As is tradition, a version of this must be played to announce the official beginning of summer vacation. This year, I’ve chosen Switzerland’s finest 80s metal band.
Marc Storace gave Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon a real run for his money in the permed mullet department.
Which all begs the self-loathing question – how come I couldn’t get laid in the 80s?
Anyway, to go down the Krokus rabbit hole, I’d forgotten that they built a moderately successful career in the 80s, with a mix of solid beats & one cover song per album.
For every “Screaming In The Night”,
there was a “Ballroom Blitz.
And to back up “Eat The Rich”,
“American Woman”.
It was a tried & true method, best employed by Van Halen in their use of a Kinks songs on their first album, their version of “You’re No Good” from Van Halen II, and their cover of “Pretty Woman” on their fifth.
Krokus, like most 80s metal bands, fell off when the 90s hit, but a version of the band still performs today, with a covers album called “Big Rocks” having come out in 2017 and a “Final tour” COVID-delayed until 2021.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Hooker: From Las Vegas
- Prelims – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Main card – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Global Goal: Unite for Our Future Concert – 8:00PM | NBC / CTV
- A musical celebration of scientists, innovators, health workers, activists and organizations working to develop and distribute COVID-19 tests, treatments and vaccines.
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
- Berchelt-Valenzuela (junior lightweights) – 11:00 PM | ESPN / TSN
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
- Crusaders vs. Chiefs – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Australian Football League:
- Hawthorn vs. North Melbourne – 4:00 AM | FS1
Rock on!
Ok, time to pick a movie for tonight. First four up in the queue are:
(1) Cromwell (1970)
(2) Urban Cowboy
(3) The Natural (have seen before, find a little cheesy but it is sports)
(4) Knives Out (saw in the theatre back when people did such things)
I admit that’s a weird set of options.
Dunno 1, 2 is stupid, 3 is good, 4 is great
I’d pick 5.
5- Vacation with Step-Mom
In a certain kind of film, step-moms seem to be attractive and horny.
I’ve generally only seen 3-4 minutes of those films, so I don’t know how they end.
Be kind, rewind.
Ok, “forget movies and watch Sara Baeilles videos” it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZMQ0OKVO80
I started watching Knives Out just this very evening but stopped cause the Dr. Mrs. fell asleep.
/puts on expert hat
Adelaide isn’t very good
Hey, I have very fond memories of spending an Australia Day in an Adelaide pub, listening as the locals sang along to “Down Under” on the jukebox.
To be fair, Brisbane IS very good.
But yeah, you’re right.
Did Krokus play Hocus Pocus? Oh wait Hocus Pocus was by Focus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDW9b_ejfI
Greatest song ever.
Wet ball between his legs?
Wait, I had something for this.
Lance?
Ok, do I try my new whiskey, make a cocktail, have a beer, or stick with water?
Yes.
MURRAY PRESENT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpWS1dlm5i8&feature=emb_logo
Your sister gave me diamonds, and I give em to your wife
“Wasp Network” is great! It’s looks pretty authentic too. I won’t bitch about the accen—OK OK, one observation. All Cubans say “Ohga”, never “Olga”.
Balls, why are there so many people at the Gabba? I thought they were restricting crowds more than this
This is the first game of relaxed restrictions. They can fit up to 10,000!
So a contact tracing experiment, got it
THIS ADELAIDE-BRISBANE GAME I CALL IT THE EXTRAS IN CARRIE BECAUSE TWO GUYS ARE COVERED IN BLOOD
The bears will be there soon.
Funny because they used to be called the Brisbane Bears!
Oh my
Well, not my reason, but that is good staunch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNHigw3VvFg
HAAAAAAA! Found it!
Your orange placid penis?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEW8riKU_tE
To be fair; I am eating Cheetos, so orange is obvious.
Adelaide v Brisbane is going to be on FS2 in about ten minutes!
I watched a replay of the Essendon game this morning. It was…exciting.
That was quite a finish, huh?
NOT what she said.
Tit bone bird shirt.
Think I like this better than the Freddie Mercury version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9DW5PwPxH4
Actually a couple versions from that concert that I like more than the original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5703Rrk1wr4
Canada is very similar to Canada.
OUdd
I’m not reading all of that.
It’s about burritos…… you will…… you wiiiiiiiiiiiill.
I will eat them. Needs more menus though.
I’ll have a Pre-Modern burrito, extra trilobites.
I made a deal with myself that I can drink as much as I want tonight (we’re watching Knives Out in a bit) as long as I have one glass of water in between each unit of alcohol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uYWYWPc9HU
What’s the proper wine pairing for the James Beard garlic chicken that Yeah Right introduced us to?
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2019/07/21/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-chefs-series-james-beards-chicken-and-40-cloves/
Whatever you like.
I hope you meant revenge-flavored chardonnay, because that’s what we opened.
Well, I was hoping your neighbors were going to die tonight…… but if you let it breath for a few minutes we’ll have to deal with it. Maybe steak tomorrow?
I like my neighbors!
I’m really lucky in that regard. Everyone around me is pretty great, and two of them are so quiet they might as well be ghosts.
Well, it IS best to get out of your neighborhood to lower the odds of being suspects.
Well, the other Coke is pictured.
Another one of those bands that I remember being just hammered with by the radio growing up but seems almost non-existent on Michigan radio is Pink Floyd. The sole exception being “Another Brick in the Wall, Pt 2”. It’s so bad up here that the algorithm has even removed “The Happiest Days of Our Lives” when it actually makes air.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFjmvfRvjTc
Well for obvious reasons the Phillip Morris sponsored “Have a Cigar” isn’t allowed to be played anymore
I never hated Pink Floyd, but I admired the balls of those that didn’t mind saying they did.
Plus, I saw Sex Pistols in San Antonio at Randy’s Rodeo on their only US tour. Or was that Rush?
Shub-Niggurath only likes free form jazz.
That is either a fat squirrel or groundhogs can now climb trees.
YOU!! DO NOT INSULT SHUB-NIGGURATH, KING OF THE SQUIRRELS!
Well, he needs to either perform mitosis or eat less sacrifices.
[Dog barks in background]
Happy Saturday….. even if your basement is flooded.
Here’s Boeing’s groovy “Tiger Lounge” concept for the lower level of the early B-747s. This would have been in the belly of the aircraft, beneath the main passenger deck. It never made it past concept because the airlines said they preferred to use that area for highly profitable revenue cargo that didn’t whine or get drunk or take up ten cubic feet of wasted space per item. Live lobsters in shipping containers pack tight and don’t complain.
Companies would be so much more awesome if they didn’t prioritize profits.
I need my fucking lobsters
If those sea bugs are so important, you can just move.
smh if those Saudi hijackers had seen that belowdecks they would have been too distracted to do their job
Plus, they’re afraid of shellfish, just like the Joooooz.
I flew on a Pan Am 747 in June 1970 from JFK to Frankfurt on our way to Istanbul. I think that was within the first six months after it went into service. I was very excited. As a steerage passenger, I didn’t get to see any of that fancy shit posted above by Brick.
Scott’s Pogrom vs. The World is a very different movie.
Definitely seems like something 95% of Trump’s base would jerkoff to.
Depends on what color Scott is. Actually, wait, no it doesn’t. They like fear-porn too.
Nothing really on tonight.
Time to watch Casino.
“Robin, we’ll have to huddle together for warmth.”
“Batman, I’ve seen you pull ‘bat shark repellent’ out of your utility belt. You’re telling me you don’t have a heating device in there?”
“Nope. We must huddle together. For warmth. Yes.”
Tonight on Svengoolie: 7th Voyage of Sinbad.
So, drunk enough to click on one of Trump’s Utube surveys. First question was, do you approve of President Trump’s policies. Yes, no, or other. Clicked other, typed “Absolutely not fuck that fucking motherfucking criminal.” It would not let me submit without giving all my contact information. My answer stands.
Rian Johnson directed Terriers, the tv show? To the Archives!
…
Oh, well only one episode.
AND two of the most well regarded Breaking Bad episodes, I wonder what he’s been up to recently…
Are you saying you’d like to see…more?
Speaking of going to eleven…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib9Jz9iydeQ
Fun fact: When/If I ever get married, I’m putting “Stonehenge” on my list of requests for the band.
Mrs. Weaselo later that night: “Wait, I thought you said 1’…”
And then hen do “BigBottom” duet with the Sra.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J-hcGYQEJY
True. It’s all on the intonation and hands.
That Van Halen Pretty Woman video is just begging to be played at Volume 11
All Van Halen up to 1984 should be at 11 at least.
Gonna go listen to Unchained and beat off brb
While we were waiting for our A School classes to form up Summer 1981, I was trying to convince one of my boot camp buddies to go see the Kinks with me in San Diego. He was from Manhattan and had never heard of them, so I said, c’mon man, you’ve heard them, they did You Really Got Me. He’s like, bullshit, that was Van Halen. He did end up going to the show.
I wouldn’t find out until 18 months later that Oingo Boingo had released a cover of the same song on their first LP, Only A Lad, at just about the very same time I was seeing the Kinks in SD. It was a very different arrangement than either the Kinks or VH versions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEZbmALENt4
Yeah, we were good for like 3 whole weeks. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
Guess who Pretend Unlocked Achievement: Invincible!!??
30-0-8, 98 points (I just HAD to fucking draw Norwich in home finale, huh) beat Newcastle 3-2 in FA Cup (almost blew 3 goal lead in last 5 minutes) and Shempions (1-nil on 120th minute tally) finals.
ah is a true Pretend hero, ppls of Manchester!!
Drinks at The Manhole wooooo!
The Blue Oyster is also open. WIDE open.
“Despite his impeccable record, we must insist on the firing of Manager Hippo due to his constant state of opioid abuse/withdrawal, and insistence that his coaching staff is entirely petite, shouldered blonde women.”
-London Times Picayune, 2045
It’s a Treble!
I remember Krokus!!
I never knew they were Swiss.
Same. Was pretty sure I knew they were Eurotrash, but not specifically Swiss, like all the other famous Swiss bands like, uh
Meh. Swiss are just French with a bath. My ancestors were from Basel.
There hasn’t been a quid pro quo for moving the capital to Mar-A-Lago… yet.
The third concert I attended in my whole life was Sweet at the Santa Monica Civic Center in what must have been 1975 or early 1976. I had the 8-tracks of Desolation Boulevard and Give Us a Wink, which between the two had most of their best tunes. Opening act was Sam Hagar, touring on his first solo album after leaving Montrose. When Sweet played their song “AC/DC,” a 12-foot papier mache cock and balls was lowered from the rafters above the stage and started spurting confetti as if in a money shot. It was pretty fucking funny. So when I heard Krokus do Ballroom Blitz around 10 years later, I loved the trip down memory lane.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32SZbmHt9uA
That’s a great concert prop.
I’m really surprised it didn’t catch on.
I saw Krokus open for Rainbow and Pat Travers in Davenport Iowa in 1980. They fucking rocked.
I saw Pat Travers at the August 1979 Texxas Jam at the Cotton Bowl from about 20 feet or so just as I was getting off on way too many tabs of blotter acid, and it was a life changing experience. Billy Thorpe doing Children of the Sun was pretty remarkable too.
What? Come on, you can’t have a “Saturday Night Main Event” post without using the proper theme music.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIs5StN8J-0
“It is known.” – all the little Hulkamaniacs
Just so much cocaine.
Yes indeed, prime coke days.
For the Canucks: hey look Fashion Television is on
Jeanne Beker! That shit was mesmerizing if you were really high.
Found a funny:
I was at the zoo and I did a monkey call to impress my kids and a monkey talked back to me so I did the call again and it did a call, back and forth, just hootin and howling to each other until I made eye contact and it was just another dad also trying to impress his kids
In the opening to the “Ballroom Blitz” video they all sound like Tommy Wiseau.
You’re not the only one, Rob! Life started in the 90s. Rock on, Prof.
I love that in Screaming in the Night, there seem to be so many makeup artist and hairstylists in the post apocalypse society and they seem to be doing well.