Your “Hold Your Nose, Keep Your Eyes Peeled” Sunday Later Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Gotta love it when the 4 o’clock game is a stinker but it involves your team. I have you all (mostly) to myself. And if I could borrow from Hippo’s London football vernacular-“IT’S MANDATORY VIEWING!” But if it’s a nice fall day (parts of Texas excluded) take advantage of it, there may not be more of them available.

TO THE GAMES!

Fins/Niners:

Is San Franny committed to the run? They’ve only thrown to wr’s 53 times in four games. If anyone should be making that dumb ‘feed me’ gesture it should be Peabo Bryson, Bourne, Aiyuk and those others dudes. Kittles will always get his but the Fins have only given up 116 yards to that spot. That said, they’ve not seen anyone near the caliber of Boy George so this is the first real test.

Colts/Browns:

Stefanski has become a fan of rollouts-after not calling any the first week he’s dialed up 14 so far and Mayfield has turned it into a signature play. He’s 13-14 for 158 yards and 2 TD’s on the play-look for more today. It’ll be interesting to see how the Browns will handle an Indy D after rolling up 49 points on the Cowboys last week. The Colts defend outside the numbers very well so maybe look for crossers, pick plays and such.

Giants/Cowboys:

The Giants hoped that the drafting of Andrew Thomas would be a ‘plug, play and forget about it’ scenario but the big dude is struggling just like everyone else on the line. Accustomed to being larger and more physically talented than his opponent, Thomas has discovered that shoddy technique gets exploited when you play the best of the best. If the Giants aren’t able to put up some scores (they haven’t gotten a TD in their last 2 games) vs. a Dallas D that generates pressure only 27% of the time when they rush the passer, it’ll be a long year indeed. Can’t help but think the Cowboys smash here.

Feel free to comment on the awfulness provided.

 

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Doktor Zymm

I just realized I can roast beets in the slow cooker. HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS EARLIER!?

blaxabbath

Book smart

Beerguyrob

Because Costco sells them in convenient packages?

Horatio Cornblower

This has been 5 1/2 minutes of the dumbest football I’ve ever seen.

blaxabbath

See you in 90 secs for the 7 minute milestone.

Horatio Cornblower

What is Romo looking at? That’s the most blatant pick I’ve ever seen.

blaxabbath

I saw the video of him “dragging it” after that soaring high pick JOE three and the associated Twitter remarks. You’re going to get mad at the guy for allowing another— what? ten yards? — on a return rather than risk injury?

A.J. needs to Megatron right on out of there.

Beerguyrob

Enjoying the FOX announcer blaming Beathard for getting sacked, like blaming the victim for getting mugged.

Unsurprised

Fox being Fox

Horatio Cornblower

Did you see the way Beathard was dressed? Wearing that red-and-gold combo; he was just asking for it.

blaxabbath

“He knows how handsy defenders are!”

litre_cola

Is one of the Browns WR group training to be a barber? Most of the lads have real interesting coloUrs and cuts going on.

Gatoraids

Just the water from the River

litre_cola

If we could have a Khunt injury that would be very good.

Horatio Cornblower

Is it that time of the month already?

blaxabbath

SF’s crowd size looks deserving of a home team getting blown out.

But this way Jed York doesn’t get their money.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t set up 3rd and 5 without those 3 yards, that’s just math.

herodotus450

Someday NFL stadium designers will discover the modern miracle that is curtains.

Gatoraids

Not tacky enough for Jerrah

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Sharkbait

2 more catches for Tate. Come on!

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys just went from a near-certain sack to giving up 12 yards and a first down.

Promising start to the half, that.

Redshirt

I’m not sure I’m ready to live in a world where the Browns are 4-1.

litre_cola

Oh they can surely piss this away.

Doktor Zymm

Last time was 1994 I think?

Redshirt

Confirmed. They went 6-1.

blaxabbath

No bragging but my Browns posts have been predicting this 2020 run for years.

Horatio Cornblower

If they were ever gonna do it, it would be in a season that seems to have about 3 weeks left to it.

Don T

Brown games are entertaining. We gotta take what we can get.
Unrelated: Local affiliates show Browns and THE FACKEN JEST.

Mother Puncher

I live in the country where I pick up three CBS stations. Would be nice if they weren’t all playing the same game

blaxabbath

This is why I only watch Fox News! Plus, no kneeling FROM PATRIOTS!

herodotus450

Cleveland just gave up possibly the last kickoff return for a touchdown in NFL history.

Doktor Zymm

If you had told me a couple of hours ago that I would get home in time to catch the second half of the late games and the only one staying competitive enough to keep watching was the NFC EAST SOMEONE HAS TO WIN PROBABLY game I would not have believed you

Doktor Zymm

Maybe Indy will make a comeback in the Shitty Flyover Cities of the Midwest Bowl

Gatoraids

When the Thursday night game isnt trash you know week is going to be wierd

Horatio Cornblower

Red Rocket sighting!
/stops petting dog

Oh and hey, Andy Dalton.

Redshirt

Is it too early to go from:

“When do they pull Fitzpatrick for Tua?”

to

“Will they ever pull Fitzpatrick for Tua?”

Horatio Cornblower

As usual, the older white guy with the Harvard degree gets the benefit of the doubt over the younger minority with the state school degree.

Gatoraids

Floatception

Redshirt

Really? No one? Okay….

49ers pulled Garoppolo for Beathard because Garoppolo was getting beat hard.

Beerguyrob

Sorry – family is visiting. Not on top of things.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, so THAT’s how KC lost. Raiders….no sucky?

Gratliff

There are some Philly Special truthers on Twitter angry that New England isn’t getting credit for using the play first in the NFL and it’s delicous

Horatio Cornblower

Schroedinger’s Catch

Doktor Zymm

Just got back from horseback riding, and what even is going on here? And wtf happened in the second half of the early games?!

Horatio Cornblower

What a score by the Cowboys, but have they left too much time for Danny Johahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh man, almost got through that.

Gratliff

It’s funny how NFC East vs. NFC East looks like a real live NFL game as opposed to every other team they play against

Doktor Zymm

It’s like how high school games can be really competitive and interesting

Don T

With a Clots AFC South title, Rivers could win Comeback Player of the Year. If he brings up his game to Brock Osweiler levels.

Last edited 3 years ago by Don T
Gratliff

He’s already planning the first round loss

Horatio Cornblower

He certainly isn’t doing any family planning, amirite?

litre_cola

His wife must have a rest stop inside of her for all the chlluns’ journeys out.

Gatoraids

California just lucky he had most of the kids before gender reveal parties

Horatio Cornblower

How is Cee Dee Lamb not dead?

Horatio Cornblower

Is Amari Cooper dead, or just not getting any attention?

King Hippo

TRICKERATION!!

/BLEERGH says nah

Sharkbait

Trickey wiped out by derpitude.

Horatio Cornblower

Of course the Giants fucked that up. Of course they did.

Sharkbait

TRICKERY!

King Hippo

Is Dak! the only NFC East quartered back who isn’t functionally ret…Special Young Man??

Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys are gonna miss him when he goes somewhere else, purely out of spite, next season.

Doktor Zymm

I’m just sad he won’t get a Kirk Cousins style payday, despite being better than Kirk Cousins

Gratliff

I’m entirely too petty to admit this is true and will say they are equally bad instead unless Dak ends up in midnight green

Unsurprised

I love it when players get big paydays, except for Dreamboat. Everyone else – get money.

Don T

Bad Bunny Corona ad feat. Snoop. I approve.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GtSRKwDCaZM

King Hippo

That sure is one slippery KHunt.

blaxabbath

I find this whole Denver shooting situation so fascinating.

Horatio Cornblower

Who knew that Pinkertons were still a thing?

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
blaxabbath

1st I ever heard the name.

Gratliff

I did! Wait until 50 years from now when a group mows down a town and it turns out they’re the 50th incarnation of Blackwater which is currently operating under the brand name “Academi”.

Gratliff

Actually, I’m wrong. They changed from that to Constellis Holdings now.

Unsurprised

Even the dumb shits who work for the company (and the company that owns it) didn’t even realize its own notorious past. Not that it bothered them any, the cunts.

Gratliff

slant for first, slant for first, slant for first. They should maybe defend the slant routes.

Mr. Ayo

Bill Parcells would never let that stand.

Horatio Cornblower

/Horatio walks into the clubhouse, having made a pizza run

“Hey guys, how’s the Giants-Cowboys game go…”
comment image/revision/latest?cb=20130211175356

Gatoraids

Zymm when she checks the Niners score

Last edited 3 years ago by Gatoraids
Gratliff

Mike McCarthy doing everything in his power to make sure the Eagles maintain their division leading 1 win and 1 tie

Horatio Cornblower

I was out walking the dog with extended family and one of my friends, a psychotic Cowboys fan, called up enraged that the Cowboys had kicked an early FG instead of going for it and I just said “It’s Mike McCarthy. It’s what he does.”

blaxabbath

More rings than Princeton.

Horatio Cornblower

Aaron Rodgers in his prime, and McCarthy got one ring.

That said, I do not miss Princeton at all, that clown.

Gratliff

Goddamn, Danny Jones sucks

Horatio Cornblower

You spelled ‘Dave Gettleman’ wrong

Gratliff

Just logging back in to see if Jim Schwartz still has a job

rockingdog

dude
SF are getting stomped by the fins

blaxabbath

Jed York

Mr. Ayo

Put in Beat Hard!

Recovery Whiskey

Another Jimmyception

King Hippo

DAL/NYG needs to be a Draw.

Sharkbait

There are a few certainties in life: Death, Taxes, Daniel Jones losing a fumble

Unsurprised

What a shitshow

Viva La Tabula Raza

SUDDEN CHANGE IN BIG D!

Gatoraids

Giants O is the Blue pill for your D