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Vital Contest Information! READ THIS NOW!

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Have you ever wanted to own a gently-used Fleshlight? Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have a gently-used Fleshlight displayed prominently on your mantle above the kids’ Christmas stockings knowing that YOU WON IT?!?

Well, wonder no more! We have three exciting contests for you to join to test your mettle against the rest of the DFO and maybe, just maybe, win yourself a gently-used Fleshlight of your own.

First off, we have the traditional Survivor Pool, organized by our own Yeah Right. Word is that this year he plans on baking an entire Thanksgiving dinner and shipping it out to the last person standing.

The info is as follows:

Site: ESPN (Eliminator Challenge)

Group: DFO Crack Suicide Squad

Link: http://fantasy.espn.com/nfl-eliminator-challenge/2020/en/group?groupID=56874

Cost: $0.

Prize: 1 Gently-used Fleshlight OR a Thanksgiving Dinner shipped to you (please note I have not run this by Yeah Right and I may be totally full of shit) OR another prize TBD

***

You can also join in the fun and pick the NFL games each week against the spread. Whoever gets the most correct picks at the end of the season (mid-October, by my calculations) will be the winner. Here are the details:

Site: ESPN (Pigskin Pick-em)

Group: DFO Pick A Booger!

Link: http://fantasy.espn.com/nfl-pigskin-pickem/2020/en/group?ex_cid=pigskin2020_email&groupID=214238&inviteuser=ezAzQkQ0NzEyLUQ3RUEtNEMzQy05M0E4LTkyRDQ3QkVBQTNBNX0%3D&invitesource=email

Cost: $0

Prize: A gently-used Fleshlight OR a nice bottle of alcohol shipped to you by me. You choose the spirit and I choose the brand. Don’t worry, it will not be Popov or something like that. If you don’t drink, I can send you a Corona Hard Seltzer variety pack.

***

We ALSO have an English Premier League Pick’em league! If you enjoy watching the soccer action early on weekend mornings with your warm beer, your long sausages, and some mushed peas, this is the pool for you!

Site: ESPN (English Premier League Pick ’em)

Group: DFO Footy

Link: https://fantasy.espn.com/games/english-premier-league-pickem-2020/group?id=5015c670-ada1-4413-93aa-9b4a4abb1e20&joining=true

Cost: $0

Prize: A gently-used Fleshlight of your choice OR a six-pack of your favourite English beer shipped to you by me.

***

Make sure you sign up TODAY because the NFL starts on Thursday Night and the EPL starts on Saturday morning.

If you already own a gently-used Fleshlight, shame on you; that thing should be worn the fuck out. Also, join the competitions anyway so you can talk shit on the Open Threads about how big your penis is and how good your team is doing. Or the exact opposite.

So join now!

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WhyEaglesWhy

As the returning champion of the Eliminator Challenge, let me be the first to predict an embarrassing follow up campaign where I probably lose in Week 6 because I think the Jets are due.

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blaxabbath

Well, in your defense, they will be.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Canadian Road Crew.

*Was titled Alaskan, but I repurposed it.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I’ve got to say that I *LOVE* that a “join these random leagues” post has turned into a discussion about military vehicles. All the plus ones

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good point; we should redirect to Fleshlights.

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LemonJello

Is this from an ad for Rohypnol?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You as well as everybody else knows that Hot Pockets produce orgasms in women.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If they made Spam ones, it would be a whole new level.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Per below thanks to BK, you may want to book your next wedding or prom date in London;

http://tanklimo.com/tank_limo_hire.htm

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bk109

JUST BECAUSE IT HAS A TURRET AN APC DOESN’T BECOME A GODDAMN FUCKING TANK… Sorry, but I hate people mis-classing (if people can get triggered about mis-gendering, I can fucking blow a gasket when someone doesn’t properly classify a vehicle!) tanks, just ’cause there’s a big ol’ swingin’ piece o’ gun swinging on top.

Also, poor FV432, what have they done to you my son!?

Edit: forgot the /jk 😀

Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Understood, but I’m sure they say that for marketing. Although marketing and advertising are near always completely accurate on claims and statements, right?

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bk109

Oh, I was just having a laugh, plus to be honest – what can be classified as a tank can vary (especially at the lower end of the tonnage) 😀 The only time I was legit pissed off was when a paper in Sweden had an article about a guy down the road that had bought himself a tank, when it was an MT-LB (for context, that’s barely armoured as is and from the side and rear a well aimed fart can penetrate it XD)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

VW makes a tank:

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bk109

No, that is not a tank – ’tis is a technical

Now this is a big di… I mean tank
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and let us not forget the bestest EVAAAR WW-any tank, the Bob Semple tank
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Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Next thing you will try to tell us is that this is not a bulldozer.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The penis mount on the top one IS an interesting modification.

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bk109

Duhhhhhh, you think I’d post a tank with a strapon?! HOW DARE YOU?! XD

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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bk109

There’s a reason the Japanese never went into ‘straya and it wasn’t the failure of the Port Moresby campaign.. no, it was the simple fact that the Japanese Intelligence apparatus saw that interesting water-cooled MG mount and all decided that the Aussies are better left alone 😀

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Akira Lane rolls her eyes.]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you saying something about the added champagne cooler?

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bk109

Yes, a “tank” of any size shouldn’t have such frivolous stuff… a beer fridge, or even provision for a keg or two, tho……

Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Image of T-34 with external kegs.

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bk109

T-34-85 to be precise. It’s easily recognizable by the bigger turret (the better to handle the 85mm dingus end). Btw, these are shockingly affordable, especially if you get a post-war unit with 0 combat history 😉

Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of course, not the original, it was the best photo I could find quickly showing the keg mounting.Vodka storage units are at rear and the hatches.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Last edited 5 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

I tried.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can we get a message to Peter;

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bk109

OMAIGOD… there’s a Tornado for sale…
https://www.jetartaviation.co.uk/aircraft

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

the geeky Canadian in my wants an Avro Arrow. But they don’t exist.
Or a Spitfire.
Oh and I’d need flying lessons.

Last edited 5 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
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bk109

Well, there are rumours and legends that one of the prototypes got hidden somewhere and maybe, just maybe is still waiting for humanity to give it another shot…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure US corporate interests had no involvement in the decision to …… nothing to see here.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Looks like someone took out the tape deck.

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TheRevanchist

Good times and better prizes. If I win, though, just a donation of time to a local human/animal shelter is all the payment I need (probably won’t win, so don’t expect to do any work).

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SonOfSpam

Animal shelters can always use Fleshlights.

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TheRevanchist

Best chew toys ever.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, he meant for the dogs…….

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jjfozz

Why in hell would spend money on a fleshlight when you can find out how to do a prison style toy that costs about $1.25 to make?

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SonOfSpam

Why would you make a prison toy when there are perfectly good prisoners to use?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Brandon Perna captures the mood of Donks WOO!!! folk perfectly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuuRxOFfj8o&pp=wgIECgIIAQ%3D%3D&feature=push-sd&attr_tag=qjbSewWAtUq-hNkd%3A6

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bk109

Yea, plus having a newborn really manages to bring out the world weariness, pain and dejectedness of a fan of the Fighting Elways 😀

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King Hippo

yeah, you can just sense how Brandon REALLY was hoping for 3-3.5 non-shitty hours of existence (per week) this fall. Poor bastard!

Last edited 5 years ago by King Hippo
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This just fits in with the 2020 timeline. I guess the MRI confirmed it.

I’ll just deny it exists.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

I don’t own any gently used Fleshlights, so this’ll be nice.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We tend to over estimate our pounding ability, but the frequency is often underestimated. I guess I know which in this case…..

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

How does one ship an entire Thanksgiving dinner?

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LemonJello

“Trust me, there are ways…”
-A. Reid

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SonOfSpam

Use Mayflower.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Now I can’t make the ‘just take advantage of the indigenous peoples’ joke.

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nomonkeyfun

Sssshhhhhh. We don’t use that word when Fozz is around.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You Irsay what?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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bk109

https://tanks-alot.co.uk/product/centurion-avre/
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vs
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https://tanks-alot.co.uk/product/chieftain-recovery-vehicle/

Both seem interesting… and both are basically on the clock, ’cause come next year, importing those in the EU will be a bish 😀

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King Hippo

Do you get free Amazon shipping?

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bk109

Nope, but at least I can store it at my reserve unit’s motor pool until I can get it on a ship to Sweden (bonus points for thus single-handedly giving the ACAV lads serious inadequacy issues 😀 )

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LemonJello

You said you had a Chieftain…so it’s only logical to get the recovery vehicle based on the same chassis. Ya know, for simplicity of common spare parts and the like…

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bk109

Sure, but on the flip side this means that I’ll have multiple vehicles that “drive” the same way, plus each bugger came with a spare engine and other odds and ends, so maintenance isn’t a problem 😀

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll have to revisit that show; the one that comes to mind is when they found a Panther submerged in a swamp. The water was anoxic and somewhat preserved the metal. Still they wound up straining even their budget (I’m assuming you don’t have huge advertising revenues) because there were many parts that had to be machined from scratch and the shell hole sections had to be replaced. I guess they sell it to a museum or something.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The show I like, but it isn’t about rebuilding;

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp4j9Y9L6jie44iZroCb99A

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like to see the insisting asking. “No, you NEED to check if you can ship this!!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I responded to your lecture on the previous thread. How much does the shipping cost (door to door, so to speak)? You are in Sweden now? The only tank rebuild shows I have watched are British, so I’m uninformed about rebuilds in other countries. They didn’t talk much about costs. You should do posts about the progress as you go.

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bk109

Sorry, I missed the response in the other thread – as for “cost”, call it 2 to 6 grand (depending on size and whether or not I get lucky and get a back haul quote). Maintenance and repair for vehicles such as ^ are surprisingly low, with the caveat that I have a fully kitted out setup in Sweden where I can handle anything from a mundande repaints to fabricating spare parts (up to and including vision blocks) .Now, rebuilds like in the show (if it’s the one I’m thinking about) are legit crazy expensive, because you’ve got to source parts, steel and manufacturing plans to get a finished product (which is basically “new”, as opposed to maintaining something that’s already in running order).

Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You definitely should to do several posts on this for our amusement and your cathartic release of any frustrations. Maybe write-ups are not worth your time, but we’d enjoy them. Some of us like reading about people who actually do cool shit. Yeah Right can cater (freeze and ship). That is really cheap for that kind of tonnage.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

seconded, please write about these. just the pics would be awesome.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Holy shit!!

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bk109

They also have a Jag cabrio as well, I think.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, closest I’ll get is watching Endeavor. Just a quick mental inventory; an equal amount of friends/ acquaintances have rebuild projects that are never touched as those that finish. The most interesting is the one who has done four Mini’s of various years, two for rally racers.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

thanks for the links, I couldn’t figure out how to join the EPL pool. Assuming Sharky doesn’t join, last place is MINE

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Sharkbait

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Also I did join

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King Hippo

Signed up for all three, the struggle is real.

Hippo is also in a Survivor AND Loser pool for moneys ($20 entry for each), if interested in joining that, shoot me a message and I will put you in touch with the organizer.

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bk109

I wanna congratulate myself for getting the ball rolling… by asking if I missed an announcement like ^ 😀 But seriously, over/under how much of the NFL will be played before the beer bug or ebola or something causes the Ginger Hammer to suspend play?

Last edited 5 years ago by bk109
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King Hippo

Malevolent competence is The Shield’s specialty, and I expect full 16 games for all 32 teams. For realsies.

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bk109

I’m thinking 10 weeks, before they go into a full headless chicken mode (possibly twitter-induced)
Meanwhile, I must lodge a formal complaint against Moose, ’cause in the course of trying to explain to him that tanks aren’t that expensive, I went through a couple of sites that gave me ideas… and wifey DISLIKES me getting ideas heavier than like 5 tonnes 😀

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You knew what I meant.

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yeah right

How convenient. I was cooking a sleeve of saltines and a tin of Vienna sausages for Thanksgiving this year and that will easily ship!

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LemonJello

Those will be the best gott-dammed saltines and Vienna sausages you’ve ever fuckin’ ate, though!

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yeah right

You’re goddamn right!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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