Your “Another One?!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Look, I’m sure this game won’t be nearly as fine a spectacle as the Thursday Night Mega Tilt Of All Fixtures, Giants/Eagles!!! but let’s try to make the best of it. Just like I’m trying to make the best of a situation-there is a plumber in my house as I type. (halftime of the first game) He’s ‘fixing things’ and ‘asking me questions I don’t know the answer to’ and ‘questioning my masculinity’. I put on pants for this? He’s not the least bit interested in wearing a mask but a man with his skillset is a somewhat rare commodity in this town, so wadda ya gonna do? You’re gonna watch a game, that’s what you’re going to do.

TO THE GAME!

Cards/Cowboys:

-The Mighty Red Rocket grabs hold of this magnificent O and… well, let’s see what happens. Plenty of imagineers think that he’ll succeed in this spot-his triumvirate of wr’s and his rb are nothing like anything he’s had to work with the last few years.

-This is really a game about defensive futility on both sides-Dallas is 20th vs the pass and 28th vs the run. Yeah!, Vander Esch is back but whatever…

-In signing Zeke the Boys had to let Byron Jones fly away and opposing qb’s have a 141 rating when they go long. The Cards? They have the least amount of takeaways in the league.

-Three of five teams that have played Dallas have had a receiver catch 2 TD’s.

Will we get a high-scoring game that offsets this (so far) low-scoring Chiefs/Bills doozy? Let’s watch and see. Comment as you see fit.

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King Hippo

Wow, this is a game that is happening.

Recovery Whiskey

The mistake-a-thon continues

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus what a shitshow.

Unsurprised

Scratch that. I’ll do better.

Last edited 4 years ago by Unsurprised
Gratliff

Derrrrp

Recovery Whiskey

So do Cincinnati fans know of 3 ways Dalton sucks, or 5 ways?

Redshirt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinnati_chili#The_%22way%22_system

No, its the rare 6-way, as it leave a bad taste in your mouth that ruins everything involved in it.

Spur

And just imagine the Cowboys could have hired Eric Bieniemy instead of that fat hump

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, hits out of bounds don;t count when you’re still in the air.

Doktor Zymm

That explains the guy in a jetpack around LAX, he’s just getting in some out of bounds hits

Gratliff

Andy Dalton throws a should-be pick every drive.

rockingdog

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Unsurprised

In Phoenix, the water tastes like dirt. In Dallas, everything tastes like ass.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Except ass. Ass tastes like black licorice in Dallas.

Doktor Zymm

Shouldn’t it taste like Daal? Hence Daalass

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve never been to India, never had it. Sri Lanka once, but it was a short liberty and I just got drunk instead of eating.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Horatio Cornblower

One of these days I’m gonna get around to napalming Augusta National.

“Hello, friends” WHOOOOOOOSH!!!

Redshirt

Dennis Gardeck, I call him the Luftwaffe, because while that blitz looked impressive, it failed to achieve any success.

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

I am into the margaritas. I repeat, I am into the margaritas!

Spur

on the rocks or frozen?

Horatio Cornblower

On the rocks, of course. I am not a goddamn Philistine.

Doktor Zymm

In that case I won’t ask about salt, I will just assume you are doing it correctly

Horatio Cornblower

I have this week off, but your idea is not far off my actual approach to litigation.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve always said Larry Fitzgerald was a damn dirty player
/I have never said or even thought that. Larry Fitz is a national treasure.

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like we’re in for a zebra fest

Sharkbait

BLEERGH be praised

Dunstan

Admittedly I haven’t watched a lot of football this season, but I have yet to see a safety this year. Come on, Dalton!

Doktor Zymm

Awww, disappoint 🙁

TheRevanchist

Almost. He did a good job of avoiding it and avoiding a penalty, as well, considering that dude had him dead to rights.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looked to me like his forward progress had been stopped before he chucked the ball.. Shoulda been a safety.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m really surprised ‘in the grasp’ wasn’t called.

Dunstan

“I thought it was.” — Jeffrey Toobin

Horatio Cornblower

I recently had my shirt off when an attorney came on early for a call and I thought the camera was off, but I cannot imagine the thought process behind “I should rub one out now, while I’m juggling a call with my co-workers with a second computer showing porn”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I am mostly concerned about leaving my bag o’ weed and pipe laying around.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
TheRevanchist

There is a reason CBs don’t make good WRs.

Redshirt

BWHAHAHAHAHAH!

Watching Dalton play is much funner when he’s not your team’s QB!

Horatio Cornblower

I need 16 points from 4 Cowboy offensive players and looking at Dalton I don’t think I’m going to get them.

Sharkbait

I need 25 from Lamb and Zeke. I feel you

Horatio Cornblower

Until some point last Sunday it would have been a gimme. Now? Not so much.

Sharkbait

That play was “anything you can herp, I can derp better” personified.

Spur

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Brocky

evening

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Horatio Cornblower

Just have to make an entrance, don’t you?

Horatio Cornblower

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Dunstan

Hey-uh-na-na-na, hey-uh-a-ni-ya!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Lotta detail. Did you guys sit down and shoot the shit while you split a sixer after the job was done?

Recovery Whiskey

Russell Wilson’s 2nd year was the SB win. No pressure Murray.

Spur

is Kyler Murray what Manziel was suppose to be?

Horatio Cornblower

Drunk?

Redshirt

Overrated?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Coked to the gills? Nah, that’s Jerrah.

Downfield Matriculator

Angel in the Streets, Devil in the Sheets?

/I may be posting to the wrong thread

TheRevanchist

[Balls to face joke]

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Emphasizing where the Cowboys are going to be taking it for the rest of the season.

TheRevanchist

Her hair seems a little greasy. She probably uses a cheap 2-in-1 like Pert Plus.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn hussy.

Redshirt

A opening three-and-out. There’s the Dalton I know!

rockingdog

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ArmedandHammered

I said get me a toilet pLuNger!

TheRevanchist

Oh, shit! And pee.

Spur

I must be high as fuck because i just saw the Dallas Defense cause a 3 and out.

Redshirt

Jones: “Are you ready to be my starting quarterback?”

Dalton: “Yes.”

Jones: “Will you give your body for my team?”

Dalton: “Yes.”

Jones: “Will you give your heart for my team?”

Dalton: “Yes.”

Jones: “Will you give your soul for my team?”

Dalton: “My what?”

ArmedandHammered

I thought this was going to be some weird take off of Meatloaf’s “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I bet you say that to all the ‘Boys.”

Horatio Cornblower

Never mind Andy Dalton’s shoes, Dak Prescott would just be happy to be wearing any shoes right now.

Spur

He can afford two lefts

Last edited 4 years ago by Spur
Horatio Cornblower

Cowboy defensive of strategy of letting the receiver get so wide open that the QB freaks out and misses him proves effective, for now.

Sharkbait

Did DHop not bother to finish dressing?

Dunstan

Ooh, he was undefeated in high school! Tell me more!

Redshirt

Big deal! Did he play basketball?

Redshirt

Wait a minute. Andy Dalton is a real redhead? I thought he just dyed his body hair his team’s color?

ArmedandHammered

Which is why his career has no Super Bowl wins, no soul to trade for one.

Recovery Whiskey

Like many that are not a Cowboys fans, I have visceral hate for “America’s Team.”

Spur

Come on Cowboys. Do it for the cripple!

litre_cola

I have money on you guys as I believe that Zona is overhyped.

Dunstan

“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING! THE ‘RONA IS TOTALLY OVERHYPED BY THE LOSER LIBERAL MEDIA!” Donald J. Trump

Don T

Buffalo being predictable, part II:
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Horatio Cornblower

Whoever took the under wins.

TheRevanchist

I want Red to do something special, but I also enjoy watching Dallas lose. So conflicted.

Gratliff

Go Birds

Sharkbait

I need 25 points from Lamb and Zeke

Dunstan

At this difficult time, my thoughts are with Jeffrey Toobin. It was an innocent mistake. They told him the Zoom call was for the purpose of election simulation, and, you know, if you’re not paying attention, that reads like “erection stimulation.”

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Just squint until plumber = hobo

WCS

(Scotch gets random boner)

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