Look, I’m sure this game won’t be nearly as fine a spectacle as the Thursday Night Mega Tilt Of All Fixtures, Giants/Eagles!!! but let’s try to make the best of it. Just like I’m trying to make the best of a situation-there is a plumber in my house as I type. (halftime of the first game) He’s ‘fixing things’ and ‘asking me questions I don’t know the answer to’ and ‘questioning my masculinity’. I put on pants for this? He’s not the least bit interested in wearing a mask but a man with his skillset is a somewhat rare commodity in this town, so wadda ya gonna do? You’re gonna watch a game, that’s what you’re going to do.
TO THE GAME!
Cards/Cowboys:
-The Mighty Red Rocket grabs hold of this magnificent O and… well, let’s see what happens. Plenty of imagineers think that he’ll succeed in this spot-his triumvirate of wr’s and his rb are nothing like anything he’s had to work with the last few years.
-This is really a game about defensive futility on both sides-Dallas is 20th vs the pass and 28th vs the run. Yeah!, Vander Esch is back but whatever…
-In signing Zeke the Boys had to let Byron Jones fly away and opposing qb’s have a 141 rating when they go long. The Cards? They have the least amount of takeaways in the league.
-Three of five teams that have played Dallas have had a receiver catch 2 TD’s.
Will we get a high-scoring game that offsets this (so far) low-scoring Chiefs/Bills doozy? Let’s watch and see. Comment as you see fit.
Do we really have to have an NFC East team in the playoffs?
It’ll be a nice confidence boost and chance to build momentum for whichever wild card team gets to play them
Looking at the current matchups, it would be the Packers at the Cowboys. Rodgers should just throw Hail Marys all game.
For fantasy reasons, go pick 6!
That was almost correct.
So close but I don’t think I will get it over the line
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5-QnOkTGmI&feature=share
See? It would have been way better if they had gone for a long field goal on 3rd down
This game is a snuff film
Snuff film is gentler
“Faces of Death.” Theme: bird pecks out human eyes.
That’s the Andy Dalton we all know.
GO FOR IT!!!
What are you going to do, lose the game!?
Punt it!!!
You shut your Canadian piehole
Or that could happen. Have to win that field position battle.
I just laughed so hard at that sack that our cat jumped out the window.
I miss that cat that got onto the field that one time
I’m not sure Lucky Buster is that fast, but you never know.
That’s definitely not him, and I cannot imagine the bloodshed that would result if I tried to stuff him or his feral sister into that shirt.
I really enjoy pictures of cats looking annoyed in clothing, but that cat seems weirdly okay with it
LB would likely tolerate it, but our other cat, Nutmeg The Great & Terrible, is a year-round outside cat, basically feral, (I built her a kickass fort, for which she has shown no gratitude whatsoever), would shred multiple layers of skin off of anyone who tried that crap.
I’ll just assume you live on the 69th floor. My condolences.
Would be nice, (elbows you ridiculously hard in the ribs), but no, he jumped 4′ out of the 1st floor window.
Many years of watching Leslie Nielsen movies may have warped my humor. Also, the Schottenheimer years in KC didn’t help, either.
I now need .86 points to tie Rob, .87 to win, and keep in mind that he has Zurlein. Will I pull it out? Much like the night my son was conceived, absolutely not.
Christ, it’s only still the 3rd quarter….
I can’t wait to see what offensive wizardry BlueBunny comes up with now!
I absolutely want McCarthy fired, but not even Belichek could do anything with this offensive line.
That seems unlikely.
Could just go into victory formation
Plumber Man is gone but he left me his number.*
*this is absolutely true
I reckon you should magnet it to the fridge door, in case you need to get your pipes cleaned in the future.
Cowboys knuckleball kicker experiment not paying off so far.
Hey, another field goal attempt! Missed this time.
28-3, but by all means, let’s try a 58-yard FG.
Fuck you Mike.
Andy definitely thinks he’s on Arizona
Cedrick the Injuretainer
This guy did a lot that contributed to modern life. Probably not as sexy as Patrick Swayze, but they are both dead so the point is moot.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Dalton
Dalton just got a man killed.
While being heralded as the best thing to happen in Dallas this year
Ded’d
Clutching his ribs mid-air probably isn’t a good sign
Thought that was a head-to-head hit, but looks like he just caved in his chest with his shoulder. Which is good, I guess?
Out of breath from solar-plexus hit maybe?
Arizona is already in a prevent defense, and I don’t blame them a bit.
Also, looks like Zeke may have been benched.
Hey, out of curiosity, why did you have to cancel your Mexico trip? Would you have to quarantine on return or something?
We live in CT, so yes, we would have had to quarantine for 14 days when we returned. That wasn’t really an issue, since I work out of the house and Mrs. Cornblower can get creative with her schedule.
The real issue for us was that we have 2 kids and felt like we would have spent more time worrying about what we were being exposed to during the travel to and from the destination, and during any side trips we took, than we would have spent enjoying being away.
That sucks, there’s a whole new comfort level calculation that has to go into travel nowadays. When I went to visit my parents I semi-quarantined beforehand, then took a lot of precautions during the flight, but even with that I didn’t fully relax until a couple weeks after returning home when I could be 100% certain that I didn’t infect them.
Exactly. That said, please enjoy Mexico for us as well as yourself. Vaya con Dios.
2nd and 10, here comes a run up the middle
My god this game is beautiful. — America’s Team Haters Worldwide
This is an awfully familiar score.
Yes, but they’re not the Atlanta Cardinals.
And they aren’t the Dallas Patriots, either.
In an alternate non-Covid world, the crowd size would be the same after this most recent TD
So hulu just decided that us san diego folk don’t get to watch the 2nd half. Anyone else having this problem?
It’s a feature, not a bug
Figured but what the hell am I suppossed to do? Talk to my wife and kids? No thanks
we’re not missing anything. Go get a fish taco.
OK, so they bring in the backup for the 4th right?
Dang, this is quite a beatdown.
—Rodney King
Schadenbleergh
No Edmonds down, must have the Drake, love the Drake.
The Cowboys need to run a few pick plays and take out some officials.
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Some defenses get worn down, some get forced into retirement in the third quarter
May as well just get on the bus at this point
Kirkpatrick tackled him. That’s a bullshit interception.
As a 100% biased Iggles fan, you are absolutely correct. That shit was fucking blatant.
The NFL, of course, will never admit it.
I’m not sure why anyone even gambles on the NFL when the officiating is so bad.
And for the record, the Cowboys are well on their way to losing this game all by themselves; they do not need the officials help.
People gamble on FIFA, people gamble on casino games, people used to gamble on who would get hit by streetcars, people will gamble on damn near anything
Fair point. I used to play poker with a bunch of guys that would have the Barrett car auctions on in the background and they would bet on the outcome of each car.
As a 100% biased Giants fan, maybe the Cowboys secondary should maybe start tackling a bit more. The game isn’t gonna ride on that play.
“And for the record, the Cowboys are well on their way to losing this game all by themselves; they do not need the officials help.”
Eh, don’t mind me. I’m just pissy* because I’m going to lose my FF game on less than 70 points and I should be in Mexico but Trumper won’t wear masks.
*drunk
Thank you so much for posting this-I was gonna respond in a really stupid/pissy way. Seriously, thanks.
I gotcha, man. That one would have been all on me.
Good thing they kicked that field goal, right? Eh?
Please don’t hurt me.
Daltoned
So… anyone see the Tuatara run? That has to be fucking terrifying.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N22JfNHiC1k
Am I wrong that it’s weird of the ‘No on 23’ people to specifically call out that kidney disease can affect Millennials?
I want to rub his head across concrete like an eraser until there’s nothing below the metal collar.
Was Berman always a redhead?
I remember it being dark and greasy years ago. Maybe he has scurvy or rickets or something.
I’m pretty sure his hair was trending towards green two years ago, and that’s not a joke.
I’m not exactly hanging around waiting on Tony Dungy for words of wisdom.
He should have choked on those words as soon as he thought of them
Christ, what an asshole
Not as bad as the simps in his replies.
“No major discipline for the Titans”
This season will not be finished because the NFL is gutless.
Granted, we knew that.
The problem is, every team in the league is probably guilty of the same infractions. The Titans were just unlucky that they didn’t get away with it so it drew attention to them. But if they implemented harsh penalties, the Titans could respond by insisting on the same penalties for every team with infractions that didn’t result in infection.
Remember the Redacteds Rule, where there was a correlation between Redacteds pre-election wins and the incumbent party keeping the presidency? Then the correlation disappeared for the last few elections? Maybe it just isn’t enough for the Football Team to lose a game this year, maybe the entire division needs to blow goat chunks to indicate an historic landslide change in power…
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From your lips/fingers to Dog’s ear!
If McCarthy kicks a FG here I will murder him
That’s it, I’m getting arrested
That seemed like kind of a dumb move.
Sharky, I think you’re closer to him than I am, you’re responsible for bailing him out.
As long as he doesnt flee, I’ll do it
I’m not worried about trial so much as I am writing my inauguration speech as Governor of Texas afterwards.
…uh oh.
Haha. Green Bay fans welcome you to the anti-McCarthy clubhouse, grab a drink and a chair
Bringing Dallas and Green Bay fans together in McCarthy hate. Hilarious
yep, I just called in sick tomorrow, Pray to Cronus I feel better, no way I can chance a Doctors visit for a back.
Do nothing but rest the back.
Last time I fucked up my back I stayed home for a full work week.
‘How will Arizona get any pressure”
I dunno, Brian, but stumbling forward seems to be working just fine so far.
Honestly, I think walking forward is more than enough.
Is CassetteTape Lamb hurt? Why is he on the bench?
Because I need him to score fantasy points for me apparently.
As do I. He’s been in the game, just apparently not in the game plan.