Tilts? Matches? Confrontations? Matchups? Oh yeah, we got more coming your way. TO THE GAMES!
Chargers/Bengalis:
Cincinnati is yours for the taking young Burrow. That is, if you play up to expectations. And if you manage to succeed, could you do something about the lighting and decor? Thanks. Austin Ekeler is listed as the starter but he’s a mere 200 pounds, not nearly big enough to handle the rock the way a traditional RB1 does. Look for (reviews depth chart, sees that Jackson is 200 and Kelley is only 212) umm, someone to hit the weight room hard, I guess?
Cards/Niners:
The breakout seasons for Murray and Drake may have to be delayed for a week or so if San Franny’s D does their thing. Even Hopkins might be hemmed in because he’ll be tailed by the underrated but very effective Emmanuel Moseley.
Bucs/Saints:
This is the only team that Brees can play against whereby he be the younger qb. I thought for sure that the Jags would run Fournette into the ground and then kick him to the curb at the end of the year because I guess I’m just that cynical. But no, they did not because I guess being a cancer in the locker room can cause a change of plans. I read somewhere that rb’s that run for over 900 yards and score 5 td’s or less almost always bounce back into the double digits the following year which makes a great deal of sense to me.
Do your stretches, grab your snacks, pour your beverages, break some wind-do whatever you need to and get ready for round 2. GO!
The NFL is not really a fan of nature tones
Korean news agency shakes head at that cgi Brady Brees montage
I really want to take that Garropppopolloo scramble, edit out the field, edit in the Studio 54 dancefloor and some shitty disco
Lol @ Buccs 23 & 24 waving their hands around incredulously complaining about the PI, while 33’s in between them, quietly pointing to himself, admitting it was him.
2 tiny refs singing Kamaraaaaa
KODACHROMEDOWN!
Wrong continent, Boris.
Leave it outta the freezer, Seamus Seamostovich.
Romo: [calls the next play]
Aikman: [that INT was not Brady’s fault!!!]
BRADY INT!!!
Kamara with the TD. This bodes well for Biden’s chances.
Revenge of the Hey Mack
Bitchin Kamara
Deffo ran over his neighboUr
Bengals Offense is one offensive line away being a great offense.
White Announcers In Love With Taysom Hill.*
*check
They made the mistake of underestimating a Cook from Louisiana
I guarantee!
Arizona can’t stop the Coronavirus, but they can stop a single punt!
Week 2 Arizona will ban face masks at home games
Look, I kind of knew that Everton’s masterclass would burn up my happiness quotient for the week. Maybe the month.
“We traded for one of the best receivers in the league!”
That’s good
“Then we renegotiated his contract to make him the highest paid non-QB in the league!”
That’s… ok?
“And we have Kyler Murray to throw it to him!”
That’s bad.
“We have Kyler Murray”
“That’s bad”
Could have just led with that
Every Cincinnator just made Skyline Chili in their Mack Wheldons.
Burrows out with impacted bowels due to skyline chili
Hangover/drunk nap may happen.
Working from home never came in so handy
Woo Burrow!
Grey Poupon-down!
Anyone else want to see RoJo take the starting job and leave fournette in his rear view mirror? Just me and the other guys who drafted him before the acquisition? Got it.
The (predictable) Brady ball-gurgling has made me mute the teevee.
I thought for awhile I had clicked on that game instead of Red Zone.
Oh hey. Spectrum changed its packages during the summer and now I don’t have redzone. Folksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Had to only up the 10 here since avoiding the sports bar
Pay extortion rates already for their “Gold” (wanking motion) package but was pacified by sports access, which apparently no longer applies
Me too. I AM PEEVED!
When I had to get a Spectrum box (old Time Warner ones were made obsolete), I asked the lady like 5 times “I still get RedZone, right??”
Ours was formerly Charter, which I would say is worse, but can you really say any of these are less evil than their peers?
Agreed.
Yeah, I discovered that this morning, too.
Wouldn’t be the first time a lions receiver has dropped a game winning touchdown on opening day vs the bears
49ers have fan cutouts in the end zone stands
Lions did too.
The Lions replacing their fans with cardboard cutouts has nothing to do with COVID-19 though. It’s suicide-prevention month.
Goddammit, Dreamboat’s passes look good.
Dammit.
Good or bad, there’s just something a little unsatisfying about watching the modern 49rs
Will this walking corpse get all the bailout calls in Tampa, too?
Yes Other Hippo, he sure will!!
Who is this other Hippo? Does he like the outside?
No, I do not.
Chubb had 10 carries for 60 yds. I am not a mathlete but maybe run him more?
Hey referee Mr Brady I like your hair
I would be so happy if Mostert starred in a Grey Poupon ad
Gotta fixx this comment section. Was that so hard?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCM4_5uB1ww&ab_channel=TheFixxVEVO
whoa-ho!
I’m at the point in my drinking where I want all the garbage food avalanched on me by all the ads. As always, I will opt for slightly less garbage food from my fridge.
I am thinking Pizza Hut (pie and wings) for RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! v. Non-Gendered Cowpersons.
Yes, you should judge.
I can’t because my local chain has an amazing hot sauce for wings that I haven’t been able to replicate just yet.
Oh no. That is good hustle, we did it on Thursday.
Remember when dine in Huts were a thing?
They’re trashy family buffets in the UK!
We used to have all you can eat KFC in the prairies. That was a wild scene.
There was one on the way to my parents’ house when they lived on Oak Island. Stopped almost every time. Buffet still had old school KFC potato wedges, even.
Doesn’t joe buck have a cowboys game to announce
They shoulda made Brady and Brees play defense as well for this game
Yes, Dreamboat fucking dies, we know Breesus would come back 3 days later.
Yes, the air quality is ONLY unhealthy, good thing football is unhealthy anyway, PLAY BALL
Man, I want the Mad Max hellscape feed!
Eh, it’s not that great, instead of the awesome glowing red sky it’s just slightly more solid looking fog right now
that really is all disappoint
More like Joe “Can I Burrow a Feeling” amirite?
My addict brain wants to play some Footy Manager, but I don’t want to be semi-cheating on RedZone.
Here comes the Senior (citizens) Bowl!
I can’t decide which of these walking T-Mobile billboards I want to win the U.S. Open.
My logic is this: I’m a Fed fan. I don’t want Nadal to pass him on total Slams. That means we need someone to beat Rafa on clay. Thiem is the best shot at that, and the confidence boost of winning the U.S. Open might help him.
Also, I find Zverev to be a bit of a flake and tough to cheer for.
Burrow attempting to burrow in the Cincy turf.
Dear browns,
At the request of my mother, I gave up smoking and drinking at the onset of Covid. Since Jan, not a drop or a cig.
Your performance today has resulted in me drinking a pint of gin and chain-smoking a pack of camel unfilters.
I hate you the same way you hate success.
That is all.
Yours,
JSD
P.S. Eat a dick you bastards.
We all need an escape!
That’s about 9 months, you just birthed a hate-baby
RumoUrs of an improved Bungles OL may have been premature.
There is no reason for Bengals vs Chargers to be a 4pm game. This is spiritually 1pm game with Ian Eagle and Dan Fouts calling it in front of a stadium with approximately the same amount of people in it.
That Swift drop cost me all my early action. Penis.
My hands are shaking
Pop a pill, always straightens me out.
Chargers dressed appropriately for a 1990 NFL video game
So, this must be the U.S. Open final thread, too, right?
Right?
Do what you need to do.
Hell, it took years but we are now a futbol site on Saturdays!
#AllFootyMatters