Your “I’ve Got Your Round Two Right Here, Buddy” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Five games to choose from! Let’s do this!

TO THE GAMES!

Jets/Colts:

“WILL COACH GASE MAKE IT TO WK. 8?” I mean, he’s gotta be the first guy shown the door, right? Between his own gase-ness and the injury bug taking up residence at the training facility he’s got a hard kettle of fish to row. Perpetual Tiger Beat coverboy Jonathan Taylor Thomas is ready to break tween girl’s hearts and the spirit of the Jets D.

Panthers/Chargers:

LA’S QB LOSES HIS JOB TO TEAM’S DOCTOR is what the headlines should have read. There’s no truth to the rumour that said doc was seen accepting a fat envelope from Justin Herbert’s agent in a dark alley at midnight. It was actually done thru Paypal in the middle of the workday.

Bucs/Broncs:

Denver has the 3rd most snaps taken by rookies and that will only increase as K.J. Hamler subs for Sutton. On tudder side, Jeudy leads the league in dropped passes with three.

Lions/Cards:

There was all kinds of talk on Giants boards about shoring up the secondary by drafting Isaiah Simmons because he was a ‘do everything’ sort of player. Well, the Cards ended up taking him and inserting into the lineup right away. He did some things for sure, including giving up 3 catches for 86 yards and 2 TD’s. Last week he played all of 7 snaps.

Cowboys/Seahawks:

This is the barnburner most folks’ll be fixated on. Whoever is playing slot for Dallas will feast because Seattle cb Ugo Amadi is surrendering an 80% catch rate so far this year. Who does he think he is, Buster Skrine? smh…

Do as you do below.

 

 

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Recovery Whiskey

Dak erception!

Gratliff

If the Cowboys lose this game, the NFC East will be 2-9-1 as a whole, which seems better than they deserve.

King Hippo

imagine if y’all didn’t take the point today!

Gratliff

It would mean that they’ve gone 1-3, 1-3, 0-3-1. It would actually be getting worse!

King Hippo

Seriously, your goal should be to rack up as many Draws as possible

Horatio Cornblower

Just went to the driving range, for the first time in years, because my son has recently taken up golf, and I am happy to announce that neither of us will be playing Augusta any time soon.

And on that note…Hello (invisible) friends

Mr. Ayo

Money, not talent, determines who plays there.

Horatio Cornblower

Well it that case you….no, no, doesn’t change anything.

Fronkenshteen

HUMPS!

yeah right

If I had the energy left I would go on an 0-3 rant.
Instead maybe we should tank for Trevor.
I’m sick of seeing that dipshit as my teams QB.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

ook

Recovery Whiskey

Lmao at burning 45 seconds on a fake fourth down go for it while McCarthy stands there

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood
King Hippo

Humble folks without temptation!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Listen pal, it is a bit of a drive from South Park, have some appreciation.

Covalent Blonde

Tell me more about how hard this division is, Adam Amin, tell it to my NFC West face!

Recovery Whiskey

Dallas seems committed to getting more penalties than Seattle.

King Hippo

They achieved their peak at Inverse Leon Lett, why keep playing after that?

Romonobyl

Dallas with yet another soul-crushing penalty on defense nowhere near the ball.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Next quarterback for…..

King Hippo

I bet McManus would be fun at QB.

Covalent Blonde

I am soooooooo excited for this next season of Fargo. Enough that I almost want to pretend like I will have time to watch it

King Hippo

oh WOW, this is the bestest news I have heard. When does it start??

Covalent Blonde

Allegedly tonight, methinks

King Hippo

Huzzah GOOD SNAIL – my DVR is engaged!!

yeah right

Concur. It’s tonight. Lovecraft Country is opposite and equally worthy of your eyeballs.

Romonobyl

That’s why I like YouTube TV…unlimited DVR capacity.

ballsofsteelandfury

You can remember the 90s? That’s pretty good!

Covalent Blonde

*finger guns*

ballsofsteelandfury

Great minds.

Covalent Blonde

1993 wasn’t that long ago

Recovery Whiskey

— jerry’s escorts

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Does Thor have four nipples?

Covalent Blonde

I mean, Thor’s lady friend is spilling out enough that she has four boobs, so I feel like that’s an appropriate number of nipples

Romonobyl

Considering how tight his britches look those are probably his nuts.

Recovery Whiskey

Dallas kicker FULL DERP

Spur

This Seattle Secondary has more leaks then a CIA black site guarding a free energy machine.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

–B. Walsh

Gratliff

/unmute

[joe buck noises]

/mute

King Hippo

That’s me whenever RedZone goes to the Donks’ puppy abortion.

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck yeah!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

This actually looks pretty tasty:
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ArmedandHammered

The yellow meal,

Last edited 4 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Gratliff

Mexican inspired kraft mac and cheese = 1 tsp chili powder

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood

The Aztec pyramid really puts over the Mexican Inspiration

ArmedandHammered

lol, did not even see that, well if you eat too much of this stuff, they will have to rip your chest open to get to your heart.

Game Time Decision

Canadian Fear Factor entry

Covalent Blonde

My favourite part of that is confirming the mild chili sauce

Gratliff

Lions have like a 95% chance of losing this. They’ve been doing the falcons schtick much better than the Falcons themselves.

Romonobyl

Dallas is determined to dumbass themselves away from a win, nobody does it better.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Atlanta Falcons would like a word, good sir!

Romonobyl

Also true, but Dallas wins for consistency.

ArmedandHammered

Philly and Atlanta, would like a word.

Last edited 4 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Gratliff

False start then delay of game on a 59 yard field goal attempt

Spur

This is the way.

Game Time Decision

its the McCarthy effect

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle defense: hold my beer

Covalent Blonde

I, too, try to use the opponent’s helmet, head, and shoulders as part of my catching platform. Outstanding, TB.

Recovery Whiskey

Touchdown Hox

Covalent Blonde

I know it has been two hours already, but can I just say out loud how relieved I am that the Meadowlands didn’t destroy the Niners’ bench again? Like I find myself just breathing a sigh of relief still.

Recovery Whiskey

DPI

Gratliff

Yeah, I got PTSD: Philly Teams Suck Dick.

Gratliff

why are they like this
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-partner=”tweetdeck”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Carson Wentz says he understands Doug's decision to punt at the end of OT, but adds tying is a &quot;frustrating way to end the game.&quot; <br><br>Wentz doesn't think he's ever ended a game in a tie before.<a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/FlyEaglesFly?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#FlyEaglesFly</a><a href=”https://twitter.com/FOX29philly?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>@FOX29philly</a> <a href=”https://t.co/xEp1vNIX2S”>pic.twitter.com/xEp1vNIX2S</a></p>&mdash; Kristen Rodgers (@KristenERodgers) <a href=”https://twitter.com/KristenERodgers/status/1310331447476187136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 27, 2020</a></blockquote>

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

I thought he was going after the pic of the tennis ball on the box.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Either way.

Spur

The rookie Diggs is playing well.

Beerguyrob

“45!” “47!”

Is Brady calling out the ages of Belichick’s MILFs?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Covalent Blonde

Orrrr…. they have the best translator already?

Recovery Whiskey

Guessing his own retirement age

Unsurprised

I want to see him explode on the field

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rodrigo Blankenship looks like he was recruited to football by an “innovative” coach plucking european soccer players.

Spur

am making a drink. get anyone something?

Mr. Ayo

Bottle of freezer vodka please.

Covalent Blonde

Three different bottles waiting for your here in Tahoe

Mr. Ayo

On my way.

Covalent Blonde

Chavela, medium spice, with Tajin on the rim? I have to try to hide my Canadian amongst my California right now.

Game Time Decision

OV or export

Game Time Decision

touché. And yuck

litre_cola

You Ontario guys are weird, Black Label or Club please.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Got a hotshot of heroin handy?

Covalent Blonde

Second. I second that.

ArmedandHammered

Big bag of cherry flavored edibles?

litre_cola

I have some of those!

ArmedandHammered

Do you ship. Stupid NC is so backwards. One of the reasons to retire to a state where it is legal.

litre_cola

I sent some cookies to TWBS a few years back….

ArmedandHammered

You are a good man. As my wife takes “officer of the court” thing seriously, I dare not transgress. She is a Catholic raised Jew so she has enough guilt to deal with.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have plenty of beer, but what pairs best with hobo?

Beerguyrob

¡SPONCH!

Recovery Whiskey

Double bourbon neat

ArmedandHammered

I should have a Bortles jersey made, the team wouldn’t matter because nobody could be sure if he played for them or not.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I would think the same logic could be applied to Fitzmagic.

Covalent Blonde

I feel like even that is a generous appraisal of his performance thus far

Covalent Blonde

One of the most shameful things about me: I once kayaked from Grand Marais, MN to Thunder Bay, ON to smuggle back a jar of “KD Shaker” so that I could have an unlimited supply of powdered cheese in the US

Last edited 4 years ago by Covalent Blonde
Covalent Blonde

Nothing like paddling my ass off through some frigid shipping channels with a dry bag of Rose tea and KD cheese, filled with an earned sense of victory!

Redshirt

That’s accurate. He’s just good enough for a roster spot but that’s it.

Redshirt

Dallas@Seattle viewers watching this game:
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Spur

Keep your baseball away from my Football. I don’t even want to be reminded of a bunch of 50 year old white man watching a bunch of Cubans scratch their balls for 4 hours while bitching about unwritten rules to the game.

Redshirt

Okay, I’ll talk about the GOP’s ramming in the Supreme Court nomination another time.

Recovery Whiskey

Baseball and Republican politics. Both favored by 57 yo rural white guys.

herodotus450

Gotta say, Canada’s fascination with “Kraft Dinner” kind’ve offsets all the good maple syrup and socialism parts.

Covalent Blonde

Shut yer whore mouth! It is the way some of us survived Albertan winters and it has made us stronger fundamentally. No matter how long I have been away, I insist on having a Blue Box in my house at all times

litre_cola

I also always have a box in the cupboard.

Game Time Decision

Crap dinner is OK as a kid but as you get older I think you grow out of it
No longer have any in the house

Last edited 4 years ago by Game Time Decision
Covalent Blonde

I mean, it’s not a thing I am proud of, but I have finished more than one 16-hour shift too exhausted to cry or shower to settle into a warm bowl of Kraft Dinner mediocrity in a way that definitely made me feel wrapped in the chalky arms of cheese powder love more than any human I have ever known

Game Time Decision

awww. And understand that feeling just not with KD

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well said. *golf clap*

Spur

Glory boy receiver

Beerguyrob

“Vindication!”

—Leon Lett

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood

Leon Lett

Spur

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JustStopDude

METCALF LOL WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?!?!?

Recovery Whiskey

DK Metcalf with the full derp

JimU

There’s the Laserface float we all know.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It

— B. Walsh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Must be wet to be relevant these days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JimU

Geez Falcons, I haven’t seen a choke job that bad since David Carradine.

ballsofsteelandfury

Honestly, we should be used to it by now. I’m surprised the logo hasn’t been changed to this:
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Recovery Whiskey

Michael Hutchence has entered the chat

Game Time Decision

ngbp doink. Haha

Recovery Whiskey

Doink

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

Spur

Alright, Cowboys appear to be awake for the 1st half.