Sexy Friday, Juneteenth Edition

Not too many people know what Juneteenth is. Considering what we’ve been going through in the last few weeks, that’s both a sad reflection on contemporary society and an opportunity to learn.

Beerguyrob does history much better than I can ever hope to, so I won’t attempt at giving you a summary/short version. I do, however, encourage everyone to Google or Bing “Juneteenth” and consider whether we should add it to the nation’s holidays.

I certainly think we should.

Today’s theme is completely unrelated to today’s date but there is a link. As I am asking you to exercise your minds and learn something new, I will be showing you Tik Tok girls exercising their bodies. But more on that later…

***

Sprots News

The sports calendar is filling up! Now, on top of NASCAR and Bundesliga, the AFL and La Liga have officially re-started!

I highly recommend both AFL and La Liga. My fellow soccer enthusiasts on this here site adore the Premier League, but I maintain that La Liga is much more fun to watch. Plus, Barcelona is in La Liga and I love that city/team.

Hippo should get you up to speed tomorrow morning on the soccer matchups of the day. In the meantime, if you can’t sleep, I suggest you turn on either the TSN networks in Canada or the Fox Sports networks in the US and see some AFL I know you will enjoy it.

***

Without further ado, here are this week’s dirty and athletic Tik Tok girls. Enjoy:

Now THAT is a squat!
I would love to balance on that booty…
Playing the butt bongos counts as exercise!
So does walking in the woods
Look how deep she goes on this one! That’s impressive.
Handstands on water are super tough.
Bulgarian Booty Builder!
If you can’t work out with your new baby, what are they good for?
Resistance band kickbacks are also great for booties!
Walking is good.
Walking on the beach is better!
This girl has great upper body strength!
After the 8th, I have a shot!
This is excellent advice.
Yes

***

And now, the next episode of our new feature!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.

Today’s band is another one of the original One-Hit Wonders. They were from a town called Mansfield in Nottingham, England. They released a single in 1982 featuring their one and only hit: “Nowhere Girl”.

The band, of course, was B-Movie.

There is a very interesting backstory to this song and band. Shortly after forming in 1980, the group released “Nowhere Girl” as a single in the UK:

B-Movie – Nowhere Girl

This song met with some success but, as you can hear clearly when you hit play, it had a raw sound. By the time 1982 rolled around, New Wave was The Thing and B-Movie re-issued “Nowhere Girl” as a single and altered the sound. That’s the song that was played in the radio on KROQ in LA. I don’t know about the rest of the country or Canada but this song was HUGE in LA:

B-Movie – Nowhere Girl

Inevitably, and to my great pleasure, extended mixes were also released at this time which became highly popular in the dance clubs and at middle school dances:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iClWT6zQT58
B-Movie – Nowhere Girl
B-Movie – Nowhere Girl

The success of “Nowhere Girl” seemed to doom the band, however. Internal squabbles led to various members leaving and being replaced. None of the songs they recorded as follow-ups got close to being called a moderate success.

Very quickly, the band fizzled out and broke up. It was the stereotypical bright meteor in the sky that shone extremely bright for a short period of time and then disappeared. If you were around in LA in 1982, though, you saw exactly how bright B-Movie really shone. It was a magical time and place.

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to maintain the social distancing so that cases/deaths don’t spike and the easing of regulations doesn’t stop. See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

This is for all you booty lovers:

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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yeah right

I don’t want to repeat myself again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Say what now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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RIGHT ON THE CLIT!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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yeah right

Request line open! A Mr Hippo from North of the South asks for a reason to keep going.

I gotcha brother.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ahU-x-4Gxw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The first free kick against Williams was bullshit.

That second one was bullshit on his part.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Don’t stop until the zoom get together is over.

Be witty and contrite.

Do your best Peter O’Toole!

You should almost live blog this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let’s see, I started with a home made sazerac. Then a beer. Then another beer. Then a scotch. Make that a double. Then another double.

That brings us to right meow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I really hope the meeting hasn’t started yet.

/gets popcorn ready

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat. The meeting is 830 am. Our time.

yeah right

Oh fuck!

yeah right

Man! I ain’t even going to be right for that meeting.

8:30 on Saturday morning?

I’m going to need clarity.

Who’s the ….

Who set up that meeting?

Have him call my secretary!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did. It’s a social call. A wet one.

yeah right

Sounds wet as fuck.

Cheers brother man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Started watching the replay of GWS-Western. This pedigree bullshit in the stands is annoying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I agreed to do zoom drinks with some friends in a bunch of time zones….at 830 am my time tomorrow. How drunk am I allowed to get tonight?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what’s great? Hearing the preamble to some group action in the apartment above you. /s

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What was said, specifically, that made you aware of what was about to happen?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The multiple sets of high heels, music, and past history

yeah right

I’ll bet they had a pretty righteous selection of hummus, pita and white wine though.

I would.

Describe the high heels…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’re….loud above me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

I looked up Charli’s age before posting this, because while it’s a pretty good version of a very fun song, (especially at strip clubs), I have some serious questions for whoever was in charge of camera placement.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipgEzN2S_nU

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Judging from a lot of her stuff she definitely feels that panties are a fashion statement. I am not here to say no.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

I just noticed that all the sauces have years on the labels:

Worcestershire – 1835
A.1. – 1862
Chili Sauce – 1869
Tabasco – 1868

The Lawry’s Seasoned Salt doesn’t, but it dates back to 1938 when it was only available to customers of the DFO hang-out Tam O’Shanter Restaurant in Glendale CA (not the Lawry’s in Beverly Hills).

yeah right

Uh, Brick?

That’s their expiration dates.

Brick Meathook

I only use the finest vintage ingredients in my classic dishes.

ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Didn’t make the velocity…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is too many for fuck, marry, kill.

Horatio Cornblower

‘What are 5 groups of people who have never been in my kitchen, Alex”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I’d fuck the Colonel too.

Brick Meathook

These are The Illuminati, the powers behind the powers behind the powers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

His beady eyes

ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Might be the best rock song of all time. I went up to Boston to see X on their 40th anniversary tour the night before I had to deliver a closing argument. I have no regrets, although my client might have a few. I’d do it again in a cocaine heartbeat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LjguC763-Y

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Saved by bacon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Best for you.

Horatio Cornblower

Ah, but I am a man of wealth and taste. Mick Jagger even said so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The taste just means you need a shower.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sushi tonight for the first time in 4 months or so. So good, so full, so fat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Had to go sashimi and …. yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Tom Petty made this song famous, but Lucinda Williams wrote it, and Lucinda Williams is fucking awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=372ddXdiCg4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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She took it wrong when he asked for shaken, not stirred.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
Brocky

YouTube is so fucking weird some times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx6bI7aL84A&feature=youtu.be

Gratliff

I had just about forgotten about Hell Comes To Frogtown. Thanks, Joe Bob

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Horatio Cornblower

Piper!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

The world is overrun by mutant frogmen. The human race is dying out due to infertile males and birth control. Sam Hell has the highest sperm count in the world and gets a pardon as long as he fucks as many girls as he can. If he strays from his government-mandated fuck journey, his chastity belt will shock him. This is the actual plot of the movie.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So it’s not about the frogtown neighborhood of LA?

Horatio Cornblower

No, it is.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d like to dedicate this song to Chris D’Elia, who I’m happy to say I always found far more annoying than funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZQWTnrJMS0

Gratliff

Been a big week for garbage humans

Horatio Cornblower

You can pretty much say that for 2020.

And probably all eternity, for that matter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
Doktor Zymm

I think one of my neighbors just got a new, very loud karaoke machine full of Indian pop hits. I initially thought it was a kids birthday entertainment with a loudspeaker, but we’re going on 4 hours now and it’s clearly not that.

ALXMAC
Horatio Cornblower

I had never heard ‘Nowhere Girl’ before tonight, and I really wish that streak had continued.

Horatio Cornblower

More like this, along with a demand that I last more than 32 seconds. I’M NOT SUPERMAN, WOMAN!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGD9i718kBU

Gratliff

I’m starting to suspect Joe Bob’s co-host has had some work done.
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Gratliff

he has so much cake makeup on in the new series he looks like claymation

Gratliff

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ALXMAC

He’s a movie evanaglist, that’s why he has a bible

Horatio Cornblower

He’s dead!?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Happens to all of us who are “lucky” enough to live that long….

Gratliff

Surprisingly difficult to find comparison photos that don’t include erect penii
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ALXMAC
Brocky

Evening

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Brick Meathook

Reading about Andrew Mellon (and the Mellon family fortune) on Wikipedia led me to a lot of places.

For one, I discovered that Andrew Mellon is the source of the “Rich Uncle Pennybags” character in the classic Parker Bros. Monopoly game (not J.P. Morgan as is sometimes incorrectly stated).

The Monopoly game entry led me to a copyright lawsuit filed against a company who made a similar game called Ghettopoli:

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Which has some awesome game pieces:

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But wait! There’s more! The same company also offers Redneckopoly:

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Which also has some great game pieces:

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. . . and instead of buying crack houses and projects, you buy trailers and double-wides.

If those two aren’t edgy enough for you, then there’s always this:

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And I don’t know why this even exists yet it does:

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What I’m saying is I need to buy both of those first two board games.

Brocky

I remember thinking special editions of monopoly were cool growing up, now I realize how they basically cut and paste every single one.

I lost it at sun maid monopoly

https://www.ebay.com/i/254578896979?chn=ps

Brick Meathook

I thought Beanopoly was bad; that raisin version is badx11

Doktor Zymm

I still like my Futurama Monopoly set

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder if they are made by one company…….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In 2022?

Brocky

Highlander? Honestly it was a let down

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