Your Sunday Early Morning NFL Football Open Thread (Left Coast Only)

Let’s neither dilly nor dally-TO THE GAMES!

LIONS/FALCONS:

I invested heavily in Matty Ice fantasy-wise this year and it’s been a bit of a roller coaster operator ride in that I’ve considered a meth-centric life and my personal hygiene has become an issue. Injuries at wr and the o-line have hampered his production but he got right last week, ON MY BENCH! Still, he just needs a clean pocket and he’s fine with an adjusted completion rate of 80% and a passer rating of 103.

Browns/Bengals:

Is this the game where Mayfield gives Cleveland fans hope (again) or does he crash and burn? From the outside looking in it appears that a big part of his success was dependent on confidence and he seems bereft of it now. Play your Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd but wait it out on A.J. Green-turns out the majority of his receiving yards last week came when he was being covered by lb(!) Anthony Walker.

Steelers/Titans:

Looks like what we got here is one of those ‘robust matchups’. Can Tannyhill (I call him this because it reminds me of a soft porn movie I saw called Fanny Hill) withstand Pitt’s unrelenting pressure though? His percentage of sacks taken when under pressure is third, only behind the likes of Kyle Allen and Haskins. Weirdly, there are massive holes in the Steelers secondary as they’ve given up an average of 20 fantasy points to the qb and that includes the likes of Dimes, Driskel and Wentz.

Panthers/Saints:

Carolina has allowed the 4th fewest fantasy points to the wr spot so you may want to park Sanders here. Conversely, take a look at the Panthers starting te (it’s Ian Thomas with a piddly 11 targets to date) because the Saints give up the most fantasy points in the league at that spot.

Bills/Jets:

Josh has stumbled a bit the last two games just as everyone noted that his qb-ing play had gone up several notches. His adjusted completion rate is still over 75% and this tilt certainly has the old ‘get right back up on that horse, cowboy’ feel to it. Vegas is giving 125-1 odds that Gase will be disemboweled in the locker room after the game. I don’t know, a part of me really wants to jump in on that action.

Cowboys/TEAM:

Need to stream a qb this week? You could do worse than Mr. Allen. Everybody wins when they play the Dallas D! And of course take a look at McLaurin if you’re playing daily fantasy-the guy had 12(!) targets last week, FFS. There truly is no one else on TEAM’s wr corpse.

Pack/Texans:

Here’s another of those ‘get right’ games but this one’s for Rodgers. After stinking up the joint a bit last week he gets a Texans D that yields a passer rating of 119.6 and an amazing 6.7 average yards per play. Okay, they give up a lot thru the air, they’re feisty on the ground, right? Naw, they’re the only D to surrender 1,000 yards so far this year.

Comment away, my fellow football fiends!

 

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Networks are feeding me the Dallas and Tennessee games. This is fucked up.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, there’s no escaping them down here. Today is rare insofar as we are not getting the Texans matchup. Such as it is.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Gratliff

Good lord, this is some “Peyton Manning got hurt” levels of quit

Horatio Cornblower

They hate McCarthy and Nolan. It couldn’t be more clear. No one gives a shit, at least on the defense.

Spur

yep.Van der Esch was rumored to be the one calling out the lack of adjustments to the press

Gratliff

Does Dallas have linebackers?

Horatio Cornblower

Jaylon Smith is actually good, but basically playing by himself. Van der Esch is coming off of neck surgery last season and a broken collarbone this season, and Sean Lee is dead.

When all three are healthy they had the best LBs in the league. But they had no depth whatsoever, so now it’s a weakness and an excellent reason to just run on them all day.

Gratliff

I just had to check to make sure Sean Lee is still playing football. Why is Sean Lee still playing football? Does he only plan to live to 40?

ArmedandHammered

Well, he has probably played 1/3 of the games he is supposed to have played so far in his career.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been saying he should retire for years now, but he apparently wants to keep playing until his number of known concussions equals his jersey number.

(it’s 50)

Gratliff

I thought he was getting close to Bob Sanders territory 5 years ago. I can’t believe they let him come back at all.

herodotus450

Kyle Allen upgraded to competent!

Mr. Ayo

I would look competent playing against that “defense”

Mr. Ayo

Buffalo is going to cost me a lot of fucking money today.

Gratliff

Just use hamburger. No need to get all hipster with it.

Horatio Cornblower

This is embarrassing.

God I love the chaos.

Mother Puncher

Joe Burrow unlocked the “back should throw” ability and is spamming it

Gratliff

Only problem with red zone is you don’t get things like Elliot being run over on pass protection

herodotus450

Amazon recommending me saddle lacquer, live worms, and UV lights. What do they know about me that I dont?

Fronkenshteen

Raul Jimenez with the goal! 1-0 Wolves. 81’

Horatio Cornblower

Goals to Newcastle, as they say.
/Sorry, sorry, I’m try to delete it

Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys twitter is something right now.

Horatio Cornblower

If you also set that cesspool on fire, then yes, yes it is.

Recovery Whiskey

We’re losing to a team that don’t even have a name!”

rockingdog

BILLS are really poopin this first half
was really hoping that they would have something like 14pts by now…
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Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
TheRevanchist

I’ll probably poop at half time

ArmedandHammered

Man, Dallas loses today, an apoplectic Jones may go apocalyptic. Over/under on Nolan continuing as DC?

Gratliff

apocaplectic even

Horatio Cornblower

I’m beginning to think they might be playing for Trevor Lawrence. I can’t remember a team not based in Ohio ever playing this badly.

ArmedandHammered

If I was Trevor I would stay another year at Clemson, where he is a rock star instead of being the object of desire for so many teams. Or if the Jets get 1st pick, I would be on board for him to pull an Eli.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d move to Russia if my other option was the Jets.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think it’s fair to call illegal contact on Diggs there, when Diggs clearly not only missed the receiver, but the entire coverage.

Horatio Cornblower

Whoever called that 4th and 1 play for Dallas just now should be fired immediately.

Spur

Fired out of a cannon.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Into the sun.

Gratliff

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s no greater evidence of CTE than the color guy (who is it?) in the PIT-TEN game forgetting the result of the play (clear TEN recovery) that happened six seconds ago.

Mr. Ayo

No idea

— T. Green

herodotus450

Negative 60 yard run by the Bengals? I’d normally ignore it as a box score quirk, but it is the bengals…

Horatio Cornblower

Yahoo just had Biyd with -36 yards on 5 receptions, but has since corrected it

herodotus450

Yeah Perine now has 3 yards instead of -61. How much did the Perines pay to cover this up, YAHOO! !

Horatio Cornblower

Big Fantasy has some questions to answer.
/That’s the name of the stripper who stole my wallet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can you imagine how good the Shaun would be with an offensive line and a coach?

TheRevanchist

Tanny magic throw to 2 receivers. Voodoo!

Mr. Ayo

He tosses a catchable ball.

ArmedandHammered

Amazing what you can do when you get the Gase stench off you.

Mr. Ayo

*Tannyhill’s bank account nods*

Gratliff

That air shot of Lions-Falcons looks like a glitched out NES game. Bad field, bad unis, bad teams

Last edited 3 years ago by Gratliff
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did Jordy Nelson just score for GB?

King Hippo

GOOOOOOOLLLL, Domzale!!

ArmedandHammered

Hippo, for some reason, I always picture you surrounded by TVs, tablets and laptops all on different sports games and gambling sites, kinda like some movie hacker villain.

King Hippo

Don’t forget the cats!!

ArmedandHammered

Sorry Blofeld, forgot the cats.

rockingdog

LOL
Jets still have a lead

also how is that Bills TE Kroft going?

Col. Duke LaCross

His wife was delivering a kid while the rest of the Buffalo TEs caught the Nineteen.

Mr. Ayo

Fake TITS confirmed!

Horatio Cornblower

Watching the games at the nudie bar, are we?

Mr. Ayo

Just finishing up a solid pornhub sesh.

Horatio Cornblower

I honestly think that is the first sack I’ve seen Dallas get this year.

Gratliff

There will be plenty to go around for both teams next week

King Hippo

You know, the one play where they SHOULD use Taysom Hill? But I guess when you have the chance to get your ancient QB murder-killed, you gotta take it.

ArmedandHammered

If the QB dies do you still take the cap hit next year?

Mother Puncher

He was warming up in a “say her name” shirt but he probably thought it meant, like, the virgin Mary or something.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

I keep walking away from the ohio game and something hilarious happens everytime I walk back in the room

Horatio Cornblower

Why you would do anything besides run against Dallas is beyond me.

ArmedandHammered

And some coaches obviously.

King Hippo

I hope one of these coaches challenge over the 1.5 yard differential.

Spur

Horrible play calling

Gratliff

Aaron calls that “The McCarthy”

rockingdog

Matt Ryan got start throwing to Julio Jones man….

Spur

no he doesnt

Spur

Let’s see how Dallas wastes this field position.

King Hippo

At least he made it into FG range?

Gratliff

Goddamn, those are some trash unis

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Horatio Cornblower

Falcons have some great old unis too, and they went with those disasters.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure what scheme the Dallas D is deploying here, but “Don’t Cover The TE & Hope The QB Forgets About Him” doesn’t seem like a great idea.

Gratliff

The Eagles employed this same tactic for Jason Witten for a decade and it worked just as well.

King Hippo

#GetSwifty!

Spur

This is dumb, why do i do this?

King Hippo

Lookit Teddy Ballgame!!

Don T

Jim Nantz voice: “The Titans D opening-drive YD allowed: a tradition that sucks. Like me.”

Horatio Cornblower

Hola, amigos.

Don T

My multiple personalities say “Hola” back, amigo.

King Hippo

Amigos imaginarios

King Hippo

I like FITBAW. Do you also like FITBAW?

Horatio Cornblower

Well, there’s the safety I expected, but kudos for Dallas for pulling it off that way.

Spur

called it

Gratliff

Holy shit, they actually managed to do it after getting 15 yarsd off the line. Takes real effort.

King Hippo

But the execution was a work of art!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was planning on watching the game on Fox, but instead they’re showing some stupid movie about the Packers beating up on some fictional franchise – I guess they didn’t want to pay for the rights to use a real team?

King Hippo

Perhaps my decision to start Burrow over The Ben was the ill advised.

herodotus450

Washington should’ve tried just changing the name of their quarteredback instead of the whole thing.

Porky Prime

“Washington Quarterback” is also a slur, though.

Gratliff

This could be a worse game than Thursday

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way Dalton’s gonna run 80 yards before falling over.

50, maybe.

herodotus450

You’re gonna have to be more specific

Gratliff

Apparently the Eagles get Gints then Cowboys then Gints again because making a schedule is hard. Goddamn, that is some streak of derp.

Horatio Cornblower

This is great, but this upcoming safety is really gonna piss me offf.

Spur

Yeah Dallas!
shit, incoming safety

Redshirt

WE GOTTA DERPOFF ON THE RIVERFRONT!