Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It’s not often you get a whole boxcar to yourself but the thing is you can’t very much enjoy it. The rocking motion puts you to sleep, over and over again. I was headed west on the Pennsylvania ’cause I heard there was a get-together around New Goshen, Indiana-never heard of it before but what else was there to do? You never know with these meetups. Sometimes 5 folks showed, sometimes 20, sometimes 50. The big ones a real hoot, plenty of drinking and swapping of stories both real and tall. Where was I? Ah, the sleeping. I don’t dream much anymore but I dreamt of Johnny last night. I knew because I woke in a sweat that was both cold and warm. That hadn’t happened in a while. Hope it doesn’t happen again soon.

I met him in boot camp-I’d gotten kicked out of the house, there was a war on that the U.S. had recently joined and I figured I’d do my part. He was there on the bus headed to the base. You couldn’t miss him. Bright red hair, pale skin like it was a thin cotton bedsheet. He was getting a ribbing from some guys and wasn’t getting upset about it, kept his cool. I noticed that about him. After we got our brushcuts the jokes died down a little but not with our drill instructor-he lit into Johnny something fierce but Johnny would just take it, I mean what could he do, jaw back at him? I figured our instructor needed a whipping boy and Johnny could take it so that’s how it went.

The first time we were all allowed off the base Johnny wore this bright red bandana or maybe it was a neckerchief?, around his neck. I couldn’t believe it. He was inviting all kinds of shit-talking but it occurred to me that this kid, a kid just like me, was his own man. From that day forward we buddied up. Most times when guys rode him he smiled and looked down like he had some sort of secret he was gonna keep to himself. Things got rough a few times and we got into some scraps but nothing serious.

We made it through boot camp easy and were sent to England in mid-May of ’44. Things were coming to a head, there were so many rumors flying round but I knew we would be seeing some action. Sure enough, we found ourselves on a transport ship headed to ‘Utah Beach’. I thought it was kinda funny that them Frenchman had a beach with the same name of one of our states. Johnny was sitting across from me and we were both nervous as hell but we kept looking at each other and it was unspoken, ‘I’ve got your back and you got mine’. Just before we were about to jump out he yelled at me to get my attention and I saw that he had his ‘lucky’ red bandana tucked in his chest pocket. Big grin on his face. I laughed.

We made sure we were no more than 3 yards from each other as we made our way forward. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny fall backward, his face in the sand. I rolled him over and he was done for. It looked like the bullet he took hit his shoulder and went into his neck. His eyes were glazed over, his mouth was moving and nothing was coming out. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and time seemed to hang in the air for a bit. I couldn’t see anything around me, there was no gunfire, no explosions. But then a bullet grazed my arm, stinging me back to now. I grabbed his lucky bandana out of his pocket and moved forward with the rest of the unit.

I couldn’t tell you what happened the next few days-I remember anger, fear, desperation, dread and other stuff all jumbled together as one. It was night near a fire later on when I was eating my rations that I ‘came to’. I dropped my food and wandered a little bit, finding a shed that I collapsed into and I began sobbing. I cried for a long time, so long that I pissed myself, not that it mattered one bit.

I kept hold of his bandana in the belief that the luck would work for me if it didn’t for him. It’s usually folded away among my things but when we have these get-togethers I tuck one corner of it in my front pocket and let it hang down. You see, you’ve got to stand out in some way so that you can be identified by your brothers. At one of my first ones a guy asked me what my nickname was. “Nickname? I never thought about it”. This old fella said, “Look over there, that’s Doulbledown Pete, over there’s Triple Trouble and that guy’s Frank Fancy. You gotta have a name.” I looked down at the bandana trailing out of my pocket, “I guess my name’s Johnny, Dead Johnny, is what it is.” The old man looked at me, turning the name over in his mind, “Dead Johnny… Dead Johnny… damn, that’s a good one, folks’ll remember that one for sure!”

And that’s how I got my name, and I gotta admit it’s catching on. What is it, ’48? Maybe 1949? I’ve been at this now for a few years anyway and the name is starting to get around…

/to be continued

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Seahawks:

Cam Newton’s star turn last week caused many to overlook the fact that the entire receiving corps went 10 for 96 yards. That’s 2019 Michael Thomas numbers! Needless to say, this isn’t the most opportune time to get the passing game going. So look for more of Pats wr’s not being able to get separation and Cam trying to make the best of it.

Enjoy.

 

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Redshirt

“Let Russ Cook” is gonna be 2020’s “Oh, for the love of God, SHUT UP!” NFL phrase.

Mr. Ayo

And he missed that throw too.

Doktor Zymm

Too bad Breaking Bad is done and they can’t do a crossover

Doktor Zymm

Hooray for distraction!

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Brocky

/

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Recovery Whiskey

Smart

Redshirt

Edelman was just reverse cradle piledriven on that hit.

Brocky

the fact that Edelman didn’t somehow end up in tampa as well makes me wonder how much leverage brady actually had

Redshirt

Brady wanted to be the Assistant Head Coach. Belichick just wanted him to be the Quarterback. That’s a simple as that.

WCS

Why does it feel like Edeleman has been the league for 84 years?

Doktor Zymm

Time distortion is a concussion symptom

Doktor Zymm

Also a symptom of psychedelics and religious experiences.

Fronkenshteen

Because he looks like an undecided voter in the last days of the Weimar Republic?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, one more of those

Mr. Ayo

OMG. Just won my FF matchup on that one. Maybe.

Doktor Zymm

Just an impression, but it seems like D-backs have been hit hardest by the wave of injuries today

Redshirt

NFL Players: “We don’t need a preseason! Its stupid!”
Injured Reserve: “I’m gonna end a whole shitload of careers.”

Horatio Cornblower

I’d disappoint her at least as much as tonight’s game is going to.

Recovery Whiskey

Welp Irvin is done for the year

WCS

D’OH

Mr. Ayo

Sucks.

Recovery Whiskey

12 lol

Redshirt

Now at this point, Marvel Studios is just showing off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD7s_jQOCrQ

Senor Weaselo

I’m still not sure what’ll happen, but I’ll roll with it.

Brocky

I kinda get the idea that all that 50’s sitcom stuff is all just one episode

Doktor Zymm

Team with awful person coach and talented but kinda annoying QB beating team with awful person coach and talented but kinda annoying QB is not nearly as satisfying as beating a team with an awful person coach and talented but awful person QB

Fronkenshteen

Awful person QBs. Farve? Manning?

Recovery Whiskey

I think her kids are in my nephews class in Maple Valley Elementary

Recovery Whiskey

MVP that guy

TheRevanchist

Mario Van Peebles says thank you, it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Recovery Whiskey

Beat the blitz

Viva La Tabula Raza

—Winston Churchill, 1940

Recovery Whiskey

Jesus DK is ripped

Brocky
Redshirt

Tom Brady isn’t a Patriot anymore or even involved with or interested in this game. Why is Collinsworth still verbally fellating him?

TheRevanchist

Old habits die hard. And then they go soft. But if you wait 15 to 30 minutes…

Fronkenshteen

Now I want Chinese food.

Redshirt

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

Ever carry a torch for an ex?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Imprinting.

clint greasewood

Robert Kraft watching from the Rising Lotus Spa.

Doktor Zymm

I’m assuming she’s applying for colleges this year? Best of luck to her, and happy birthday from another September bday 🙂

litre_cola

Get her in to McGill or Queens up here, to avoid the unsettling that is about to happen with you lot.

Fronkenshteen

Happy Birthday to your daughter!

Gumbygirl

Me too! Mine is the 26th.

Doktor Zymm

I’m 22nd, we should cheers during the Thursday game!

Gumbygirl

We will! September b’days are the best. Gumby’s was the 1st and it’s a 0 year for us. He’s in his 60’s now, poor old fella.

Recovery Whiskey

Thank you JEST

Mr. Ayo

Seriously. How can a franchise not bend over backwards to please a player like that?

Oh wait, Gase? Yeah, got it.

Fronkenshteen

I’m at the point in my Jets fandom that I’m actively rooting against them until ownership changes hands.

Recovery Whiskey

As a 1990s Hawks fan I salute you

clint greasewood

Colinworth should give DFO his MVP ballot.

Doktor Zymm

We would just vote for Pollard every year

Fronkenshteen

I need Cam Newton to throw deep to DK Metcalf. SHUT UP I CAN DREAM!!

Mr. Ayo

Are you managing my team?

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Fronkenshteen

For your sake, I hope not. I stink so bad, I stink.

herodotus450

There’s gotta be enough Emmy and/or Grammy categories that DFO has one by now, right?

Fronkenshteen

“Moast Hustle”

Last edited 4 years ago by Fronkenshteen
Horatio Cornblower

“Least Time Spent Outside”

Doktor Zymm

I hope we get Best Cinematography

TheRevanchist

Drunkest pervs who have slept with Julian Edelman.

Brocky

moose wins best gif usage in a landslide

Doktor Zymm

The tragedy of sports announcers is that this is them at their best. If you had a conversation with them at a party you would be LUCKY if it was this good.

Recovery Whiskey

Collinsworth sounds like he would be pretty amusing drunk

Fronkenshteen

Al with the politics.

Recovery Whiskey

Deep Dickson

Fronkenshteen

Not for nothing, but what the fuck kind of dreadlocks is/are Cam sporting? It looks like he made them with maple syrup.

Viva La Tabula Raza

New England is noted for it’s maple syrup. North Carolina is not.

clint greasewood

vinegar based BBQ sauce it is.

Viva La Tabula Raza

NC BBQ is not BBQ.
Source—TX BBQ.

litre_cola

As a neutral Canuck, agreed.

The other is fancy mustard.

Doktor Zymm

“Nothing wrong with fancy mustard!”

-Raheem Mostert

Fronkenshteen

It’s different, but goddamn tasty.

Recovery Whiskey

Lewis upholding German Ifedi’s lofty standard

Viva La Tabula Raza

The Bart, The.

Doktor Zymm

The Pats still call a QB sneak all the damn time, yet the D somehow has an easier time stopping it when it’s Cam

Recovery Whiskey

Defense is allowed to hit Cam

Recovery Whiskey

Brady’s comment was written by his publicist

Recovery Whiskey

We suddenly remembered Cam from Carolina

Fronkenshteen

I wish Instant Hippo Thoughts took 8 hours to read so I didn’t have to read any news tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can Cam score like 3 more times to save me from my own dumb self?

Fronkenshteen

Beer is so much better than milk.

Recovery Whiskey

Funny how Cam looks good now and Brady sucks

Fronkenshteen

BLAME BELICHICK’S SON, YA FUCK YA!!!

Recovery Whiskey

East is east and west is west and never the Swain shall meet

Senor Weaselo

Except the Prime Meridian and the International Dateline, of course.

Recovery Whiskey

Holy shit our air isnt full of smoke

TheRevanchist

Thanks to Nano-Bubble technology!

litre_cola

Ours is.

Doktor Zymm

Interesting twist on Fantasy Football. Instead of picking a team, each team is made up of all the players who have gone elsewhere from a particular team. So there would be a team of ex-Eagles, a team of ex-Donks, a team of ex-Teamers, etc.

Senor Weaselo

I got dibs on the ex-Parrots.

Doktor Zymm
Recovery Whiskey

In baseball the former Mariners are formidable

Recovery Whiskey

The Seattle Sounders of MLS play on this turf which might be inspiring New England to lay down and fake injuries

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Any team named for the act of shoving things into your urethra has to be tough

rockingdog
Brocky

I’ll always upvote mid 2000s J-pop.

anime nerd brocky was a thing

Brocky

His buddy Bubba was a shrimp loving man!

His friend with no legs he called Litunent Dan!

Brocky

pic

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King Hippo

WE-UH NEED TAWWWMY BACK. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!

Doktor Zymm

1 TD, 1 int and 1 fumbaroo lost is better! Woo!

Am I doing it right?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Newton returns to form.

litre_cola

Camception.