Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It’s not often you get a whole boxcar to yourself but the thing is you can’t very much enjoy it. The rocking motion puts you to sleep, over and over again. I was headed west on the Pennsylvania ’cause I heard there was a get-together around New Goshen, Indiana-never heard of it before but what else was there to do? You never know with these meetups. Sometimes 5 folks showed, sometimes 20, sometimes 50. The big ones a real hoot, plenty of drinking and swapping of stories both real and tall. Where was I? Ah, the sleeping. I don’t dream much anymore but I dreamt of Johnny last night. I knew because I woke in a sweat that was both cold and warm. That hadn’t happened in a while. Hope it doesn’t happen again soon.

I met him in boot camp-I’d gotten kicked out of the house, there was a war on that the U.S. had recently joined and I figured I’d do my part. He was there on the bus headed to the base. You couldn’t miss him. Bright red hair, pale skin like it was a thin cotton bedsheet. He was getting a ribbing from some guys and wasn’t getting upset about it, kept his cool. I noticed that about him. After we got our brushcuts the jokes died down a little but not with our drill instructor-he lit into Johnny something fierce but Johnny would just take it, I mean what could he do, jaw back at him? I figured our instructor needed a whipping boy and Johnny could take it so that’s how it went.

The first time we were all allowed off the base Johnny wore this bright red bandana or maybe it was a neckerchief?, around his neck. I couldn’t believe it. He was inviting all kinds of shit-talking but it occurred to me that this kid, a kid just like me, was his own man. From that day forward we buddied up. Most times when guys rode him he smiled and looked down like he had some sort of secret he was gonna keep to himself. Things got rough a few times and we got into some scraps but nothing serious.

We made it through boot camp easy and were sent to England in mid-May of ’44. Things were coming to a head, there were so many rumors flying round but I knew we would be seeing some action. Sure enough, we found ourselves on a transport ship headed to ‘Utah Beach’. I thought it was kinda funny that them Frenchman had a beach with the same name of one of our states. Johnny was sitting across from me and we were both nervous as hell but we kept looking at each other and it was unspoken, ‘I’ve got your back and you got mine’. Just before we were about to jump out he yelled at me to get my attention and I saw that he had his ‘lucky’ red bandana tucked in his chest pocket. Big grin on his face. I laughed.

We made sure we were no more than 3 yards from each other as we made our way forward. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny fall backward, his face in the sand. I rolled him over and he was done for. It looked like the bullet he took hit his shoulder and went into his neck. His eyes were glazed over, his mouth was moving and nothing was coming out. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and time seemed to hang in the air for a bit. I couldn’t see anything around me, there was no gunfire, no explosions. But then a bullet grazed my arm, stinging me back to now. I grabbed his lucky bandana out of his pocket and moved forward with the rest of the unit.

I couldn’t tell you what happened the next few days-I remember anger, fear, desperation, dread and other stuff all jumbled together as one. It was night near a fire later on when I was eating my rations that I ‘came to’. I dropped my food and wandered a little bit, finding a shed that I collapsed into and I began sobbing. I cried for a long time, so long that I pissed myself, not that it mattered one bit.

I kept hold of his bandana in the belief that the luck would work for me if it didn’t for him. It’s usually folded away among my things but when we have these get-togethers I tuck one corner of it in my front pocket and let it hang down. You see, you’ve got to stand out in some way so that you can be identified by your brothers. At one of my first ones a guy asked me what my nickname was. “Nickname? I never thought about it”. This old fella said, “Look over there, that’s Doulbledown Pete, over there’s Triple Trouble and that guy’s Frank Fancy. You gotta have a name.” I looked down at the bandana trailing out of my pocket, “I guess my name’s Johnny, Dead Johnny, is what it is.” The old man looked at me, turning the name over in his mind, “Dead Johnny… Dead Johnny… damn, that’s a good one, folks’ll remember that one for sure!”

And that’s how I got my name, and I gotta admit it’s catching on. What is it, ’48? Maybe 1949? I’ve been at this now for a few years anyway and the name is starting to get around…

/to be continued

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Seahawks:

Cam Newton’s star turn last week caused many to overlook the fact that the entire receiving corps went 10 for 96 yards. That’s 2019 Michael Thomas numbers! Needless to say, this isn’t the most opportune time to get the passing game going. So look for more of Pats wr’s not being able to get separation and Cam trying to make the best of it.

Enjoy.

 

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Recovery Whiskey

Brady can’t have that anymore he ‘s a losing QB in Tampa

Sharkbait

Evening people.

Stupid Bills failing to cover

Gatoraids

Salute to Amazon’s AI to switching from REM Nightswimming to 2 Live Crews Banned In The USA . It fits us to well

TheRevanchist

Thursday night game is going to be fun to watch.

Doktor Zymm

Sensors are small enough nowadays, how awesome would it be if they wired up every player on one game/week for motion capture? You could really see the way the O-line works together and how all the pieces come together for run blocking

Viva La Tabula Raza

As long as they made sure to turn them off when they go to the toilet at halftime.

Game Time Decision

How about the put the sensors in the football so they know when it crosses the goal line or forward progress is or where the shanked punt went out of bounds

But ya that would be awesome

Last edited 4 years ago by Game Time Decision
Doktor Zymm

It would have to be a mesh, but pretty easy to do. It’s insane that millions of dollars are riding on some hardware and eyeballs

Recovery Whiskey

Do that and next thing they’ll start expecting cop cameras to work. Idk is middle America ready

Doktor Zymm

Missed a block? “oh uh, coach, I forgot to turn my sensor on, but I’m pretty sure he had a gun”

Recovery Whiskey

The ball over the line 3D in the Prem is awesome

Gatoraids
Last edited 4 years ago by Gatoraids
TheRevanchist

She’s a hoot

Fronkenshteen

The Paul Giamatti Volkswagen ads are great. The Bill Belichick Subway ads are less great.

Horatio Cornblower

Almost like Giamatti is a terrific actor and Belichick is a monomaniacal prick.

Recovery Whiskey

Homer was knocked out by the kicker. D’oh

rockingdog

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Kinks’ “Superman” as Cam Newton bumper music very apropos.

Fronkenshteen

“Dedicated Follower Of Fashion “ works too.

Gumbygirl

Or “Dandy”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Only during the postgame.

Recovery Whiskey

A second Cam has hit the south tower

Last edited 4 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

I don’t think I will get used to Cam the Pat this year. It’s really odd. Although I do enjoy the cognitive dissonance the refs are experiencing whenever they have to decide on a roughing the passer penalty

Gumbygirl

Speaking of cognitive dissonance, I need to roll a joint.

The Maestro

FUCK YEAH SUPERCAM WOOOOOOOOO

TheRevanchist

I want a footlong.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

-sigh-

Deanna Favre

Redshirt

That was the laziest, dismissive disqualification announcement I’ve ever seen.

Doktor Zymm

I’m okay with that. Normalize getting kicked out for that shit, I want to watch football, not snuff films

WCS

Better not watch any Dolphins or Bengals games this year then.

Recovery Whiskey

See ya Diggs. Gotta lead with the shoulder

rockingdog

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Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

Put him in concussion protocol please, just because he got up relatively quickly doesn’t mean he wasn’t concussed

Redshirt

Yup. Sometimes they are so concussed, they don’t know they are really hurt.

Recovery Whiskey

Grumblelord had to approve it first

Viva La Tabula Raza

“OVER THE LINE, SMOKEY!!!”
—Cris Collinsworth

Redshirt

My repressed memory to THAT WILD CARD GAME just resurfaced with that hit.

rockingdog

yeeeee

Recovery Whiskey

That moment when you realize Kam Chancellor could not play today’s game

Horatio Cornblower

Tom Brady may not have liked N’Keel Harry, but at least he never tried to kill him like Cam just did

Redshirt

The Patriots’ shoulder stripes color combination are making me lightheaded. Either I need to call my eye doctor or that was an excellent move by Darth Hoodie.

King Hippo

JEEBUS, how’d you like to go through life named “Poona?”

Good thing dude is big.

The Maestro

He loves it when you call him Big Poona.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Me Big Poona Tanga!”

Doktor Zymm

Really depends where dude grew up

JimU

My penis has very complicated feelings about this.

Recovery Whiskey

That would have been roughing if it was Brady

Doktor Zymm

I can see Pete Carroll lecturing the team about Antifa, and also starting to mispronounce An-tibiotics, an-tistatic, and every other word with the ‘anti’ prefix to match the idiot way Americans say Antifa

Recovery Whiskey

There was talk of renaming the Hawks Nest the CHOP Zone

Viva La Tabula Raza

ka-MAUL-a Harris.

Recovery Whiskey

Watch Carroll just run it in every time now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Recovery Whiskey

Little Hillary Clinton was not always this much of a drinker

Recovery Whiskey

Wait, Belichick let some milf get pregnant?

Doktor Zymm

He can’t properly wrap up his face, what makes you think his dick is any different?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wonder if Steve Belichick drives a bitchin’ 80s IROC-Z to go along with his haircut.

clint greasewood

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Doktor Zymm

Oh god, Psy-ops wasn’t a misspelling….

Senor Weaselo

In the censored for TV version it’s “Party Wagon.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“My name is Buck, and I like to cluck a stranger in the Alps.”

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

Is it weird that I’m really irritated by the entire idea of putting a spoiler on a pickup? AERODYNAMICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

Gumbygirl

The mullet! My eyes!!

Doktor Zymm
Gumbygirl

I love them!

Doktor Zymm

Cuz they’re awesome 😀

Recovery Whiskey

Look at that little megget run

Doktor Zymm

It’s a good thing they can’t give penalties for being personally foul

King Hippo

Have to love a teasing out story…

/also the ‘Truthers is boned

Recovery Whiskey

Soft call

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“CUT!”

-Porn director

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Send in the fluffers!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a damn good song.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Pffft, Santa Clara scored longer and faster

Gumbygirl

Michelle Tefoya (sp?) looks really good. If she’s had a few nips and tucks, her surgeon is an artist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MILF ALERT!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

At 55, she’s moving into the GILF age range.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Close enough.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m in my 60s,that’s cradle-robbing for me….

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
The Maestro

FUCK YEAH DEVIN MCCOURTY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

oh ugh, the jar

Recovery Whiskey

Well that was a gift

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Recovery Whiskey

The hands tell the story — Greg Olsen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Sigh.”

-Jerry Jeudy

The Maestro

Also, Belichick has zero fucking clue on how to wear a mask.

Doktor Zymm

He’s in that category of old that doesn’t understand that sound will go through the mask. I bet he also yells into phones because he’s talking to someone far away

Gatoraids

Grumble grumble learned it from your mom

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wearing over you mouth and not your nose is like wearing a condom over your nutsack.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

And now I just hear the news about James White’s family. Fuck.

Doktor Zymm

Traffic accidents are random and scary. I love driving, but every once in a while I get low-key terrified when I have a moment of clarity about how dangerous it actually is

The Maestro

Folks. Hope you’re well. Been a weird weekend here – I’ve been moping about the whole time, worrying about a COVID test – finally got it. Negative. TIME TO FUCKING PARTY AND GO PATS WOOOOOOOOOOO

Doktor Zymm

GO BREATHE ALL OVER PEOPLE!

Recovery Whiskey

Glad you are able to drink without fear of covid!

Senor Weaselo

CHUH CHUH

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great news.

clint greasewood

Instead of this stupid country twang rock theme just play the whatever is the number 1 song on the charts.In this case its WAP by Cardi B fest Megan the Stallion.

Doktor Zymm

A friend of mine works on a charter yacht, they had to make a rule that you couldn’t play “WAP” and “I’m on a Boat” more than once every 90 minutes, because people love to put those 2 on repeat

King Hippo

I do not know this song at all, nor do I care to. GIT OFF A-MAH LAWN

Doktor Zymm

So after the bulk of the games this week, the NFC East, South are the only two divisions without a 2 win team, and if the Saints win tomorrow than it’ll just be the East

Recovery Whiskey

Nazi Hair picks New England

Recovery Whiskey

Sleepless in Seattle joke. Drink.

Doktor Zymm

We should make shitty, alliterative rom coms about every NFL city just to make things easier for hackneyed announcers!

WCS

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Recovery Whiskey

I see you found Carlie Jo, owner of a bikini barista stand in Kent, WA.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FINISH HIM!

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