than you think

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like that old man grip? You know, when grampa is mad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope so. And it would be nothing to celebrate, just a relief for me.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Right. Today. Which has nothing to do with 5 months from now. Honestly, Trump could be even further underwater as the Covid-19 virus runs rampant. Or the debates could sink Biden completely. Either one is a likely case right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I certainly hope you are right, but I’m not that confident in national polling at this stage.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Seriously, me neither. And again, national numbers are next to meaningless. One or two surprise states can send a whole election veering off course, and it’s not like we haven’t seen that happen a time or three in the last 20 years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, thanks for cheering me up, man.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ah, sorry to be a downer. I’ll try to stop being an asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not as though I was not thinking in a very similar manner.

Doktor Zymm

This is an important point though. People lost faithin polling after 2016, but polling was right. Clinton won nationally, she lost in specific places. But Biden has a huge lead right now on an electoral basis. If he blows it, goddamn we’re just fucked

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Eh, there’s already a Dem House that signs off on all of his BS. No reason to think the Senate would do that much to curb Trump.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the senate rubbers…… rubber stamps any appointments.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And there’s enough blue-dog Dems (*cough*Joe Manchin*cough*) to keep on rubber-stamping away while the main of the party look concerned and make “tch-tch” noises.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is sick and twisted.

SonOfSpam

I love chaos, but fuck no and also fuck no.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would like to see the military have to escort him and his cabinet out of the office though.

SonOfSpam

Yes YES YES YESYESYESYESzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Gumbygirl

I won’t be happy with anything less than a full on perp walk for him and his entire grifting family.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m okay with that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Never happen. In 2032, when Tom Cotton is president, the Dems will be talking about the “good ol’ days” of Trump like they’re currently doing with GWB.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, Cotton is pretty frightening. Assuming conservatism doesn’t up and die he’s going to be a huge pain in the ass for a long time.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Agreed. The GOP is going to flock to him like flies to shit. I’m less frightened of Trump (although he is frightening) than what the GOP becomes post-Trump, having learned from his example.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t Cotton to where this is going.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

As long as the legislative branch is out of reach, the rate at which he’s deteriorating? Imagine. It could set a new 25th amendment precedent!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pence or whoever else; fuck that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t give comments a -1 very often, but yeah, gonna have to do that here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Get out the vote.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

P.S. make sure and upvote the pug.

Don T

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SonOfSpam

This hermano gets his OWN Oxi.

litre_cola

I will get it for him, he means business.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHOA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Cutiepie!

Doktor Zymm

So, that Trump ad that FB took down cause it’s fucking Nazi? They submitted 88 variants of that ad. They know exactly what they’re doing.

SonOfSpam

Why? Just because H is the 8th letter so 88 is code for Heil Hitler?

Ridiculous. Aryan gangs have 88 tattoos because of their piano love and nothing more.

Doktor Zymm

It could also be because they are such fans of the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, and nothing at all to do with Hitler or heiling him

litre_cola

Hell yes. Sadly, they have to close down the ski jump that you can see from most parts of town due to lack of funding.

Brick Meathook

Fucking Obama

Sharkbait

Of fucking course they did. Assholes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Raul Julia was better, but not by much.

ballsofsteelandfury

BLASPHEMY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Indeed, fucker probably uses ketchup.

Don T

¡¿Qué?! Juliá por una milla.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

-Hey Rob. How does it feel to be a Union Rep?


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SonOfSpam

He just loaned the casino $500 million from the pension fund. Great, in other words.

litre_cola

6 disc stacker in the back?

SonOfSpam

With 4 Dave Matthews CDs already loaded.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL KILLED?!?!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Never heard of a male referred to as a carpet muncher.

SonOfSpam

Durr Fuhrer’s penis was small enough that maybe “male” don’t fit?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-US press, 1944.

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Doktor Zymm

Maybe we’ve done this already, but odds there’s actually an NFL season?

litre_cola

I want to think 80%.

Doktor Zymm

As long as no one involved gets infected I think you’re probably right, but the amount of isolation they would have to impose extreme externally to ensure that…I don’t know. I can easily see one dude ruining it for everyone

Sharkbait

3/2 it’s Gronk

SonOfSpam

If there is a god, yes.

SonOfSpam

At least. Odds of schedule going exactly as planned? Maybe 30%.

Doktor Zymm

Is everyone on the Buccs considered immunocompromised because MRSA?

SonOfSpam

Check with Lawrence Tynes (currently in a coma , yet again)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With regards to the Matt Gaetz thing. Let’s be charitable and assume that despite all outward appearances, he did something decent and was looking out for this kid – gave him a place to stay, got him a job as a page, etc.

Someone, somewhere, was collecting benefits (tax credit, etc.) on behalf of this kid. Whether it was Gaetz or someone else, it’s very likely that some kind of fraud was going on.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I don’t know, it all seems legit to me…”
—Lush Rimjob

Doktor Zymm

He’s also ignoring the fact that people from Cuba are not necessarily non-white. And Hispanic populations that identify as white have white outcomes

SonOfSpam

If there wasn’t fraud, it was because Gaetz was too deceased to do fraud, and that is not the case. Ergo, fraud.

And that young man has definitely seen Gaetz balls in some manner.

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I know I have done this before, but every time I hear this song, I am going to post it to honor Scotchnaut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du0EsLz0IyU

scotchnaut

“Aww, shucks Tabula.” [puts knife back in sheath]

Doktor Zymm

Eh, fuck work. I have actually useful skills, but I get paid to attend dumbass meetings and do pointless shit. People love made-up shit, I really should stop trying and fake everything

litre_cola

I had basically the same thought today as I finished a conference call that was basically use common sense. So I went and smoked a bowl.

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I am on a conference call, I always make sure I’m on mute when I spark that bowl.

Doktor Zymm

I should have more intoxicating chemicals in my bloodstream while I work, good call

Sharkbait

Lunch beers FTW

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been super good, but when I haven’t it’s been red wine in a coffee mug

litre_cola

I have the odd cider, because it’s apple juice!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whenever they ask us to dial in with video on the Webex or CVR or whatever, I beg off saying I really need a haircut or don’t want to comb my hair or haven’t trimmed the beard or need a shave or some other bullshit. It’s worked out so far!

litre_cola

I go with hair every time. I have yet to be on a video call. It’s just my initials and I continue to be a man of mystery.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No camera here either; fuck that.

herodotus450

Ok action item for this comment: someone summarize what Dok said and put it on the shared network drive, ok?

Doktor Zymm

Let’s circle back to that offline, we’ll figure out the best POC

litre_cola

What will the stakeholders think of this? There are a lot of challenges, but great coaching opportunities.

Kill me.

Doktor Zymm

Can I get on the invite for the kill me meeting?

SonOfSpam

Obama was the best POC, unless you don’t mean President Of Color.

herodotus450

Depending on what you think of Catholics…

SonOfSpam

As a non-practicing one? We are horrid.

Gumbygirl

Truth

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Jesus Wayne Gacy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So he likes….veal?

Dunstan

Thread title is timely. I have gotten great comfort over the past few months from telling myself “when this shit is over, I’m getting a new job.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m more like, “when this shit is over, I will very likely be deceased.”

Doktor Zymm

When this shit is over, I’ll be able to measure the time since I last touched a human in years rather than days

Dunstan

That was true for me before COVID.

Well, except for all of those I groped at the DFO Pub Crawl. Sorry about that. Maybe.

SonOfSpam

All good. Just wish I hadn’t already nutted with that hobo Scotchy killed the next week.

Gumbygirl

Until that day, may I respectfully suggest that you, and anyone else who is alone in this time of pestilence, touch yourself! Maybe on one of those boring conference calls? That would liven things up!

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I still have dirty texting with the dude I left in Chicago, he’s a forever sext

Gumbygirl

My husband is retired Navy, so we experienced looong separations. We tried phone sex on the few occasions he could call from some far-flung port. It never worked, we would end up laughing too much.

Doktor Zymm

You may have just hit on one of the advantages of the written word!

Doktor Zymm

I.e. no one knows how much I giggle when typing that shit 😛

rockingdog

last funny:
me: [googling] what do leg bleeding raccoon bite

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: [lifting raccoon real high] apologize or else

Sharkbait

Fuck yes half day friday tomorrow

litre_cola

Imma going to do it and watch Man U v Spurs.

Sharkbait

I’ll be watching from the beach. I can’t wait to see how a healthy Spurs disappoints me this late into the season!

litre_cola

My nightmare begins 5:30 my time Saturday.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Gregg Popovich for the win.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

I can’t be the only one here endlessly entertained by this.

Warning: Addictive content.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz77Ulwpf-s

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Did you hear MLB is going to have advertising on the player’s uniforms? NOOOOOOOI! Unless it says Chico’s Bail Bonds, I want no part of it.

rockingdog

found a funny:

each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos. i pour hot water over it, steeping it like tea, and then i drink it all day at work (i work at the white house) and at the end of the day, as i take the last sip of the tea, the soft ravioli slides into my mouth, and i eat it

herodotus450

I’m gonna go with, Who is James Carville?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s somehow somewhat nauseating.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another one at the White House does this same thing, but instead of hot water they piss in the thermos.

SonOfSpam

Both of those people are Stephen Miller.

litre_cola
rockingdog

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litre_cola

That’s a good pug!

Gumbygirl

I’m embarrassed to admit it took me way too long to realize there are two pugs there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will not post the picture of the six-legged dog.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I’m enjoying smelling and licking where you balls were.”

-Pug #2, CA.

herodotus450

Woah look at mr moneybags over here with his Little Caesars rug.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“She’s got Marty Feldman eyes…”
—Kim Carnes
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Viva La Tabula Raza

My cousin and her new husband (cool guy) were going to come down and visit me and my octogenarian parents at the end of July. I just called and waved her off. Fortunately, her SouthWest tickets are good for a year, so maybe they can come down next spring or summer, if we aren’t all living in Mad Max world by then. Which I suspect we may be.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We’re in Mad Max right now. By next year we should be tilting hard into Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior territory.

Gumbygirl

My sister just suggested a girl’s trip for us with my cousin. Nope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So an LSD video-conference?

Gumbygirl

My cousin is an old hippie who used to sing in coffeehouses in New Orleans in the 60’s. She’s really cool, and would be fun to take acid with! My sister, who I love but can only take in small doses, is a raging alcoholic. Not as much fun.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sounds like sis could use some LSD.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaWDTPhIq0I