Your “It’s A Facial Hair Foofaraw!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

A special/limited edition Pepsi can goes to the winner! That strikes me as a half-decent marketing gimmick-good job soul-less international corporation.

I wasn’t too happy drafting 5th in a couple of leagues this year but it turns out it was one of a few sweet spots this year considering who has gone down to injury. You weren’t high enough to grab Saquon/McCaffrey and not low enough to be enticed by Thomas. Sometimes the sun shines on this old man’s arsehole.

TO THE GAME!

Fins/Jags:

-The Jags are the youngest team in the league at 24.9 years. If Miami didn’t have Fitz they would be the youngest. That tends to happen when you jettison all your assets for draft picks I guess.

-The Fins are without wins this year but not by design so there’s a bit of grumbling amongst the faithful. But last week’s game was going fine until cb Byron Jones went down and was replaced by the youngest player in the league (wish me luck spelling this)  last of the first rounder’s cb Igbinoghene. Diggs went a-feasting and the game turned. Sometimes it’s that simple.

-You do want to keep an eye out for  6’1″, 230 pound rook “plays all the skill positions” Laviska Shenault though. He’s an entertaining player that runs in a violent fashion and he gets the ball all over the field. His problem in college was staying healthy and so far so good.

-The over/under on this is 49 and the Jags can’t pressure the qb yet and Miami gives up the most yards per play two weeks in.

-Minshew has been exceptionally efficient with a 75% completion rate, a 7.9 yards per attempt and 6 TD’s to boot. His only two interceptions came on a batted pass at the line of scrimmage and rook wr trying to catch a pass that was not meant for him.

-Fantasy sweetheart come-lately is UDFA rb James Robinson who had 120 combined yards and a score. Good for him.

Well, that was my best effort to make this game look good. I actually do think it will be entertaining however. Go get ’em!

 

5 7 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
436 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

For some reason, I always dug this tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpcc43NV394

Brick Meathook

You never seemed gay to me before.

JustStopDude

comment image

That penalty, as remembered by the ref, in gif format and A Minor.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder what Arnold’s clever bon mot was after that one…

Unsurprised

It’s from Last Action Hero, so it was probably dogshit.

Unsurprised

Oh Jesus Christ. It’s worse than I thought.

“Iced that guy!”

Gatoraids

Nice of the NBA to lend some officials to the game

WCS

ALL PRAISE BLEERGH

King Hippo

LEAVE GASKIN IN

WCS

comment image

Stoopid call, regardless.

Col. Duke LaCross

The shame with these socks is the one on the left is never the right length. One day it is up to your knees like a geriatric Floridian, the next time you wear them, they are ankle socks.

Then, one day you are down to your last pair, you pull these out and they fit perfect.

Just enough to make you keep them around for another week and not just trade them in for a pair of Calvin Klein’s.

200B023D-F417-4AB8-877D-74260C483FC6.jpeg
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t think I’ve worn a pair of socks more than a half dozen times in the last 9 months.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Sharkbait

This does not bode well for my Jags cover

Game Time Decision

Ejection. Wooohoo

Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sudden change! Well, not really a change at 21-7.

litre_cola

Really hope I still have money in my Gamblor account for Donks Jests next week. With no incentive that would be unbearable.

King Hippo

Robinson is new MJD. Same “bowling ball” effect

litre_cola

Was going to ask why you are awake and then realized you have all the FF players right now.

King Hippo

I goes to bed early last night. Gimme all yer FITBAW!!!

SonOfSpam

He like boys too?

(Unless you’re not talking about Michael Jackson’s Dick but why wouldn’t you be?)

King Hippo

Tee hee!

Brick Meathook

comment image

litre_cola

My legal stream is glitchy but hantavirus stream is no problems…

Sharkbait

Ad blockers and hantavirus stream go!

litre_cola

This is why I have a gamblor problem. I was watching a game in Moldova and bitching to Hippo all day that they couldn’t handle a fucking Irish team….

Sharkbait

I’m not quite there yet, but living close to where it is legal is tempting as all hell

litre_cola

Oh it makes the work day from home entertaining. 10 bucks on a team from Moldova!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Biden ad in TX.

JustStopDude

comment image

WCS

Not as damaging as the gender reveal in California Bay Area…..

JustStopDude

comment image

Game Time Decision

Been there

litre_cola

Solid hustle right there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, good reaction time.

SonOfSpam

Pukeanormal Activity.

WCS

Ryan Fitzpatrick will be 38 next month, Troy? Well, I turned 38 this month, and, no, I don’t have a degree from Harvard, but, I do have one from Penn…. so, piss off, I guess? I got nothing.

King Hippo

You ain’t seem like no Quaker smh

SonOfSpam

Neither did Nixon, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Unsurprised

A Harvard quarterback shouldn’t be able to last 38 games in the NFL, let alone make it to 38 years old. This is obscene.

SonOfSpam

Big deal. You got into the same school as Trump.

WCS

comment image

Dammit. I know.

King Hippo

I absolutely would not have gotten into an Ivy. But, I also had no interest in sommet even more douchey than law skool.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was accepted at Pepperdine Malibu back in 1976, which is kind of an elite West Coast mini-ivy. Glad I did not go, as it is a right wing/Christian haven, which I did not know about at the time as a kid. I just wanted to hang at the beach. What could be cooler than college in a beach community.comment image

litre_cola

I have put together that both of these defenses are fucking awful.

Unsurprised

They’d be better off just playing dirty as fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

I am getting tired…
comment image

JustStopDude

Man I needed that…
comment image

JimU

I swear five years ago, the Jags and Titans played every other Thursday night. This game reminds me of that.

Last edited 4 years ago by JimU
Recovery Whiskey

Clipboard Jesus Charlie Whitehurst had a great mustache too

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Mandatory plug:

This Week in HRTN: Brocky hits a rock, Balls takes Kamchatka, and a new DFOer (finally) shows up!

SonOfSpam

Kamchatka the place or Kamchatka the really shit vodka?

litre_cola

Spam I would drink vodka with you in Kamchatka while playing Risk if that helps.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Takes notes

SonOfSpam

Ok, I’m free (checks calendar) every day from now until the end of time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

AMERICA FUCK YEAH!

Unsurprised

To quote Sam Kinison, “BRING BACK OUR FUCKING FLAG!”

Brick Meathook

Because “America.” Christ, does this even need to be explained?

It’s like what was said of the British Empire: “They lost every battle except the last one.” The United States formally took over the choice parts of the British Empire after World war II.

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

What is this Commie crap

Viva La Tabula Raza

Please ignore. Planted by Ukraine to help Democrats.
—V. Putin

litre_cola

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

My favorite bus stop

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam
Game Time Decision

why not just go for it on 4th down there?

Recovery Whiskey

Juuuuuust a bit offside

King Hippo

WE NEED FAIR CATCH FREE KICK

Recovery Whiskey

Can any of you Admins or normies suggest why the image I uploaded for an avatar pic won’t show? It says it updated but no joy.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Did you complete the blood sacrifice?

SonOfSpam

Is that where you’re on your period and you wear white capris but use a Kleenex instead of a tampon?

Recovery Whiskey

I hit save image. Guess that wasn’t enough

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wasn’t this a gravatar problem?

Or send cash and Rikki will fix it.

Cash goes to me though.

Game Time Decision

Its broken somewhere. I’ve updated mine but the old image still shows. No idea how

litre_cola

Totally a gravatar wordpress issue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s because you touch yourself.

Sharkbait

Still hope for the Jags to cover…right?

/opens more vodka

litre_cola

comment image

litre_cola

As someone with the under, I appreciate all of this dumbfuckery at the end.

King Hippo

Somebody page Wakey and see if this makes up for that United/Palace tilt over the weekend.

Recovery Whiskey

Minshew got Gardenered

JustStopDude

Its so weird to see a white QB run. Its like the anti Lamar Jackson.

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

litre_cola

People get off on this?

King Hippo

Also, where is Wa-Luigi? Plebians.

Recovery Whiskey

Rule 34 is real

Redshirt

Props to you 2020. I did not see this one coming. And neither did Peach or Bowsette.

Recovery Whiskey

Big Minshew Mania on that one

Last edited 4 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
litre_cola

DONKS V JESTS FEEL IT!!!!

Gatoraids

Broncos Jets only on Guantanamo Bay Network

Redshirt

Mammal fish good or Florida Team #3 bad? Also, how did Florida end up with three teams?

Recovery Whiskey

Guessing hanging chads were involved

JustStopDude

It was to prevent the Browns from getting a Superbowl.

Rather than give Baltimore an expansion team, the NFL deemed a third team that can’t get fans in the flaccid penis state made more sense.

So Ozzie when to Baltimore and the rest is history. Drunken, rage inducing history.

Recovery Whiskey

And thus the Factory of Sadness was planned.

Don T

I quit cigs a week and a half ago. The worst cravings come with anger.
Baker Mayfield ads are atop my shit list.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’re a little bit snappy in HRTN tomorrow, which now makes sense.

Redshirt

Good for you. You picked the wrong year, but good for you.

JustStopDude

I had to finally quit in February.

Between covid and already once having TB, I had to finally give it up.

I still get blinding cravings from time to time. My Browns…are certainly a common trigger.

Redshirt

My mom enjoyed quitting because she quit four times. But her last time has lasted for 18 years and counting.

You’ll get past the cravings.

JustStopDude

I’m keeping them in check with a little crack from time to time.

litre_cola

I am cutting down by 1 a day per week right now. Don’t smoke when wife is around. Down to 7 a day. Next week 6.

Last edited 4 years ago by litre_cola
Recovery Whiskey

Congrats. From a fellow quitter

litre_cola

Uggh, I have to do that soon.

JustStopDude

How does Fitzpatrick not get the shit fined out of his ass every single game? I have never seen a single play where he has his chin strap in place. Every time he gets touched, his helmet nearly flies off his head.

If a running back has a his socks not pulled up all the way, the NFL takes money. He isn’t wearing his safety gear correctly. Its kind of crazy they ignore this.

SonOfSpam

Probably because of the little-known fact that he went to Harvard.

litre_cola

Wait, did he also catch fish in Seattle?

Recovery Whiskey

Looks more like an Oregon logger tbh

JustStopDude

Never mind. I guess it was just that one play. I swear though every game I see him in, his helmet always looks like its flying off.

Recovery Whiskey

Hows this showdown of future HoF QB so far?

litre_cola

Totally read that at Austin Autistic.

WCS

Not happy Patric Hornqvist is no longer a Penguin.

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
WCS

Okay, what’s happening here?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know, penguins mate for life

JustStopDude

Oh my…a game just broke out in Florida.

JustStopDude

Name another team in the NFL right now that is even getting close to their stadium attendance average?

The Jags are surpassing their tonight.

WCS

I’m losing whatever is left of my brain. I was very looking forward to Stanley Cup Final hockey tonight.

I guess I’ll listen to Rush to feed my Canadian craving.

Gatoraids

Better catch it with Rush before develops into fulll blown The Tragically Hip

litre_cola

The Hip > Rush IMO

herodotus450

Durham Smythe’s auto gets 1 miles per gaskin and that’s the way he likes it; now, revulcanize his tyres!

JustStopDude

That was a hell of a catch.

WCS

comment image

What’s up?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait, there’s a game tonight? Or does this not really count as football?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image