We saw all these ‘soft tissue’ injuries coming, didn’t we? The rush to play combined with the lack of proper preparation led us here. Thing is, are there more injuries than a usual-season first week? I don’t have that answer but if someone comes up with it and the answer is ‘less’, The Shield shall crow it from the mountaintops.
TO THE GAMES!
Bills/Fins:
Buffalo’s Edmunds and Milano-two starting lbs, are out of commission and another backup is as well. Some guys from the practice squad have been engaged but look for heavy safety looks today. Miami’s secondary is looking good but the D as a whole only got 4 pressuses on Cam last week. That means good things for Allen if he can limit his tendency towards bone-headed turnovers.
Niners/Jets:
San Franny is all kinds of banged up but will it matter? Because you see, Adam Gase got his dream backfield of Gore/Ballage once again. Does the guy have Hypotoad capabilities? I’ve looked at all other options and this is the conclusion I’ve come to.
Broncs/Steelers:
Rb Conner is ready and raring to go after much teeth-gnashing by the fandom earlier in the week. Expect this cycle to repeat itself often this year. No worries though, Snell Jr filled in with a healthy 5.9 ypa and 2.89 yards after contact. That said, the Denver run D is a whole nother kettle of ponies.
Vikes/Colts:
You know what they say, “You can take the serial baby-maker out of LA but you can’t make him pass to his wr’s”. Of his 36 noodly appendage passes, 50% were to his rbs.
Jags/Titans:
Tennessee should roll as long as they can find Laviska Shenault. The ‘supposed’ wr played out wide, in the slot, at te, at rb and even had one down at qb. That’s interesting stuff.
Falcons/Cowboys:
Atlanta refused to address their lousy secondary during the offseason and paid the price yet again last week. They allowed the 8th most fantasy points to receivers but I think they can do even better vs. Cooper, Gallup and Lamb-maybe 2nd or 3rd most?
Rams/Eagles:
Philly’s glad to get Sanders back at back because Boston Scott got all of 35 yards on the ground last week. Fantasy deep-sleeper! Pshaw, I say.
Giants/Bears:
Call me a dumb Giants fan but I think Saquon flashes here. Y’all thinking, ‘but Bears D’ and I hear ya but they gave up almost 100 yards to AP and Swift would have had 4 catches and a TD if not for that egregious drop in the end zone last week. Bears sorta escaped that game.
Lions/Packers:
Rodgers had a 96 PFF grade last week, his highest in more than a decade. Did a trainer say something nice about his mom or something?
Panthers/Bucs:
This is Brady’s ‘get right’ game, right? But Godwin is out and Carolina looked functional last week. Don’t take the 9.5 spread but you may want to play Scotty Miller-he’s smallish but grabbed all 5 of his targets for 73 yards last week.
Go get ’em.
McCarthy needs to go NOW
I dunno, I kinda like the uniqueness of his “drop the ball’ offensive strategy.
I can’t wait till Thanksgiving. I will be watching all the games from a fancy beach resort in Cabo, that’s also less than an hour from the Old Town and walking distance to a swimmable beach.
Say what you will, Big Ben never stops.
You can plead, beg, and bang on that bathroom door for help, he ain’t stopping.
HARF, The Ben is playing fun game, pew pew
Holy shit. 17-0 with 4 minutes to go in the first?
Turn to the Giants game if you want to see a team implode in real time.
Pretty sure we’re all seeing this with our favorite teams. It’s impressive really.
I do not understand how Arcega-Whiteside is as bad as he is. I’m glad they were able to get Agholor’s replacement in the second round last year
OK, fantasy FITBAW. I gives up.
Daniel Jones playing like Bob Jones
At least Barkley will have all the time he wants to play Cyberpunk 2077 now.
Welcome to Dion Lewisland.
Looking like last week was just a warmup for injuries…
They put barkley in again after being injured the previous play. Giants acquired the redacteds med staff in the off season
Saquon is down, grabbing his knee.
You mean elbow, right? The one that popped or he got extra ded?
Extra ded.
Extra Bad Ded
Yeah, I just saw it on RedZone…wow, back to back ded’s …
Um, sorry, scotchy
Aim higher, car
She charges extra for that.
If that scene was filmed in Nevada the VW cannot be prosecuted.
Fuckballs
Dallas trying this new wear our the other teams offense strategy
The offense they’re wearing out is the Giants
Rivers delivers an a premature interception at the goal line, he must be getting old as he used to be able to hold out till the 4th quarter for those.
Or at least until Tiffany took off her shoulder pads
They are now on her knees.
I wasn’t aware that delivering something prematurely was an issue in the Rivers’ family, but I guess when the numbers game gets that big, things will happen.
That first quarter flew by and I’m not even near Hippo’s pill stash
I gotta be honest, I can’t pretend to have a whole lot of interest in the NFL this season.
But I <i>can</i> pretend to have <i>some</i> interest in the NFL this season. So who’s going to be good this year? The Jets? The Bengals?
Keep guessing
Orthopedic surgeons are the real winners
Miami just blinked out of existence. Then entire city.
2020 sucks.
It’s too bad that body parts aren’t interchangeable like on Mr. Potato head. Although as long as Mustard has two good legs SC is probably okay
Truthbiscuit throws the prettiest flutterball in the league.
jfc
It’s not fair that Miami doesn’t have to follow Covid restrictions and let in the usual number of fans for a home game.
Am calling to see if they will see me now to get the dogs nails cut. Fuck this shit.
I’m not comfortable in a reality where the slurs are the only competent NFC East team
Define ‘competent’
Fucking Cowboys. I hate my fucking team. I wish Double would die already. Fucker is going to live until he’s 200
David Montgomery is not this good.
Good enough: the Chicago Way
When an announcer uses a word like “plaudits” you know they’re tumescent
Last time I did a job in NYC, my back was killing me so I went to a massage parlor. I had to argue with the woman I was there for just a massage and did not want the happy ending.
Prolly just used to when the P*ts are in town.
Dallas doesn’t want to play offense today. KILL McCarthy!
You can have Garrett back. Giants have 4 yards of offense in 3 sets of downs.
MOAR BUBBLE SCREENS
Also, Chelski…you had ONE JERB
You know can watch Donks?
Fletcher Cox is definitely a player the Eagles can afford to lose
What the hell!? Who stocked the Santa Clara fridge with MALK?
Second injury TO in the last 15 seconds or so
Damn, Bosa is down a leg
Nick Bosa’s legs turned into spaghetti
MAKE HIS LEGS GREAT AGAIN
PUT IN HINES, MOTHERFUCKER
Jeff Driskell imminent
THIS GUY KYLE FULLER I CALL HIM DADDY BECAUSE HE’S SLAPPING AROUND BALLS
Something called a ‘Gilliam’ vultured Diggs, Moss’, Singletary and Allens TD.
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=d60GozCNi2g
BrokebackDOWN
When you have no expectations, disappoint isnt so hard a bite.
Sigh. Sad Donks.
Dallas is not gonna have a fun year
1963 all over again…
FIngers crossed!
You can’t blame Daniel Jones for following in Eli’s footsteps and being a turnover machine
He learned from the best.
My favorite Eli moment was the night game against Philly when he broke off a long scramble during an all-out blitz, fell forward untouched down the field, and fumbled the ball away
The footsteps Eli heard have followed in the footsteps of the footsteps Daniel is hearing. I’m high.
Dimes is stripped A FUCKING AGAIN
I really should try to care about SF, since I live here and don’t really have a team at the moment, but I’m not sure I know how to support a team that appears to be competently run
Can we call them Santa Clara Football Team?
Absolutely!
Also took GB in all my Survivor pools, so today looking just peachy
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Wmc8bQoL-J0
Cooking the breakfast bacon on the barbecue. Bonus: The flames are killing all the moths!
Boo Bears on the board.
IS THAT BUDDY’S MUSIC?