Your “The Pickens are Mighty Skinny” Sunday NFL Football Early Slate Open Thread

Well, it’s looks as though all my whining and carrying on has been heard by the powers that be and we’ll get a half-decent number of games on the late end. But I never thought things all the way through. We’ve got ourselves a real mixed bag here. Shall we put our metaphorical hand in and root around to see what’s there?

TO THE GAMES!

Texans/Browns:

When will Cleveland understand what they have in Rashard Higgins? The guy catches everything thrown his way, (12 grabs on 15 targets) he moves the chains and when he was actually thrown to 6 times he scored 2 TD’s. Perhaps they should look across the field and see what Houston has done since Billy Bob O’Brien was axed. Wr’s Cooks and Fuller have gone bananas to the tune of 7 TD’s and 688 yards receiving combined. They need all that and more because their D is a joke. Opposing #1 wr’s usually get 100+ yards and a score (or 2).

Team/Lions:

Do you think Wash’s qb Alex Smith is (perhaps understandably) jumpy/gun shy? He throws to his first read more often than anyone aside from Cam and Josh. It’s worked out so far because that look tends to be McLaurin, who has the most yards after the catch than anyone not named Kamara. The secondary beneficiary is the suddenly fantasy-relevant J.D. McKissic.

Jags/Pack:

Not that it’ll be an issue this week but Green Bay only generates pressure on opposing qb’s 25% of the time, down from a figure of 39% last year. Rodgers should be padding his MVP CV here and wr Adams will likely go for 150+ and a score or two. [wipes hands]

Eagles/Giants:

You’d think that of the qb’s on offer here that the one that has the most turnover-worthy plays (off-target throws, passes into tight coverage) would be Dimes. Incorrectamundo! The honour goes to Wentz. Still, the guy has 30+ fantasy points in two of his last three games. You might want to sit Slayton here because since Shepard has returned he’s averaged 9 targets per game. Last week The Darius had just the one.

Bucs/Panthers:

For a 3-6 team Carolina is doing okay on D, giving up an average of 23 points per game over their last seven. Had they been able to score one more TD their record would be closer to 6-2-1. Brady needs to do the rebound thingy after getting hounded by the Saints D and ending up TD-less but them Panthers have three highly-rated cb’s in their secondary, including the league’s most prominent Mennonite, Corn Elder.

Do your blurst.

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rockingdog

Come on Alex Smith
throw it to Terry McLaurin!!!!!
he can catch it good!!

blaxabbath

TB just took the lead.

It’s time to stop counting points.

clint greasewood

This is one of those weeks were the Cowboys “win” because they are on a bye. Most importantly America wins because the Cowboys are on a bye.

Doktor Zymm

Despite the overall poopiness of the NFC East, division games are astoundingly good to watch

LemonJello

It said that The BEN’s peepee will be well protected. harf harf-harf!

Doktor Zymm

Chile and South Africa both opening to tourists, including Americans, soon!

blaxabbath

Good. If we got all our hospitals full, it’s time to start taking slots in the beds of other nations’ hospitals.

Doktor Zymm

They still have a 14 day quarantine?

clint greasewood

This new spin on the game of RISK just got more interesting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve already been to both those countries, though!

Doktor Zymm

Took awhile, but they’ve gone full JAGURA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is there a star in the nfl with worse td celebrations than A-A-ron?

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Fronkenshteen

Is that two people?

Doktor Zymm

Is it better to be a third tier QB, or a fourth tier London airport?

Doktor Zymm

Looks closer to Cousins money, but with higher vulnerability to pandemics: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-54160169

Doktor Zymm

What do you expect from small change?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Immediately makes trade for Daniel Jones, hoping to learn the *real* story] – Pete Carroll

ThePirateSloth

Lol Bucs and Mike Edwards

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wooooo Mike Evans I never doubted you

rockingdog

LOL
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ThePirateSloth

TURF TOE FLARE UP

blaxabbath

RPO kinda loses the R threat when the qb is Brady

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it just me or does Antonio Brown look like Tim Brown in that getup?

LemonJello

Stupid, slow laptop.

Last edited 4 years ago by LemonJello
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it still worked

LemonJello

Skyline kicks at can, trips and falls into the gutter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stagg looks up from their ongoing contract negotiations with Rex Grossman

rockingdog

bleh

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
rockingdog

Matt Stafford gotta start throwin to TE Hockenson
Bowwo wow Do it!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Salt and Straw has a special Thanksgiving menu, so I’m considering doing an ice cream-only Thanksgiving meal

Unsurprised

Delicious

King Hippo

/thinks of old SNL Gay Communist Gun Club sketch

ThePirateSloth

And here I thought offering to make Ms Sloth a full on Italian 7 or 8 course meal was the best way to go for Thanksgiving. Imma change the menu to this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve had their sweet potato one, it’s tasty.

Right now my go to is Jeni’s sweet cream biscuits and peach jam. Oh man is that stuff good.

King Hippo

The two local kids and I are having my mom over for turkey (and we made it clear nobody else) sometime between Thanksgiving and Xmas. My house, so FITBAW stays on. This is all the holiday cheer I shall do.

/will play the Sufjan Stevens Xmas mix

Unsurprised

Living in Portland, I have had a chance to try their Thanksgiving menu a few times. Cutting to the chase, the Roasted Peach & Sage Cornbread Stuffing is the only one that is actually good to eat more than a spoonful of.

Horatio Cornblower

‘Sounds interesting” I say, trying to be polite while shoveling banana-chocolate-chip ice cream into my gaping maw, silently vowing to never eat any ice cream that involves turkey.

Gatoraids

Emotionally roughing the kicker on that return

King Hippo

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL

LemonJello

The Jaguras did a good?

King Hippo

made a special teams touched down!

ThePirateSloth

Victory?

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King Hippo

Charlie Don’t Surf amirite???

ThePirateSloth

The tie-tipper or the Thai-tipper? Because they are certainly two different things.

ThePirateSloth

I have been known to be the latter.

King Hippo

They’s a ladyboy “just the tip” joke in thar

blaxabbath

So has Suh’s career justified his top draft billing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I could get a kick out of that debate.

King Hippo

Nobody takes ridiculous risks for minimal reward quite like Dakota Jeebus

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone watching the Masters? Has Jim Nantz cum yet?

Gatoraids

He’s wearing a green jacket on lil nantz hard to tell

ArmedandHammered

With Tiger’s every stroke.

blaxabbath

I don’t want to hear anything emotional from Senior Chang.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Watching the Masked Singer again?

blaxabbath

Just an ad.

I’m working on The Wire again right now.

blaxabbath

::Throws pick::

“I heard someone say pass,” -C Wentz

Doktor Zymm

This is also a Charkcomment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike Evans is almost as worthless for the Bucs as he has been for my fantasy team

blaxabbath

Dude’s been riding JFF’s coattails since college!

King Hippo

penta-box? HAIL SATAN!

Doktor Zymm

Either my Red Zone is brokens or just really, really delayed

Gatoraids

This slate is just about Satan’s Red Zone just missing the Jets

rockingdog

Bow wowow!!!

ArmedandHammered

That is so Browns.

King Hippo

Alternating Chubb and KHunt, eh? Welcome 2 Biden’s America smh

Doktor Zymm

They’re having trouble grabbing KHunt, so def not Trump’s!

blaxabbath

In Dandy Donnie’s defense, K is over 14.

King Hippo

sweet, I has Breesus and Pals in DFO Survivor, not Bay of Green

Spur
King Hippo

like the Nazis, great deference to those who joined up earliest

blaxabbath

See? These guys are weak as shit. I ain’t worried about a civil war when these losers are the starting lineup for the Nazis.

blaxabbath

Jake Luton?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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King Hippo

where is Waiting FOAR Goeddert?

King Hippo

I HATE FANTASY FITBAW

Doktor Zymm

Slept in this morning. Nice of the Browns to hold the game for me, although I wouldn’t exactly have been even mildly disappointed if they hadn’t

Gratliff

Wonder what it must be like to have a team with a good offense and defense in the same game

ThePirateSloth

*sigh* My only choice is the Bucs game? I got outta bed and put [pajama] pants on for the NFL to tell me I MUST watch Tom Brady every gotdamn weekend? AND GRONK?!?

This should be a crime against humanity.

blaxabbath

Did you know the Panthers D takes their performance seriously?!

Redshirt

Announcers: “For those of you enjoying Tampa Bay vs. Carolina, we now return you to your regularly scheduled game because you don’t deserve a good, completive football game.”

Gratliff

Some glorious football weather in Ohio

Redshirt

Too bad there is no game in Cincinnati. Its blowing harder than (insert porn actress or your mother’s name here).

LemonJello

Fatt Sackford may have injured his feeding hand…

blaxabbath

Good thing he’s fully versed in trough-style dining.