Request Line: This and That

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER is puttering around the studio, assembling a Rude Goldberg-looking construction out of various office materials.  He is humming the tune from the Jimmy Buffet song “Coconut Telegraph” to himself.  DJ 3000 sits silently, updating his operating system.

DJ 3000: [Configuring update – 35% complete]

The PRODUCER casually walks over to a section of drywall, looks it over carefully, then begins hitting it with the back end of a claw hammer, tearing large pieces of material out.

DJ 3000: [Configuring update – 68% complete]

The PRODUCER begins yanking sections of copper pipe out of the hole he has created and adds them to the contraption he is building using a large roll of packing tape.

DJ 3000: [boots up]

The PRODUCER pauses and glances over at him.

DJ 3000: AH!  WELL, I AM BACK.  I SURE AM FEELING REFRESHED.  HOW IS EVERY…UH…THING?

DJ 3000’s console lights blink with concern as he surveys the scene around the studio.  The PRODUCER continues humming while resuming construction.

DJ 3000: WHAT ARE YOU MAKING?

PRODUCER: A marble racing track.

DJ 3000: [notices that a significant amount of electrical conduit has been used at various junctures] WHAT…WHAT ARE YOU MAKING IT OUT OF?

PRODUCER: Oh, you know, this and that.

DJ 3000: I SEE.  ARE YOU ALMOST FINISHED?

PRODUCER: Indeed I am!  Perfect timing, too, because it’s time to introduce today’s guest for Request Line.

The PRODUCER tapes a couple more pieces into place, and then stands up and heads over to the console, where the guest is waiting.

PRODUCER: [punches a button to go live] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this week’s edition of Request Line!  I couldn’t be more thrilled to introduce our first guest…

DJ 3000: IS THAT…

PRODUCER: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, no, don’t be ridiculous.  This isn’t the Duke of Cravendale…it’s the Earl of Bovania.  He’s the special envoy from the Kingdom of Craven to the nation-state of Pacifica.

DJ 3000: PACIFICA?

PRODUCER: Yes, the nation-state of Pacifica, which was formed from the remains of California, Oregon, Washington State, and British Columbia, and also includes the island of Colorado.

DJ 3000: YOU MEAN VANCOUVER?

PRODUCER: Yes, Vancouver too.  My Lord, we’re so excited to have you here so we can discuss the Last Marble Standing games.

EARL OF BOVANIA:

PRODUCER: In particular, I’d love to talk about the block pushing event.  And perhaps hear your explanation as to us how it was that The Freshers were afforded not one, but TWO extra chances in the block pushing event after one of the marbles jumped the track.

EARL OF BOVANIA:

DJ 3000: UM…DON’T YOU THINK…

PRODUCER: [with increasing agitation] No, no, let him speak for himself.

EARL OF BOVANIA:

PRODUCER: Or maybe he didn’t hear my question.  That’s fine, I’ll repeat it.  [carefully articulated, with a great deal of menace] Why did The Freshers receive two extra chances in the block pushing event, forcing Milky Madness into the last place and preventing them from advancing in the standings?

EARL OF BOVANIA:

PRODUCER: YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME? HUH? I’VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ROYAL SACK OF SHIT, IT DIDN’T EVEN WORK!  YOU COULDN’T KEEP THOSE LOSERS OUT OF LAST PLACE NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU STACKED THE DECK.

EARL OF BOVANIA:

The PRODUCER withdraws a pen that has been holding the EARL OF BOVANIA in place and the marble begins rolling down the makeshift track. 

PRODUCER: YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT’S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TRACK, YOU SACK OF SHIT? HUH? YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS?

The EARL OF BOVANIA enters a section of copper tubing.

PRODUCER: TRY JUMPING THE TRACK NOW, YOU CHEATING PIECE OF FUCK!

Eventually the EARL OF BOVANIA emerges from the copper tubing, reaches the bottom of the track and bumps a mousetrap-style trigger that ultimately causes a file cabinet which has been balanced on one corner to descend and land heavily on the marble, cracking it in half.  Unsatisfied, the PRODUCER leaps up from his chair and begins pounding on the marble with the claw hammer, reducing it to small fragments of broken glass.

PRODUCER: YOU LIKE THAT, YOU FUCKING FUCK? HUH? YOU LIKE IT?

Breathing heavily, the PRODUCER takes the shards of the EARL OF BOVANIA and deposits them into the top of his homemade still.  The camera lingers and we see that the distillation column is practically full of the remains of hundreds of shattered marbles.  The PRODUCER then turns to DJ 3000, who is nervously eyeing the hammer. 

PRODUCER: [brightly] So.  What do you say that we get to the music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FJ8x6wnZy8

Today’s theme is: “This and That”.  We’re looking for songs which contain just two items in the title, in the format “XXX and YYY”.  Things like “The XXX and the YYY” are fine too.  There’s probably about a million songs that fit this format, so the only real restriction is that you pick songs that are GOOD.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRA7eNda7e_was_R!GG3D” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Dunstan

This feels like good value this late, and topical too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXAlfh6QKQs

SonOfSpam

That time Paul McCartney solved racism.

Also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0h2jZtuRuic

scotchnaut

Dud.*

*e

SonOfSpam

THAT voice shouldn’t be from THAT guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyeGzSA_Ua8

scotchnaut

“My Lousy Singing Voice Will Be Heard!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgnRBSaZ0XQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It works great with his songs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This is kind of a fail, but at least it gets the second half of the requirement correct.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl3B_FTDKD0

SonOfSpam

Nice tribute!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, at least it’s a good song. At least in my book.

scotchnaut

Maybe your book needs an edit?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1d4r9awjKE

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I thought you were going to post the Blind Faith album cover there. The one with pubescent topless curly redheaded girl that I can’t find a postable image to link to. If you don’t know what I am talking about, just Google blind faith album cover.

SonOfSpam

I was thinking Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy

Viva La Tabula Raza

That would work too.

scotchnaut

-Larry Nassar, drooling

Viva La Tabula Raza

This guy is a phenomenal bass player. The whole album was, indeed, just him and his bass guitar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U9uPv_Fxuc

Cuntler

Not a big country guy outside of old stuff and Willie and Waylon, but Chris Stapleton fucking gets it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2uPKDXS8BA

Viva La Tabula Raza

This ought to peg the obscurometer. Loved this when I was a young acid/mushroom head. Fucking Todd Rundgren.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWbdfrY210M

Viva La Tabula Raza

And found a live version, though it’s chopped up a bit with interviews.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUGKqPPj2c4

SonOfSpam
Cuntler

I love this song. It even talks shit about Cleveland!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoKvUYbGu7A

Cuntler

DOUBLE SHOT OF WILLIE

(THAT”S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uSFw165Qk0

Cuntler

Why are comments being moderated?

scotchnaut

“Because you touch yourself? Just spitballing here.”

-The Divinyls

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

and AND here’s the Seamus memorial!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwrYMWoqg5w

Viva La Tabula Raza

There may be some debate as to whether this is an actual GOOD song, but it was a hit, at least.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8teXR8VE4

SonOfSpam

Getting a 2nd life thanks to some insurance company.

Uncle Miltie in the video!

scotchnaut

Ex and I had season tickets to the Senators back in the day. She was a Canadiens fan and her favourite player looked like a rat. So when the players first came on the ice and skated in a circle in their own zone I would serenade her with this tune.

SonOfSpam
Viva La Tabula Raza

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTfHhNg1iII

Edit: Ooops missed the Prince version when I scrolled through.

Viva La Tabula Raza

the only real restriction is that you pick songs that are GOOD.
I can just go through ZZ’s discography and choose any “XXX & YYY” song, because ALL ZZ Top songs (at least from the 1970s) kick fucking ass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57F7DvHtKFI

SonOfSpam

We need more Dio up in here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdbEx7nuczo

Viva La Tabula Raza

Tribute to our north-of-the-border DFOers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIawk-9PApw

SonOfSpam

Seamus memorial post? Is the song too good?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM

SonOfSpam

Ok, I’ll keep at it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Came here to post this and make the same joke

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I thank you for it.

scotchnaut

I do love me some vintage Mark Knofler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxfjSnMN88U

SonOfSpam

Yup.

ThurberHerder
scotchnaut
SonOfSpam

Suckin on his chilly dong, outside his testes freeze

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h04CH9YZcpI

scotchnaut

“If he needs to pee, there’s a bathroom on the right.”

-Creedence Clearwater Revival

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Oh, so you want good songs…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2ckU9p1pSo

SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

This one goes out to my wife! Kidding!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vypSOetzlQo

scotchnaut

“Do you mind if I double dip?”-guy with two penises

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NWjehpGSO0

yeah right

Boy is this appropriate in the Year of Our Fucking Lord 2020.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMjyS4Wv9PM

yeah right
scotchnaut

I’m stupid embarrassed that I didn’t get to this first.

Gratliff

Let’s get weird. Darkness and Starlight aka Final Fantasy VI’s opera from the SNES rewritten for the original composer Nobuo Uematsu’s rock band, The Black Mages, and acted out live in concert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDCgu0w4riE&feature=share

SonOfSpam

comment image

Gratliff

There definitely isn’t an OC Remix adaptation of it from a tribute album that’s stylized like Bohemian Rhapsody that I’m not including only because the title doesn’t meet the requirements.
https://ocremix.org/remix/OCR02699

SonOfSpam

comment image

Brocky

Hell yeah black mages. I had the chance to see them in concert, but I decided to go to the nobou orchestra concert instead.

God I’m suck a fucking nerd

SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

I prefer Heart’s cover, tbh. [rises from the pulpit, raises hands in the air] LET THE DOWNVOTES RAIN UPON ME, DFO’ers!

SonOfSpam

Heart is awesome at covering Zep because Ann Wilson has SOME kinda lungs on her.

Sorry, no downvote for you.

SonOfSpam

xxx and xxx where xxx is the same

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljuJnUYozUg

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Something like “This and That” huh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zamAK-NIeEY

scotchnaut

In my defense, Keith tried to spell ‘the’ but it came out ‘little’. What can you do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg2ZtSHoKY0

scotchnaut

Sometimes you have the runs…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3jAJHRW_Yo

Don T

Los Who – Cobwebs and Strange
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UcpkUNqrjQU

Don T

DOBLE
The Punk and theGodfather
https://youtube.com/watch?v=B7FrIt352VE

Don T

PRINCE – Crimson and Clover
https://youtube.com/watch?v=a4RPkoURwL8

scotchnaut

“#ALLKEYSMATTER”- politicized dickbags that don’t like this group

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on5kklX2fR8

Gumbygirl
scotchnaut

“Songs…songs that are ‘good’? I got nothin’.”

-The Ghost of some guy

Don T

Since it’s a homage, rules are ignored
https://youtube.com/watch?v=T8I5CCpCMis

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